Schoolin' Life
by Sam's Wish
Summary: By the end of this fic, there will be 30 chapters. All one shots, some following the storyline others not. Read, review, tell me what you think! Don't say I never gave you anything :D
1. Grave

**Grave**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters are not mine, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - First of 30 oneshots I plan on writing before I go back to Uni, wish me luck! :)_

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><p>At first they didn't know where it was that he went every night. Every night without fail Aaron would sneak out of Smithy and disappear until the early hours of the morning, until he had to get ready for work. Paddy didn't know where it was that he went, he wanted to know. He worried. He half suspected that he would go to some bar, get blind drunk then pass out. He knew the mechanic was coping with Jackson's death. He hadn't even begun to grieve. Paddy wanted him to grieve.<p>

After one week of having Aaron sneak out at night and sneak back in in the morning Paddy finally shared the news with a worried Chas "Where is he going?" she exclaimed, worried that he could be in jeopardy of being locked up if he put a foot wrong. He was after all on bail for murdering his boyfriend.

"I don't know" Paddy informed her because really he had no clue. He thought about following him once a couple of nights back but he thought better of it, knowing that if Aaron caught him he would not be pleased. He guessed wherever he was and whatever he was doing was helping him come to terms with losing Jackson. "Maybe he's with _her_?" Chas suggested, referring to Hazel. She still blamed the woman for making Aaron do it, it was her fault. She was sure of it but Aaron was very protective over the older woman and she knew why, for Jackson. It was at the funeral that she finally realised just how much the two men had obviously loved each other. She could tell from watching the video message from Jackson to Aaron that the lad had been crazy about her son and quite clearly Aaron felt the same. He had done what had been asked of him, to make Jackson happy he had helped end his life and in the process he had more than likely ended his own too.

"I... I don't think so" Paddy stuttered, he was pretty sure Aaron was keeping his distance from Hazel as stipulated in the conditions of his bail. He knew if Hazel needed him though that Aaron would be there in a second but he had a feeling that wasn't where he was sneaking off to every night. No, he had no idea where it was that he was going.

After their discussion Chas suggested that Paddy quietly broach the subject with the teenager, to see if he could find out anything. When asked by Paddy why she couldn't be the one to ask Chas had merely rolled her eyes, as if Aaron would tell her! Never in a million years! No, it would have to be Paddy if they stood any chance of getting information from him.

It took Paddy a further two days and a quick chat with Adam to see what he knew before he gathered up the courage to ask. It was another early morning, he was in the kitchen when Aaron came walking in through the front door. He tried to make for the stairs but Paddy had been waiting and managed to corner him before he could disappear "Where were you?"

Aaron had merely given him one of his stares, a blank look on his face which Paddy took to mean that he wasn't about to be giving out any information on where exactly it was he was spending the nights.

"I need to get ready for work"

Paddy shook his head. The mechanic needed to start talking, he needed help. He couldn't deal with the loss of Jackson on his own, no matter how hard he tried. "Aaron, where have you been disappearing to at night?"

"Out" the mechanic barked, this time instead of asking he pushed the vet out of the way and made his own way upstairs into his bedroom. Paddy didn't call out or follow; it wouldn't have been a good idea. He had obviously pushed too far as it was.

After the disaster that was him finding out information Paddy passed the buck onto Adam convinced that if he wouldn't talk to him he would talk to his best friend. Adam was his last hope but what Paddy didn't count on was Adam's stupidity, the boy was extremely stupid and couldn't help but put his foot in it which was shown when he himself found Aaron sitting outside the cafe lost in his won world.

"Alright mate?" Adam asked, sitting into the empty seat opposite the mechanic. Aaron's reply was a nod, as he stared into his coffee mug. He wasn't really in the mood for a chat "How you feeling?"

"How'd you think?" the mechanic bit out, harshly. Too harsh he thought but he couldn't care enough to apologise, it was Adam. Adam knew what he was like

"Fancy doing something tonight?"

Aaron shook his head

"We haven't been out on the town in ages"

Aaron shot him a look "Oh!" he snapped "I'm sorry that my boyfriend dying has ruined your partying plans!"

Adam winced at his less than tactful words "I didn't mean that mate, you just need to stop thinking about it. Get out for a few nights, drink"

"I drink" Aaron says and it's true, every night he drinks.

"Are you seeing someone?" Adam asks which, two seconds after the words had left his lip he wished he hadn't said. It set Aaron off. He pushed the chair back, jumping to his feet, Adam too and they were in each other's face, squaring up. Adam merely ready to defend himself again Aaron he wouldn't he throwing the first punch, he's the one with the stupid mouth. "What did you just say to me?" the mechanic ground out between clenched teeth. His fists were clenching, his breathing was getting heavier. He was getting angry. How dare Adam suggest something like that? Seeing someone else? As if!

Chas, who had stepped out to collect glasses runs over to stop the confrontation, pulling her son back or at least trying but he's too busy glaring and ranting at Adam. Asking how he could ask something like that. He knew how he felt about Jackson and just because he wasn't there didn't mean he was about to jump into bed with someone else "Aaron calm down" Chas demands, pulling him.

"I'm sorry!" Adam says quickly "It just slipped out, I know you wouldn't... I know you aren't"

"Just do one Adam!" Chas yells at him and a dejected Adam walks away, leaving Chas to try and calm the raging fires he had set off within Aaron.

Chas turns to her son, holds him tries to hold him at least only to be shrugged off. "Leave me alone Mum!" he snapped, pulling away from her and marching down Main Street. She watches him, wondering where he's going. Expecting him to go off towards the garage but at the bottom of the road he turns right instead of left and she knows where he's going. He's going to one of the only people she had ever known that could stop Aaron from doing something stupid. He was going to see Jackson.

It was another week before they found out just where it was that Aaron would sneak off to every night and it didn't come from Aaron, didn't come from Paddy following him. No, it came from a very unexpected source.

Chas and Paddy had been at the end of the bar, deep in conversation with Laurel had asked if she could join them. They had agreed, wondering what it was that she wanted. She had a look on her face, Chas sighed and asked "What's he done now?"

Laurel was quick to shake her head "Nothing" she assures the two of them "It's just..."

"Just what?" Chas asks, worried

"Did you know that Aaron's been sleeping at Jackson's grave?"

Chas and Paddy's eyes widen. No, they did not know that but how neither of them worked it out when it was quite clearly the only place Aaron could have been gone boggled them both.

"No" Paddy said quickly "We didn't know, we wondered where he was going every night though"

Laurel smiles sympathetically "I don't know how long he's been doing it. I just saw him this morning, first time I've been out that early, has he been doing it for a while?"

"He's been disappearing at night for the past three weeks or so" Paddy explains "comes back early in the morning. We didn't know where he was going"

"He's with Jackson" Laurel tells him "I won't tell anyone, not even Ashley but it's getting colder now, he should think about stopping"

"Thanks Laurel" Paddy says thanking her for putting their minds at ease somewhat. Now they knew where he was going every night but what they didn't know was how to talk to him about it. He clearly couldn't stand to be away from Jackson for too long. Was it healthy to be sleeping at the grave of your dead boyfriend? Probably not and Paddy and Chas had no clue what to do about it?

"What are we going to do?" Chas asked and all Paddy could do was shrug.

Xxx

After that first night, the night of the funeral Aaron found himself continually back at the grave. Once it was dark, night time. The time when he and Jackson would have been in bed together, before the accident, the time when he would be watching Jackson sleep in his bed in Dale Head Aaron made his way to the cemetery. He didn't want him to be alone, he couldn't stand the thought of Jackson all alone. He couldn't leave him. Every night, he would leave Smithy. A four pack in hand and make the short trip to the cemetery. No one ever saw him and honestly, he couldn't have cared if they did. It was where he wanted to be, with Jackson.

He thought it would just be a for a couple of nights, until he got used to it but after the first couple of nights he found he couldn't leave him, he couldn't leave him alone. He needed to be there as much as Jackson needed him there. Jackson was the only person he could talk to and that's exactly what he did. He talked to him, about his fears for the court case, how much he missed him. He told Jackson everything and eventually his eyes would close and he'd fall asleep. He was pretty sure that if he wasn't sleeping that the grave of his boyfriend, he wouldn't be able to sleep. Sleeping next to Jackson made him feel calm, it put him at peace.

He knew people were worried, his Mum and Paddy mostly but they didn't have to be. He was fine. He just couldn't leave Jackson alone; if the roles were reversed he was sure Jackson wouldn't leave him alone either.

It wasn't as if he was doing anything wrong. He still managed to get to work every morning. He just spent his nights with Jackson.

He was aware of something, someone else and his eyes snapped open to find the concerned face of his Mother standing over him. He frowned, how did she know where he was? Pushing himself into a sitting position he glared at her "What do you want?"

"What are you doing Aaron?"

"I was trying to sleep" he informed her "but you've put a stop to that"

"Here?" she asks looking around

"Why not here?" he barks at her "It's where Jackson is"

"Son..."

"Don't Mum" he snaps again only this time he jumps to his feet, gathering the empty beer cans and dropping them into a carrier bag. "You can't keep sleeping here Aaron"

"Why not?"

"It's not healthy"

He knew that. He wasn't stupid. He knew that people would think that but how did he leave Jackson alone?

"I don't want him to be alone Mum" he told her, his voice breaking "He can't be alone. I promised him I'd never leave him"

"Come here" she said, pulling him to her and for the first time since the funeral Aaron broke down in her arms, crying. "I miss him Mum"

She knew that, she could see it when she looked into his eyes. "How about we get you back to Smithy eh? You must be freezing" she says after his crying finally subsides. "He's not there love, he's with you isn't he? That's just a bit of ground. Wherever you are that's where Jackson is"

Aaron didn't believe in that crap but found himself asking "You think?"

"I think if it's possible Jackson will be with you every second of every day. He loved you didn't he?"

" I loved him" Aaron says "I love him, I still love him. It hurts so much"

"I don't know if that'll go away" she tells him honestly "But I know you can't keep sleeping out here, it's getting cold Aaron. Jackson wouldn't want you getting ill because of him, would he?"

Aaron shakes his head, no, Jackson wouldn't want that.

"Will you stop it?"

Looking at the grave Aaron shrugs, he doesn't know if he can stop it. He needs to feel close to Jackson and he feels that here "I'll try" he tells her and allows her to pull him away.

He did try and that night he did end up sleeping at the grave but the night after he didn't. Chas checked every night to see if he was there and for the first week, he was there four of out of seven nights, it carried out like that for a while but slowly the amount of nights he spend my the grave decreased. She didn't know why they decreased, maybe he was dealing with them but the day the court case started she asked why he had stopped and he said

"I needed him to get used to me not being there incase I get sent down"

Chas didn't know what to say to that.

Xxx

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? WANT ME TO WRITE MORE ONE SHOTS? LET ME KNOW! REVIEW PLEASE! :)


	2. Happy Birthday to You

**Happy Birthday to You**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV. _

_A/N - Chapter 2. Enjoy! :D_

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><p>He felt bad. Really he did. It was his birthday and after the strop he had thrown at when it was his birthday he hadn't really expected Jackson to go to so much trouble. Things had changed a lot since then though. He had changed, he was a lot more accepting of his sexuality but still, ruining Jackson's birthday still sticks in his throat. It made him feel even worse when he had woken up earlier that morning by Jackson kissing him and whispering 'Happy Birthday'. He had tried to keep the fact it was his birthday secret, feeling like they shouldn't celebrate it because of what happened in August but he couldn't. Paddy mentioned, his Mum mentioned it, everyone flamin' mentioned it. Jackson knew fine well it was his birthday and it seemed the builder wanted to celebrate it.<p>

"I've taken the day off of work" the builder told him as he sat on the bed watching him get dressed "Why?" Aaron asks confused "I'm going to work"

Jackson is grinning and shaking his head as Aaron eyes him on through the mirror "No, you're not"

Aaron frowns, he was going to work, he was getting ready for work "Debbie said you could have the day off, what with it being your birthday and everything"

"But... but... How come I'm only getting told about this now?"

"Cause Debbie only told me last night"

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know" Jackson shrugs, moving himself along the bed until he's sat on the edge, facing Aaron. His hands sneak on and he pulls Aaron forward by his tracksuit bottoms "It means you don't have to leave this room for a good while yet"

At that Aaron had grinned and pushed Jackson back onto the bed, climbing on top of him. Not going to work and wakening up next to Jackson on his nineteenth birthday had its perks, he had to admit.

That was a good few hours ago though and now, now he found himself sat in Bar West, Bar West which was currently full of his friends and some of his family members all to celebrate his birthday and all because Jackson had planned it. That guy really did continue to surprise him. He hadn't been the best boyfriend to begin with but he was pretty sure he was getting better at it, at least he hoped he was.

"Hey you!" Jackson's voice pulls him out of his own little world and he turns to the builder, his face lighting up as he does so "Hey yourself, where you been?"

"Getting chatted up" Jackson says with a huge grin "Oh aye?" Aaron asks "Getting sick of me are you?"

"You are getting old"

"Like em' young do you?"

Jackson thinks about it for a minute before shaking his head and moving in closer towards him, Aaron thinks he's getting a kiss but Jackson stops just in front of his face, a teasingly "Nah, just you" Aaron finds himself wondering why Jackson hasn't kissed him yet, he wants him to kiss him but he's just sat there, grinning at him like an idiot and suddenly Aaron realises what the older man wants. He wants Aaron to make the final decision, yeah, they kiss and they'd kissed in Bar West countless times but this time it was different, this time half of the village was in the bar. Jackson was giving him the option but Aaron knew there was only one correct answer and he moved forward, capturing Jackson's lips, kissing him deeply.

It's almost a minute and a half before they pull apart, both breathless but with matching smiles on their faces. They were happy and they were together, not much more they could want. Aaron was determined that come August he would give Jackson the best birthday he had ever had. He didn't even have to worry about whether or not they would still be together because he knew they would. They weren't going anywhere; he couldn't not be with Jackson they'd tried that and they were both miserable. No, it was the two of them against anything, they belonged together, and Aaron knew that.

Aaron scanned the bar, taking in the laughing, happy faces of his friends and family and couldn't actually believe just how lucky he had been. He was nineteen. He was finally accepting his sexuality, he had a job, he and his mother were getting on better, he had his friends, but more than anything he had Paddy, the man who made him feel safe and loved and of course he had Jackson. The guy that no matter what he put him through had stuck by him, had wanted to be with him. He knew most people in the village thought Jackson was crazy for going anywhere near Aaron but Aaron was grateful that he had, he wouldn't be who he was today if it weren't for Jackson. He was fully aware of that.

The music changed and he had an idea. It was completely throw Jackson as he never in a million years would it expect from him but, he grabbed the builders hand and pulled him from their booth. "Where we going?" Jackson asks "The toilets?" he suggests playfully causing Aaron to turn and give him a look "Just a suggestion" the builder mumbles. A pretty good suggestion he thought, Aaron was looking hot and by god did he want him.

Jackson found himself in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by bodies, he was confused. Aaron didn't dance "What are we doing here?"

"I wanted to dance with you" Aaron says moving forward and slipping his hands around the builder's waist. Aaron feels a little awkward, he knows people are watching him but this is what he wants and no matter what anyone else thought he was going to dance, for the first time ever, with his boyfriend.

"You don't dance"

"Are you going to keep reminding me of that or are you just going to take the opportunity to dance with me, hmm?"

Jackson didn't need to think about it long a couple of seconds later he had pressed his body against that of Aaron's and wound his arms around his neck. Aaron didn't dance and he was pretty sure that the guy who had his arms currently wrapped around him was not Aaron Livesy but he wasn't going to complain, it felt far too good. They way Aaron was grinding against him felt _far too_ good.

As they swayed to the music Aaron thought about Jackson, about their relationship and how he felt about the guy he currently had his arms wrapped around. He knew how Jackson felt about him, Jackson had told him that he loved him and Aaron still hadn't uttered those three little words back to him. He couldn't, he didn't know. Jackson had told him that when he was in love, he'd just know and that's when it struck him. He knew. Just how the hell did he tell Jackson without sounding like an idiot? He had no clue, but he was sure he'd have to think of a way, he couldn't keep this news until Jackson's birthday. Valentine's Day was coming up, it was clichéd and stupid but if he hadn't told him before then he told himself he would most definitely tell him then.

He felt a hand on the back of his neck and knew it could only belong to Jackson; he was turning his face towards him "Hey" he whispers to get his attention

"Hi" Aaron smiled down at him

"Happy Birthday" Jackson whispered just before kissing him soundly on the lips. _Yeah_, Aaron thought it was a happy birthday, the happiest he'd ever had by far.

Xxx

A/N - Reviewing makes me happy and makes me post the next chapter faster! Let me know what you think! :D


	3. Hands

**Hands**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Chapter 3! Sorry it took so long. I had a break, got that tattoo I wanted and decided I now want more! Tattoo parlour here I come! :D Holidays are stressful, I won't be doing that again...Until Saturday! Enjoy! :)_

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><p>He missed walking, of course he did. He missed being able to do his job, climb scaffolding he missed it all but what he really missed? Above everything, the thing that he ached for more than anything was the touch of Aaron's hands. He hadn't felt those hands on his body in such a long time he was worried he would forget what they felt like all together. He hoped, oh how he hoped that wouldn't happen. It couldn't happen; if that ever happened he's pretty sure he'd wheel himself under a bus.<p>

The thought of Aaron and what they used to get up to in bed was what kept him going most days. When he was quiet, lost in his own little world he was usually in bed with Aaron, doing what they did best, making up.

To look at him you'd think Aaron was rough, nothing sensitive or soft about him but Jackson knew different. Jackson was the only one that knew different. He got to see a different side to the mechanic. A side he was sure no one else but him had ever seen, not even the girls he had been with before. Jackson knew that with them he had never let himself go with them the way he did when he was with him, never, not once. He remembers every time they had shared a bed, shared their own personal space. If he closes his eyes he can feel Aaron's skin against his, he can feel his hands. Aaron's hands, it amazed him how those hands, so rough, almost like leather it amazed him how they could turn to velvet in a touch. His hands, when roaming his body felt like fine velvet. Velvet he would never feel again, velvet he feared would be someone else's to find. The thought of Aaron with someone else broke him; it hurt more than the crash could have. Imagining someone else touching the body that was his. Aaron was his, he didn't want to lose him, he didn't want to share him but he also didn't want to keep him, he had never and would never be that selfish.

Aaron still touched him, but now he couldn't feel it. He could see it and if he tried hard enough he could recall just exactly what it felt like to have his hands on that particular part of his body but he didn't want to use his imagination. He wanted to stand up, push Aaron down onto the bed that was now his permanent home and lose himself in him. That's what he dreamt about, he dreamt about making love to Aaron again.

Suddenly, out of nowhere he felt said hand or rather a finger from those hands run along his jawline, commanding his attention. He turned his head, to face those deep blue penetrating eyes that he could lose himself in "Hey" he smiles at the guy that had stolen his heart and clearly refused to give it back

"Hey yourself" Aaron replies with a grin that matches his own "Your Mum's at the Woolpack, I wanted you to myself"

Jackson's grin turns into a genuine smile, he misses the time they used to spend alone. They don't get all that much anymore, unless either he or Aaron demands it, apparently though Aaron had "Don't mind do you?"

"What do you think?" He'd tried pushing him away and for a second he thought he'd done it, Aaron had been dating someone else but no, he came back, not only did he come back but he uttered those three little words Jackson had been wanting to hear from his lips. He loved him and he stated quite clearly that he wasn't going anywhere. He didn't want him to go anywhere if he was truly honest with himself.

Without asking Aaron climbed onto the bed and settled himself on his side, facing Jackson, before using those hands that Jackson loved so much to turn Jackson onto his side. It would be far more comfortable for the both of them "You alright?" Aaron asks, looking into the brown eyes of his boyfriend

"I am now" Jackson answers truthfully because somehow, no matter how he's feeling Aaron can always make him feel better. He knows his eyes light up when he sees him and he can't stop himself from smiling and he wouldn't have it any other way if he was honest.

Aaron leans forward, brushing his lips against Jackson's in a soft, gentle kiss. Their kisses, Jackson realises are always soft and tender these days, it's as if Aaron is scared of getting too possessive, incase he hurt him or something. Deciding enough was enough Jackson ran his tongue along Aaron's bottom lip, the way he always did when they kissed and instinctively Aaron's lips parted allowing his tongue access to his its playmate whom it had missed terribly.

That's how they stay, close together on the bed, kissing and sharing small details of their days, mostly Aaron's day and before either of them knows it they've drifted off to sleep which is exactly how Jerry and Hazel find them when they come back from the pub.

At the sight of the two men on the bed together Jerry pulls a face, which earns him a smack from Hazel "If you don't like it" she says in hushed tones "Get out, look at them" she grins happily "so in love, not a care in the world" she knew now, how much the two of them loved each other. She had faith that they'd be OK. Jerry didn't say anything else, he just walked out of the living room and into the other room, giving the two men their privacy not that they were aware that they were being watched however, they were still fast asleep lost in each other.

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><p>AN - Reviews make me write and post more a lot quicker, so you know, review.


	4. Hide

**Hide**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

A/N – For Dee because we know how to construct a proper sentence and use punctuation properly. Other people should follow suit. Just saying (some people). It's long-ish. Blame Dee and RandomPast, his tendency to write lengthy chapters rubbed off on me here. Think I was channelling him! :)

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><p>Eleven months. That is how long they had been together, eleven long months and sometimes, to Aaron, it felt like a life sentence. It felt years rather than the months it had been. He was grateful, of course he was to the guy for helping him come out, for being there whilst he dealt with the insecurities he had about his sexuality but he just couldn't see a future for them. He wanted to end it, he wanted to tell him it was over but every time he tried he felt bad and would decide not to, it was especially hard after the boy had uttered those three little words to him and put in the spot he had said it back. He didn't mean it though, really he didn't. He didn't love him, he wasn't sure he ever would. He'd tried but it just wasn't there, they barely even had a spark between them and the sex was forced. The sex shouldn't need to be forced, it should just come naturally to them, they should fit together like two puzzle pieces but they didn't, they had once, he thinks anyway but now, now they didn't fit, far from it.<p>

He didn't want to be with him yet, he found himself sitting in Bar West waiting on him appearing after college. What else was he to do? He just secretly hoped he would get tired of his attitude and do the hard work for him but what he didn't bank on was meeting someone that would turn his world upside down.

He felt someone brush up against him as they stood at the bar "sorry" the guy threw over his shoulder without looking at him. Aaron turned, a scowl on his face and was about to say 'watch where you're going next time' but the words died on his lips. The guy was friggin' gorgeous. He was pretty sure he was drooling so instead he said "Don't worry about it" secretly hoping the guy would turn, look at him, so he could get a better look.

He did and when he did Aaron was pretty sure he couldn't breathe. The guy's smile was one of those smiles that would make you go weak at the knees and Aaron was glad he was sat on the bar stool "Sorry mate" he replied again "didn't spill your drink did you?"

"No" Aaron says shaking his head whilst telling himself to get it together. _'Stop acting like a Pratt, talk to him!'_

"Want me to buy you another?" the guy asks slipping into the vacant bar stool. A good boyfriend would have said _'that's taken' _but all thoughts of being a good boyfriend were long gone. He knows he should decline but he just couldn't and instead says "Please"

The guy, whose name he still doesn't know smiles at him and their eyes lock. It should have been awkward, two strangers sat at a bar staring intensely at each other but it wasn't and it was only interrupted by the bar maid "What can I get you boys?"

"Two beers please" the guy asks, with a smile to the barmaid before turning back to Aaron "I'm Jackson by the way" he says, extending his hand. For a couple of seconds Aaron can only stare at the extended hand before his brain kicks in and he shakes it "Aaron" he tells him "Aaron Livesy"

"Well" the gorgeous guy says, whose name he now knows to be Jackson "Aaron Livesy, I'm Jackson Walsh, builder extraordinaire"

"Cheers for the beer"

"Least I could do" Jackson tells him with a genuine smile, he looks around the bar "You here on your own?" the builder asks, making conversation.

"Waiting on someone" Aaron replies, wishing he wasn't. Wishing he could spend the rest of the night getting to know Jackson. He wanted to get to know Jackson.

"You?" he asks only he had an agenda, he wanted to know if Jackson had a boyfriend and it he was wasting his time

"Waiting on my mates" Jackson tells him "I thought I would be late, typical" he says rolling his eyes "It's alright though" he nudges Aaron's arm "I get to make a new friend"

Aaron couldn't help but smirk at that, he was happy to let Jackson make a new friend in the form of him "Who are you waiting on then?" Jackson asks "boyfriend?" He doesn't miss the way the Aaron's face drops at the question and he reluctantly nods "Yeah, boyfriend"

"You should tell your face to be happy about that"

Aaron snorts, happy? He'd be happy if he got a phone call to say that Flynn had been crushed by a bus that would make him happy cause then he could spend the rest of the night with Jackson, that's what he really wanted to do.

They spend the next ten minutes talking about things that really weren't that important, such as their ages, what they did for a living even although Aaron now knew that Jackson was a builder. They got to know each other a little better, it help pass the time until Jackson's friends and Aaron's boyfriend turned up. Aaron was still hoping he wouldn't turn up though, praying silently. He wasn't a good boyfriend, a good boyfriend wouldn't be thinking the things he was thinking about the guy sat beside him.

"Fancy a game?" Jackson asks, looking at the young mechanic but he didn't get a response, Aaron seems to be in a world of his own "Aaron" he says this time nudging him and he does get a response, the teenager turns to him, a breathtaking smile on his face and Jackson is sure his heart skipped a beat. The guy was gorgeous, he just had to keep reminding himself that he had a boyfriend, nothing would be happening between them, they could be mates but that is where it would end.

"A game of what?"

"Pool" Jackson says with a laugh, nodding in the general direction of the pool table. Aaron thinks about it, looks at his phone, then the door then Jackson again. Flynn would be arriving at any minute, what would he think to him playing pool with another guy? Not just another guy but another guy that looked as good as Jackson did? He wouldn't like it. Deciding that he could play pool with whoever he wanted and that Flynn wouldn't dictate his friends Aaron agreed.

"Sure you want to lose?"

"Ha!" Jackson responds, sliding off of his chair and heading towards the table "We'll see"

They've barely started playing when Aaron feels someone behind him, he turns around, planning on telling whoever it was to get out of his personal space only to find Flynn. You can't very well tell your own boyfriend to get out of your personal space can you?

"Oh, hey" he says with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, it wasn't a lot but whether or not Flynn noticed Aaron didn't know because he didn't say anything "Hey" Flynn replies, kissing him quickly "what are you up to?"

"Just playing pool" Aaron answers, as if it wasn't obvious what he was doing "he's pretty good" Flynn says looking over Aaron's shoulder at Jackson. Jackson grins at him and replies "I'm better"

Aaron can't help but scowl at the builder but all he does is smile back and try as he might not to, he smiles right back at the builder.

"Cool" Flynn says with a nod of his head "How about I get another round then? I play the winner? What do you say?"

"Sounds good" Jackson nods and Aaron, well Aaron doesn't know what to say. He doesn't want to walk away from Jackson quite yet but having his boyfriend around whilst he was practically drooling over another guy? He wasn't sure if he wanted that either but he still found himself agreeing to Flynn's proposal.

Jackson watches the younger man make his way towards the bar before focusing his attention onto Aaron "Nice guy" he says and Aaron nods, agreeing him with him. Flynn was a nice guy, Aaron just didn't want him.

"So!" Aaron says changing the subject "These mates of yours, did you make them up?"

Jackson laughs at that and shakes his head "Nah" he says "I was just early, they'll be here but if you want me to leave you and him alone just say that word"

"No!" Aaron says quickly, too quickly and he notices Jackson's eyebrows raise in question but the builder doesn't say anything and Aaron is grateful. He didn't know how to explain the fact that he didn't want the older man to go anywhere, not without saying _'cause I fancy you like mad'_ which would have been the truth.

The game of pool lasted another ten minutes with Jackson, in the end, being the winner "Yes!" he grinned at the young mechanic "Told you I was better"

"I let you win" Aaron informs him, closing the distance between the two of them "I felt sorry for you, after all, you had to pretend you were coming here to meet your mates right?" the mechanic says with a smirk.

Jackson rolls his eyes "You wish!" he laughs "Just admit I'm better and we'll be done"

"Never" Aaron scoffs "I don't lie"

Neither of them were aware of it, but they had ended up moving closer together, so close in fact that they were almost standing chest to chest whilst basically undressing the other with their eyes. Flynn, who had been sitting at the table by the pool table would have been blind not to notice the way Aaron was smirking at Jackson and the way Jackson was looking Aaron up and down. What was going on? Flynn was pretty sure he'd never seen Aaron look at anyone like that, not even him.

"Uh...guess I'll be playing you then Jackson, huh?" the younger lad says coming to stop beside the two of them. As if noticing how close he was to this guy who clearly had a boyfriend Jackson took a step back "Sure" he says, unable to look at Aaron. What was he playing at? He didn't hit on people with boyfriends. It wasn't him, he wasn't about to change that now, no matter how good the mechanic looked.

"Set it up" he says pointing at the table "I'll go get some more drinks"

He couldn't help it, Aaron watched him walk away. He had to admit, he looked good from behind. When he turned back around though, it was to find Flynn staring at him with a less than impressed look on his face "What?" Aaron asks with shrug

"Enjoy the view did you?"

"What are you on about?" Aaron demands, stepping closer "You, practically undressing that guy"

"Flynn" Aarons says stepping closer to him "Stop your worrying, I'm with you aren't I?"

Before Flynn could reply, before he could berate his boyfriend for openly eyeing up another guy in front of him the loudest voice ever yelled "JACKSON!" across the bar, causing all eyes in the place to look in the direction of the door "Looks like his mates have turned up" Flynn says "Guess that game of pool is out, we can go back to the village"

Aaron didn't like that idea. He didn't want to go back to the village, he wanted to hang around, get to know Jackson a little more, spend some more time with him but he knew, that he would have to go back with Flynn. He couldn't hurt the guy by saying no, Flynn would clearly know why he wanted to stay.

"Sure, let's go tell him though yeah? Before he buys us another drink" Aaron is already weaving through the crowd when he yells back over his shoulder "grab my jacket" to his boyfriend. He wanted to tell Jackson they were leaving on his own, he didn't want Flynn there.

Jackson felt a hand on the small of his back, followed by someone squeezing in behind him. He also saw the way a couple of his friend's eyes lit up at looking whoever it was. He guessed who it was before he turned around "Alright?"

"Yeah" Aaron nods, trying not to look at that perfect mouth that he just wanted to kiss. "We're going to head, your mates are here now, you don't need us to keep you company"

He was disappointed by that, he wanted the mechanic to hang around a little longer but he had a boyfriend, he had to remind himself of that fact. He had to let him go with him "Alright" Jackson nods "See you around though, yeah?"

"Yeah" Aaron answers, again looking at Jackson mouth. He thinks about leaning forward, kissing him but then he hears Flynn's voice saying "Ready?" and he knows he can't. He nods his final goodbye to Jackson and leaves the bar with his boyfriend. The boyfriend he can't really stand and the boyfriend he doesn't want to be with.

Xxx

It was one week before Aaron could get back to Bar West; well, before he could get back alone. He didn't want to go with Flynn and luckily Flynn was away for a week with his course, Aaron could hang around Bar West as often as he wanted, alone. Alone and hoping a certain brown eyed builder would turn up. Aaron wasn't sure if he was a regular because he and Flynn would hang around Bar West a lot and Aaron was sure that if Jackson had been there he would have seen him.

He'd been at the bar since he had finished work. That was just over an hour ago and in that time two guys had attempted to hit on him. He'd dealt with them quickly, telling them to "do one" which, thankfully the two of them did without as much as a word back. They clearly knew where they weren't wanted. It was the first night of Flynn's course and the first night of Aaron stalking Bar West for the builder. He hoped he turned up, because he wanted to spend time with him.

As if on cue the builder made his way through the front of door of Bar West. Aaron watched as he stood scanning the crowds, obviously looking for someone, he must have found them because his eyes lit up and he waved. Aaron couldn't help himself, he had to see what he was smiling at, he followed the builder's line of sight to see a group of around six guys, clearly it was just his friends. Aaron felt better about that; it meant Jackson wasn't smiling about just one person. Not like him anyway, he could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage and all because Jackson walked into the Bar. When he turned back to the door Aaron was disappointed to realise that Jackson was no longer standing there, that was until a voice said "Can I get you that drink now?"

Aaron whipped around to be faced with the smiling builder, he couldn't help it, he grinned "Sure" he says "Only reason I'm here. I hate missing free beer"

Jackson slips into the empty bar stool next to him "Not taking...Flynn's seat am I?"

"No" Aaron says shaking his head "He's not here"

"Let you out alone has he?"

"He's away for the week actually" Aaron says, suddenly asking himself just why he's telling Jackson all of this. It's not like he has to know.

"So I have to take pity on you then do I? So you don't look like a saddo sat here on your own"

Aaron shrugs, he doesn't want to come across too keen on that idea, even although he was "Alright then" Jackson say after ordering their drinks "wanna join me and my mates?"

Aaron didn't really like the look of the mates, some of them seemed to camp for his tastes but Jackson wasn't camp. There was nothing about Jackson that screamed 'gay' and if it was the only way he could spend time with him he would grin and bear it "Sure" he says slipping off the bar stool and following Jackson's lead.

He spent as long as he could, in Jackson and his friend's company but after an hour he couldn't hack it. They weren't really his sort of people and he quietly excused himself from the group, not that anyone noticed, or so he thought anyway.

Jackson was aware of Aaron the entire time they were sat at the table with his mates and he was even more aware when the mechanic stood up and quietly walked away. He didn't want him to walk away, he wanted to spend time with him "excuse me"

"Oh aye" Tom, one of Jackson's mates said "Following the bit of rough are you?"

Jackson grins and says "Don't you wish you'd seen him first?"

"Thought you said he had a boyfriend?"

"What?" Jackson asks, pulling his best offended look "I'm just being friendly"

Tom gave him a look, a look that said 'I don't believe you' but Jackson ignored it and followed Aaron through the crowd, he hoped the mechanic was headed for the bar and not the exit, luckily he was and that is exactly where he caught up to him.

"Hey" Jackson says pulling on Aaron's leather jacket to stop him from walking further away "where you off?"

Aaron turns, an apologetic smile on his face "Sorry" he says "Just...not my kinda conversation"

"Oh, want me to leave you alone?" the builder asks, really wanting to the mechanic to say 'no' and luckily he does

"No, just can we just sit ourselves?"

"Sure" Jackson grins, looking around for an empty table "you get us a drink; I'll find us a table"

That was how their night progressed. Each night for five days, without a word to the other about it, they would show up at Bar West, meet at the same table, it always seemed to be free and they would get to know each other better. With every night they spent together, it was harder and harder for Aaron to walk away. He didn't want to walk away, he felt like he could talk to Jackson all night and that was weird for him, he didn't talk to anyone.

On their fifth night together, Friday night Aaron wanted more, he needed more "Are you going to give me your number?" the mechanic asks, dropping it mid conversation. Jackson had been talking about his current job but Aaron needed to know.

"You never asked" Jackson reminds him "Why would you want my number?"

Aaron just gives him a look

"You've got a boyfriend"

"Cheers for reminding me"

Jackson pulls face but still, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet "here" he says handing the mechanic his business card "take this, you never know, you might need a builder one day"

"Cheers" the mechanic smiles gratefully "gonna give me yours?" Jackson asks and Aaron unable to help himself smirks and says "but I have a boyfriend"

Jackson fails to look impressed and Aaron pulls out his mobile, quickly typing off a text and sending it to the number on the card. Jackson lifts his phone when the alert goes off signalling he had a text message and saves Aaron's number. He has no clue why he's doing it. Aaron has a boyfriend and there is no way he's going there whilst he does have a boyfriend but still, they were mates, they could have each other's numbers, right?

Xxx

It was thanks to him finally working up the courage to ask for the builder's number that he didn't have a wasted trip to Bar West the next again night, Saturday nights of all nights. He was in bed, where he planned to be until well after midday when a text came through on his phone. Assuming it was from Flynn he was very reluctant to look at it, but after telling himself to man up, he finally did just that. His heart soared though when he realised that the text wasn't from Flynn it was in fact from Jackson. The happiness he felt was short lived though as when he opened the text message it simply said.

_**Won't be at Bar West tonight, sorry. **_

He read those seven short words over and over again each time hoping that they would change but they never did. He felt as if his heart had plummeted into his chest. It was Saturday night, he had been planning on spending it with the builder in Bar West but clearly the builder had other plans that's when he started to let his mind run away with him.

It was Saturday night, was the builder blowing him off so he could see someone? Did he have a date? The idea of the builder being on a date stung him to the bone. It cut deep, he didn't want to think about the builder with someone else, and not when he wanted him for himself. He didn't want to share, he knew he was the one with the boyfriend but he was the one with the boyfriend that he didn't want. He wanted Jackson. It was right there and then that he told himself he would be going to Bar West that night, just to see if Jackson was trying to avoid him and if that was the case he would demand an explanation.

He threw the duvet from his body and wondered just what he was going to do until later. Adam! He could go hang out with Adam and then convince Adam to go to Bar West with him then if Jackson's was there it wouldn't look like he was turning up just to see if the builder was lying to him or not. He liked his plan. It was a good plan. He knew he would face questions from Adam, mostly about what he had been up to because Adam would have thought that with Flynn away he would be spending his free time with the farmer but as that hadn't happened. He was expecting questions. Lots of them.

Xxx

Jackson was across town, in his own bed holding his phone in his hands. He didn't want to send the text, really he didn't but the more he thought about Aaron the more he realised he was falling for the younger man. They had been together every night for the past five nights and he wasn't sure if they were dates, Aaron had a boyfriend but they sure felt like dates. He couldn't risk another one, he was close to kissing the mechanic the night before. He was pretty sure he'd cave and kiss him if they were to have another one of their dates that weren't really dates. Why did he have to have a boyfriend? A boyfriend he seemed to forget about whenever he was around him. He didn't know what it meant, he wanted to know but he wasn't the type of person to break up relationships and he wasn't about to become that person just for Aaron, no matter how fit the mechanic was.

No, he was going to stop seeing the mechanic and tonight, he was going to be at Bar West and hang out with his mates. Maybe he could find himself someone who wasn't Aaron Livesy because Aaron Livesy wasn't available. Aaron wouldn't be at Bar West, not now that he had text him, so he knew he could go there and try to put the mechanic out of his mind. He could put him out of his mind at least for one night because he knew if Aaron was to text him, asking if he wanted to go out for a drink he would agree.

Xxx

"Why are you dragging me here?" Adam complains as they cross the road towards Bar West. Aaron scowls at him "Problem?" he asks and Adam shakes his head, he doesn't have a problem with going to the bar because it's a gay bar, he just wanted to hang around the Woolpack and get drunk "Why couldn't we have gotten drunk in the Woolpack?"

"The Woolpack doesn't have a pool table" Aaron explains, hoping that would shut his mate up, it seems to work "Fair point" Adam says with a nod and follows Aaron inside.

As soon as he through the doors he's scanning the place, looking for him. As he stands there, on top of the stairs searching he thinks for a second that he might not see him because he might not be there, that is until he comes walking out of the toilets, wearing a red checked shirt and laughing as he walks towards one of his friends. Aaron frowns, Jackson clearly wasn't busy so why cancel on him? He was even further convinced that the older man was on a date when a guy he had never seen before slipped his hand onto Jackson's lower back and whispered something in his ear, causing the builder to grin and laugh. He felt uncontrollable anger well up inside him, he needed a drink or twenty and with that he pushed through the scrum of bodies to get to the bar.

"So when's Flynn back?" Adam asks, making small talk as they wait for someone to serve them. He can't help but notice how tense his mate has become since they entered the bar, he was perfectly fine outside.

"Monday" Aaron answers his answers short and harsh. He's too busy imagining what Jackson and that guy are getting up to behind his back. He wants to turn around and look but at the same time he doesn't because he isn't sure he could control himself, he knows if he were too see them kissing that he would end up doing something he'd later regret. He had to keep reminding himself that he had a boyfriend and that Jackson wasn't said boyfriend. He could hit on and touch whoever the hell he wanted and Aaron couldn't do anything about it.

"There's people on the pool table" Adam points out as Aaron orders their drinks. Aaron turns, recognises the people as Jackson's mates. He smirks to himself "No reason we can't join them right?" he suggests "I know a couple of them"

Adam followed his friend towards the group of guys "Mind if we join?" Aaron asks, receiving a polite "not at all" from the guy as he eyed Aaron up, obviously not recognising him from the night he met him with Jackson "We're just going round, see who stays on the longest"

"Cool" Aaron says with a nod "You two any good?" the guy asks

"Yeah" he nods at Adam "He isn't though"

Adam pulls a face "Eh, I'm better than you"

The guy, whose name Aaron can't quite remember looks at him then at Adam and back again "Boyfriend?"

"No!" Adam snaps quickly "I'm straight"

"That's what they all say!" the guy teases good naturedly "I'm Greg"

"Aaron, this is Adam"

Before they could make anymore small talk a voice that Aaron instant recognised filtered through as the man in question appeared at Greg's side "Who am I playing...then" he says, noticing Aaron his eyes going wide. He looks at Adam too but he doesn't know him. Trying to regain his composure Jackson coughs and nods "Alright"

"We've made some new friends" Greg says "Aaron and Adam here wanna play, that's alright isn't it?"

"Yeah, cool" Jackson nods, unable to tear his eyes from Aaron. Aaron is glaring at him and he can't blame the poor lad, he had told him he couldn't make Bar West and yet there he was, standing in Bar West playing pool with his mates.

Adam, knowing Aaron as well as he does picks up on the tension between his friend and this new guy "Uh... I'm Adam" he says extending his hand "Jackson" Jackson says with a nod "I've met Aaron before he explains. Adam nods, he wants to ask questions but decides to hold off, he'll wait and see what else happens before asking questions.

"You're playing me!" Greg announces happily "but don't worry, I know I'm not going to win"

"Mind if I play the winner?" Aaron asks, looking around. It's obvious some of the guys recognise him "No bother, we've got while, it'll be good to see how good the new blood is"

Aaron sat at the table, beer bottle in hand as he listened to Adam make small talk with a guy to his left, it turned out, he too was a farmer on his Dad's farm just outside Harrogate, he and Adam could talk about whatever it was they got up to on a farm until their hearts content. Aaron on the other hand, well, he was trying hard not to stare at Jackson and so far he was failing at that. He couldn't keep his eyes off of the builder. He was angry that his suspicions were correct, Jackson had been trying to avoid him but what he didn't know was why, that's what he wanted to know and what he needed to know.

Jackson could feel Aaron's eyes on him and if he was honest it was putting him off of his game. He had missed four shots already, luckily the friend he was playing wasn't all that good at pool so he'd still beat him but he was considering throwing the game, just so he didn't have to play Aaron. He didn't want to play Aaron, and then he would have the full force of those intense blue eyes staring at him with questions. Questions he didn't want to answer, questions he couldn't answer.

Looking up whilst it was Greg's shot his eyes caught Aaron's and he felt as if he was losing himself in those deep blue eyes. Deep blue eyes that looked disappointed, in him. He hated it.

"Be right back" Jackson says before disappearing towards the toilets leaving a confused Greg in his wake. Aaron quietly excuses himself from the group and makes his way towards the same toilets. He had to have it out with the builder. He had to know what was going on. Adam was the only person that noticed him follow the builder and that was only because he had keeping an eye on the mechanic. There was something clearly going on between him and that Jackson guy. He decided he would have it out with Aaron when he came back, he wasn't going to follow them.

Xxx

Aaron pushes the door of the toilets open roughly, causing it to hit off of the wall. Jackson, knowing who it was says "was there any need for that?" there was a couple other people in the toilets but he didn't care, he couldn't care.

Aaron ignored the question and walked further in, Jackson was leaning heavily against the sink, looking at his own reflection in the mirror. "Stare at yourself in the mirror often?" the mechanic asks, trying to lighten the mood.

Jackson lets out a small laugh "Well, when you're this good looking..." he says leaving Aaron to work out the rest of the sentence for himself.

They stare at each other through the mirror for a few minutes, neither one of them really sure what to say to the other. Aaron had planned on demanding to know what he was up to but looking at the builder now, he just couldn't find the anger that had been there earlier.

"Thought you couldn't make it to Bar West tonight?" he asks, calmly and Jackson is surprised by how calm he sounds, he thought he would be pissed.

Jackson sighs and drops his head forward "Aaron..."

"What?"

When Jackson looks up again it's to see Aaron standing closer to him that he had been before, much closer in fact.

"We both know where this is going" he straightens up to look the mechanic in the eye "What's wrong with that?" Aaron asks, not seeing a problem.

"You have a boyfriend"

Aaron looks around "I don't see him" he says "No boyfriend here"

"He'll be back though, won't he Aaron?"

Aaron covers his face "I don't want him!" he snaps

"Yet you haven't dumped him?" Jackson says before taking a step back "I don't do this" he says "I don't screw up relationships and I don't fancy guys with a boyfriend"

"You fancy me?" Aaron asks, trying to keep the smile from his face.

Jackson gives him a look; it's a look that clearly says '_Are you stupid?'_

"I didn't know that" Aaron admits "I thought you might" he steps closer, reaching out wanting to touch him but Jackson side steps him "No Aaron!" he says adamantly "This will not happen until you're single"

Aaron throws his head back "It's hard!" he snaps "he was there for me when I was coming out"

"You've made your choice then, forget all about me and whatever this was"

Jackson walks out of the toilets leaving Aaron alone with his thoughts and feelings. He had no clue what to do. He wanted Jackson. He didn't want Flynn, hadn't for a long time but at the same time he didn't want to hurt him. What the hell was he going to do?

After five minutes and still no closer to making a decision Aaron left the toilets and headed back towards the pool table. He had a game of pool to play.

Adam who had been waiting on the two of them coming back notices that neither of them look that pleased. He really has to find out what's going on and it seemed as if this game of pool was going to be very interesting

"Set it up" Aaron demands standing at the bottom of the table glaring at the builder, Greg had lost as expected and it was his turn to play.

Xxx

To say the game of pool Aaron and Jackson played was the longest game of pool in history may have been a slight exaggeration but it was definitely in the running for it. Neither one of them were in the giving mood, neither one of them particularly wanted to win, they just didn't want to lose out to the other. Aaron only wanted to play Jackson, he had no interest in playing anyone else, well, maybe Adam but that was about it.

"Come on lads!" Adam says approaching the table "Will one of you hurry up and win, I'm not getting any younger"

Jackson smirked at the young farmer, he could tell he would quite like him if they ever had the chance to be friends "Tell your mate" Jackson says "I never lose"

"Aaron, come on man, you've been playing this for ages"

Aaron scowls; he didn't want to give up just like that. He knew he would probably lose, Jackson was the better player but he was sort of enjoying the time he spent at the table with the builder, if he was to give up now that time would quickly come to an end and he was pretty sure he didn't want that.

Just then, before anything else could be said Aaron's annoying ringtone started playing, his phone was in his pocket. He stopped what he was doing and pulled it from his pocket. It was Flynn. Jackson guessed it was Flynn by the way he looked at him and he could only look away, reality setting in.

"Flynn?" Adam asks, glancing at Jackson as he says so, maybe Jackson wasn't aware that Aaron had a boyfriend

"Yeah" Aaron says, rejecting the call and slipping it back into his pocket. He didn't want to talk to Flynn, he wanted to spend time with Jackson.

"What did you do that for?"

"Uh...cause I'm out?"

"Not like you're busy and he's your boyfriend"

"Stop being an old woman Adam, thought you only did that when you were with Scarlett? Your with Mia now, man up a bit, yeah?"

"Right" Jackson says clapping his hands together "let's finish this before I die of thirst"

"Adam will get us a round, won't you mate" at Aaron's look Adam knew better than to decline the suggestion and without a word he made his way towards the bar.

Within five minutes the game was finished and Jackson won "I let you win" Aaron tells him to which Jackson scoffs and rolls his eyes "as if!"

"This for me?" Jackson asks pointing at a pint on the table, Adam nods "cheers" turning towards his friends Jackson says "Someone else can have a go, I'm out. Too much for one night"

"Finally!" one of them states "about time!" another one tells him with a grin.

Jackson sits on the vacant stool next to Adam, as Aaron's phone rings again but then time he slips off to answer it but before Jackson can dwell on it Adam is talking to him

"How long you and Aaron known each other then?"

Jackson shrugs

"Funny he never mentioned you" Adam doesn't want to sound horrible, he's pretty sure he'd like the other guy if the circumstances were different. Jackson lifts his eyebrows, staring at Adam

"He's got a boyfriend"

"I'm aware of that, are you saying two gay guys can't be mates? Don't think Aaron would be too pleased about that"

"Mates don't look at each other the way you two were" He had him there, Jackson had to admit. He had been practically undressing Aaron with his eyes whilst they danced around the pool table and each other. He couldn't help it, he found the young mechanic attractive.

The rest of the night was pretty uneventful; they drank, talked and generally had a good time. Adam seemed to get along with everyone he met, not Aaron though, Aaron was extremely fussy about whom he spent his time with and he tried to keep it just to Jackson, Adam and Jackson's mate Peter. Peter wasn't as camp as the rest of Jackson's mates were proving themselves to be as they drank more and more.

Xxx

It was 1am and the bar was closing, people were making their way out hoping to catch a taxi quickly. It was raining heavily. Standing outside, smoking his cigarette Aaron took a deep breath. He hadn't had much time to get Jackson to himself. He needed to talk to the builder. Seeing his opportunity as the builder stepped outside of the bar. With a quick step to the left and a slight jog he had grabbed hold of Jackson's arm and pulled him around the side of the building before anyone would have or could have seen him.

"What are you doing?"

"I wanted to talk to you"

Jackson is trying hard to keep his sensible head on, his eyes are continually drawn to Aaron's mouth. He knows the younger lad is talking but it's not registering in his brain, he just thinks about kissing him. He wants to kiss him.

"Are you listening to me?" Aaron snaps, when it becomes clear that Jackson has spaced out and is in his own little world.

"Uh huh" Jackson replies, it's clear he's distracted and Aaron finally realises what's distracting him. He smirks to himself before leaning in, thinking he's going to get the kiss he has been longing for.

Their lips were millimetres apart; they could feel the other's breath of their lips when Jackson suddenly breathed out "Still got that boyfriend?" that brought Aaron back down to earth with a bang and he took a step back, glaring at the older man.

"That's a yes then" Jackson replies, suddenly a lot sober than he had been, he was putting it down to the fresh air "What do you want?"

"When am I going to see you again?" Aaron feels like a kid, who's about to lose his favourite toy. He wanted to see Jackson every day; he wanted to play with Jackson. In ways which would not resemble a kid, at all.

"We can't do this Aaron"

"Why not?"

"We both know where it's going" he says, he feels like he's replaying their conversation from the toilets all over again.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, if you didn't have a boyfriend. I'm not about to do that. It's not me. I'm not a fling and I don't see guys with boyfriends"

Aaron's frowns, he doesn't like the sound of this "So can we meet here tomorrow night? Well later today, tonight?"

"No Aaron" Jackson states "We can't. You're boyfriend will be back tomorrow, forget about me and focus on him yeah?"

With that said Jackson pushes Aaron out of the way and turns the corner to find his friends and go home. He needed his bed, it had been a long night.

Adam who had been outside looking for Aaron spots Jackson rounding the corner just as one of his mates yells "Jackson! Hurry up!" and the older man disappears in a taxi. Adam puts two and two together and rounds the corner to find a dejected Aaron standing in the middle of the alleyway looking lost.

"Alright mate?"

Clearing his throat and trying to act natural Aaron nods "Yeah, let's get the bus"

"It'll have to be a taxi mate, too late to catch a bus"

Aaron nods and they head towards the taxi rank. Adam watching him the entire time "What's going on between you and that Jackson guy?"

"Nothing" it was an honest answer, nothing was going on and nothing was going to go on.

"But you want to?"

"Just shut up and get in the taxi Adam"

Xxx

_2 weeks later _

It had been two weeks since he had last seen Jackson, two weeks where he had thought about the builder every day. Two weeks in which he stared at the number in his phone and wanted to send a text or ring but he didn't because the fact still stood, he had a boyfriend. Boyfriend, it was a joke really, yeah he was his boyfriend but ever since Flynn had gotten back from his course Aaron could barely stand to be around him. They hadn't had sex, the most they had done was kiss and it was always Flynn that instigated them, whilst trying to get more from the mechanic but Aaron wasn't having it. Flynn didn't do anything for him, at least not anymore. He continually compared him to the builder, it wasn't fair and he knew he should do the right thing but every time he tried Flynn would give him this look. A look like Clyde gives him when he wants his own way and he would chicken out of telling him. It was driving him insane.

Flynn had tried to drag him to Bar West on numerous occasions too but he couldn't go there. He couldn't risk seeing Jackson with another guy, kissing another guy when he had never even got that close. He wasn't sure what he would do if he were to see that. He had to man up and dump Flynn, he knew that but just how did he do it?

"Wanting anything from the cafe?" Ryan's voice penetrates his thoughts. He was lost in his own word "No thanks" he tells his mate "well, just a coffee will do"

It was a slow day in the garage, only him and Ryan were in, that suited him it meant he didn't have to put up with listening to Cain go on about Charity.

He was pretty sure he was imagining things but he was sure that a blue van, with the words 'JACKSON WALSH' on the side pulled up beside the house next to the garage. His heart was thundering in his chest. Could it be? Why would he be in the village? Sure enough, a couple of seconds later out jumped Jackson from the van as Declan Macey walked out of Dale Head. He couldn't hear what was being said but it wasn't hard to guess. Jackson was a builder and Declan had just bought the run down heap that was Dale Head. _Great _he thought _just what I need, him working next door to where I work every day. _

He was on edge after that, waiting on him reappearing. He had even taken to washing the cars just so he could keep an eye out for him. It turned out he didn't have to though, Jackson came to him.

"Alright?" he heard the familiar voice ask

"Yeah, you?"

Jackson nods, looking around "so this is where you work"

"Yeah"

"I work there" he says pointing at Dale Head "Well as of tomorrow, don't mind do you?"

"Why would I mind?"

"Just checking"

"How's Flynn?"

Aaron's scowls at the question, why the hell was Jackson asking about him "Fine" he answers "still seeing him then?"

"Yeah"

"Good" Jackson nods, suddenly trying to decide the quickest route away from the mechanic but his stuttering stops him "What...ar...did you" angry at himself Aaron stops talking, takes a deep breath then asks "Are you seeing anyone?"

"What's that got to do with you?"

Aaron glares and Jackson relents and answers "No, no I'm not"

Unheard by them Ryan creeps up behind them "Not going to introduce me to your friend Aaron?"

"Ryan Jackson, Jackson Ryan" he says waving his hand around "He's working for Declan"

"Oh right, you a builder then?"

"Yeah" Jackson grins "Need any work doing"

"Haha! No" Ryan says with a frown "I'm a grown man renting a house of Declan, so even if I did, you'd still be working for him"

Jackson smiles at the man "Nice to meet you" he says extending his hand to shake Ryan's "I'm going to be here for a while, might as well make friends eh?"

"Yeah" Ryan agrees "don't want to just have to talk to Aaron here" he nudges the teenager "no chat this one"

"Don't you have a car to fix?" Aaron barks at him, Ryan smirks "I do actually, nice seeing you Jackson"

They're left to stare at each other again, both silent, both waiting on the other being the first one to make a move.

"I better get going"

"When do you start?" Aaron calls out, needing to know when his nightmare is going to begin "tomorrow morning"

Xxx

For two weeks Jackson had been unable to get the young mechanic off of his mind. They'd only known each other a small amount of time but Jackson knew. He just knew that he wouldn't be able to get Aaron out of his system until they had at least tried to give it a go. He felt sorry for the boyfriend but it was clear to him that Aaron didn't want to be with him and he couldn't dump him because he felt guilty. He'd been there; he knew what it felt like. He'd wait, he wouldn't wait forever thought but for a few weeks he could wait and then if nothing changes he'll move on, find someone else and try his hardest to put the blue eyed mechanic out of his head.

_Easy _he told himself even although he knew it would be far from easy. Every time he was in Bar West he prayed to see Aaron walk through the door, even if he was with Flynn, he just wanted to catch a glimpse of him, to see he was still alive but he hadn't in two weeks. He had seen Flynn though, he'd come into the bar with another guy and for a second he'd thought Aaron had dumped him but as he was waiting to be served at the bar he'd heard Flynn complaining about how Aaron didn't want to come out and how he was being a moody git. It turned out they were still together.

When he'd got the call about a job in Emmerdale he'd been a little apprehensive. Should he take it? He didn't know, it was a job but it was a job that just happened to be in the very same village where Aaron lived and worked. Was it a coincidence or fate trying to tell him something? He wasn't sure but he knew, no matter what he tried to tell himself he would be taking the job because it meant he would get to see Aaron. He'd called Declan Macey back and asked when he wanted to meet him, turned out it was the next again day.

Pulling up outside of the house, with the directions given to him he was perplexed to realise that the garage, that Aaron presumably worked in because with a tiny little village like this one he doubted them having two garages, was right next door to where he was working. He would see Aaron every single day; he wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Xxx

That night Aaron found himself lying flat out on his bed staring at the ceiling. What was he going to do? He couldn't work next to Jackson without talking to him, without wanting him. He'd already bitten Flynn's head off when he suggested they go to the Woolpack and he'd sent him home. He'd sent him home so he could mope around his bedroom, thinking about Jackson. It was his daily routine only tonight it was different because tonight he knew the next day he would see Jackson and every day after that.

He wasn't sure he would be able to hide his attraction to the builder. If he was honest, he knew he wouldn't be able to hide it, Adam noticed it and he was pretty sure Flynn had noticed that day in Bar West all those weeks ago. Yeah, there was no hiding that he fancied the builder.

There was a knock on his door and he hoped it wasn't Flynn or Adam "who is?"

"Me" came Paddy's voice filtering through the door. Paddy, maybe he could talk to him? Could he? He wasn't very good at sharing his feelings but he needed to talk to someone that was clear to him. He needed advice "come in"

Two seconds later the door opened and Paddy perched himself on the end of the bed, staring at the mechanic with a worried look on his face "I'm alright" the mechanic says trying to ease his worries.

"You and Flynn?" Paddy says "Is that alright?"

It takes a while but Aaron eventually works up the courage to shake his head. No, things definitely weren't alright between him and Flynn.

"I thought so" the vet admits "what's up?"

"I... I've met someone"

Paddy's eyes widen and he looks like a deer caught in headlights, Aaron smiles tightly and his head bobs up and down a couple of times, waiting a verbal response.

"When? How? Who?" Paddy had a million questions and had no idea where to start or which one to start with.

"A guy" Aaron replies with a small smirk that has Paddy rolling his eyes "Obviously, what about Flynn?"

"I don't wanna be with Flynn Paddy"

"Have you told him this?"

Aaron merely shakes his head

"That's why you've been moody the past few weeks, right?"

Aaron nods

"What's suddenly brought you to moping about in your room"

"This guy" Aaron says "He's...he's got a job in the village"

"Doing what?"

"He's a builder, he's doing up Declan's place"

"Did he get this job to be closer to you?"

Aaron opens his mouth to reply and quickly closes it, that fact had occurred to him yet. Had Jackson taken the job knowing that he would more than likely see him every day?

"I don't know... I don't think so. He hasn't spoken to me in weeks. Told me nothing would happen whilst I still had Flynn"

"Sounds like an intelligent guy" Paddy says with a nod "if you really don't want to be with Flynn you have to tell him, or get over this other guy"

Get over him? What did Paddy think he'd been trying to do? It didn't work. He avoided Bar West because he knew if he were to see Jackson with someone else that he would probably say something he wouldn't regret. He didn't want to imagine the older man moving on; he knew he had to do something. Jackson working in the village was just going to have to speed him up, he'd have to end things with Flynn now, there was no other choice.

"I have to tell Flynn it's over" Aaron says, finally making a decision. He wasn't going to pass up the chance of being happy with Jackson to stay with Flynn who made him miserable.

Xxx

Twenty minutes later he found himself sat outside Flynn's place in Paddy's car. He was trying to work up the courage to go inside, to tell the lad they were over. It was quite possibly the hardest thing he had ever done. He'd never dumped anyone before; it would be a new experience for him.

Forcing himself out of the car before anyone noticed he climbed the steps to his front door, after a couple of knocks it was answered by Flynn's Mother.

"Aaron, hi" she says with a grin "Looking for Flynn?"

Aaron nods

"Up in his room, go up. He'll be happy to see you; he's been a right grump since he got back from college"

_What I'm about to say isn't going to make him any happier _Aaron thought to himself as he climbed the stairs that led to the boy's bedroom.

Aaron doesn't knock; he just opens the door and walks in. Flynn is on his bed, his earphones are in and his eyes are closed. Aaron wishes they were awake but just as the thought runs through his mind Flynn's eyes snap open and a grin spreads across his face.

"Aaron!" he says happily, sitting up, reaching for him only for Aaron to side step his advances. With a serious look on his face Aaron says "We need to talk" and sits himself down on the chair by Flynn's computer. From the look on Flynn's face Aaron can tell he knows what's coming.

It's over two hours later when Aaron finally leaves Flynn's. The teenager had cried, asked why, asked how he could make things better. Aaron had felt bad, really bad but he just couldn't keep up the pretence that he was happy, not anymore. Then, then he had asked the dreaded question 'Is there someone else' the question had almost made him choke. Yes, there was someone else but he wasn't about to admit that, so instead he shook his head and said "No". He was sure that made Flynn feel better; he hoped it would at least. He'd left with them agreeing to be friends but Aaron knew they would barely ever see each other again. Maybe the odd occasion at Bar West, that was after all where they had met but apart from that they didn't hang around the same places. They wouldn't see each other all that often. Now though, all he had to do was figure out what to do about Jackson, he had said he was single. Was it right to jump out of one relationship and start dating someone else the next again day? Even if said relationship had been dead for weeks? He didn't think so but, it wasn't going to stop him. If Jackson agreed if Jackson wanted him then they'd give it a go.

Xxx

The next morning he was sat outside Dale Head waiting on Jackson pulling up. Cain wasn't in again so he'd told Ryan he had to talk to Jackson about something. Ryan hadn't cared, as long as he showed face at some point Ryan would cover for him.

It was just after nine when Jackson pulled into Emmerdale. As he approached Dale Head he could see someone sitting on the doorstep, at first the thought it was the owner, Declan Macey but the closer he got, he realised it wasn't Declan. He killed the engine and hopped out of the van "Aaron what are you doing?"

"Waiting"

"On what?"

"You obviously" the mechanic replies rolling his eyes at the stupid question, who else would he be waiting on?

"Why?"

"Wondered if you fancied a pint"

Jackson was confused, why was Aaron inviting him out? He'd told him "A pint? Just a drink?"

Aaron shrugs, suddenly nervous. He'd never actually asked anyone out before, not a guy anyway "Well" he clears his throat "More like a... date?"

"What about Flynn?"

"Flynn who?" Aaron replies, it was cruel but he wanted to get his point across "it's over?"

A nod was all it took to confirm the question for the builder.

"So are you up for that pint?"

Jackson stares at him for the longest time before answering "Sure, Bar West?"

Aaron thinks it through for a little while before deciding that he didn't want to go to Bar West. Bar West was hiding them from other people, he wasn't into hiding all that much anymore "No, Woolpack?"

"In front of the whole village? They'll be talk"

Aaron steps closer to the builder "let them talk, I couldn't care what other people think" He thinks about kissing him, in fact he _aches _to kiss him but he won't, not yet anyway.

"Great" Jackson nods "I'll see you there about seven?"

"Can't wait" Aaron says with a smirk before disappearing back around the corner to the garage. Jackson watches him go, a small smile playing on his lips, turns out accepting this job was worth it after all.

Xxx

At 7:05 Aaron is stood on the steps of the Woolpack waiting on the builder, he's convinced he's not going to show, just as bus pulls up and out of it steps Jackson. His heart rate returns to normal a little that is until Jackson makes his way towards him, then his heart starts pounding against his rib cage.

"Sorry" Jackson says when he gets to his "Turns out buses to the sticks are few and far between"

"It's alright, knew you'd turn up"

"Weren't thinking I'd changed my mind?"

"Look at me" Aaron says with a smirk "Why would you change your mind?"

Jackson grins, he likes this Aaron. He knows he has a lot more of Aaron to get to know but he can't wait. Deciding to get it out of the way, get it over with, the builder steps forward, cups the side of Aaron's face and kisses him. He kisses him for all he's worth, and before it can go any further, before either of them can deepen it he pulls away. Aaron is looking at him, the question brimming in his eyes, _what was that for?_

"Thought it best we get it over with" Jackson admits "It's been a long time coming"

Aaron nods, completely agreeing with that, it had been a long time coming for the both of them.

"Buying me that pint then?"

With that the two of them head inside the Woolpack. Aaron knows it's going to be busy, it's going to be packed but he's not hiding Jackson. He's not ashamed and no one was going to make him feel that way. Yeah, he and Flynn had just broken up but you know when something is right and when it isn't and with Jackson Aaron felt right.

Xxx

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW! :)


	5. Numb

**Numb**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Enjoy. Last update from me for at least a week! I'm away to have...fun? Maybe an argument or two. Anyway, enjoy! :)_

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><p>He'd asked him to stay; he said he wanted one last night with him. Like he would say no? He couldn't say no. He couldn't have gone home, to Smithy got into the bed that they once shared and closed his eyes. It couldn't have happened. Where else would he have been apart from right next to him all night? Praying for some miracle that Jackson would either wake up being able to walk or change his mind. That's what he wanted. He wasn't the praying type but by god he prayed for a miracle every single day but his prayers were never answered and Jackson was determined he couldn't live his life being paralysed. It wasn't him, to Aaron he was the same, to Aaron he was just Jackson but to Jackson he was just trapped in a never moving body. He didn't want to help him because he didn't want to lose him but if Jackson needed him, he'd be there. He didn't want him suffering and he could see, looking into those brown eyes that were once so full of life, he could see only pain, hurt and sadness. Jackson wanted out and it was up to him and Hazel to help him find peace.<p>

Hazel had been distraught after finding out that Jackson planned to end his life the next again day. She'd taken herself up the stairs, to her bedroom and didn't appear back downstairs again for another few hours.

Aaron was left alone with Jackson, he'd tried making small talk, tried to make Aaron laugh but he couldn't laugh. What was there to laugh about? He just felt numb, he felt as if he was outside of his body looking in, watching it all happening from a different prospective and for a second he wondered if that was how Jackson felt each and everyday

"Put a film on eh?" Jackson had asked after the silence had become to much. Without a word he stood, grabbed Jackson's favourite DVD from the rack and put in the player. If it was Jackson's last night they were going to do whatever would make the man happiest, watching his favourite film was bound to do that.

"Do you think I should see if she's alright?"

Jackson turned his head, straining to see if he could hear his Mother but he couldn't. She needed time alone "No" he says "She'll come down once she's sorted"

Aaron nods and without a word he walks into the other room and brings back the cans he had bought earlier. He'd been expecting this. He'd hoped he was wrong but after Jackson had said about wanting to have the get together in the Woolpack he'd known, deep down he'd known. He knows Jackson, he knows Jackson better than he knows himself.

Walking back into the room Aaron looks at the chair by the bed and then the bed. He didn't want to sit on that chair. If this was his last time with Jackson he wanted to be as close to him as possible. Making his way towards the best he dropped the two cans at the side, before moving Jackson over slightly so he could fit himself in. Jackson never said a word, just watched as he moved him, a small smile playing on his lips "don't mind if I sleep here do you?"

Jackson shook his head. He didn't mind, he didn't mind one little bit. He wanted to be as close to the mechanic as he possibly could, his only wish would be to feel it but he knew that wasn't going to happen. That's why they were in this mess, that's why Aaron looked terrified and his Mum was up in her room crying her eyes out. All because of him. He hated himself, he had no idea how the two people he loved most in his life could still love the thing he had become.

They lay there, watching Jackson favourite film. Aaron wishing the morning wouldn't come and Jackson wishing it would come quicker. It was a far cry from how they had been last year, Jackson wished they could go back to fighting in Smithy, arguing about everything and Aaron wishes he had never gotten out of that van.

Needing more contact Aaron turned, pressing his lips against Jackson's. He had planned on it being a simple and sweet kiss but with the thoughts swirling in his head, thoughts that after tomorrow he would never get to kiss him again it turned passionate and he was cupping Jackson's cheek and sliding his tongue into the other man's mouth as quickly as possible. He couldn't get enough, he'd never get enough.

Eventually they broke apart though, neither of them speaking as they regained control of their breathing, nothing had to be said. They knew they had to make the most of their time together and Aaron knew he would be kissing him again, more than once before the sun was up. He had to; he had to imprint every single memory he had into his brain.

After minutes, maybe hours of more silence and still no sign of Hazel Jackson asks "Will you watch her? She'll need you"

Aaron turns to him, looks him dead in the eye and nods, he didn't trust his voice to speak, he couldn't speak. If he attempted to answer him verbally he would choke on the tears and cry. He didn't want to cry, he wanted to be strong for him, for Jackson.

He kissed him again and for the next few hours that's how they stayed, pressed against each other. Well Aaron pressed against Jackson even although he couldn't feel it, Aaron could. Aaron needed to remember how it felt. They kissed; short kisses, long kisses, passionate and tender, and they kissed until they couldn't breathe and started again once they had enough breath. They were making the most of the time they had left together and Jackson wished they could make love to seal it but they couldn't and he tried not to dwell on it.

All too soon though Jackson succumbed to sleep and Aaron was left alone, awake and watching him. He could watch him all night, he had done before. How much he loved him surprised him still, why couldn't he have known how he felt in October? His feelings hadn't changed, not really, maybe he loved him more but now, now he knew that way back in October, on that road he had loved him. Why hadn't he known? If he had known they wouldn't be in this mess.

He had no idea what time it was, he was still feeling numb, still feeling as if he was watching everything happen and he wasn't really in his body. It was a strange feeling. He felt Jackson's body burn up, his head tossing and turning. He was dreaming, obviously having a nightmare. It could only be about one thing, what lay ahead. Slipping from the bed Aaron took root in the chair by the bed. He had no clue what time it was still and he planned on sitting there watching the man he loved sleep, wishing it wasn't for the last time. Jackson was scared, clearly, he was too. He hoped Jackson wouldn't go through with it but he knew he would. He would do as Jackson asked though, he would watch out for Hazel, he'd protect her. Someone would have to, Jackson wasn't there to do it and he'd do anything for the other man, anything.

Xxx

A/N - Do you want number 6? Let me know! Reviews make me happy! :)


	6. Funeral

**Funeral**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - So, it's short and it's kinda depressing but I can't help it. I'm going to blame Randompast for the morbidness of this one. It's his fault! Sorry! :) I need to blame someone._

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><p>The fact he was sat in a cold, damp, dark cell didn't bother him. He'd been there before and more than likely he'd end up here again, one way or another. No, what bothered him what was he was missing. <em>"Nothing's gonna stop me being there" <em>he could remember saying those words to Hazel not that long ago and now? Now it looked like he was going to miss it. He had no idea how he was going to handle that.

Since that day, that day when he helped Jackson die all he'd wanted was Jackson's body to handed back to them, he wanted to do everything Jackson wanted. Jackson had left a plan of his he wanted his funeral to go and Aaron had followed it to the letter, apart from Ashley obviously but that was a different matter. Jackson's funeral was planned, he'd planned it all, knowing that Hazel wouldn't be up to it. If he was honest with himself he wasn't up to it either, not really but focusing on the funeral helped take his mind off of other things. It stopped him missing Jackson if only for a little while.

He didn't get much sleep, actually he didn't sleep at all. He lay down on that cold hard thing that they call a bed and stared at the wall. He stared at it so long he could have sworn he saw Jackson's face but then, he was seeing that everywhere. Wishful thinking, he missed him, _oh_ how he missed him. How could anyone think he murdered him? He hadn't wanted him to die, he'd begged him to change his mind but in the end he knew. He knew that even if Jackson agreed to keep living that he wouldn't be happy. He no longer had that spark in his eye that Aaron loved, Jackson, his Jackson was slowly dying and he couldn't watch it. He helped him, the only way he could at that moment. He didn't want to go to prison, of course he didn't but if it meant Jackson was free that somewhere, somehow he was happy then he'd go because that's all he wanted in the end, Jackson to be happy and he helped him get there the only way he could.

The funeral was at eleven thirty, at eleven thirty he was sat in the holding cells of the court waiting to be called. He had no idea if he would get bail or not, he prayed he would. He needed to get to that grave, he needed to get to that funeral. He knew his chances of getting to the funeral were futile and he couldn't help the stab he felt in his heart. Who would carry Jackson in his place? His absence would please Jerry. He wanted to be there for Hazel, without him she had no one, he promised Jackson. He was breaking one of the last promises he ever made to his boyfriend, all because of the stupid police. He hated them. Why couldn't they have waited until after the funeral? If they had he would gladly have slept in the damp, dark cell all weekend, he just didn't want to miss that funeral, yet here he was, missing it.

He was sure they were doing it deliberately; guys that had been brought in after him were being called up first. Finally, at twelve they called his name and he climbed the stairs to the dock. At precisely 12:33pm Aaron walked out of the court, he had been released on bail and told not to contact the witnesses which included Hazel. He couldn't do that, he wouldn't do that. Hazel needed him, he needed her. She was all he had left of Jackson, apart from pictures and memories of course but an actual physical link, she was it.

The moment he left the court he knew where he was going, there was only one place he wanted to be. With Jackson, after a quick stop at a shop, to pick up a couple of cans he continued his journey back to Emmerdale.

Back in the village he didn't want to see anyone, after getting off of the bus and checking no one was around to see him he took the back way to the cemetery, ensuring no one could see him. He may have missed the funeral, missed Jackson's video message but he could say goodbye, only this time it would be a private goodbye, just between him and Jackson, maybe it was better this way. At least alone, he could cry and not care who was around to see him because no one would be.

Xxx

Review please or I'll cry. Do you want to make a girl cry? Didn't think so.


	7. Beautiful

**Beautiful **

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - A happy fic! For a change from me! Surprisingly, this fic is comes straight out of my head, I haven't stolen it from anyone else. I hear that's rare these days for some fics. Enjoy! _

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><p>"You've what?"<p>

It's 6pm and Aaron had been home from work for exactly forty five minutes, Jackson was just through the door as well and he couldn't wait to get over to the Woolpack, he needed a drink.

"I've told Paddy and Rhona that we'll babysit"

Aaron continues to stare at his boyfriend as if he's sprouted another head, his mouth opening and closing more than once. Aaron was sure he was hearing things; Jackson couldn't have done that to him, right?

"You're joking right?"

Jackson shakes his head, he was deadly serious, they deserved a night out and they were going to babysit, they'd done it before, ok not for long but Jackson was sure it couldn't be that hard to look after a baby.

"Jackson!" Aaron whines, rolling his eyes and slumping back against the door frame in the kitchen "Why would you do that?"

"They needed a night off Aaron, you've heard them arguing. I was trying to be nice"

That was Jackson's problem, he was always far too nice. Aaron hated it most time, especially when it interfered with his plans for the two of them.

"Yeah but...why can't Marlon have him? It's his kid"

Jackson sighs heavily before stepping closer to his boyfriend "It's done, we're doing it. Get used to it"

Aaron glares "I could just leave you here, let you babysit the kid"

"You could" Jackson counters "but then you wouldn't get any from me for a long time and well...we both know you'd go crazy"

Aaron scowls, the builder always resorted to dirty tactics to get his own way and Aaron always gave in but in truth he'd give in either way. Either way it still meant he got to spend time with him and only this way it meant they had the whole house, practically, to themselves. He was starting to like the idea more and more. His thoughts must have been clear to see on his face because Jackson said "Uh...no"

"What?"

"What you're thinking, it's not happening, at least not until they come back from their night out"

"He's a baby, he won't know and he'll be asleep"

"And if he wakes up?"

"We'll deal with that then"

Just looking at his boyfriend Aaron knows he's not going to get his own way, he might get the odd kiss on the couch but he was unlikely to get much more than that. It turns out his Friday night was not going to go the way he planned.

"Now" Jackson says, stepping forward, dropping a quick kiss onto Aaron's waiting lips "I'm going to shower, make me a sandwich or something yeah?"

"I'm not your Mother" Aaron calls out as Jackson climbs the stairs two at a time "No" Jackson retorts "You scared her away"

Aaron laughs out loud and shakes his head. He can't believe sometimes that they're still together. After everything that happened, they'd had a rough time, especially before Christmas but they were good now, that was proven by the fact that Jackson agreed to move back into Smithy and Aaron couldn't have been happier about that, he hated only sharing a bed with him a few nights a week.

He finds himself doing as Jackson asked though and making him a sandwich, he had become very domesticated lately, it almost scared him but he guessed it was just what people in real relationships did and that's what he and Jackson had, a real relationship.

Jackson's sandwich is made, sitting on the counter top and he's sat at the table with a can in hand when Paddy comes in "Alright"

"Paddy"

"Thanks for this" he says "Rhona is excited"

Aaron nods "Thank Jackson, he offered"

"Oh" Paddy says turning, noticing the look on Aaron's face "Do you not want to then?" Noticing the worried look on Paddy's face Aaron is quick to put his worries at ease "No, no. I'm fine. He just forget to tell me until about ten minutes ago, Victoria wanted me for something but it's cool, she can wait until tomorrow"

"Alright" Paddy nods "as long as you're sure"

"We are!" Jackson says joining the conversation and entering the kitchen. Aaron turns to him, his jaw literally dropping at the sight of him. He was dressed in just a loose pair of shorts, no top, water still running down his chest and his hair still soaked "did you forget something?" Aaron asks, struggling to take his eyes off the builder and in the end giving up trying because he knows he's unlikely to be able to do it.

"No" Jackson answers "aww!" he says with a huge grin "You made me a sandwich"

"Yeah" Aaron answers "don't say I never do anything for you"

Jackson pulls a face before turning to Paddy "Where are you and Rhona off to then?"

"Cinema then for something to eat, if that's alright?"

"Yeah, take your time. We can handle it" then after a minute Jackson adds "Well, I can handle it, I put up with him" he points at Aaron "and he's a bigger kid than Leo"

Aaron pulls a face, mimicking the builder whilst shooting him a dirty look "I'm good with kids"

"I hate them" Aaron states

"You love Leo!" Jackson reminds him "I've seen you, all over him"

Aaron pulls a face at that, he thought he was being subtle about it. He did like the kid but he didn't want that getting out, he did after all have a reputation to worry about, it was hard enough keeping it up with him being gay, if folk found out he quite liked kids? He'd never live it down. At Aaron's silence Jackson grins triumphantly and says "That shut you up"

"I'll shut you up in a minute" Aaron warns

"Not with Paddy in the room you won't. You're not that much of an exhibitionist...yet"

"Boys" Paddy says rolling his eyes, they were hard work sometimes and their arguments were always intense but he was glad Jackson was back living in Smithy. He'd missed the builder and since he had moved back Aaron had been much happier. A happy Aaron equalled a less aggressive, less moody Aaron which made everyone happy.

Aaron turns to the guy that's like a Father to him and grins "We're good Paddy, no need to worry"

"I'm not worried" Paddy informs him "Just interfering before you two start bickering and we don't get out"

Jackson grins and sits down to eat his sandwich as Rhona comes down the stairs, sounding excited "Right, let's go, let's go"

Jackson grins at her, he, unlike Aaron gets along famously with Paddy's other half, she and Aaron always tended to butt heads and it was left to Jackson and Paddy to intervene and stop the two of them killing each other "Have a good night" Jackson tells her "We've got it all covered"

Xxx

With Leo asleep in his crib the two of them lounged out on the sofa, waiting for the inevitable time when he would wake up and scream his little lungs out. Aaron dreaded that time coming, he was fully planning on Jackson being the one to deal with that.

Aaron was had sat himself between Jackson's legs on the sofa, leaning back against his naked chest. It was comfortable; he was comfortable, so comfortable in fact that he felt like he could sleep. Jackson must have guessed this because he says "Don't go falling asleep on me"

"I had a hard day at work" Aaron argues, his hands sliding up and down Jackson's thighs "and none of that" the builder warns.

"I can't even touch you?" the mechanic complains, there was no one in, no one that was likely to catch them during a heavy make out session. Leo was the only other person in the house and he was in his crib and he couldn't walk or talk.

Jackson groans, why did Aaron have to do these things to him? He didn't know "Aaron, not with the baby feet away, we'll never hear him"

"Yeah we will"

"You make a lot of noise"

"I'll be quiet" the mechanic assures him, turning around so his t-shirt clad chest is pressed tight against Jackson's naked one. His lips and tongue kissing the sensitive skin of Jackson's neck, he didn't care if Jackson complained because he wasn't stopping.

"Aaron..." Jackson is ignored, he fully expected for the mechanic to ignore him though, he would just have to try harder to get the mechanic off of him. It was their first time babysitting; he wasn't going to maybe do something wrong by losing himself in his boyfriend, not with a 5 month old baby laying in its crib not six feet away.

"Stop it now" he says, using practically all of his strength to lift the mechanic off of him, it was a struggle because Aaron clearly didn't want to stop. "You're no fun" Aaron points out "I had a fun night planned for us, full of...interesting things"

"Well, we can do them tomorrow, its not like we're working. You can have me all to yourself"

"Maybe I'm busy"

"With who Adam?"

Aaron shrugs

"He won't sleep with you" then with a smirk Jackson adds "no matter how many times you try to kiss him"

"Dick!" Aaron says roughly shoving at the mechanic's shoulder as he turns back around, once again fitting himself between Jackson's legs and using him to lean on.

"If I'm a dick you won't want to lay on me then, will you?"

"You're a comfy dick" Aaron says with a smile, reaching down to grab his beer can again, settling his eyes on the crap film Jackson had chosen for them to watch.

Xxx

Forty five minutes they managed, forty five minutes where they lay in each other's arms, watching the TV without one interruption and Aaron quite liked the way Jackson's hands were running through his hair and massaging his scalp. He knew it wouldn't last though, he just knew it and soon enough, there was a knock at the front door.

"You get it"

"No, you, you're the one laying on me"

With a groan Aaron pushes himself up and throws Jackson a dirty look before heading towards the door. Jackson merely rolls his eyes and takes the opportunity to check on Leo. He's still fast asleep in his crib, Jackson is sure he'd never slept as long as he currently had for Rhona and Paddy, maybe he liked them better.

He sees who it is through the glass before he opens the door, it's Victoria. She had asked him if he would be in the pub, apparently she had something she had to ask him "You stood me up" she accuses him and without waiting on an invitation she steps into the house and plonks herself down on one of the chairs by the table. She looks around "Where's Jackson?" Aaron still hasn't closed the front door; he's just staring at her "Come in why don't you"

"I did, thanks" she replies sarcastically "Jackson's in the living room" Aaron informs her, finally closing the door and walking back into the kitchen. He leans back against the kitchen counter, staring at the younger girl, arms crossed "Well, what do you want me for?"

"Alex" she says pulling a face and Aaron's eyes widen "What the hell do you want to talk to me about that muppet for?"

She glares at him for the use of the word 'muppet' but Aaron merely shrugs and says "he is" brushing it off Victoria says "well you're a guy"

"Cheers for noticing"

"And well...you date guys, you know what they're like"

He was in shock, did she really want to be asking him for advice on guys? He wasn't into that crap "You what? What makes you think I'll know anything?"

"You're gay" she says as if that explains everything.

"Yeah, I'm not a chick, I don't do girl talk" he explains to her "It's not girl talk!" she snaps "It's boy talk, you know what guys are like when they like someone"

Aaron covers his face with his hands and groans. He so didn't want to have this conversation, he was pretty sure he wouldn't be any help whatsoever.

"Who is it?" Jackson calls from the living

"Just me" Victoria replies happily "just here asking Aaron's advice"

They both hear Jackson chuckle to himself and mumble 'good luck' Aaron wants to be annoyed by it but he can't be. He knows it's the truth; he's unlikely to be any help to the girl.

He sits down opposite her and shrugs "What do you want to know?" Victoria proceeds to tell him all about her relationship with Alex and all about his flirting, by the time she has finished telling him his eyes have gone wide and he's looking at her with a blank expression. He had no clue what to say to her, he felt like saying "Dump him, he's a flirt" but he guessed that wasn't the kind of advice she was after. After a moment or two of her staring at him expectantly he decides he can't deal with it and that Jackson would be best suited to fixing this problem.

"Jackson!"

Victoria looks at him "What you shouting on him for" she asks just as Jackson walks into the kitchen, still wearing the loose shorts from earlier. Aaron doesn't miss the way her mouth drops open as she blantantly eyes up his boyfriend. He pulls a face, it's not a disgusted or annoyed face, it's just a face.

"Eyes this way Victoria" he says, hoping to embarrass her. It works, because she goes red and when she finally looks at him if looks could kill he would be dead.

"Jackson is great with these problems, talks to his mates about them all the time at Bar West, trust me. I have to listen to it, he'll sort it for you!" he stands up and guides Jackson towards one of the chairs, patting his shoulders once he's sitting he says "You'll sort it won't you?"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Some mate you are"

"Hey!" Aaron complains "If she ever needs a car fixed, I'm her man"

Xxx

Just over an hour later and Jackson had given Victoria advice, advice she seemed more than happy with. Aaron knew Jackson was the man for the job; he was always doing stupid stuff like that with his mates. Aaron hated it but he didn't hate Jackson thankfully.

They had been sat talking and laughing about general topics when Leo decided to open his lungs and scream for all he was worth. The two boys looked at each other "You go" they said simultaneously but Aaron is quick to pull a face and say "You are the one that offered to babysit, off you pop"

Jackson scowls but eventually moves from the table into the living room.

"What?" Aaron asks at Victoria's look but she laughs and says "What does he see in you?"

With a smirk the mechanic replies "You really don't wanna know"

The crying stops but neither Victoria or Aaron are paying attention by that time, they're too busy throwing insults at each other and talking about Adam, whose affair with Ella had just been ousted. Victoria wasn't impressed that Aaron and Jackson knew, she wondered why he'd never told her.

"Jackson wasn't happy when I told him" he tells her "He's Declan's mate"

"And he knew all the time?"

Aaron nods but quickly says "You tell anyone and I'll kill you"

"Promise I won't tell a soul" she says holding her hands up. Suddenly her face scrunches up in confusion and she says "Where is Jackson?"

She has a point, the baby had stopped crying ages ago and Jackson still hadn't come back through from the living room, there was no sound whatsoever coming from that direction. Getting to his feet, Victoria followed him, almost colliding with his back as he stopped suddenly.

"What is it?" Victoria asks, pushing him out of the way only to stop dead too when she sees what Aaron can see. A grin quickly spreads over her face, she had never seen anything as cute as that in her entire life.

Jackson was fast asleep on the couch with Leo cradled against his chest, both of them asleep. It was too cute for words.

Aaron was standing as if he was frozen to the spot. He couldn't tear his eyes away, it had to be wrong that the sight of his boyfriend with the baby was turning him on right? He had never really looked at Jackson but cradling that baby Aaron could, for the first time, see how beautiful his boyfriend truly was. He was perfect; Leo clearly knew which is why he was so comfortable on the other man's chest. It was a beautiful sight, one he was sure he would never forget.

"I better get going" Victoria says, sensing that she should make herself scarce because Aaron looked like he wanted to rip Jackson's clothes off.

"Yeah, yeah" Aaron answers, somewhat distracted and it's only when he hears the door closing that he gets himself into gear. Moving quickly but quietly he crosses the distance between himself and the sofa, quietly scooping a sleeping Leo up from Jackson's chest. He hoped not to disturb the sleeping builder but apparently it wasn't to be.

"Sorry" Jackson says rubbing at his eyes "Didn't mean to fall asleep"

Once Leo was safely back inside his crib Jackson didn't get a chance to say anything else because Aaron practically leapt on him, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss as his hands worked at the shorts. Jackson was beautiful and right now, Aaron was going to show him just how much he loved him. He couldn't say the words yet, he wasn't sure if it was love but he was pretty sure it was.

No matter what it was, Aaron just couldn't let the moment pass them by.

* * *

><p>AN - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT MORE HAPPY ONES? YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!


	8. I'm Here

**I'm Here**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Number 8! I think it's happy, I'm not too sure. Tell me what you think though please! Thank you! :)_

* * *

><p>He'd been at work when he'd first taken the call. He was in the middle of a big job for Declan, a job that he had had to call in extra help for, it was good money. He and Aaron had been over for four days. It hurt like hell, he wasn't sure he'd ever felt anything as painful as his current break up, that was until he'd taken that call.<p>

It was Ryan; he'd wondered why the mechanic was calling him, thinking it was something about the house he now shared with him he'd answered, only to be crushed by the mechanic's words.

"Aaron's in the hospital" he had said and Jackson was sure he had heard him wrong "say that again?"

"Aaron's in the hospital" Ryan had repeated again, slowly "I thought someone should tell you" Yeah, he'd definitely heard him correctly. His heart was suddenly pounding and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears, he could hear the blood rushing through his veins.

"What happened?" he asked already making his way to his van. He had to get to that hospital. He just had to.

"I don't know. He's been hitting the bottle hard since you and him...but I have no idea"

"Hotten General?" Jackson had asked, making sure he was going to the right hospital. Ryan had confirmed that was the hospital and after telling one of his mates to take over from him, he jumped in his van and headed towards the hospital. He broke the speed limit, more than once but he couldn't care. He had to get to the hospital, he hadn't even asked Ryan what was up with the younger mechanic but he guessed it must have been bad for Ryan to contact him. Why hadn't someone else? Paddy? His Mother? Oh yeah! Cause he'd dumped him! Aaron was in the hospital and it was all his fault.

He knew he couldn't spend time feeling sorry for himself, at least not until he had laid eyes on Aaron and knew that sooner or later he would leave the hospital and be as fit as a fiddle.

It took him just under ten minutes to reach Hotten general, usually it would take at least twice that but he was in a rush. He parked in the first place he found, not caring and sprinted towards the entrance. He had to find him, he had to see him.

Rushing through the doors be pushed his way past the couple of people stood waiting, he couldn't wait "Aaron Livesy" he'd said, demanded almost just to be stared at blankly by the receptionist. He had just been about to ask again when he heard a surprised voice say "Jackson" it belonged to Paddy, he knew that even before he turned around to face the older man.

"Paddy!" he said, relief flooding through him as he rushed towards the older man "Where's Aaron?"

Paddy looked at him, a confused expression on his face "Who told you?" he asks "I was going to I...Just...I" he stammered and Jackson was growing impatient "Aaron Paddy! Where is he?"

"Right" Paddy says, getting his head back in the game "This way" he moves forward, pulling on Jackson's jacket.

Jackson follows the older man silently, his heart was still racing and he couldn't help but conjure up a million different scenarios, he just needed to see him, he needed to touch him. He spotted Cain and Chas at the end of the corridor, Cain was sat whilst Chas paced up and down, they both noticed him at the same time. Chas looked pleased to see him, as she walked a couple of steps towards him, Cain on the other hand said "What's he doing here?" only to be quietened down by Chas glaring at him.

"Jackson!" she exclaimed "I'm so sorry I meant to tell you"

"It's alright, Ryan called" Jackson explains at the same time as Cain says "Why would you tell him? He dumped the lad, it's probably his fault that we're all here, it was his fault he tried to top himself last time"

Jackson was pretty sure the blow couldn't of hurt anymore if it had been with his fists, it stung. Was it his fault? Because he'd dumped him and proceeded to ignore him? He thought it might be but hoped it wasn't.

"Oi you!" Chas says slapping her brother around the head "Shut it or I'll make you wait outside, it's no one's fault" she looks at Jackson "either time"

He didn't want to ask but he had to know, he just had to "What happened?"

Chas shrugs "We don't know much" she tells him "there was an accident, a car accident on a level crossing, the car got hit by a train"

"Was he drunk?"

"No!" Cain snapped "he was picking up a car for me" Jackson could hear the guilt in the older man's voice. Had something gone wrong with the car he had sent his nephew to pick up?

"What have they said?"

"They're working on him, until they're done we just have to wait"

With a nod Jackson prepares himself for a long night in the hospital with Cain, Chas and Paddy. He text his mate to tell him he wouldn't be back at work and then quickly sent Declan a text telling him why he had gone AWOL before turning the mobile off and slipping it back into his pocket. He didn't need it, who would he call anyway? His world, the thing he loved most in the world was currently lying on a hospital bed with Doctors and Nurses doing god knows what to him and all he could do was pray, pray that when he woke up he was Aaron.

Xxx

He'd sat for hours, they all had, waiting, waiting on information. He'd bombarded every Nurse that passed him for information but no one gave any. Not one, he needed someone to know something. Eventually an older woman, in her fifties or something came out, clearly the head Doctor and approached them, Jackson jumped to his feet, moving forward with the other three waiting, anxious people to hear what she had to say.

The Doctor informed them that they had stopped the internal bleeding but that Aaron had sustained some head injuries, injuries that they wouldn't know the real cause of until he woke up, if he woke up. She also informed them that he couldn't breathe on his own, not yet anyway and that they had hooked him up to a ventilator to enable him to breathe. The point she was trying to make was that she was still unsure whether or not he would pull through and the next twenty four hours were the most crucial. If he survived the next twenty four hours, his chances would improve.

"Can I see him?" Jackson asked, he needed to see him.

The Doctor nods "Once we have him settled in a room, you can" she turns to walk then says "family only please though"

Jackson's face falls. He wasn't family, would he get to see him just as Chas butts in and says "We're all family"

The Doctor nods and walks away, she maybe didn't believe Chas but she couldn't call her on it, it's not like she could ask for proof. Suddenly he felt her arms around his shoulders "he'll be ok" she says and he's left wondering if she's trying to convince him or herself, either way, he hoped she was right.

It was another hour by the time they could see him, it was nearing eleven at night, they were all knackered, you just had to look at them to see it. Jackson held back as they approached the hospital room, he wasn't family, no matter what Chas may have said.

"What are you doing?" Paddy asks and Jackson shrugs "You go in... I'll wait out here"

Paddy rolls his eyes "He'll want you in there when he wakes up, before any of us"

Jackson shakes his head; he doesn't believe that for one second "Maybe once but... If I hadn't dumped him he wouldn't be here"

"Oi you!" it was Chas and Jackson turned to look at her "You love my son?" she asks bluntly and his eyes fall onto the floor before returning to meet hers with a simple nod of his head "Then get in there" she points at the room and Aaron who looks so frail on the bed "Where you want to be"

He'd been sat by Aaron's bed, holding his hand for almost forty minutes when he heard Chas and Cain, their voices gradually getting louder "He'll go off on one if he's here when he wakes up"

"I have to tell him" he heard Chas argue back "if it was the other way around and he didn't tell me? I'd kill him"

"I might kill him" Cain tells her and Chas sighs, it's up to Paddy to step in "I think you should call him, Aaron might not be pleased but he's his son and..." he stops, unable to say the words on the tip of his tongue "If anything else happens he has to know"

That was all the encouragement Chas needed and she was up out of the hospital room before the three men knew it. "He'll go nuts" Cain says with a smirk "Can't wait till he wakes up now"

Jackson is confused "Who is she calling?"

Cain turns to him; an eyebrow raised and says "His Dad"

"Oh" Jackson says, his eyes going wide. Aaron wouldn't be happy about that. Aaron didn't like his Dad, he didn't know much about their relationship but Aaron had told him he didn't ever want to see the man again.

Ten minutes later Chas walked back into the hospital, three sets of eyes on her, watching intently, waiting on what she had to say about Aaron's Dad.

"He'll be here as soon as he can" she says "he lives the other side of town"

Cain pushed himself into a standing position "I better make myself scarce then" he tells them "I can't promise not to deck the idiot"

"Uh...I'll come too" Paddy says getting to his feet "I've got to open the surgery in the morning but I'll be back as soon as I can" he looked at both Jackson and Chas "I guess neither of you will be moving until he wakes up, right?"

"Certainly not tonight" Chas tells the vet "I'm going nowhere"

Xxx

He must have dozed off because the sound of hushed voices and a door being closed woke him. He remembered where he was instantly and why he was there. His hand was still wrapped around Aaron's as the mechanic slept. Before opening his eyes he heard the hush voices talking, talking about him.

"Who's he?" he heard an unfamiliar male voice ask, he guessed it was Aaron's Father.

"Jackson"

"Who he?" he barked again

"Aaron's boyfriend"

There was a deadly silence after that for a few minutes "so it's true then, what I saw in the paper. He's gay?"

"Problem with that?" Chas spat out, daring him to have one, baiting him almost. She needed someone to take her anger out on and if he was to be it then fine.

"No, no" he heard the man say quickly, obviously not wanting to fight with her "It explains a lot though, must have been the reason he acted out so much, right?"

"I don't know" he heard Chas sigh "But he's doing better now, he's got Jackson. Jackson is a nice lad, he's good for him"

Before the man could answer Jackson decided it was time to let them know that he was in fact awake and he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, as his eyes adjusted to the dim light in the place.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asks

"Little over an hour" Chas says stepping closer to the bed "should have woken me"

"You came straight from work Jackson, he's asleep. If anything had changed I would have woken you up"

Jackson nods and once he's feeling a little more awake than he had been previously he gets to his feet and says "Jackson Walsh" extending his hand for the man to shake.

"Gordon Livesy" the guy says without hesitation and shakes his hand "I wish we could have met under different circumstances"

Jackson agrees with that and smiles slightly "me too"

He stands back as Gordon makes his way towards Aaron's bed "He's grown up a lot since I last saw him" he says "but he looks so fragile" he turns to Chas and Jackson "What have they said?"

Chas informs Gordon of what the Doctors had told her, everything she could remember and Jackson takes his place back at Aaron's side. His hand firmly in his as he watches his chest rise and fall, he knows it's the machine that's doing it, so he feels the need to tell Aaron that he has to wake up and do it on his own. He couldn't die, he couldn't leave him and he wasn't about to let him.

Xxx

One week. It had been one week that Aaron had been in a coma. It had taken a lot of persuasion before anyone actually managed to get Jackson out of the chair by the mechanics bed and home to change and shower. They even managed to get him to do some work, not a lot, just a couple of hours each day but he was always at the hospital before three o'clock in the day and stayed there until the next morning. He was determined that when Aaron opened his eyes, he would be there.

He had been at the hospital for an hour, Chas, Gordon and Paddy were also there, he stepped out of the room, reluctantly to get himself a coffee. He was sure something was going to kick off between Chas and Gordon, the man was clearly getting on her nerves, thinking he knew best and throwing the fact he brought him up and she couldn't help but throw him in his face the fact he abandoned him with her when he was fifteen. It was getting ugly and he knew it was only going to get worse.

Inside the hospital room unknown to Jackson Aaron was slowly starting to come around. His body and mind where wakening themselves up from their deep sleep. He could hear voices at first but was unable to make them out, but as he became slightly more coherent he realised that at least one of the voices belong to his Mother, the other he wasn't sure about. He didn't know where he was when his eyes opened, and he tried to move his arm but found he couldn't. It was only when he let out a loud groan that the other occupants of the room realised he was awake.

"Aaron!" he hears his Mother and what sounds like Paddy call out as they suddenly appeared in front of his eyes "You're in the hospital" she explains "You had an accident"

Hospital, that made a little more sense but he couldn't remember and accident, where was Jackson? Was Jackson alright? He hadn't been in the accident too had he? He hoped not. "Jackson" he whispered hoarsely as Paddy said "I need to get a Doctor or Nurse"

"Jackson!" Aaron says louder this time, hurting himself in the process, his throat was very dry.

"I'll get him!" Paddy assures him as he steps out, "Jackson, he's awake!" he yells at the young builder whilst heading towards the nurses' station. Jackson is up on his feet and inside the room within no time at all. He knew that as soon as the nurses appeared that they would be ushered out until they did some tests but he had to at least see him, see those eyes before that happened.

Once inside the room he made for the bed, grabbing Aaron's hand "Aaron" he says, letting the younger lad know it was him and slowly his eyes opened and a small smile formed on his lips "Jackson"

"You took long enough to wake up"

"Sorry" he mumbled groggily but Jackson shook his head "I'm just glad you woke up"

Just then the Doctors and Nurses walked in "You'll have to excuse us whilst we run some tests"

"Jackson" Aaron says worriedly "Paddy?"

Chas and Gordon were both a little hurt that he didn't call for them but then Aaron still hadn't noticed that Gordon was in the room "It's alright" Jackson assures him "We'll be right out there and as soon as they're finished we'll be back in alright?"

He took his silence to mean that he was alright and slowly backed out of the room, Aaron didn't look at him once. He just lay there with his eyes closed and his head on the bed.

Xxx

It was a further hour of anxious and nervous pacing before they were finally allowed back in the room. Jackson didn't wait to hear what the Doctor had to say, he didn't care really. Aaron was awake and he couldn't care about anything else. He slipped into the room. Aaron had his eyes closed and for a second he thought he was asleep until the gruff voice said "I'm awake"

"How'd you know it was me?"

"I could smell your aftershave" Aaron says, a small smile pulling at his lips. He lay with a metal brace around his head because they were scared there could be problems with his spine.

"Cheers" Jackson says moving closer, grateful for the light hearted remark, he expected Aaron to be angry or to tell him do "do one" but he hadn't, not yet anyway.

"How long was I out?"

"A week" Jackson says, perching on the bed, careful not to disturb anything "You've been out a week"

"I can't remember anything that happened"

"Maybe that's for the best" Jackson says "You don't want to remember it"

"The Doctor said I'll remember, if there's no brain damage"

Just then the hospital door opened and in walked Paddy, Chas and Gordon "Aaron" Chas says slowly, cautiously "Your dad is here to see you"

Jackson is the closest, he sees the way Aaron's eyes widen "What the hell does he want? I don't want him here"

"Aaron, son" Gordon says moving closer but Aaron is adamant "No" he says, turning to Jackson "Get him out of here, Mum, get him out"

Chas smiled to herself "You heard him, out" she says pushing him out of the door "don't make me get security"

"I have a right to know how he's doing" Gordon argued and with a sigh Chas says "I'll talk to him or get Jackson to talk to him and I'll keep you updated, he just doesn't need this, alright?"

Gordon agreed with that and quietly walked away, he wasn't happy about having to walk away but he understood why he was.

Chas slipped back into the hospital room and moved towards her son "How you feeling?" she asks "Like I've been hit by something" he replies causing Jackson to smirk and shake his head.

"Why do I have this thing around my head?" he asks and the three other occupants of the room looked at each other, not knowing how to answer that. Finally though Paddy is the one to attempt it "Just a precaution" he says "Just until they're sure that you don't have any more injuries"

"Right" he replies but he's not convinced, there seemed to be more but he wasn't going to push the issue, he was too tired for that and a couple seconds later he had fallen back asleep once more.

Xxx

A few days later and it was just Jackson and Aaron alone in the hospital room. With Aaron awake Chas and Paddy had gone back to work, part time obviously but Jackson couldn't. He couldn't leave him, he knew it was confusing Aaron.

"Why are you here?" Aaron asks out of the blue, his blue eyes staring intently

"You're hurt"

"That the only reason?" Aaron asks "I mean, you dumped me why do you give a crap whether or not I'm hurt?"

"I dumped you Aaron, I didn't stop caring about you" he breathes out "Do you want me to stop coming?" the thought that Aaron might want that hurt beyond words but if he wanted him to stop then no matter how much it hurt him he would.

"Am I still dumped?"

Jackson takes a deep breath and wants to say "No" because he wasn't still dumped. Aaron's accident had shown him that no matter what he couldn't stay away but instead he says "Once you're out of here we'll talk about it, until then let's just concentrate on getting you better alright?"

Aaron could work with that, it just made him want to get better a lot faster though "So I don't get a kiss or anything?" he asks with a small smile playing at his lips "You never know, might help with my recovery"

Heaving himself to his feet Jackson approaches the top of the bed. Aaron still has his halo on, kissing him will be awkward but not in possible "Fine" he says "Seen as how I'm about to leave you"

"Leave me?"

"I've got to go to work" Jackson explains "I'll be back about seven"

"What time is it now?"

"Half eleven"

"Great, cheers for that. I'll just lie here on my own until then"

"Stop being a drama queen" Jackson tells him "Adam will be here soon, so quit your complaining and Victoria said she wanted to come see you plus there's always your Mum and Paddy to look forward to"

Aaron's reply to that was to roll his eyes, his Mum and Paddy were beginning to suffocate him but it's not like he could tell them to stop coming around.

"I'll see you later" Jackson says as he carefully leans forward, towards him. Their lips connect and they share a soft, tender kiss. A kiss that lasts mere seconds but leaves them both breathless "I'll see you later" he says "bring me in some proper food eh?" Aaron calls out as Jackson turns and Jackson agrees. By 'proper food' Jackson knows Aaron means fast good, such as a cheeseburger or something but he doesn't care, if he wants it, he'll get him it.

Xxx

It was half past six by the time he returned to the hospital, walking into the room he felt the atmosphere. It was tense, quiet and no one was looking at anyone, each person was lost in their own little world

"What have I missed?" he asks, letting them know he was there if they didn't already know it.

Chas and Paddy give each other a look and then walk out of the room, Jackson is even more confused.

"Aaron?"

When Aaron eventually looks at him, his gaze is cold, hard, far away "What's wrong?"

"What are you doing here?" the teenager bites out

"I told you I'd be back, what's going on?"

"You should be glad you dumped me, saves you doing it now"

"Aaron what are you talking about?" he asks, getting closer, reaching for his hand, taking it in his "Tell me"

"They say I might be paralysed, I might never walk again"

Jackson's eyes widen at the news, he'd known it was possible but now they'd told Aaron it somehow made it more real "and?"

"And?" Aaron barks "Who'd want to be stuck with a cripple, you can go, pretend you never met me"

Jackson is just staring at him like he's an idiot and Aaron is confused, why hadn't he run yet? If the shoe was on the other foot he was pretty sure he'd run, he couldn't handle Jackson being paralysed.

"You think that because you might be paralysed that I'm going to run away?"

Aaron doesn't answer

"You think that little of me, really?"

"I'm not your problem, haven't been since you dumped me"

"Aaron" he says and waits until those deep blue eyes are looking at him before he speaks again "I'm not going anywhere. Paralysed or not, I'm staying"

"Are you mental?"

"Aaron, they don't know if your paralysed or not"

"Chances are I am"

"Then you're paralysed. I want you, I don't care about anything else"

"Your Mum will tell you to dump me, she's never liked me"

"It's a good thing I'm the one your with then and not her, isn't it?"

"You're not going to do a runner if I'm paralysed?"

"Nope"

"Why not?"

With a shrug he says "I kinda like you"

"You need to see someone mate"

Perching on the end of the bed Jackson smiles "Maybe but are you done with your little fit now?"

Aaron nods "Yeah"

"Good" Jackson says lifting up the carrier bag he had brought in with him "cause I got you that real food you wanted"

Aaron's face lit up and Jackson couldn't help the smile that quickly spread over his face at the sight. He loved him, paralysed or not, he couldn't keep away.

Xxx

A/N = REVIEW! TELL ME YOU WANT HAPPINESS, IT MIGHT MAKE ME WRITE IT, SOMETHING HAS TO! THANK YOU! :D


	9. Boxes

**Boxes**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

* * *

><p>"You didn't have this much crap before" Aaron complained as he carried the heavy box up the road. He had lost count of how many boxes he had carried from Dale View to Smithy. The journey was short but the boxes were heavy and he was getting bored by the constant repetitive nature of moving Jackson from one house to another. He had suggested using the van but Jackson had told him it was a waste of petrol and harmful to the environment when they only had to carry a few boxes about 100 feet.<p>

"Quit your complaining"

Aaron pulls a face at that, he was allowed to complain, he had been doing the same thing for well over an hour "You didn't have this much crap when you moved out, what the hell have you been doing?"

"I could always just stay at Dale View if you want? If I have too much stuff for you"

"No" Aaron exclaimed quickly. There was no way he was going to allow that to happen. It had taken him six months to convince the builder to move back into Smithy, with him after he had moved out over that whole Clyde fiasco, he wasn't about to let something as stupid as a few boxes of stuff keep them apart again, no way. "I just don't know where it's going to go"

Jackson had wondered the exact same thing before it had just been him, Aaron, Paddy and his Mother who lived in Smithy but now Rhona lived there and she was pregnant, the place was filling up fast. His Mother was moving out though, just down the road, she was renting Dale Head from Declan. She had decided to stay in the village and with Smithy becoming cramped she thought best to find her own place. Jackson had suggested to Aaron that they move in with her, with Hazel but after the look given to him by his boyfriend he knew the answer to that. A resounding "No" Aaron would not be living in a house with his Mother. "We'll find somewhere" he tells Aaron, manoeuvring definition the boxes so he can pat the mechanic on the back reassuringly "don't worry your pretty little head about it"

Rolling his eyes Aaron just shakes his head; they still had at least one more trip down to Dale View and back before they could relax and before they could even think about unpacking the boxes. Aaron was tempted to tell Jackson he'd have to do it alone but doing that meant it could take longer which meant the boxes would litter their bedroom allowing them no space, no, he would have to help him even if it meant hiding most of them in the attic until Jackson needed something he couldn't find.

It's another hour before they collapse onto their bed, both knackered from carrying boxes. "What time is it?" Jackson asks nudging Aaron in the side, he was too comfortable to move himself to look and secretly hoped Aaron would do it for him without complaint. With a groan the mechanic did just that and rolled over towards the side of the bed before rolling back again "It's just gone four" he groans "felt like longer than that, we only took two and a half hours"

"That's cause your lazy"

"Me?" Aaron fires back "You're the one that drives around in that van all day"

"Says the one that wanted to use it to move my stuff"

"It would have been quicker"

"Shut up" Jackson says, elbowing him. Aaron elbows him back and in the end they end up tussling on the bed with each other, both trying to gain the upper hand, finally though after a good ten minutes Jackson gives in. "Ha!" Aaron says pinning the builder to the bed "What you going to do now?"

Shrugging as best he can Jackson replies "Nothing"

"Nothing?"

"I let you win"

"Yeah, right" Aaron scoffs, not believing it.

Jackson shifts his position under the mechanic, making himself and Aaron a little more comfortable "maybe I wanted you on top of me" the builder fires back "ever think this was just my way of getting what I want?"

He watches as Aaron's blue eyes stare at him, trying to figure out if he means it or not, he can see him thinking, he watches as those deep blue eyes start to sparkle and he shrugs "Don't care" Aaron says, swooping down and capturing his lips in a quick but bruising kiss "Either way, I still have you pinned to the bed"

"And what are you going to do with me?" Jackson asks "After all, you were complaining before about how I better get these boxes unpacked and out of your way as quick as I could"

"Yeah" Aaron agrees, he did say that and he did want that to happen "It's only four right? You can unpack before the nights through"

"Aaron, how often are we quick?" the builder asks, they always intend to be quick, to have a quickie but it never really pans out that way, they end up play fighting under those covers for hours.

"We will be this time" Aaron says, this time capturing Jackson's already bruised lips in a fierce kiss. With the passion and want growing Aaron pressed himself closer towards Jackson; their hips pressed together their hands running over any part of the other's body they could reach as they began to lose themselves in one another. They'd had sex in this bed recently, the night before in fact but it would be different this time because this time Aaron knew that Jackson wouldn't be leaving it to go home. He was home; the builder was back there he belonged, with him.

Aaron's hands had just found Jackson's belt, they were just pulling it from it's loops when there was a bloody great bang on their door, followed by the unmistakable sound of Hazel "You two better not be doing what I think you're doing" she tells them. "Plenty of time for that later but I'm cooking and you'll be down at the table in the next twenty minutes, you don't want me forcing my way in there do you?"

They share a look before Aaron's body collapses on Jackson's, his head falling into the crook of his shoulder, pressing feather light kisses as Jackson speaks to his Mother "Alright Mum" he yells "We're just unpacking my stuff"

They both hear her scoff and say "do they think I was born yesterday?" as she walks down the stairs.

With Hazel back downstairs Aaron pushes himself up, holding himself up by his hands he looks at Jackson and says "It it wrong that I can't wait until she moves out?"

Jackson gives him a look, he doesn't look very impressed with the question.

"She has the worst timing" he explains his reasons for wanting her gone.

"Yeah" Jackson agrees, kissing him quickly "but it was a blessing really, I mean..." he trails off, looking around the room at the many boxes it contained "I do have to unpack, so we should do that, we can do this" he points between the two of them "later when we're done"

"Fine" Aaron reluctantly agrees as he rolls off of Jackson and the bed, he holds out his hand, to help the builder stand. Jackson grabs it and pulls himself up, dropping a kiss onto Aaron's lips "Come on then" he says "We only have twenty minutes to get as much done as possible"

Xxx

It's almost midnight when they finally get into bed. The meal cooked by Hazel was lovely, the one thing Aaron would miss about the woman living with them was her cooking but after the meal it had taken them a while before they could get back upstairs and even longer to unpack the boxes. It was finally done though which meant they didn't have to do it the next day but the down side to that was, they were both extremely knackered.

Jackson felt Aaron's fingertips running up and down his side, he closed his eyes and lost himself in the feel of it for a few minutes before saying "I really can't move" he feels the bed dip and move as Aaron moves closer. His mouth pressed against Jackson's shoulder as he says "me either, doesn't mean I can't do this though... Unless you want me to stop?"

Jackson doesn't even give that question an answer; instead he wraps his hand around the back of Aaron's neck and pulls him forward for a kiss.

"What was that for?" Aaron asks when they finally pull apart. He stares into the deep brown eyes of Jackson and takes note of how lucky he is to have him. He can't believe he has him sometimes, they'd had that rough patch last year but they'd gotten through it, they were still together and Jackson had even moved back into Smithy. It had been less than a year since he came out, properly anyway and over a year since he met Jackson. He had to say it, his life was good and it was all because of him, because of Jackson.

"Just because" Jackson says with a smile. He's aware that it will soon, well in a couple of months anyway, be there one year anniversary if you don't count the 'breaks' inbetween and he's not about to. He wants to think that they've been together, properly, for one whole year and in his heart they have. In his heart he knows that no matter what Aaron might do, it would take a lot before he walked away for good and he just hoped that it never happened. He didn't want to feel that hurt.

"You're weird"

Jackson agrees with that, he is weird "That's why you love me" Aaron scrunches his face up, he's told Jackson he loves him, he tells him every now and then but he's still uncomfortable with all the talk of feelings but he's getting better and in only a year, he's done amazingly well, Jackson knows this, it's why Jackson doesn't care when he pulls a face.

Aaron rolls over onto his back and stretches his arm out across Jackson's pillow, a silent indication that he wants Jackson to roll over towards him, to use his arm as his pillow. Jackson knows what he wants and after a beat, he gives it to him. They snuggle up against each other, wrapping themselves around one another to be as close as humanly possible. It wasn't how they planned to spend their first night living together again but it was a pretty perfect second choice. They weren't all about sex and lying in that bed, as close as they were, both perfectly content proved it.

Xxx

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW! :)


	10. Secret

**Secret**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

* * *

><p>Some would say it was a classic love story, the same love story that happened in each generation from the beginning of time. One popular and one a not so popular bad boy who most people tried to avoid at all costs, who just happen to meet and fall in love with one another and maybe in that sense it could be seen as a classic love story but for them, it was anything but simple and anything but easy. They had a number of obstacles to get over before they could be together, before they would admit their feelings to one another. It didn't come easy, their love for each other or maybe it did but admitting that they were in fact in love with one another didn't come easy for them. It all started one cold, rainy night in October.<p>

Jackson Walsh is a seventeen year old senior; he plays football and is one of the most popular guys at Hotten High School. The thing about Jackson is that he's not a horrible guy; in fact he's the opposite. He's a nice, easy going guy that gets on with everyone, or at least he tries to but with his popularity some people think otherwise and there's always rumours going around about him but he ignores them. He knows who he is, what he is and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks. He's gay, he knows he's gay by the fact that no girl has ever really turned him on, guys have though but never girls, he knows he's gay but he hasn't done anything about it, not yet. He'd never really been attracted to another guy all that much, he'd found them good looking but nothing worth pursuing. Once, a couple of months ago he had attempted visiting a gay bar but he had been sixteen at the time and had lasted less than an hour inside before he was thrown out. He decided there and then that he probably wouldn't go back to another gay bar before he was eighteen. He didn't want the embarrassment of being thrown out and then there was the fact that he still had to come out, to his Mum, his Dad and his friends. That was the one thing he wasn't looking forward to, the coming out part.

Aaron Livesy on the other hand was a seventeen year old teenage tearaway who would show up at school if and when he felt like it which wasn't really all that often. He didn't like school. He didn't much see the point in it but for reason unknown to him he was still there, barely. He was leaving at Christmas though, he was going to be a mechanic. His Mother had managed to swing getting him a job at his cousins garage, it would be much better than school but until then he would make as much trouble in school as possible. It's what he found to pass his time, better than sitting in stupid lessons that didn't interest him. He didn't have many friends in school; in fact he didn't have many friends in general. Just one, a farmer called Adam Barton, he was his best friend but he wasn't at school, he left at sixteen, something Aaron had wanted to do but Paddy, the guy he lives with, had said that he would have to stay on until he was closer to eighteen because it was the right thing to do. He still doesn't know why he listened to the older man, maybe it was because Paddy seemed to actually care about his well being, unlike his Mother who ran off with the 'love of her life' and left her living with his ex. He preferred it but it still didn't stop it from being annoying, he hated Carl, his Mother's boyfriend and therefore he hated his Mother too. Aaron knew why he acted the way he did and he didn't like it. In fact he would barely even admit it to himself but somewhere, deep down inside himself he knew he was gay but would he admit it? Hell no, he was never going to go there with a guy, he was sure of it. He just didn't bank on meeting the one guy that was going to throw his world into a spin and change his life and it all happened because of him and his tendency to take cars that didn't belong to him for a joy ride.

Xxx

It was a dark, cold and rainy October night, almost Halloween when they first met. Jackson had been at school late, he was preparing for a football game the following Saturday and it was almost ten when he headed towards the car park, saying goodbye to his coach who was parked in the staff car parked. The closer he got to his car the more he could hear noises coming from somewhere in the car park, he wasn't sure where though. It was a few minutes later, when he could clearly see his car that he realised where the noise had in fact been coming from. There was someone trying to break into his car.

"Hey!" he yelled out as he jogged towards the car. If whoever it was had heard him he or she didn't show it, they carried on with what they were doing and a few minutes later he watched as his car door was open.

"Are you deaf!" he called out just as whoever it was turned around. He froze, he actually couldn't move and he felt as if someone had just punched him in the stomach winding him. The guy stood in front of him, the guy currently stealing his car was gorgeous, at least with the street lamp and the dark he seemed flippin' gorgeous.

"What do you want?" a gruff voice barked at him after a few minutes of silence and the two of them staring at each other, whoever this was clearly wasn't bothered by being caught.

Snapping himself out of his daydream and finding his voice Jackson says "What the hell are you doing?"

The lad merely grins and says "what's it look like?" he slips into the car and starts fiddling about, Jackson can only stand and stare in shock. He's shocked that whoever this kid is, he's so obvious about stealing his car and not caring that he has been caught.

"Looks like you're stealing my car"

The lad jumps back out and grins "you catch on quick" he rolls his eyes "You've got insurance right?"

Jackson nods "Well?" the lad says "What are you worried about"

"You can't be stealing my car" Jackson says moving closer, grabbing hold of the door only for this lad to laugh and nod "I am" he states clearly "and there's not a lot you can do about it, now excuse me" with that the lad pulls the door from Jackson's grasp and pulls it closed, a couple of seconds later he pulls out the car park leaving Jackson stood in the middle of it wondering what the hell had just happened.

Jackson watches as his car pulls out of the car park, he's stunned. He's stunned by what just happened but more than that he's stunned by the way his stomach is churning. Quickly though he puts it down to shock and nervousness. It couldn't be anything else because this lad, whoever he was, had just stolen his car and he was unlikely ever to see him again.

The rain is coming down heavy as he starts his walk home, he doesn't live that far, about a fifteen minute walk and he knows he should call the police, tell them his car has been stolen and give a description of the guy that had stolen it but for some reason he can't. He doesn't want the lad getting caught; he was giving him a head start. As soon as he got home though he would have to report it, his Mum and Dad would make him, maybe that's why instead of the fifteen minutes it usually took for him to get home, it took thirty.

Xxx

It was just after ten when he had gotten home and managed to explain to his Mother and Father how his car hadn't been there when he had left school. He missed out the part about seeing someone steal it or rather, talking to the person that had stolen it. They would have asked why he hadn't stopped them and what was he to say? 'Because I kinda thought he was hot and was too busy staring at him to care what he was doing to my car?' he was pretty sure that wouldn't have gone down too well, especially since neither one of his parents knew he was gay.

They'd called the police and given them all the details they could once they had arrived at the house, the policemen had been sympathetic and when asked by his Mother whether or not they thought they would get the car back in once piece the policeman had merely shrugged and said "I hope so" but by his tone Jackson could tell that he meant 'probably not' but for some reason Jackson didn't think his car was going to be a wreck once found. The lad that had stolen it didn't look like he was about to torch it but whatever happened there was nothing Jackson could do about it now. He'd have to wait and see how his car came back to him, if it came back to him.

To say he was surprised that a police car had pulled up outside of his house the next again morning would be an understatement, he thought it would be a while before he heard from them again, at least a couple of days but not less than twenty four hours. They'd found the car, it was the same way Jackson had left it they guessed because nothing had happened to it. It had just been abandoned on stretch of road between two villages. They guessed that whoever had stolen it must have been picked up in another car and no longer had need for his. They didn't torch it but they had wiped it off fingerprints.

They informed Jackson that he could pick it up later that day but his Dad had said he would pick it up and that Jackson should go to school, the car would be there when he got back. So that's exactly what he did. He headed to school, walking. Whilst walking though he couldn't get the lad out of his mind. Yeah, he'd stolen his car, he should hate him or something but he just wanted to see him again. In the day light so he could see if he was as good looking as the street lamp and the night lighting had made him out to be but Jackson knew it was unlikely that he would see him again. He was more than likely just passing through.

At school he told his mates all about how his car had been stolen which is why he would be walking to school he also left out telling them about the fact that he had seen who had taken it but as he hadn't told the police he wasn't about to tell them. They were shocked; at least a couple of them were whilst a couple of other's said "It was probably that Livesy, I hear he steals cars"

"Livesy?" Jackson asks, he'd never heard of that name before "Yeah" his friend says "You know that kid that barely ever turns out, he causes most of the trouble around here"

No, Jackson didn't know. He had no clue who his friends were talking about, how could he not know? He caught himself just before asking 'What does he look like' because why would he want to know that? He'd just have to find out for himself what this Livesy looked like, one way or another. His head told him it wasn't going to be the same guy because what would he have been doing hanging around the school at that time of night anyway?

Xxx

Lunchtime and Jackson had put thoughts of his car, the guy that had stolen it and whoever this Livesy person was to the back of his mind, or at least he was trying hard to do exactly that. He had been managing it that was until his friend nudged him and said "that's him"

"Him who?" Jackson asks, looking around but having no clue who it is he's meant to be looking at exactly.

"Aaron Livesy" his mate points out; he points at a shaven head lad around his age standing over the far side of the field "the kid that probably stole your car"

"Oh...right" Jackson answers, he can't take his eyes off of the lad his mate had pointed out. It was dark last night and he couldn't really see much but he was sure that this was him. It was him. He knew it was. There was no two way about it. This Aaron Livesy had been the one to steal his car. How come he had never noticed him before? How was it possible? He wasn't sure but clearly it had been possible because Jackson had never seen this lad before except for the current two times, last night and right now.

"Coming?"

"Uh..." Jackson says, distracted "In a bit, I need to do something"

"Alright" his friend nods before walking away, leaving Jackson on his own. With his friend gone Jackson can once again focus on Aaron, but he's no longer where he had been a few seconds previously.

He spots him though; he's walking across the field in the opposite direction to the school. Without really thinking it through he's sprinting towards him as fast as he possibly can, throwing his backpack over his shoulder as he goes. As he's running he's wondering just what the hell he's going to say, he has no idea how this Aaron is going to react to him catching him, to him talking to him. He suddenly thinks this is the worst idea he's ever had but he's closer to him now and he's calling out "Aaron" before he can even think about stopping himself. Aaron hears him though, he can tell by the way the other lad freezes as soon as his name is called. He swallows the lump in his throat as Aaron turns around, if he wasn't sure Aaron was the lad from last night, he was now.

Xxx

Aaron's eyes widen when he turns around. He had heard someone calling out his name, he didn't recognised the voice and he wasn't going to stop but eventually he stops, his body tensing before he turns around. He's prepared for a fight, an argument because who else would be shouting on him? He doesn't expect to find the lad from last night when he turns around though, how did he know his name? And how on earth did he know it was him? Maybe he didn't? Aaron didn't know but he was going to play it cool, not stick himself in it.

When he turns around and sees it's the lad from last night, whose name he does not know he watches as this lad swallows hard. What was wrong with him? In the daylight Aaron could get a better look at him. Last night he had seen him but it had been dark so he hadn't managed to get a good look but the lad was fit. He was about six foot, dirty blonde hair, brown eyes and if Aaron was anywhere near to admitting he was in fact gay he would admit he was attracted to him but he wasn't and he wouldn't.

"What do you want?" he barks at the lad "and how do you know my name"

"Do you remember me?"

His head says _Yes _but his mouth said "Should I?"

"You stole my car last night"

"Nah, not me sorry" he says turning on his heel and taking a step only to find himself being pulled back "Yeah you did, I'm not stupid I know it was you"

With a sigh Aaron relented, the kid obviously recognised him but it was only his word against his, he had wiped the car of prints. They couldn't prove it was him. "So what if I did? You got it back didn't you?"

Jackson couldn't believe the lad was actually admitting it, was he nuts "how do you know my name?" Aaron barks, still waiting for an answer to that particular question.

"You can't just go about stealing peoples cars"

"You got it back!"

"Why'd you steal it?"

"It was raining"

Jackson's eyes widened 'It was raining?' What kind of excuse was that for stealing someone's car? "And?"

"I didn't want to get wet" Aaron explains with a smirk "Now was there anything else? I have somewhere to be"

"You stole my car because you didn't want to get wet?"

Aaron nods

"If you'd asked for a ride I would have given you one"

"I don't know you mate, why would I ask you for a ride?"

"Beats stealing a car"

"But I'm so good at it"

"Obviously not, I caught you"

"You still let me take it" Aaron points out with a self satisfied smirk on his face "Now, I was bailing if you don't stop going on at me someone is likely to catch me, you don't want to get me into trouble, do you?"

Jackson couldn't believe the audacity of this lad, he obviously couldn't give a crap "What's to stop me telling them about you bailing and about the car?"

"You would have done it already" Aaron points out "Now, I'm bailing, are you?"

Jackson shook his head

"Well excuse me, I have better places to be" with that Aaron walks away and this time Jackson doesn't try to stop him.

Xxx

Walking away from the lad Aaron couldn't help but look back and he was still staring at him. He smiled to himself. The lad was fit and he had no idea what his name was or how he knew his name. He hadn't known it last night. How had he managed to find it out so quickly? And track him down? He wanted to know but he'd have to leave it for some other time because he was done with school for one day. He was heading home.

Back home, on his bed he found that the six foot, dirty blonde, brown eyed guy wouldn't get off of his mind. He hated it. He'd been attracted to one guy before and that was years ago, he wasn't gay. He wasn't about to be gay. He was unlikely to see that kid again anyway, he obviously wasn't going to tell anybody about him stealing the car and that was unlikely to be the same reason as he had left the car in one piece. He just couldn't torch it, he had planned to but he kept seeing that guy's face and ended up just wiping it for prints and walking away. What the hell?

Xxx

The next morning and Aaron made it to his first lesson of the day and for once he wasn't late. He was telling himself it was because he got his times wrong. No other reason. He was sat at the back of the class. The chair next to him was empty, it was always empty, not many people were brave enough to sit beside him. He had a reputation.

As usual he stuck in his head phones and lost himself in his music, which is why he failed to notice anyone walking towards him until someone else dropped down into the seat beside him, nudging him in the process. He quickly turned his attention, it was the lad from yesterday, the lad whose car he had stolen, who knew his name but he had no clue of his. He was smiling at him

"Alright?"

Aaron continued to stare blankly at him.

"I'm Jackson by the way, Jackson Walsh, incase you were wondering"

"I wasn't" _he was_

"And my car is out in the car park, I'm guessing it's going to be safe?"

Aaron rolls his eyes "Unless it starts to rain and I can't find another one that I want"

Jackson shakes his head and laughs, why hadn't he noticed this guy before? How was it possible? He was pretty sure he was exactly his type, alright he wasn't gay but... They could be friends right? It would make a change from the usual crowd he hung around with.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

Jackson pulls a face, not understanding the question and Aaron continues "Why you sitting beside me? I sit alone"

"I want to sit here" Jackson states "No law against it, is there?"

"Suit yourself" Aaron says as he leans forward, crossing his arms on the desk and laying his head down.

Jackson looked around, his best friend was looking at him, clearly wondering what he was doing but he just ignored him and turned back towards the teacher. He didn't know why, well he did but he was sure it was more than just a physical attraction but he wanted to get to know this guy better, much better.

Xxx

One month later and Aaron and Jackson had spent some more time together. Mostly because one or both of them sought the other out, the day that Jackson had sat beside him in class had sort of been the start of their unlikely friendship. Who would have thought that a friendship would come out of someone trying to steal your car? Not Jackson but he was glad it had.

The more he got to know Aaron the more he liked him really. Yeah, he had a temper and could fly off the handle over any little thing but when it was just them, when he felt like he didn't have to put on the hard man routine he was a genuinely lovely guy, who was funny and caring. Jackson liked that side of him, he liked the bad boy side too because well, who doesn't like a bad boy?

The time they had been spending together happened mostly outside of school but now, now they were starting to spend time together inside of school and people were surprised.

It was lunch time and Jackson was sat outside on the grass with Aaron when his mate, Tim came by "What you sitting with that psycho for?" he demanded to know, throwing a disgusted look in Aaron's direction. Aaron tried hard not to rise to it, not to give the idiot what he was looking for and that was for him to kick off. He'd had run-ins with Tim before.

Jackson quickly got to his feet "Just having a chat" he says "Was waiting for you lot" with that he grabs his bag and follows Tim leaving Aaron alone and extremely pissed off. So pissed off in fact that he didn't make it to his next class or the one after that, he was sure that if he had gone to class he would end up decking someone, probably Jackson. Jackson who was clearly ashamed to admit he was friends with him and had literally dumped him when one of his friends came along.

For the next two days Aaron avoided him. Jackson tried to contact him, by phone, email over facebook but Aaron wasn't having it. How could he have been stupid enough to be friends with someone who couldn't even admit to being his friend?

It was Friday and school was finished for the week. Usually Aaron would be out doing something stupid but he wasn't, he was lying on his bed with his ear phones in which is exactly why he didn't hear Paddy calling up the stairs to warn him that someone was coming up. He only realised there was someone else in his room when it was too late, someone he had been trying to avoid.

Xxx

Jackson was annoyed at himself. He has no idea why he had denied hanging around with Aaron. He was ashamed of their friendship or him but when Tim had asked he had just said the first thing that had come into his head which in turn had basically ended his friendship with Aaron. He didn't want that. He didn't want to not be friends with Aaron, he thought about the other lad constantly, maybe in more way than being just a friend but he knows Aaron isn't gay so they could only ever be friends. He's also pretty certain that if Aaron were to find out he was gay they wouldn't be friends anymore but until that time he wanted to friends with him.

He found out where he lived, it was a hard process, not many people know but he'd found a girl in School who he had seen Aaron talk to before and it turned out they lived in the same village, for a ride she had given him his address.

He knocked on the door, hoping that Aaron would answer only for it to be answered be an older man with glasses "Can I help you?"

"I'm uh...Looking for Aaron?"

"Oh, he's upstairs" he man had says before calling out "Aaron, someone to see you" A few seconds later and there's no reply. The older man rolls his eyes "must have his ear phones in, I'm going out but go on up. His room is the first as you go upstairs"

"Thanks" he says smiling gratefully at him before climbing the stairs that he guessed led to the bedroom.

He found the bedroom; it was exactly where the man had said it was. He knocked but received no answer, taking a deep breath he turned the handle and walked in. He had no idea how Aaron would react to seeing him.

He was on his bed, eyes closed and ear phones in and apparently he hadn't noticed that someone else was in the room with him. He reached out and gently shook his shoulder, moments later Aaron's eyes snapped in surprise, staring straight at him.

Xxx

He felt a hand on his shoulder, it was unexpected seen as how he had thought himself alone and his body tensed and his eyes shot open. Opening his eyes he found Jackson sitting in front of him, staring at him. He looked a little nervous, well so he should! Aaron hadn't been the one to deny that he was hanging out with him or walk away from him.

"What do you want" he barks

"I'm sorry" are the first words out of Jackson's mouth because he was, really truly sorry.

"What for?"

"The thing with Tim. I just... You're rude to everyone Aaron"

"Not to you" he points out "Cause I thought you were my mate"

"I am"

"Some mate" Aaron scoffs "Mates don't deny that they're mates with someone"

"I'm sorry alright? Can we just forget about it?"

Aaron pulls a face and turns away from him, Jackson frowns, this isn't how he wanted this to go but he knew he would be stubborn, not that he could blame him really.

"How did you find out where I lived anyway?" Aaron asks because in the month that they had been spending together Jackson had never been to his home, the closest he had gotten was dropping him off at the bus stop.

"Some girl told me"

Aaron knows exactly who that some girl is, there's only one person that would give out that information about him "Victoria?"

"That could have been her name" Jackson responds, not wanting to get the girl into Aaron's bad books. It was bad enough that he was currently in them.

"Right you can go now" Aaron tells him, sticking his earphones back into his ears. Jackson sighs but he wasn't about to give up that easily. He got up and moved around the other side of the bed, sitting beside Aaron, fully aware of Aaron's eyes on him the entire time "I'm not going anywhere"

Aaron sits up, pushing Jackson into a standing position, anger flaring behind his blue eyes "Yes you are" he tells him in no uncertain terms "before I have to make you and trust me, you won't like that"

"Aaron!" Jackson cries desperately, he didn't want to lose him "Just go Jackson, go back to those mates that you're not ashamed to be seen with"

"I'm not..." he's about to tell him he's not ashamed but he knows that his cries will fall on deaf ears. Aaron won't believe him. He clearly hurt him when he pretended he hadn't been sitting with him. Slowly, quietly, he made his way out of Aaron's bedroom and down the stairs before closing the front door of the cottage completely.

Xxx

He has no idea why but as soon as he hears the front door close he breaks down. Tears fall from his eyes as he silently sobs. What the hell? He keeps asking himself, why is he crying like a girl? Could it be because for the first time in a long time he felt like he has someone who understood him? Who got him in a way no one else ever did? Because really, he'd tried to steal Jackson's car and Jackson just wanted to be his mate, why had he fucked that up by saying he hadn't been sitting with him? Why did he have to prove to him that he was ashamed of his reputation, so much so that he wouldn't admit to being around him. Aaron wasn't ashamed of his reputation though, he liked it. It meant no one would dare try anything with him.

He didn't know what he was going to do. He wanted his friend back, he wanted Jackson back but he had just practically thrown him out, whilst threatening him. What are the chances Jackson would want anything to do with him now?

Xxx

The next night, Saturday night and Aaron had found out about a party. Not just any party, it was a party thrown by one of the football players. Jackson was a football player, which meant he would more than likely be there. Aaron didn't know the kid who was throwing the party but that wasn't going to stop him going. He wanted to talk to Jackson; he needed to talk to Jackson. He'd been ignoring his calls and texts; he'd been trying to get hold of him to tell him he was sorry. No such luck, which meant he would have to go to this stupid party and try not to hit anyone.

He arrived at the house around ten; the door was wide open so he just walked in. Pushing his way through the mass of bodies he was only looking for one person. A few people gave him a strange look, more than likely wondering what he was doing there but he ignored him. He had to find Jackson and he just hoped he was in fact at the party and he hadn't wasted his time.

After fifteen minutes he had just about given up hope until he saw him. He was out in the garden and thankfully for Aaron, he was on his own.

"What you standing out here on your own for like an idiot?" he asks, an ice breaker if you will.

Jackson turns, his eyes going wide. Clearly he's shocked to see him and quickly his face hardens "What do you want?" he barks

Aaron shrugs, acting casual "Heard there was a party, thought I'd get laid"

Those words hurt more than they should and Jackson bites the inside of his mouth before saying "Don't let me keep you from that" before disappearing further down the garden. With a groan Aaron follows

"Will you stop following me?"

"Nope" Aaron says with a smile "not till you talk to me"

"Thought you were here to get laid?"

Aaron shrugs, even although Jackson has his back to him and says "There's time for that"

"Like I said, don't let me stop you"

Aaron stops him though. He grabs his arm and spins him around, facing him.

"Stop being a dick, eh?"

"Me?" Jackson snaps, anger getting the better of him "I came to apologise to you but you didn't want to know, I think you even threatened me?"

"I wouldn't have done anything to you" Aaron mumbles, looking at the ground and kicking the grass with his foot. He wouldn't have done anything, not to him, not to Jackson. "I'm sorry"

"Tell it to someone who cares" he says before walking away. An angry and pissed off Aaron follows him. Eventually Jackson has to stop though, they come to the end of the garden and he turns. His back pressed up against the fence. He's staring at the ground "I didn't mean what I said the other day. I don't even know why I said it"

When he looks up it's to find Aaron standing extremely close "I didn't mean what I said earlier. I was just pissed off at you"

"I've liked getting to know you" Jackson admits "You're not as much of a nutter as they try to make out"

Aaron laughs out loud at that and for a split second, his gaze flicks from Jackson's eyes to his mouth. He's thought about Jackson's mouth before, more than once. Thought about parts of his body he'd really like to feel it on, thought about what it would feel like to kiss him but never, not once had he been this close to him, or in a situation where Jackson could clearly see him staring at his mouth.

It was long enough for Jackson to notice though and when he looks back up it's to find Jackson staring at him. Their eyes lock and that's it. Their lost in each other, neither one moving, neither of them saying anything, too busy looking, too lost in the moment.

Just like that and their lips have met. Their kissing, Aaron backing Jackson's against the fence even more if it were possible, pressing his body into him. Jackson has one hand cupping his head the only on his bicep, Aaron's hands are both flat out against the fence, caging Jackson in almost. As their tongues meet the kiss intensifies. Both of them lost in the feel of the other, the pent up want, confusion, hurt, and anger, both of them had a hundred different thoughts, emotions and feelings that they were pouring into that kiss and right at that moment, they couldn't have cared who saw them.

When they pull apart there's a moment when neither of them say anything. They stand there, foreheads touching as they try to regain control of their breathing. Neither of them knows what to say and suddenly before anything can be said Aaron is taking a step back, his eyes wide "Aaron..." Jackson squeaks out but it's useless because Aaron turns on his heel and runs away, leaving behind a confused and slightly embarrassed Jackson.

Xxx

Jackson didn't see him for the next four days. He tried calling, no answer. He tried texting, no reply. He thought about going to his house again but thought better of it before actually going through with it. He was sure Aaron wouldn't be best pleased if he were to turn up there.

Jackson couldn't get him out of his mind though, him or that kiss. That kiss that he continually repeated in his mind, over and over again. It was so good, he longed for a second one although he was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen. Although, the more he thought about the kiss the more he couldn't decide who kissed who. Had he kissed Aaron or had Aaron kissed him? Nothing about Aaron said 'gay' though but then, he was pretty sure nothing about him said 'gay' either. He was beyond confused.

It was Wednesday before he saw Aaron, Wednesday before Aaron turned up at school. As much as he tried to deny it, his heart beat a little faster upon seeing him, he felt somewhat happier. Aaron just had that effect on him. He saw him but what he saw next was far from making him happy. It was outside the school gates, he was still inside his car but Aaron was standing at the bus stop with some girl. Slowly he got out of the car, he couldn't take his eyes off of them and two seconds later they were kissing, in fact they were quite literally all over each other. His heart sank into his chest and he turned away, he hoped by turning away the pain that he felt would subside but it didn't.

The first class on Wednesday was a class that Jackson shared with Aaron. For the past month he loved that class but today, today he didn't want to turn up, but he did because he kinda liked that class. For the past month Aaron had been sitting next to him to, another thing he enjoyed, he hoped there was someone he could sit beside today though, he didn't want to have to sit beside him.

Unfortunately for him though, there was only one table free by the time he got to class, having been held up by one of his friends, Aaron hadn't arrived yet, his only hope now was that Aaron would skip it but even he knew he wasn't that lucky. Just as he thought, ten minutes later, late as usual Aaron stumbled throw the door giving the teacher some excuse about the bus being late. He stops short when he realises that the only spare seat is right next to Jackson though. Jackson watches as his eyes widen and he takes a deep breath before slipping into the vacant chair without so much as a look towards him.

They sit next to each other and it's tense. Extremely, Aaron is clearly trying to make sure not one part of his body brushes against that of Jackson's and he sits rigid the whole way through the class. Jackson wants to talk to him, really he does but he has no clue what to say to him. When the bell rings for end of class Aaron jumps up and runs out the door. Leaving Jackson even more confused that he had been.

It's lunchtime before Jackson sets eyes on him again and this time he has to drag him bodily off of another student and pull him away.

"What the hell was that?" Jackson asks as he drags a reluctant Aaron away "get off of me" Aaron snaps, pulling away from him. Jackson lets go, not wanting to be on the receiving end of whatever Aaron was about to dish out.

"You're just going around starting fights? What the hell?"

"I can do what I want" Aaron says as he paces, clearly wanting to be anywhere rather than in the presence of Jackson.

"Yeah, right" Jackson scoffs, rolling his eyes "Should have just left you"

"Don't know why you didn't"

"Because you're my mate" Jackson points out and it's Aaron's turn to scoff "You're not my mate" he points out "Mates don't go around kissing each other" he throws out, pulling what he hopes to be a disgusted face.

Jackson could have let it slide, let him walk away but he wasn't taking the blame for the kiss, it takes two to tango, so to speak. Before Aaron could move away Jackson grabbed his arm, spinning him around "I didn't kiss you" he states

"Are you saying I kissed you?"

"You didn't pull away!" Jackson points out "until we were both breathless if I remember"

Aaron glares at him, he couldn't deny it. It was the truth but he had to act revolted right? Jackson probably was.

"And as far as I can remember I was the only one drinking, you hadn't had anything to drink had you?"

No, he hadn't but Aaron stayed silent. He was about to admit to it "So if that's why your acting like a prized Pratt and all over that girl at the bus stop this morning you have nothing to worry about!"

"What?"

"I'm not about to tell anyone Aaron, why would I?"

Aaron shrugs, he hadn't thought about it. All he had thought about though was Jackson. In the four days that he hadn't seen him that he'd ignored him; he had missed him like mad. Thought about him every second. He'd latched on to Holly, his best friend's sister hoping that she could make him forget about him but it didn't happen. He only thought about him more. When he kissed Holly he wished it was Jackson he was kissing but it wasn't and he'd have to get used to that.

They were standing closer, closer than they should have been. So close that their chests were almost touching. For the second time within a week, their eyes locked and they both knew what was coming, it was obvious, it was clear. Their heads moved closer, their lips moved even closer still, eyes were still locked on each other. Both of them knew it was coming and if they had wanted to stop it, they could have but neither of them did and the next thing they knew their lips had met and that was it.

The thin line between friendship and pent up lust had snapped it was gone. Aaron stepped in closer, aching to feel Jackson's body against his own, running his tongue across Jackson's bottom lip, begging entrance, it didn't take long for Jackson to realise what he wanted and give it to him.

This time it was Jackson who pulled away, coming to his senses first. He wasn't about to let Aaron play with him. Placing both hands on the other boy's chest Jackson pushed him back, receiving a groan in disappointment from Aaron. Jackson stood there staring "What the hell was that?"

Aaron faced him, he thought about running away but what was the point? The next time he saw him they would probably end up kissing again anyway.

"I think we just kissed" Aaron says. Surprising even himself at how calm he sounds. He should be freaking out but it was Jackson and there was no one around.

"Are you going to class?" Jackson asks upon hearing the bell

"Wasn't planning on it, you?"

"Probably not" Jackson informs him "I think we have stuff to talk about"

"Like what?"

"Like the fact we keep kissing each other, I mean, why's that?"

Aaron shrugs "Don't know" he says before adding "Are you gay?"

"Are you?" Jackson counters.

Aaron shrugs and looks away, not admitting anything and suddenly Jackson is stepping closer to him again and Aaron's gaze drops to his lips, Jackson laughs out loud at the gesture.

"Yeah, you're not gay"

Aaron scowls at him but before he could get angry Jackson says "It's a good thing I am too, huh?"

"You're gay?" Aaron asks, in a tone that says he's clearly not believing the other lad "I am"

"You don't look gay" he says, pulling a face and Jackson can't help but laugh "and you do?"

Aaron shrugs and he wants to say 'I'm not' but he can't quite bring himself to, so he shrugs instead. It's his default answer usually anyway to questions he doesn't want to answer.

"You're stupid" Jackson states

"You're thick" Aaron retorts and they both grin at each other. "So if we're not going back to class what we going to do?"

Aaron shrugs again "anyone in at yours?"

Looking at his watching, Jackson answers "Probably not, wanna go there and talk?"

Aaron nods and together they head towards Jackson's house.

Xxx

They spoke until Jackson's parents came home, Hazel was the first. Being a teacher herself she'd fixed them with a stern glare and said "You two better not have been skiving off school"

"We haven't" Jackson answered her quickly but being his Mother she didn't believe him one little bit "just don't do it here yeah? I have a reputation as a teacher you know"

Jackson rolled his eyes and grabbed Aaron's arm before telling his Mum they were going to his room, she just mumbled something about whether or not his friend would be staying for dinner and let them go.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Jackson asked him and Aaron shrugged, leaving Jackson to make up his own mind whether or not that was a yes and he called out to his Mother "he's staying"

Inside his room, there were alone but both were still aware of the woman downstairs. Aaron dropped himself down onto the bed and watched as Jackson placed his IPod into the speakers and turned on the music.

The time they had had alone in the house had allowed them to get a lot of talking done. About what they were feeling, what they were going through and Aaron finally admitted to being gay but not being happy about it. He wasn't happy about it but he wanted Jackson, he also admitted that.

"I don't want anyone to know" Aaron blurts out "not yet"

Jackson turns, a soft smile on his face "I know" he says "I don't either. I'm not ready to tell my Dad yet. My mum, she'd be fine but my dad, I'm not too sure about him"

"I couldn't care less what my Dad thinks" Aaron tells him "Haven't seen him in years, don't talk to me Mam all that much, there's only Paddy really and my mates"

Jackson didn't really want to talk about who would and who wouldn't like the fact that they were gay, it was too depressing. He stepped closer towards Aaron, standing himself between his legs and Aaron looks up at him. His blue eyes sparking up at him and a small smile on his face "What?" he asks with a shrug.

"Just looking" Jackson answers honestly because he was, just looking. Aaron, when he wasn't being the bad boy with a constant scowl on his face, he was actually really hot. He couldn't actually believe that he was gay and that if he wanted him he could have him.

"You're mental"

"Maybe" Jackson agrees because it could be true and a couple of seconds later he kisses him, within seconds Aaron is responding, kissing him back eagerly, his hands moving to Jackson's hips, pulling him closer.

Xxx

Their affair, or relationship whatever you wanna call it continued in secret, it was far from easy, far both of them, little did they know that sooner or later they were going to be tested beyond belief.

Xxx

A/N - REVIEWS PLEASE! :) LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW


	11. Dust

**Dust**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - I know this took a while to be posted and it's all Katie's fault. Blame Katie, she's slow and easily distracted. _

* * *

><p>"Why?"<p>

Jackson was in the kitchen of Smithy making himself a packed lunch to take to work with him. He was working nights on a refit for a company, him and a few other guys he had had to recruit to do the job, it was the first night and he had to be there early but Aaron wasn't making it all that easy.

"Aaron" he sighed, putting down his butter knife and his shoulders sag forward. They had been over this exact thing time and time again for the past two days. He had only accepted the job two days ago and Aaron was less than impressed.

"You moaned at me until I got Cain to give me time off, then two days later you take up this?" the young mechanic snapped, annoyed at being dumped for work especially when Jackson was the one complaining about the lack of time they had been spending together.

"It's only for five days" the builder reminds him as Hazel, who had been sitting at the table witnessing the exchange shoves her son out of the way saying "I'll make this" she looks between the two of them "You two sort out you're little lovers' tiff alright?" she gives Jackson a hard push towards the teenager and he glares at her. He loves her but he hates when she butts into their relationship and he knows Aaron does too.

"Come on!" he says pulling on Aaron's tshirt, pulling him into the living room where no one currently was.

"That's right" Aaron says sarcastically "do as Mummy says"

Jackson ignores the sarcastic comment. The last thing he wants to do before starting nightshift for the first night is argue with Aaron. It'll only put him in a bad mood and he hates being in a bad mood at work.

"Aaron. It's good money" Jackson says once he's closed the door leading between the kitchen and the living room "That's the reason I took it, I'm making two hundred a night. I'm not turning that down because you're throwing a tantrum"

"£200 a night?" Aaron asks, this was the first time had heard that fact, he didn't think he minded as much now. He could spent give nights without him if it was going to bag them a thousand pound for the five nights, right? He was sure he could.

Jackson nods

"You didn't tell me you were getting that" Aaron complains, part of him doesn't want to back down but part of him already is "I'm telling you now" he states, stepping closer "I wouldn't have taken it otherwise, I was the one that told you to take time off, wasn't I?"

Aaron nods, all the fight had left him now, and he couldn't bring himself to argue over it anymore. "I only got a week off" Aaron feels he has to remind his other half "That leaves us what? 2 days and you'll be knackered"

Jackson takes a deep breath; Aaron does have a point "Won't Cain just let you start your week off next week?"

Aaron gives him a look

"Alright, what about Debbie? It is her business after all"

Aaron laughs "I'm not going to ask Debbie after asking Cain. I don't have a death wish" he points out "We'll work something out, right?"

Jackson nods and closes the last remaining few feet of distance between the two of them and hooks his arms around the teenagers neck "Yep" he says with a genuine smile "Even if I need to be knackered at work tomorrow night we'll manage to spend time together. This was my idea and my fault it's being wasted"

Aaron's hands link at the bottom of Jackson's back, pulling the builder's body closer to his. For a couple of seconds they just stand there, losing themselves in the other's eyes, both content just to stand there and look at each other. Aaron moves forward, slowly and presses the faintest of kisses against Jackson's lips before pulling back and saying "what time will you be back tomorrow morning then?"

"I'll finish about eight, shouldn't take me more than half an hour to get home"

"I'll still be in bed at that time" Aaron points out, to which Jackson laughs "what?"

"You'll be in bed until at least twelve" Jackson points out "it's hard enough getting you up at that time for work, never mind anything else"

Before Aaron can respond to that the door to the living room from the kitchen is opened and Hazel pops her head around the door frame "Everything OK?" she asks "You haven't fallen out with each other again have you?"

Detangling himself from Aaron Jackson turns around and smirks "We're good Mum" he reassures her

"Good" she says with a nod of her head "I never know with you two, you're up, you're down, you're cold and then you're hot again. It drives me nuts"

Aaron pulls a face and grabs Jackson's sleeve, pulling him back through to the kitchen "shouldn't you be going?" he asks, wanting to get far away from Hazel before she could say anything more about their up and down relationship.

"In a rush to get rid of me now are you?"

"Well" Aaron says with a smirk "You're leaving me anyway, might as well get it over with, eh?"

Jackson rolls his eyes and scans the kitchen, looking for his lunch "this what you're looking for?" his Mother asks, handing him a bag. He grins "Thank you you're a lifesaver" with that he kisses her on the cheek and heads for the front door, snatching his keys up as he goes. Aaron follows him out and leans against the door frame.

"Sorry"

"I'm over it"

"Really?" Jackson asks not sounding convinced by that and Aaron shrugs "not much I can do about it, is it? You need to make money to take me on holiday"

"I'll text you later"

"Make sure you don't wake me up, I'll be asleep at some point you know"

"As if sending you a text could wake you up" Jackson points out "Pretty sure a bomb wouldn't even do that"

"Yeah, yeah, see you later"

Aaron stands at the door until the van has disappeared out of his sight then, with a sigh, he swings the front door closed and steps back into the kitchen.

Hazel is stood against the kitchen counter, staring at him as he walks back into the kitchen "What?" he asks after realising that she's not about to stop staring at him anytime soon. She clearly has something to say to him.

"You should have done that"

"Done what?" he genuinely has no idea what the hell she is talking about.

"Made him lunch"

Aaron scoffs and makes his way back out of the kitchen, he was going to have a can but now he's going to the Woolpack, anything to get away from that woman "Uh no" Aaron states "I'm his boyfriend, not his Mother" with that he walks out of Smithy and slams the door behind him. He keeps waiting on the day that she goes back off of her travels; the day can't come quick enough for him really.

Xxx

At half eight the next morning Aaron's sleep was disturbed. First by the sound of the door opening, usually this wouldn't have bothered him but subconsciously he had been listening, waiting on Jackson and second his sleep was disturbed by the bed dipping and the duvet being pulled from his body for a short period of time, enough time to allow the cold morning air to get to him though.

"You're freezing" Aaron complains sleepily as Jackson slides up against his warm body, he tries to pull away but Jackson's grip is firm, he's going nowhere.

"You'll warm me up, right?" Jackson mumbles, he's tired. He's had a hard night and all he wants to do is sleep, preferably next to Aaron for as long as possible.

Aaron turns, intent on doing just that and possibly keeping him awake in the process but once he's settled on his side and he's facing his lover he notices that Jackson is already fast asleep. Rolling his eyes he leans forward, pressing a soft, tender kiss onto Jackson's forehead before dropping his own head down onto the pillow next to Jackson's and following him back into the land of nod.

Xxx

It's half eleven when Aaron wakes up again and Jackson is still fast asleep, only this time he's no longer facing him he has rolled over and is practically on the edge of the bed. He contemplates wakening him up but, he's only been asleep for around two to three hours, he wasn't that cruel, he could manage without him for a couple of hours. He'd managed it the previous night, although, if he was honest with himself sleeping all night in a bed that didn't also contain Jackson was a little weird. He hadn't done it in so long, it was just strange to him, he had felt much better once Jackson had crawled in at half past eight that morning.

He pulled himself from the bed and headed in the general direction of the shower, it wasn't the start of Jackson's day but it was the start of his, he had to find ways of keeping himself entertained. He was sure he could find something.

Xxx

Aaron was sat at the table eating the lasagne prepared by Hazel when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It could only be one person as everyone else was out at the Woolpack or somewhere.

"Up finally are you?" he called out just as Jackson rounded the corner.

"You should have woken me up" Jackson complains as he rubs his eyes, he's only wearing boxers and Aaron can't help but eye him up. He was only human after all.

"And listen to you moan? No thanks"

Jackson reaches over Aaron and snatches a couple of chips from his plate "yours is in the oven" he tells him, pulling his plate away.

"Don't tell me you cooked" Jackson says as he pulls the oven open "No, your Mum did"

"Thought so" Jackson grins, he touches the food, it's still warm, so he drops down into one of the empty chairs opposite Aaron.

When he's done eating Aaron watches Jackson eat, he could move, go watch some TV or go out and see Adam but Jackson will be leaving for work soon and he's barely seen him, actually he hasn't seen him, not really, all day.

Jackson looks up from his food and smirks "I know I'm hot Aaron but you've seen me before"

Aaron scowls at him but can't help but smile "What time are you leaving?"

"Half seven"

"What time is it now?"

"Just after six" Jackson informs him "I have to shower, make lunch and get ready, I can do that"

"You don't have to make lunch"

"No? Did my Mum make it again?"

"No" Aaron says, a blush creeping up over his features "I did" the smile that forms on Jackson's face at those words makes Aaron's heart skip a beat "You made me lunch?"

"I had a spare few minutes, it's no big deal"

It was a big deal, it was a big deal to him and Jackson wanted to make a big deal out of it but he didn't, for Aaron because he knows he doesn't like a fuss "cheers, I just have to shower and get ready then"

"Alone?"

"Sorry?"

"Are you showering alone" Aaron asks and Jackson shrugs "I have to leave at half seven"

"That's an hour and a half" Aaron points out "We won't take that long"

"We better not" Jackson says, standing and grabbing Aaron's hand, dragging him towards the bathroom.

In the end he wasn't late and it was no thanks to Aaron, he tried to keep him back, well keep him in the shower but Jackson managed to convince him to let him go, at reluctantly he agreed.

Xxx

After his second night of night shift Aaron didn't see Jackson at all the next day. It bothered him. It bothered him a lot. He hoped to catch him before he left for work but Adam had asked for his help on the farm and by the time he had gotten back from Butler's Jackson was gone. It pissed him off.

The morning after the third night and Aaron didn't wake when Jackson got into bed that morning. When he woke up he wanted to wake him to but he looked so tired and so comfortable that he couldn't bring himself too instead he got out of bed, made his way downstairs and made himself something to eat and made Jackson's lunch. It had kinda become his routine, as long as no one else was around anyway.

He was in the living room waiting until Jackson came down for dinner but at twenty past seven he heard him bounding down the stairs "You're going already?"

"I just woke up" the builder explained "last night was tiring"

"I haven't seen you in two days Jackson, come on!"

"There's only three more night Aaron, come on. Don't start alright? I'll see you in the morning" with that Jackson grabbed his lunch off of the counter top and dropped a kiss onto Aaron's waiting lips "see you tomorrow" with that Jackson walks out of the house and a few seconds later Aaron hears the roar of the van as it pulls out of the drive.

"Damn it!" he swears, thumping his fist against the door frame. He's taken a week off of his work for what? To spend sat in the Woolpack or watching Jackson sleeping? It was annoying him, he wanted to spend at least some time with Jackson. There was only one thing for it. If Jackson was working and he couldn't spend time with him at home then Aaron would have to go to his work. It wouldn't be that bad would it? Jackson would mind. That's what he would do, he wanted to be with Jackson and the only way it seemed like he would be able to do that was to go to his refit.

Xxx

He knew that Jackson and the guys that were running it were more than likely the only ones around but either way he didn't really care. Jackson was the foreman on this job, it was his business after all so he was the only one that could really complain about him being there and the chances of him doing that were extremely slim.

At half past eleven, after giving him enough time to start whatever he would need to start Aaron turned up at the site. The front door was open, obviously to give them air and no one was around, well at the front of the shop anyway. There was an empty chair in front of a table that had papers and whatnot littered across it, Jackson's stuff, Aaron recognised it. Instead of going searching around a building he didn't know Aaron opted to sit in the seat he guessed Jackson had been sitting in not so long ago, he was bound to come back sooner or later.

He had been sitting there, with his feet up on the edge of the table, arms behind his head casually comfortable for around five minutes when someone he didn't know approached him.

"Uh, who are you?"

Aaron looks up at the guy but doesn't say anything, he just scowls before turning his attention back to the newspaper he had been reading "mate you can't be here" again Aaron ignores him. "Am I gonna have to get someone to get rid of you?"

Aaron looks at him again and this time he smirks but doesn't say anything, just turns his attention back to his newspaper "mate, move eh? It's not safe for you to be sitting around here. I'm sorry if you have nowhere to go but you can't sit here"

Aaron pulls a face; did he look like a homeless tramp? He didn't think so. "Jase, what's up?" Aaron heard someone else call out from behind the guy.

"Some guy here won't move or tell me why he's here, gonna have to let Jackson know and call the police or something"

The guy who Aaron couldn't see at first appeared at the side of this 'Jase' guy and laughed "I don't think Jackson is going to do that" he explains

"Why not?"

Aaron is sure he knows this other guy, he recognises him but he isn't sure from where "cause he's his boyfriend"

Aaron turns to Jase once more and smirks "Alright Aaron?" the other guy says shaking his head and smiling

"Yeah, you?" and try as he can Aaron cannot remember this other guys name "Jackson around?"

"I'm good mate yeah, Jackson didn't say you'd be coming around, coming to give us a hand are you?"

Aaron laughs at that "No that's-" he's cut off mid conversation by the other guy saying "Jase, go get Jackson"

"Sorry, you were saying? Come to help yeah? We could do with it; the owners of this place are a joke"

"No" Aaron tells him "I'll stick to fixing cars"

Aaron and the guy whose name he can't quite remember make small talk for the next few minutes, mostly about the job and how it's going until Jackson turns up "What are you doing here?"

Aaron turns towards the sound of his boyfriend's voice "I had nothing better to do and it's not like you do a lot of work anyway"

The guy laughs and says "He's got your number" Jackson glares at the guy and says "I could sack you you know"

"You could but you love me too much"

"Don't you have work to be doing Shaun?" Jackson says giving him a pointed look "Aww" he grins "I get it, you want to be left alone with lover boy here"

Aaron watches the whole exchange with a scowl on his face. They seemed a little too friendly for him, had something gone on between them before? Did this Shaun fancy his boyfriend? Shaun walks off back towards the back of the shop and Aaron turns to his boyfriend "Hi" Jackson says with a smile, a smile that Aaron returns as he moves his body in closer.

"Hey" he smiles and without thinking, without looking to see who could possibly be watching he leans forward and brushes his lips against those of his lovers, letting out a soft, contented moan as he does so.

"What are you doing here?" he asks once he pulls away and Aaron shrugs "Just thought I'd come hang out, not a problem is it? I'm not interrupting anything?"

"What could you be interrupting?"

Aaron shrugs

"You're not talking about Shaun are you?" Jackson asks, he could read Aaron like a book and again the mechanic shrugs "I have a thing for a mechanic's" he tells him "builders' don't do it for me"

"Good to know"

"They do it for you though, right?" Jackson asks with a grin and Aaron wants to deny it but he can't although he's not sure of it is builders or just one because Jackson, as far as he's aware is the only builder he's ever been attracted to.

"Oh yeah" Aaron retorts with a grin "Dust, dirt and the general state of you after working really gets me going"

"I'm fully aware of that" Jackson says side stepping his boyfriend and sitting down on the now vacant chair "I was sitting there" Aaron complains

"It's my chair" Jackson points out "It's where the I make all the decisions for this refit you know"

Rolling his eyes Aaron perches himself on the edge of the table and rests on of his feet in-between Jackson's legs on the chair

"How long are you hanging around for then?"

"In a hurry to get rid of me?"

"Don't be daft. I'm just wondering how long I have the pleasure of your company"

"Till morning?" Aaron shrugs "I have nothing better to do"

Jackson pulls a face at that "What?" Aaron snaps, did he not want to be with him "Nothing" Jackson says quickly "it's just...Not very professional is it? Bringing my boyfriend to work with me, I wouldn't let any of them bring their boyfriends or girlfriends"

"There's a reason for that"

"Oh yeah?"

"They don't own the company but if you want me to go..." Aaron starts, getting up and moving away. He hopes beyond hope that Jackson will follow or stop him because he know if he doesn't that he's just going to be in a bad mood, probably for some time to come.

"Sit down" Jackson barks quickly shaking his head "I'm glad you're here" he says "You can help me with the heavy lifting, saves me getting one of the guys to help me"

"Can't carry it on your own?" Aaron retorts sarcastically "Skinny little..."

"It's awkward" Jackson points out, pointing at the rows of shelving, bricks and other things that need to be moved "I'm not the weak one in this relationship"

Aaron ignores the comment in favour of asking his own question "Are you paying me?"

"Yeah. I'll pay you" Jackson says and Aaron's eyes widen in surprise before Jackson adds "In kind. In our bed"

Aaron thinks this over for a few minutes before slapping his hands together and saying "Where do I start?"

Jackson smiles and pulls Aaron towards him; pulling him down so he can drop a kiss onto his lips "thanks for coming" he says sincerely "I've missed you"

"Don't be soft, come on" Aaron pulls Jackson up off of his seat "Where do we start?"

The remainders of Jackson's nightshifts have an extra worker in the form of Aaron. He leaves with him every night and falls into bed with him every morning. It wasn't how either of them wanted to spend Aaron's week off but they were together and really that's all that mattered to either of them.

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><p>AN - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? REVIEW PLEASE! :)


	12. Afterlife

**Afterlife**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me they belong to ITV _

_A/N - I'm not sure if this is happy or not, let me know. _

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><p>"Alright?"<p>

Aaron jumped at the unexpected noise, at the unexpected noise. He sat up, he was in his room on his bed and Jackson was sat at the end of it. Jackson. He wasn't in the chair but he didn't look happy.

"I'm dreaming aren't I?" he asks although somewhere inside him he already knows the answer. Jackson is dead. There was no way he could be sitting at the edge of his bed inside Smithy plus there was the fact that he no longer lived in Smithy.

The next sound Aaron hears is heaven to his ears and it's the sound of Jackson's laugh. Aaron hadn't heard that laugh, that genuine laugh, for such a long time he was sure he had forgotten what it sounded like but hearing it again, he suddenly remembered. It made his stomach flip.

"Do you dream about me often?"

Aaron scoffs and rolls his eyes, throwing himself back onto his bed and says "You wish" A deadly silence follows the statement which after a few moments has Aaron opening one eye just to check whether or not Jackson was there. This was unlike any dream he had ever had before.

"Still here" Jackson informs him with his trademark smirk in place, which causes Aaron to smile "just checking" he says "You usually only disappear when I wake up anyway"

"So you do dream about me?"

"Every god damn day" Aaron admits, he does. Every night when his eyes close he knows that in his dreams he'll see Jackson and if he's honest it's the best part of his day. "Although we've never really had a chat like this before"

"That's because this isn't a dream"

Aaron's eyebrows lift, he gives Jackson a look and Jackson clarifies his meaning "I mean, obviously you're not awake but I am here, this is me. It's not a dream"

"You're... Here?" he asks, his voice breaking. He wants to reach out, he wants to touch him but he's scared incase when he goes to do that he wakes up and it's just a dream. Jackson nods

"Why?" Aaron demands to know.

"I figured you needed me"

"Needed you!"

"You look like you're about to implode"

"And what do you think you're going to do about it?" Aaron asks, well, it's more of a challenge.

"I'm hoping to make you feel a little better"

Aaron absorbs this information slowly, nodding his head almost robotically "Right" he says quietly and Jackson has to strain to hear it. He's confused, Aaron seems to have zoned out on him and suddenly without warning Aaron has jumped to his feet and has moved towards the window, gazing out of it.

Xxx

"I killed you" he says

Jackson watches his from his spot on the bed and sighs "I asked you to help me. I was miserable Aaron"

"And are you happy now?" Aaron demands to know, rounding on him "Are you happy now that you're dead?"

They stare at each other for the longest time. Aaron waits on an answer, Jackson not knowing how to answer him.

"Well?" Aaron demands

"I can walk, I'm no longer paralysed"

"Are you happy"

Jackson shrugs

"Because I'm not. I miss you like mad. I just want you back. I don't want your picture or to stand at your headstone. I want you"

Jackson looks away, biting his lip to stop the tears falling down his face "I miss you too Aaron" he admits "Everyday. I'm waiting on you" he stands from the bed and makes his way towards the mechanic. He's turned back around and is gazing out towards the unmoving village.

"I'm happy" he says reaching out and placing his hands on Aaron's arms, he feels him tense under his touch "but if I was with you physically with you I'd be happier"

Aaron's head falls forward and he can't see them, he isn't making a noise but Jackson knows he's crying "You didn't kill me Aaron. You helped me"

"I killed you" he says turning around, facing him. His blue eyes staring into the deep brown of the man he loves "I killed you and I should be punished"

"Is that why you're lashing out at everyone? Everyone who loves you?"

"That jury should have sent me down"

"For what?" Jackson demands to know "for doing something that I wanted?"

Aaron shrugs

"I didn't want you to get sent down Aaron. I didn't want anything to happen to you. I loved you. I still love you"

"And you wanted to leave me"

"I wanted to be free. Trapped in my own body I wasn't free"

"What about me? I only wanted you"

Jackson gently cups the side of Aaron's face, running his thumb across his bottom lip. Aaron turns towards his hand, closing his eyes and relishing the touch he hadn't felt in a long time. "I wasn't me anymore Aaron. I was depressed. I just wanted out; it didn't mean I didn't want you"

Their lips met and what started off as tender and sweet quickly turned fierce and demanding before they were pulling at one another's clothes and falling back onto the bed.

Xxx

It felt like hours before they were spent, before he'd have enough of Jackson, they couldn't do much more. He'd never had enough but they couldn't go one more round, they were spent and Aaron was getting worried that sooner or later he would wake up and it would be over.

"What's up?" Aaron hears Jackson say and feels his fingertips running up and down his spine, he shivers at the touch and turns around to look at him, smiling.

"I don't want to wake up"

Jackson smiles "Cause then you'll go back to pushing everyone that cares about you away? And back to breaking the promises you made to me?"

Aaron turns, gives him a look and Jackson explains "You said you'd look after my Mum" he reminds him "calling her a murderer and trashing my grave wasn't a good way to do that"

"She convinced me it was what you wanted"

"No" Jackson says "I convinced you. I tried to dump you remember? That's why you finally gave in"

Biting his lip Aaron says "They showed a video diary in court"

Jackson nods "I know" he says "I'm never far away from you Aaron. I couldn't show myself when you're awake because it's not possible and you would freak out but I'm always with you"

"You said there was years of fun ahead of you"

Jackson looks away for a minute "that was a good day" he tells him "I had them but he bad outnumbered the good"

"I should have watched all your videos. I wouldn't have gone through with it if I'd watched that video"

"I asked you not to and after the one you watched about me wanting to die, did you really want to watch anymore of them?"

Sliding from the bed Aaron grabs his boxers "this isn't real" he states "it's all in my head. I'm going to wake up and you're not going to be there. I can't handle that. I killed you! I want someone to hurt me for that"

Jackson watches him pace and up, he can tell that the mechanic is becoming more and more agitated and angry. He slips from the bed too, pulling on his clothes as he does so. "Aaron, Aaron stop!" he commands grabbing his arms and stopping him from walking.

"You need to stop doing this. You're hurting everyone that loves you, everyone that wants to help you"

"I only want you" he breaks and tears fall from his eyes "I just want you back! I shouldn't have done it! I should have gotten you help"

"You helped me the only way in which I wanted help Aaron. You did what I wanted. You loved me enough to do that"

"I don't believe you still want to be dead. Don't you miss it?"

"I miss you and I miss my Mum but I'll see you again, sooner or later"

Aaron scoffs

"And with you I hope its later, much later. Like fifty years or so later"

Again Aaron scoffs

"But if you keep going down this road it won't be. You're going to self destruct"

Jackson hold him until his tears have stopped, they're wrapped in each other's arms. Aaron clinging on like he never wants to let go.

Xxx

"They called you a burden" Aaron says after the longest silence "They said I wanted you gone because I didn't want you to be a burden for the next fifty years" Jackson runs his hands through his short hair, comforting him without words. Aaron pulls back though and looks into the big brown eyes before him "That wasn't it. I wanted you. I didn't care about the accident. I loved you. You know that right?"

Jackson does know that. At first, not long after the accident he thought himself a burden to him which is why he continually pushed him away, that and he didn't think Aaron loved him but after Aaron had declared his love for him Jackson's opinion changed. His opinion changed because Aaron seemed to change. He was more grown up really and he could see, just by looking at him how much he loved him and through all the things he done for him daily. He could tell how much he loved him by how hard it was for him to hear about his plans, how set he had been on not allowing it to happen and how he only agreed when he had tried to dump him. If he hadn't tried to dump him, if he hadn't told him they should ignore each other Jackson knew that Aaron would never have agreed to it. He didn't want to be without him and deep down Jackson didn't want to leave him either but he couldn't live the way he was living.

"Of course I know that Aaron. So did the jury, that's why they found you not guilty"

"The jury were stupid, I didn't defend myself. Why the hell didn't they send me down?"

"Clearly they listened to me, at least someone does, huh?"

"I listen to you!" Aaron states "Sometimes"

Jackson smiles "How about you listen now?" he asks "because I don't know how much more time we have"

Aaron's eyes widen in panic "No" he says grabbing onto him "You can't go, not yet!"

"I have to go sooner or later Aaron and you have to start moving on, you have to let go of this guilt you feel"

"Move on?" he demands "Move on like... See someone else?" Aaron couldn't believe what he was hearing, what the hell? Did Jackson think it would be that easy for him to move on? What was he meant to do? Just jump into bed with the first guy that caught his eye? That would be pretty hard because he's pretty sure he's banned from Bar West.

As if reading his thoughts Jackson says "You're not banned from Bar West, you should be after that stunt you pulled but Tim knows why you did what you did" Tim was a barman at Bar West who also happened to be one of Jackson's friends "He won't ban you, for me"

"I couldn't care less" Aaron says with a shrug "I have no reason to go back there"

"Aaron, maybe not right now but later, in a few months you'll want someone else. You'll need someone else. You're nineteen; you're not going to be single for the rest of your life"

"I wouldn't be single if I hadn't killed my boyfriend" the mechanic points out.

Jackson sighs, he doesn't want to say "You didn't kill me" because he'll only be repeating himself. He rubs his hands up and down Aaron's back, comforting him or at least trying to. "I shouldn't have given you that drink. Your Mum wasn't going to"

"If you didn't Aaron I'd be depressed right now or probably refusing to eat"

"I would make you eat" Aaron states "At least I'd have you"

"You have me now" Jackson tells him "You can't see me or touch me but I'm with you. I'm with you when you do all those stupid things and I can't stop you and I have to watch you do them. That's why I'm here. I couldn't stand by and just watch that anymore. Even if I'm not meant to sneak into your dreams and tell you that I love and miss you"

"So you know all the crap I've been up to then huh? Not just messing with your grave"

Jackson nods

"I went back and fixed it" he says "I was so ashamed of myself. Did you see that?"

Jackson nods once more and cups the side of Aaron's face, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb "I've watched everything. I've never left your side"

"What about your Mum?" Aaron asks, why was Jackson spending so much time hanging around him?

"I pop in every now and then but you" he says with a smile "You're like the missing part of me. I love you. I need to be around you, make sure you're not doing something completely stupid"

"I did that on the 7th of June"

"Aaron I don't have much more time. I kind of got distracted by that" he nods at the bed and Aaron grins "Yeah, good distraction though, right?"

Jackson agrees with a smile but says "You have to let me go. Let go of the guilt. Let go of it all. I want you to live. I need you to live"

"Everyone keeps telling me to move on"

"They're right"

Aaron pulls away and starts to pace "How can I move on Jackson? I'll never feel the same way about someone as I do you and say I do meet someone and they ask me about my ex, when I say 'Oh I killed him' what do you think they're going to do?"

"Well don't tell them you killed your ex because you'd be lying. You explain the situation. I fell for you, someone else will"

Aaron failed to believe that, mostly because he didn't want anyone to fall for him. He wanted Jackson back.

"I have to go Aaron"

"No"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because you're about to wake up, we've been here for a long time"

"I don't want to wake up"

Jackson smiles "You're not going to have a choice. Your Mum is about to wake you up"

Aaron scrunches his face up "what do you mean?"

"Just don't freak out at her alright? She's worried. Go home with her. Let her help you and remember that I love you"

"Don't leave me again" Aaron begs, grabbing his hands, pulling his body towards him "You'll see me again, sooner or later"

"No" Aaron says before crashing his lips down onto Jackson's kissing him as if his life depended on it.

Xxx

"What the!" Aaron bolted upright wiping his hand down his face. He was soaked. He looked up to see his Mother standing over him holding a now empty bucket. All he could think about was Jackson as he said "What the hell do you think you were doing?" he's angry. Not for the water that had soaked him but for the fact she had pulled him away from Jackson. He wanted to close his eyes again; he wanted to go back to Jackson.

"Zack said he spotted you here"

"So what?" Aaron demands getting to his feet "I can go where I want"

"Come home with me" she pleads and he stops to look at her, hearing Jackson's voice in his head. Telling him to listen, telling him to let her help him. He didn't want help, not really. He wanted to punish himself but Jackson, Jackson didn't want that. Even if it had just been a dream, although he didn't think it was.

"Ok" he says and her eyes widen, clearly not believing him "What?" she squeaks

"I'll come home with you"

"Really?"

Aaron nods

"What's with the change of heart?"

"Do you not want me to?" he asks "Cause I won't"

"No, no" she reassures him "I do" she throws her arm around his shoulder and he allows her to pull him into his side "What changed your mind"

"Jackson" he says simply and she looks at him, she wants to ask but she's scared to so she just nods and Aaron smiles. He feels the wind blow against the back of his neck, sending Goosebumps all over his body and he smiles.

Xxx

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? WANT THE NEXT ONE? LET ME KNOW?


	13. Naked

**Naked**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

* * *

><p>Aaron didn't like it. In fact Aaron hated it. He was currently trying to bite his tongue, play the good little boyfriend and not go off on one but it was hard. Joe, Jackson's carer had moved on around five months ago, he had decided to retrain which meant they had to find a new carer and Joe had recommended someone. Aaron, Hazel and Jackson were happy to go with someone who Joe recommended, they trusted him after all but now, five months later Aaron was regretting it.<p>

The new carers name was Randy, Aaron didn't like his name all that much to begin with, it provided him with hours of entertainment. His name was Randy, he's older than Aaron and slightly older than Jackson at 23, he's blonde, has brown eyes and he's almost six foot tall and to top it off, he was gay. A fact that Aaron really didn't like when he found out, which he didn't find out until around six weeks after he had started at Dale Head. That was weeks ago though and continued not to like the guy.

Lunch time and Hazel was working in the cafe with Bob, Aaron was looking forward to spending some time with Jackson, some time with it being just the two of them, he'd even cleared it with Debbie so that he could have the rest of the day off.

Jackson was in his chair in the living room when he walked through the door. Downstairs had been turned back into a living room around a year ago and Jackson's bedroom, well, their bedroom had been moved upstairs, and there was now a stair lift and a hoist to allow Jackson to get up and down the stairs. Aaron liked it, Jackson liked it too. It gave them privacy and time alone, away from Hazel, so Jackson only spent time in bed when he had to sleep, he wasn't in bed at any other time.

"Hey" Aaron called out upon walking through the door, letting Jackson know he was home. He heard the turning of the chair and their eyes locked. Jackson's eyes lit up at the sight of him and Aaron was pretty sure he would never get bored of seeing that.

"Hey" he returned with a beaming smile "Lunch time?"

Aaron nods and closes the distance between them, resting his hands on the arms of the chair as he lowers his lips to Jackson's, sharing a tender kiss. Their kiss however is interrupted by someone coughing to make their presence known. Aaron knows who is straight away and with a very reluctant sigh he pulls away from Jackson and turns to face the intruder "Can I help you?"

Randy smiles at him, in that way that makes Aaron want to punch him. "Don't mind me" he says and Aaron rolls his eyes saying "I wish" under his breath causing Jackson to glare at him, he just shrugged it off and said "Do you want something?"

Randy nods at Jackson "Was just about to get us lunch"

"Us?"

"Me and Jackson"

"You and Jackson" Aaron repeats, nodding his head. Jackson is watching him, wondering what's up with him. Jackson can read him like a book but before Jackson can say anything Aaron has started speaking again "It's alright" he says "I'm not going back to work, you get off. I'll do it"

Randy pulls a face, an annoying face and bites his lip "Uh..." he says looking at Jackson and Aaron too looks at Jackson, wondering why Randy was looking at him "We were kinda going out later too" Randy says and Aaron's eyes widen.

Aaron lets out a laugh and shakes his head, was this guy for real? "Well, now you're not"

"You can't just come in and disrupt our routine" Randy points out to Aaron, who is becoming more annoyed by the second. He crosses his arms over his chest and just stares at the carer wondering if he had some sort of death wish "just because you have a day off, you should have told us. It's not healthy"

"Ok" Aaron says "One, there's no 'us'" he says pointing between him and Jackson "You're his carer and second, he's my boyfriend. I can do what I want"

Jackson who had been uncharacteriscally quiet during the exchange spoke up "He's right Randy, you get going. No point hanging around here when I have him" he nods in Aaron's direction "You get off, do something you want to do with your day"

"I wanted to go to the cinema with you" he points out and Jackson feels bad "Tomorrow" he says "We can always go tomorrow, I'm sure Aaron is working all day then"

"Actually I'm off" Aaron says, he wasn't but come tomorrow morning he would be. Jackson frowns, he knew Aaron wasn't off tomorrow but with Randy in the room he let it slide. Randy frowns and his shoulders sag a little; he looks like a wounded puppy. "Alright" he says heading towards the hooks by the door and grabbing his jacket "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Yeah, bye"

"Can't wait" Aaron replies sarcastically but the door had closed before then and he didn't hear him.

Aaron turns to Jackson, clapping his hands together happily "So! What do you want to eat?"

Jackson gives him a look "What?" he asks and Jackson says "What was that?"

"I just wanted to spend some time with you" he tells him "alone, with Randy or your Mum. How often does that happen?"

"Every night"

Aaron shrugs "Well I wanted it to happen this afternoon too" he kisses him quickly "quit your whinging "What you wanting to eat?"

"Not fussed" Jackson says

"Alright, come with me and we can find something we both want to eat"

Jackson follows Aaron into the kitchen with a small smile on his face.

Xxx

After lying to Debbie Aaron managed to secure the day off, he just hoped she wouldn't question Jackson about his made up hospital appointment because then things could get awkward. Aaron now had the day off, which meant he would be around all day, he was sure the news would please Randy, who was due to turn up around half past nine, it was currently just going on nine and they were still in bed.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" Jackson asks, turning his head towards him. Aaron was propped up on his side, leaning on his arm for support "told you I had the day off"

"No, you told Randy" Jackson points out "I knew you didn't. You just like winding him up"

"Well it is easy"

"You don't have the day off Aaron, you would have told me before yesterday if you did"

Sometimes, Aaron hates how well Jackson knows him. How he can read him like a book "I do now" he states "We weren't that busy" throwing the covers from his body Aaron rolls out of the bed "right" he says trying to avoid whatever it was Jackson was about to say, he could see him thinking "We should really get up"

Ten minutes later they were downstairs and they were soon joined by Hazel "Alright boys" she smiled at them "What are you still doing here?" she questions, looking at Aaron.

"Day off"

"Oh, well. I've got supply teaching at half eleven. I better get ready for that, are you two alright"

"Yes" Aaron says with a sigh. He'd been living in Dale Head with Jackson and Hazel for over two years now but every single time he was going to be left alone with Jackson she would ask if he was alright or not.

Shooting Aaron a look Jackson says "We'll be fine Mum" he reassures her "and Randy will be here soon"

"Randy, great" Aaron had moved into the kitchen but he could still be heard, Hazel looked at her son "What's up with him?"

"No idea" Jackson answers but truthfully he was pretty sure he knew what was wrong with Aaron and it was stupid.

Hazel left and Aaron was still in the kitchen. Jackson made his way through, he was going to confront Aaron, make him tell him why he had such a problem with Randy but just as he got into the kitchen, the front door opened and in walked Randy.

"Just walk in why don't you" Aaron says coming out from the kitchen and stopping behind Jackson's wheelchair, Jackson had spun around to face his carer.

"Morning Aaron" Randy says with a forced smile. Aaron knows it's forced, he knows that Randy doesn't like him; it's obvious "Morning Jackson"

"Morning" Jackson smiles

Randy hangs his coat up and after having a chat with Jackson for a few minutes he stands up, Aaron is back in the kitchen making breakfast for himself and for Jackson. "Guess I should get breakfast under way then, eh?" he says standing up

"I think..." Jackson had just been about to say that he thinks Aaron has done it when Aaron appears "I've already got it sorted mate"

"What am I meant to do seen as how you're doing my job?"

"There's dishes through there if you want to make yourself useful eh?"

Jackson smiles apologetically at his carer for his boyfriends behaviour and as to not cause a big deal about it Randy walks out of the living room and into the kitchen.

"When will you start being nicer to him?" Jackson demands to know as Aaron sits down "I'm nice"

"You're horrible to him; you weren't like this with Joe"

"Joe wasn't annoying"

Jackson scoffs "No, what you mean to say is Joe wasn't gay"

"I couldn't give a crap that he's gay"

"You do" Jackson states "but you really, really shouldn't"

"Let's just eat yeah?"

Jackson nods but he's left wondering just why Aaron is so bothered by the fact that Randy is gay. It's not like he'd be interested in him, not anymore, not now. He has nothing to worry about on that front. Aaron knows what Jackson is trying to get at. He's trying to say that no one would look twice at him now, now that he was in a wheelchair and paralysed but Aaron wasn't stupid. He knew when someone was checking his boyfriend out, when someone was a little too friendly and a lot less professional and Randy was certainly one of those people. He clearly fancied Jackson, he could see it but Jackson couldn't.

At eleven o'clock, after a somewhat strained morning Aaron mobile rang. It was Adam asking what he was doing and asking if he was free to help shift some things around on the farm for a couple of hours as his Dad was away to the bank for something. He didn't want to leave Jackson, after all he had gotten the day off to spend with him but he didn't really want to be around Randy for much longer because he would punch him. After checking that Jackson was alright with it Aaron agreed and ten minutes later he was on his way up to Butler's farm.

Xxx

It wasn't late when Aaron finally made it home, he made a point of telling Adam he'd only help him until three, which in the end turned out to be half past four but he still got home at a decent time so he wasn't too bothered.

The house was quiet when he got home, with no sound apart from the TV and Randy was sitting on the sofa

"Where's Jackson?"

"Upstairs" he answers without taking his eyes off the TV screen "he was tired"

"Tired?" Aaron asks, not really believing it "Why would he be tired?"

"We had a fun packed afternoon"

Aaron's eyebrows shoot up "You what? What did you do?"

"Well he had to shower" Randy says not missing the look on Aaron's face at his words "then we did his exercises, can't let those muscles waste away can we?"

Aaron just nods, he senses that Randy has more to say "He's got a good body, Jackson" Aaron pulls a face but doesn't say anything "He looks good naked too right? I can just imagine how good he looked when he could walk"

Aaron actually couldn't believe what he was hearing "You what?" he demands, his tone turning aggressive as he advanced on the carer "Just saying, he's hot"

"Well don't you just say"

"My favourite part of the job, is when we have to shower or do his exercises, think it's his too. He likes me just as much as I like him"

Aaron is standing in front of Randy now, blocking his view of the TV, he's scowling and if he was Randy he thinks he would be at least a little intimidated but Randy didn't even look a little bit bothered.

"I know you don't like me" he states "Because I fancy your boyfriend mostly and I can see why but you know he's too good for you"

Aaron really can't believe what he's hearing "You what?" he asks "Jackson wouldn't look twice at you mate"

"Keep telling yourself that. Isn't that why you took the day off? Cause you wanted to be here? He sent you off to play with your mate so we could be alone"

Aaron's fists were clenching at the side of him and Randy got to his feet "Jackson probably wouldn't be too happy if you hit me" he points out "he'd probably throw you out. That's his biggest fear right? That you fly off the handle again? Do something stupid, like you did to get him in this condition in the first place?"

If Randy had punched him the blow wouldn't have hurt as much. Jackson had been talking to him about the crash? About what had happened before it, why? Why had he told a complete stranger, a complete stranger who clearly wanted rid of him, well he wasn't going anywhere.

"Think it's safe to say your sacked mate"

"Only Jackson can sack me" Randy points out "and he quite likes me. Doubt he'll believe you. He can see you're jealous, told me today"

Aaron is surprised that he's keeping his temper in check and he knows why he is and it's all because of the guy asleep in the bed upstairs.

"Get out of the house, before I throw you out and I promise you, you will be sacked, alright? There's a good lad" he taps him on the shoulder and climbs the stairs towards the bedroom he shares with Jackson.

Xxx

Aaron walked into the bedroom he shared with his boyfriend to find Jackson fast asleep. He couldn't help but smile at the sight. Jackson just brought a smile to his face.

He sits on the edge of the bed and looks at him, he just enjoys watching him sleep. When he's asleep he can pretend that nothing has changed and he's just asleep. He reaches out his hand to run it down his legs, over the duvet and that's when he realises that Jackson is topless. He lifts the covers back a little to realise that Jackson was completely naked. Anger surged through him once more. He hated someone else being close to Jackson, seeing him naked. He really hated it; he wished they weren't in this position. He loves Jackson and if he's honest he hates sharing him. He wishes he could be there all the time and that it was just them two but he knows it's not possible. He hates it.

They'd been together now for over two years and in that time Jackson has tried, repeatedly to push him away, telling him he shouldn't be stuck with him for the rest of his life but what it seemed to take Jackson a long time to figure out was that that's the way he wanted it. He wanted Jackson for the rest of his life. He loved him just as much now as he had two years ago, maybe even more in fact. He wouldn't leave him, he didn't want to. Their predicament was hard, of course it was but he wasn't about to run away from Jackson because of it, not then and definitely not now.

He heard the front door close and guessed it was Randy leaving. He knew he had to tell Jackson about what the guy had said. He couldn't have him around, not now, not now that he knew he fancied him; he'd drive himself insane whilst at work wondering what he was doing to him. It wouldn't be good for anyone. Jackson probably wouldn't believe him but he'd do everything in his power to make him believe it.

Kicking off his shoes he moved himself up the bed, laying on his side and facing his boyfriend, propped up on his arm. He wanted to wake him and he didn't want to, his mind was currently arguing with itself and eventually wakening him up won. Reaching on his hand he ran his finger around his jaw line and brushed his thumb over his lower lip. Jackson wasn't that much of a deep sleeper; the slightest thing would wake him. He had somehow gotten used to Aaron climbing onto the bed and making noises in the room because he no longer woke him up but he used to and it caused one or two tiffs.

Slowly Jackson's eyes opened and a small smile appeared on his face, which was quickly mirrored on Aaron's "Hey" he says

"Alright?" Aaron asks

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Not sure" Aaron answers "Not like you to sleep in the day though, is it?"

"I was just tired. Didn't sleep much last night and then this morning, the exercises and everything just kinda made me tired"

Aaron leans himself forward and kisses his boyfriend briefly, before pulling back and saying "how about we get you dressed and then get dinner?"

"Dressed?"

"You're naked" Aaron says through clenched teeth. "Why?"

"You'd have to ask Randy"

"Where is he?"

"I sent him home"

"In one piece?" Jackson asks picking up on Aaron's tone "Yeah"

Changing the subject Aaron gets up off the bed and goes to the wardrobe, pulling out clothes for Jackson. Jackson is watching him "Did something happen?"

"I'll tell you later?" Aaron asks and Jackson nods, whatever it is he knows he'll tell him and that now clearly isn't the time. Five minutes later and Jackson is dressed "Hey" he says softly to get Aaron's attention, which is granted immediately "Come here" when Aaron is close enough Jackson moves his head forward and captures Aaron's lips in a searing, breathtaking kiss and when they pull apart the both of them are breathless.

"What was that for?"

"Cause I love you" Jackson replies "You know that right?" Aaron nods "and if you don't like Randy and if you can't stand him being around we'll get rid of him. I'm not about to put some carer before you"

"Do you fancy him?" Aaron asks and as soon as the words are out of his mouth he regrets them but he has to know. The look on Jackson's face is enough of an answer though "Fancy him? No. He's my carer. Why would I fancy him when I have you?"

Aaron shrugs "come on, let's get downstairs" Aaron lifts him into his arms and throws him over his shoulder "no stair lift?" he asks

"This is quicker, don't mind do you?"

He didn't mind, far from it, he got a very good view of Aaron's ass.

Jackson is in his chair whilst Aaron makes dinner and it's not long before Hazel comes home "You move!" she tells him "I've had enough of your cooking, I'll do it"

"You've been at work all day" Aaron reminds her and she just rolls her eyes and tells him "I'm a woman, move" with that she pushes him out of the kitchen and he pulls a face, "Can we..." he doesn't get to finish because she shoves four cans into his hands and says "go" to the both of them.

Xxx

Aaron sits on the sofa whilst Jackson parks up at the side of him, he sticks a film on and they settle down to watch it whilst Hazel cooks. Half way into the movie Aaron looks at Jackson and smiles. Their lives aren't how they thought they would be and maybe, just maybe if he hadn't had the accident Jackson would have left him but Aaron likes to believe he wouldn't. Either way, with or without the accident they would still be together. They were perfect for each other, they fit together perfectly. They were fire and ice, complete opposites but they loved each other more than anything and because of that Aaron knows he can handle other people seeing his boyfriend in ways that he should only be seeing him.

They were good, they were happy and they were in love.

Xxx

A/N - REVIEW PLEASE! I'LL POST THE NEXT ONE QUICKER! :)


	14. Lullaby

**Lullaby**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters are not mine and I don't claim to own them._

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><p>He didn't know what time it was or what it was that woke him up but he turned over, his arm outstretched looking for his bed partner only to fall on cold sheets. He wasn't in bed and apparently he hadn't been in bed for quite some time. The sheets were freezing. He hadn't done a runner of that he was sure. Aaron was well past running, they had been together for ten years, neither one of them did any running from the other; they loved each other too much.<p>

He lay awake, waiting on Aaron coming back, thinking he was just in the bathroom or getting himself a drink but after around ten minutes he could hear the faint sound of a voice. A voice that sounded like it was singing.

Looking around the floor, for his boxers that had been discarded somewhere on it hours before, once found he pulled them on and slipped from the warm cosy bed out into the cool air of the hallway. He could hear the singing a little more clearly now, he could now make out exactly who the voice belonged to, it was Aaron, he couldn't help but smile at that.

"_Swing low, sweet chariot__, c__omin' for to carry me home"_

The singing was coming from the nursery, Aaron was singing to their daughter. That fact made his heart flutter a little as he padded, quietly, he didn't want to disturb Aaron's singing, well, he didn't want to stop it. They had decided to have kids around two years ago, it was a long process, they'd tried adoption and that had failed before finally settling on a surrogate and now, now their daughter was three months old but this was the first time Jackson had ever heard him singing to her. He couldn't help but wonder if this was a regular thing and he usually slept through it, although he was the one that usually got up with her because Aaron would and could sleep through anything.

"_Swing low, sweet chariot__, c__omin' for to carry me home"_

Jackson comes to a stop outside of their daughters room, the door is open a little but it's just enough for him to see Aaron. He's standing by the cot in just his shorts and cradling their daughter against his chest as he sung to her. Jackson couldn't help but wonder what filming this and showing it to everyone in the Woolpack would do to Aaron's hard man reputation because right now that reputation was in tatters.

"_I looked over Jordan and what did I see__, c__omin' for to carry me home__. __A band of angels comin' after me__, __comin' for to carry me home. Swing low, sweet chariot__, c__omin' for to carry me home"_

Aaron was still unaware of his presence, the builder knew that but he was enjoying listening to Aaron's voice as he hushed their daughter even although she wasn't making a sound. Jackson guessed that either she had been or Aaron was trying to prevent it by singing. The only other time in their ten years together that Jackson had heard Aaron sing is when he's completely sloshed and they're in some club but never quite like this and if it was possible he was sure Aaron just made him love him even more.

Suddenly though Aaron sensed he was being watched and midway through his song he turned, half expecting to find nothing and completely surprised to find Jackson stood watching him silently.

"_If you get to heaven before I do__, c__omin' for to carry me home__. __Tell all my friends I'm comin' there-"_ Aaron stops mid song and scowls "How long have you been standing there?" he asks quietly and Jackson's eyes widen and a grin spreads quickly over his face at being caught "long enough" he says padding into the room and coming to stop just behind Aaron. He kisses him on the lips quickly with a reassuring smile and gazes lovingly down at his daughter before locking eyes with Aaron once more.

"Sing lullabies to her often?"

Aaron frowns "I wasn't singing a lullaby"

"Kinda sounded like it to me"

"Well then you need your hearing tested don't you?" Aaron fires back, slightly embarrassed to have been caught singing to their daughter.

"Nope, don't think so" Jackson grins "You just don't want to admit to singing lullabies"

"Will you shut up?" Aaron asks in a hushed voice "I just got her back to sleep"

"With your lullaby" that earns him an elbow in the side "If you wake her up I'm leaving her with you"

"Used to it" Jackson shrugs "You usually sleep through it, how come you heard her?"

"I was on my way back from the bathroom" he explains "Poked my head in and there she was wide awake, think I caught her before she started her screaming"

"Lucky you"

Aaron smiles "Thought I'd let you sleep, not often I get up with her. Like you said I usually sleep through it"

"Thank you" Jackson says kissing him again and Aaron just smiles at him, before kissing him again with the baby still cradled in his arms.

"I'll try and do it more often" Aaron says "but I don't wake up that easy, you'll have to start wakening me up"

Jackson pulls a face and they both know he wouldn't do that because as he sees it there's no point in the both of them being awake when it only takes one of them "We're in this together" Aaron reminds him "Let me help in the night more"

"She's getting better" Jackson informs him "she doesn't wake up every night"

"I'm going to try and get up" Aaron states with a nod of his head. He has no idea how he's going to do it but he's going to give it his best shot.

Jackson smirks, still thinking about Aaron's lullaby singing "What?" Aaron asks with a suspicious tone to his voice at his boyfriends smirk

"Just thinking about your lullaby, think you can sing to be when we're back in bed? See if it'll help me sleep"

Aaron rolls his eyes and sighs "It wasn't a lullaby" he states firmly

"No? Then what was it?"

"A song by UB40"

"Pfft" Jackson scoffs "Don't think those are the lyrics to the version by UB40, those were the lullaby version"

"Sung in the style of UB40" Aaron points out with a nod and Jackson shakes his head, he doesn't want to argue about whether or not Aaron was singing a lullaby because he knows he was as does Aaron. He's just trying to keep his hard man act in place "You don't have to pretend with me you know"

"I hate you sometimes" Aaron tells him

"No you don't" Jackson responds "That's why you're still with me and why you're going to sing to me in bed"

"I'm not" Aaron says as he slowly, carefully places their daughter back into her cot. She doesn't even flinch and he's glad, he'd been standing there singing for god knows how long already; he didn't really fancy doing it for much longer.

"Right, come on" Aaron whispers, grabbing hold of Jackson's hand and dragging him quietly out of the room.

Xxx

Back in their own bedroom, back in bed and the two of them are on their backs, trying to sleep. "Sing to me?" Jackson asks and is rewarded with a pillow in the face for his question "Spoilsport" Jackson mumbles as he turns onto his side, facing his lover.

"Shut up and go to sleep" Aaron orders "we both have work in the morning"

It was true, they both did but Jackson didn't feel much like sleeping, he was wide awake and thought he should let Aaron know. He rolls over so that he's now laying on top of Aaron and grins wickedly "I'm not tired" he says and Aaron rolls his eyes but at the same time he runs his hands up and down Jackson's back, bending his knees to cradle Jackson between his thighs.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Aaron asks

"Well" Jackson starts "I was thinking..." but he's cut off by Aaron's hand on his neck pulling him down until their lips meet. Their boxers are quickly thrown on the floor once more as they find themselves getting lost each other well into the early hours of the morning. Both knowing that their daughter will wake them up far too early and that they both have work to go to but neither of them can find the strength to care at that particular moment. Both of them are far too interested in the other to care about the morning.

Xxx

A/N - REVIEWS ARE MOST WELCOME. THANK YOU


	15. Compromise

**Compromise**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N – For Katie cause she watched 'Dear John' then made me watch it. I wasted two hours of my life._

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><p>Everyday it was the same routine, he would get up shower, dress, eat breakfast then if he wasn't working that day he would sit in the living room waiting on the post. It wasn't often that he didn't have to work but on the days that he wasn't he was mostly disappointed when the postman would come and go without dropping off the letter he was desperately want. There was however the odd occasion when he would get what he wanted, twice a month if he was lucky he would get that long awaited letter.<p>

The letter would be from the person he missed the most, his boyfriend, Aaron, who was currently on tour in Afghanistan. He was almost two years into the four years that he had signed up for and Jackson couldn't wait on those four years being up completely, he missed him like mad. In the two years that they had been apart Jackson was sure he could, if he wanted to, count the amount of times they had seen each other on one hand.

Today though Jackson was feeling especially sorry for himself, it was June 17th which meant that they had been together, properly, for two years. It was their two year anniversary and he was spending it alone, with Aaron god knows where. He wasn't working and he was hoping for a letter to come in the post from him but, if he was honest with himself he was really hoping that Aaron would call him, he longed to hear his voice. It had been over a week since he'd last heard it. The postman would come around eleven every day, he had him timed to perfection over the past two years and until that time, until the time when the postman could either make him the happiest or most depressed man on the planet he was keeping himself busy by rereading old letters Aaron had sent to him whilst he was away. The letter sending had been Jackson's idea. Aaron hadn't been up for it, he wasn't good with words but Jackson knew they had to, for the sake of their relationship they had to keep that contact and Aaron agreed, ever since they had been exchanging letters ever since. The letters, reading them, writing them, helped him feel closer to him even although he was thousands of miles away.

He was currently reading the first ever letter Aaron had ever sent to him. It was dated September 2nd 2010 and it had been two weeks since the last saw him and by the time he had received the letter it was September 23rd which meant it had taken three weeks for him to receive it, it read;

_Jackson, _

_ I don't really know what to say. You know I'm not good with words and feelings but you wanted us to write so here I am, attempting it, for you. I'm currently on my way to Germany. I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you that or not but it's you, so I'm telling you. I don't know when you'll get this or if I'll even still be in Germany but I've included the information on how you can write back to me and no matter where I am in the world I'll get it. I can't wait to hear from you, it's only been two weeks I know but I miss you. I miss your voice, miss your... Well, I just miss you. _

_ How are you settling in at Smithy? Keeping the bed warm? Is Paddy keeping you company? Making you watch all his documentaries about animals? I miss him too, I miss everything, I miss going for a pint, god how I miss that. I'm counting the days until I can see you again, I don't exactly know when that'll be but as soon as I know, you'll know. I'll call you when I can. I'm going to shut up now because if I don't you'll be reading a lot of crap. _

_Aaron x_

Reading the letter Jackson can't help but smile, he remembers almost every word Aaron has ever written to him but he likes to read them, to remember how he felt when he first read them. Aaron had called him before he received the very first letter, he'd asked him if he'd received it and had been upset when he realised he hadn't. Jackson had promised that as soon as he did though that he would reply and he was true to his word because on September 23rd he wrote a reply and sent it off, hoping it wouldn't be too long before Aaron received it on his end. The exchanged a number of letters, mostly it was one per month but sometimes on the odd occasion they were lucky enough to exchange two. The next letter he pulled from his box of letters was dated 25th December 2010, Aaron first Christmas away from home and what would have been their first Christmas together. Jackson couldn't wait for their first Christmas together. They had so far missed two Christmases together and he hadn't even been signed up for two years yet. He just prayed that one Christmas before he left the Army he would be allowed him. The letter that Aaron had sent their first Christmas apart read;

_Jackson, _

_ It's Christmas day and I just received your letter. I was worried that I wouldn't. I've gotten letters from other people too, me mam and Paddy but I haven't read them yet. I wanted to read yours and reply before I forgot everything I wanted to say, which I probably still will but I'm trying not to. Why did I sign up for this again? I hate it. I hate that one day I know I'm going to have to shoot someone, maybe even a kid. How can I do that? Who would want to? I missing so much being here and I know I'm protecting people but I just want to be with you. I want to have been stressing over what to get you for Christmas and not who might attack our camp next. I wish I was at home, where it's cold and I could get as drunk as I want then climb into bed with you but instead I'm here wearing this uniform that I'm sure is going to kill me. It's so hot! Anyway, enough of my moaning because I hope you've bought me something for Christmas because when I get back I'm expecting to have to open it. How was your Christmas? Did you spend it with Paddy? Thanks for getting him something from me, well us. I've got you something, it's not much as you can guess because of where I am but I'll give it to you when I next see you. I have to go patrol now and give someone this letter but I'll call you soon, probably before you get this letter. _

_Aaron x _

That time Aaron had once again managed to call him before he received the letter and he had called on New years day, it was the best new years day he'd ever had just because of that one phone call. It was just after eleven am and the door bell rang. Paddy was bound to be in the surgery so Jackson knew he would have to get it. Guessing it was the postman delivering something he made his way, slowly, downstairs. He wasn't really paying attention, which is why he didn't notice the silhouette behind the door wasn't wearing red but in fact wearing green camouflage type clothing. It wasn't until opening the door that he realised just who was standing waiting for him.

Xxx

Aaron had pulled up in a taxi, he hadn't told anyone he was coming, he wanted it to be a surprise and he had no idea who, if anyone would be at home but pulling up and seeing Jackson's van in the drive made it all the better. He had a key but he didn't use it, he wanted Jackson, or someone to open the door. After a couple of minutes it was opened and he came face to face with a very shocked Jackson.

Jackson assuming it was the postman didn't pay much attention and when he opened the door it took a couple of seconds for him to look up but when he did, his eyes widened and his jaw literally dropped to the floor. He was sure he was seeing things.

"Aaron?"

At his surprise tone Aaron couldn't help but grin "That's me, miss me?" his answer to that question was Jackson pulling him into a hug and kissing him deeply and passionately right there on the door step for the world and his wife to see. Aaron didn't care, he'd stop caring about all his gay hang ups a long time ago, missing someone as much as he missed Jackson could do that to you.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jackson demanded to know once they had pulled apart and Aaron smiled "Wanted to surprise you, did I do that?"

"Of course" Jackson says pulling him inside and taking his bag from him, dropping it by the bottom of the stairs. Not once does he let go of Aaron's hand, he takes him into the kitchen "How long are you home for? How did you get home?"

"I pulled a few strings, I have a few friends. You have me for forty eight hours"

"Two whole days?"

Aaron nods and Jackson grins "I can't believe you're here. I'm waiting on a reply to my last letter" Aaron pulls something from his pocket "I thought I'd deliver it personally" he says handing it to him "but open it once I'm gone, yeah?"

Jackson nods and slips it in his back pocket. He takes a deep breath, looks around the kitchen before saying "so...what do you want to do?" Aaron looks at him, lifts his eyebrows and says "What do you think?" two seconds later he's chasing Jackson up the stairs towards their bedroom.

When they were finally able to pull themselves out of bed it was after six and they were sure no one else was aware that Aaron was back. Fully dressed they made their way downstairs.

"Jackson do you want..." Paddy's sentence dies on his lips when he sees Aaron, his face lights up and he pulls the younger man into a hug "Aaron!" he exclaims "when did you get back?"

"Earlier" Aaron nods "we've uh..." he looks at Jackson "been catching up"

Paddy's cheeks turn pink at the admission and he turns back to the stove "hungry?" he asks

"We thought we'd go over to the pub" Aaron says "I need a drink, you coming?"

Paddy nods and turns what he was cooking off "I'll just grab my coat" he says and Aaron smiles

Xxx

They spent around four hours in the Woolpack, Aaron catching up with friends and family members whilst he could; he wasn't home for long after all. By the time they stumbled home it was nearing midnight and the both of them were rather drunk. They managed, somehow, to stumble up stairs to their bedroom and without taking any clothes off they ended up falling onto the bed and quickly falling asleep.

In the morning Aaron was the first to wake, being used to early mornings, he woke around six am to find himself fully dressed laying practically on top of a fully clothed Jackson. He was surprised to find he didn't have a headache considering he hadn't drank as much as he had the previous night in a very long time but he was glad he didn't because it meant he could spend the next twenty eight hours with Jackson. He had a flight to catch at ten am the following morning. He didn't want to waste a second of their time together because he had no idea when they would next see one another.

In order not to waste a second of their precious time together he knew he would have to wake his sleeping lover, he was sure he wouldn't mind though. Softly, slowly, he pressed feather light kisses to the back of the builder's neck, wakening him up as gently as he could. He knows how much Jackson hates to wake up in the morning. After a few kisses Jackson begins to stir, a smiling forming on his lips as he says "I didn't dream yesterday then"

Aaron smiles as he continues to kiss his neck, moving around the neck slowly to nibble on her earlobe "nope" he whispers into his ear, blowing gently. Jackson turns, hooking his arms around Aaron's neck whilst they gaze into each other's eyes. Without thinking Aaron says "I love you Jackson" Jackson's eyes widen, that was the first time Aaron had ever said those three little words to him. He had said them, last time Aaron had been home but the soldier hadn't said them back, he hadn't minded as he knew how bad Aaron was at talking about his feelings but to hear him say it? It was like music to his ears.

Aaron was waiting with baited breath, he had just told Jackson he loved him and was waiting on a reaction. Jackson had told him how he felt last time they he had been home but he hadn't felt ready to say it. He hadn't known how he felt back then but he knew now and he loved him. He watched as Jackson's face broke out into the biggest smile he had ever seen and he was kissing him. After a couple of seconds Jackson pulls back and says "I love you too"

After that the two of them set about showing one another just how much they loved each other, making the most of their time together. A couple of hours later, when the both of them are very naked and extremely spent Aaron asks "Were you meant to be at work?"

Jackson rolls over so he's lying practically on top of his boyfriend and nods "Yeah, but I got someone to cover. I'm not about to go to work when you're here for such a little amount of time"

Aaron's stomach makes a very loud noise and Jackson laughs "Hungry?"

Aaron nods

"Let's go feed you then" Jackson says slipping from the bed and pulling on his boxers and extending his hand for Aaron.

Not long after breakfast the door opened and in walked Adam. He wanted Aaron to go with him but with a quick look at Jackson Aaron had to say no. He came back to spend time with him and as much as he loved Adam he loved Jackson "Sorry mate. Next time I'm home" he promises and Adam nods his understanding.

They knew they had very little time remaining and decided to spend it together, on the couch watching TV and just enjoying spending time with each other. When Paddy came home and it was time to go to bed, Jackson dreaded it because it meant that he had less than eight hours left with Aaron. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Quietly he got up off of the sofa and made his way upstairs, leaving Aaron sitting there watching him go.

"What's wrong? Did you fight?" Paddy asks wondering about Jackson's strange behaviour. Aaron shakes his head. He knows exactly why Jackson is acting the way he is. He doesn't want him to go and he knows how he feels because he doesn't want to go.

"No... Just, uh..." he gets to his feet and shrugs "I think it's about tomorrow and me leaving"

"Ah" Paddy says with a nod "He never likes that bit"

"Neither do I" Aaron walks away from Paddy looking suitably depressed and seconds later Paddy can hear him climbing the stairs. He feels for the two of them, he knows how hard it must be but he also knows that they'll get through it; it's clear how much they love each other.

Xxx

Upstairs inside the bedroom Aaron finds Jackson sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands. "Jackson" Aaron says coming to stand in front of his boyfriend, Jackson looks up "Sorry"

"Don't be" Aaron says cupping the side of his face "I don't want to go either but I have to"

Jackson nods "I hate this"

"Two more years" Aaron tells him "two more years and it'll be over. You'll have me all to yourself"

"Can't wait" he replies sarcastically "two whole years"

Aaron knows that if he doesn't stop this now they're going to end up arguing but it's not what he wants. He doesn't want to argue with Jackson, not when he has to leave in less than eight hours. He kisses him, hoping to stop him worrying and to allow them to enjoy their final few hours. It works and he feels Jackson's hands on his belt as he's pulled down on top of him.

The morning comes all too quickly for the pair of them and even although Aaron insists that Jackson doesn't drive him to the airfield he insists that he is and does. Parked outside the airfield, they're sat in the cab an eerie silence between the two of them.

"I should go" Aaron says, breaking the silence.

"Yeah" Jackson nods, staring straight ahead. Without warning Aaron grabs him and kisses him passionately, pulling back once he needs air, they share a tender a smile "I've written you another letter" he says handing it to him "read it after the first" Clutching the letter Jackson nods and gives him one last kiss before he slips out of the van. Watching him walk away, as always is the hardest thing to do, the hardest part is the not knowing if he'll see him again. He couldn't wait for the two years to be up and for him to come home permanently.

Xxx

Mid August and Aaron was missing Jackson badly. It was late, he was meant to be asleep as he had to be up bright and early, five am in the morning but he couldn't sleep. His head was full of Jackson, wondering what he was doing, where he was, if he was thinking about him. He hated it. He hated himself for signing up, why had he done it? Why couldn't he have met Jackson before signing up for the army? He didn't have much to do at nights apart from sit and wallow in his own pity. He sometimes wondered if Jackson would find someone else. He couldn't really blame him if he did, who wants to wait for four years for a screw up like him? Although Jackson seemed to love the screw up that was him. To pass the time and to make himself feel better he was reading letters that Jackson had sent to him over the past two years, the letter he was currently reading was the most recent, dated June 20th, the day after he had left. It read;

_Aaron, _

_ You've been gone hours and already I miss you like mad. I went to work today, it was a struggle just to get through. I can't get you off of my mind, you'd think I'd be used to you leaving by now but I'm sure that it gets worse each time. I read your letters, both of them. I love you and nothing and no one will ever change that. I promise and I know being so far away you probably wonder what I'm doing most nights but I can promise you that when I go out with my mates I don't even look at anyone else. Why would I when I'm happy with you? Four years is nothing, I'm not going to replace you, you are irreplaceable. Maybe by the time you get this it'll be under two years until you leave the army, I'm counting down the days. Do you know yet when you'll next be home? Or when you can call? I just want to hear your voice. I miss it, miss you. The bed seems huge again without you taking up as much space as you can. I think Adam is trying to keep me busy, he invited me out last night and tonight he's told me he's dragging me out, has that got something to do with you maybe? I hope you get this as soon as possible, I can't wait to hear from you. This job that I'm on will keep me busy for the next few months but just hurry back to me. _

_Love always _

_Jackson_

Aaron couldn't help but smile as he read the letter again, it was the first time he had ended a letter with 'love always' clearly he felt he could now that he had told him how he felt. It felt good to read the words because in his head he could hear Jackson saying them. The next letter he pulled from his letter box to read was dated 23rd September 2010 and it was the first letter he had ever received from his lover. It read;

_Aaron, _

_ So you're in Germany are you? When they sending out you know where or can you not tell me? I don't know if I want to know or not, part of me doesn't because then I will really be terrified. I already am. We didn't have enough time together, not really. We should have had longer, together but I'm happy for what we had and what we will have when you come home. I'm settling into Smithy just fine, although the bed seems so much bigger without you and I don't get kicked anymore which is good but I'd trade not getting kicked to feel you next to me. Paddy's missing you, he wants you to write to him but he'll understand if you don't have time, he's keeping me company and I'm learning quite a lot about animals! I could write more, I could write you a book but right now the words aren't coming so I'll say this, write whatever you want to me, ramble as much as you want because all I want is to hear from you, how you are, what you're doing and how much you miss me would be great. I'll see you soon I hope, and speak to you even sooner. Hopefully I'll get to speak to you before I get the next letter; you can let me know it's on its way. _

_Jackson xx_

Jackson's letters are all that keep him going most of the time, it's like he's there with him. He can't believe that someone like Jackson wanted him and that he stayed even although he was thousands of miles away, it was pretty special, what they had was clearly very special. He couldn't wait to get back to him but that wouldn't be for another four months, he hated it.

Xxx

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away Jackson was having a night out with his mates, in Bar West, the very bar where he and Aaron met, he loved coming here and it reminded him of Aaron.

"Oh here he is" he hears one of his mates say as he makes his way towards them "Captain dull"

Jackson's eyes narrow and he pulls a face "Don't start Sol" he warns. Not many of his friends were supportive of his relationship with Aaron; they felt he was stupid for waiting for him after being together for so long.

"Still with soldier boy then are you?"

"Have I told you otherwise?"

Sol shakes his head

"Then I am, get me a drink" he says to his mate and nods at the bar with a roll of his eyes Sol does as he is asked and heads towards the Bar. Thankfully for him the subject of Aaron was dropped and they started talking about other things but eventually as it always did the subject of his love life was once again brought into conversation and this time, surprisingly it wasn't by Sol.

"How long has he got left?" Jay, one of his mates who was actually supportive of his relationship asks "Another two years" Jackson says frowning "half way there" he adds trying to smile but it doesn't quite work.

Jay takes a deep breath before saying "you think you should still do this?"

"You what?" Jackson asks, taken aback and noticing how everyone else has suddenly gone quiet. He looks at them all "is this why you invited me out? To try and break up my relationship?"

"Not really a relationship when half of it is miles away"

"He's serving his country" Jackson points out "something you'd never do"

"We're not saying anything about that" Jay tells him "he's brave but come on... you think he's staying faithful? He has you in his house, his bed and you think he's staying true to you?"

"Yes!" Jackson exclaims "He loves me and even if he didn't he's not a cheat, he's loyal"

"Like a dog?" Sol adds and Jackson glares at him, quickly shutting him up. He holds up his hands and says "I'm drunk"

"Well shut up then!" Jackson snaps, uncharacteristically harsh for him.

"We just don't want you waiting any longer and realising how much of a mistake you've made" Jay tells him "we're looking out for you, in two years how many times have you seen him?"

"About six" Jackson admits, it was probably less than six but he wasn't about to correct himself "and you know what? Those six times have been the best times of my life. I love him, more than I've ever loved anyone. He'll be out in two years and we'll be together"

"And if he isn't?" Joe asks and Jackson looks at him "He's not going to sign up for anymore time"

"That's not what I meant" Joe tells him with a sombre expression "Oh" Jackson says looking down, getting what he means "That won't happen"

Joe wants to leave it but he can't "You don't know that. If it does you're going to be heartbroken"

"Maybe" Jackson nods "but even if I wasn't with him and that happened I'd be heartbroken. Either way I lose but I love him and I'm going nowhere, could you just leave it?"

Jay and Joe agree to leave it so they can enjoy the rest of their night "Pool?" Joe asks and Jackson follows him towards the table, grateful for the distraction.

Xxx

"What's up with you?"

Aaron and the rest of his team were currently having down time and he was in his own little world when someone dropped down beside him. It was Craig, one of his friends, his best friend in the army.

"Nothing" he tells him "What's up with you?"

Craig gives him a look "you don't look like nothing is wrong"

Aaron sighs "Just missing home"

"Jackson?"

Reluctantly Aaron nods

"What's he done?"

Aaron is quick to shake his head "Nothing, he's great. Just miss him and worry that he's going to find someone else" he admits, he can admit things like this to Craig mostly because Craig is gay too but unlike him he doesn't have anyone waiting on him and he never in a million years would have guessed that Craig was gay, that was until he came out and told him.

"I've never met the guy but from everything you've said I doubt he's doing that. He lives at yours doesn't he?"

Aaron nods

"You think he's sneaking people back to your bed?"?

"No!" Aaron says quickly "but I wouldn't blame him if he did"

"GUYS! LET'S GO!" someone yells pulling them out of their conversation "let's go" Aaron says pulling himself to his feet.

Xxx

December 22nd and Jackson is stood in the airport waiting. Aaron was coming home for Christmas. It would be their first Christmas spent together and he couldn't wait. He had him home for two whole weeks. It was priceless to him; he could feel his stomach flipping as he waited on him. A few people came from the terminal, a few soldiers, not the one he was waiting on though and then, from nowhere he saw him. Their eyes met and he would swear that time stopped as they stared at each other and smiled. Jackson was practically bouncing with excitement, he had to see him, touch him. He got closer, slowly and not caring where they were, what people thought or anything Jackson pulled him forward, crashing their bodies and mouths together passionately. Aaron was quick to reciprocate. When they pull apart they're both grinning from ear to ear "happy to see me?" Aaron asks and Jackson nods "come on" he says grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the airport "lets get home"

Aaron follows with a smile on his face, he's so happy about being home that he doesn't care that the fact he just kissed Jackson in a very crowded airport meant that fellow soldiers who did not know his sexuality were now aware; he could care less about that.

They pull up outside the Smithy in the van and Jackson says "for what it's worth, I'm sorry" just before they walk through the door and before he can ask what he's apologising for he opens the door and "SURPRISE" rings out, he no longer has to ask. It was a surprise welcome home party. He didn't want one, he wanted to slob out in front of the TV but he was obviously going to have to grin and bear it "I'll take this upstairs" Jackson says disappearing up the stairs with his holdall. He really wanted to follow him, lock them in that room but he knew he couldn't. He had to be sociable with other people, at least for a night.

It was over an hour later before Jackson managed to get his boyfriend alone again and it was by chance. He had moved from the living room into the kitchen to get a beer and found that Aaron was doing the same thing; he was standing by the kitchen counter. Moving forward he slipped his hands around his waist, kissed his neck and whispered "I didn't have a say in this"

Aaron smiled to himself, he had guessed that "I guessed" he says "Want a beer?" he feels Jackson nod against his shoulder and picks up one for him too. Turning around he hold out the beer handing it to him whilst he still has him pinned between the kitchen counter and his body. "Want me to move?" Jackson asks when he notices Aaron looking him up and down.

"What do you think?" Aaron asks rolling his eyes and settling his hands around the small of Jackson's back, keeping him close at the same time as he pulls him closer.

"Just checking"

Aaron takes a deep breath before sighing "What's up?" he shrugs before admitting "I'd quite liked it to have just been me and you. I'm tired"

"I know I tried to tell her but you know what your Mum is like?"

Aaron did know and as much as he knew she had been trying to do the right thing he kinda wished she hadn't because he was tired, he'd had a long flight and he just wanted to relax, although the alcohol was helping him do that. "We'll be alone soon enough" Jackson promises him with a quick kiss on the lips before they're interrupted.

"Ah so this is where you're hiding" Adam says coming in from the kitchen. Jackson makes to move away but Aaron tightens his grip, he wasn't letting him go anywhere "You could have stopped her from doing this" Aaron says to his best mate.

"Me?" he points at Jackson "if he couldn't how could I?"

"He's nicer than you" Aaron reminds him "He finds it hard to say no to my Mother"

Jackson whacks him on the shoulder for that comment but Aaron ignores it "I didn't want a party"

"Awe!" Adam says sarcastically "Is little Aaron not enjoying himself?"

"Little Aaron is tired" Aaron fires back.

Before anything else can be said between the three of them Chas has entered the kitchen and she's pulling Aaron by the arm, away from Jackson and out of the kitchen "Mum! I'm tired" he complains to her but she merely replies "You can sleep later, we're happy to have you home" he didn't put up much more of a fight, he knew it was useless. He left Jackson and Adam in the kitchen, both amused by his situation.

It was two am before they climbed into bed, both exhausted from their night "You don't have to work tomorrow, do you?"

"No" Jackson answers, pressing a kiss to the soldiers chest "I'm not back until you go away, you have me all to yourself"

"Mmm, good" Aaron says sleepily, his arm darting out and pulling Jackson closer towards him as they drift off to sleep.

Xxx

Christmas came and went and it was, as he expected the best Christmas he had ever had. His Mother was back from her travels, staying at Smithy, he had Aaron and Aaron had a surprise for him. He had booked them a few nights away over the new year in Scotland so they could be alone and he couldn't wait.

It was the twenty eighth of December and two days before they were due to leave for Scotland, he couldn't wait but they were having a night out with their friends first because when they arrived home from Scotland Aaron would only have two days then he would be off again. Jackson was trying hard not to think about that.

"What time are we meeting them?" Aaron asks, walking into the bedroom, towel wrapped around his waist, he was just out the shower. "Twenty minutes" the builder says looking his boyfriend up and down "You're always late"

"We won't be late" Aaron says "I just need to pull something on" Jackson nods and as much as he tries, he can't pull his eyes away from Aaron.

Aaron smirks "but if you keep looking at me like that we probably will be late" he says pulling Jackson out of his little daydream.

"Not looking at you like anything" Jackson says pulling a face and finishing the buttons on his shirt "Yeah right" Aaron scoffs, pulling on his jeans before fumbling for a top. Once he's found a plain black jumper he looks at Jackson, he always looks good. "I like that shirt" he says and catching his eye in the mirror Jackson says "I know"

Aaron smirks at him "I like it better on the floor though"

Jackson laughs and shakes his head "You already have me Livesy, you don't need those cheesy lines" coming up behind him he plants a kiss on the side of his neck "Wasn't a line" he says "It was the truth"

"Mmmm" Jackson says in an unconvinced tone, turning around to face his boyfriend. Their eyes lock and they do that thing where they're going to kiss but they like to drag it out for as long as possible, seeing who'll make the final move first when a car horn goes off "That'll be a taxi" Jackson says

"Yeah" Aaron agrees, kissing him quickly before pulling back, grabbing his coat and disappearing down the stairs, it takes a few seconds but Jackson follows.

They go to bar west, a group of them, meeting up with some of Jackson's friends who were also there. For once Aaron didn't mind because he hadn't seen any of them in quite a long time and he was more interested in Jackson. Jackson who had gone to buy the next round quite a while ago "Where's Jackson?"

"Buying the next round" someone says and Aaron frowns "he's been ages"

"It's a busy night" someone else points out and he glares at them "gonna find him" with that he slips from his seat and scans the bar for his boyfriend. He finds him; he's at the bar but... He's not alone.

Aaron wasn't stupid, he could clearly see what was going on. Jackson was being chatted up by some guy but what was worse was he was allowing it to happen. He'd had one too many drinks, that on top of the doubts he had about why Jackson was with him and what he was doing whilst he was away was the reason for the actions that followed. He barged in between Jackson and the other guy, pushing him back, hard.

"What's your game mate?" he demands to know, advancing on him like some wild animal. It takes Jackson a second to realise what's going on but as soon as he does he's grabbing Aaron's arm "Aaron!"

Aaron looks at him, an almost disgusted look on his face "You seeing him?" he demands and Jackson's eyes widen "Am I what?" but it doesn't matter because Aaron is already advancing on the other guy already

"Mate, I'm not seeing anyone, I was just standing waiting to be served"

"Do I look stupid?" he asks and without waiting on an answer adds "I know you were trying to chat him up"

The guy looks intimated and Jackson doesn't blame "Aaron, leave it"

"What's wrong? Don't want me to hurt your boyfriend?"

"I was trying to chat him up" the guys stutters "but he told me he was with someone, he wasn't interested" By now his little show of masculinity had attracted the attention of Adam and a few other people, Adam, who had ran across the room to help

"What's going on?" he asks putting himself between Aaron and the guy whilst Jackson stands, staring at Aaron. Forgetting about the guy Aaron turns to his boyfriend "Is this what you do when I'm away? Stand in bar west and let guy's chat you up? How many of them do you go home with? How many times you cheated on me Jackson?"

Jackson's face is expressionless whilst he stares at his boyfriend. Aaron doesn't trust him, it's a blow, to his head and his heart. Taking a step backwards the builder turns walks from the bar, not even stopping to grab his jacket and it's freezing outside.

He's gone exactly sixty seconds before Aaron realises what he's done. He looks at Adam "That was bad man" he says and Aaron knows he's right "What am I going to do?"

"Go after him" Adam says and the words have barely left the farmer's mouth when he's grabbing both their jackets from the table and making straight for the door.

Outside he knows he cannot have gone far, it's raining, freezing and he didn't have his jacket. He spotted him, leaning against the side of the bar wall, face over hands. He looked annoyed, hurt, he looked a lot of things and Aaron felt horrible.

"You're going to get cold" Aaron says coming to a stop in front of his boyfriend and holding out his jacket. Jackson looks up, his eyes are cold, hard and he's glaring at the solider but takes his jacket and slips it on "thanks" he says before brushing past and walking away. Aaron follows "Jackson wait"

"What for?" Jackson throws over his shoulder "Can't keep my boyfriend waiting, can I?"

"I didn't mean it, I was jealous alright?"

Jackson stops, shrugs and tries to wave down a taxi "Where you going?"

"Home" he answers "unless you're kicking me out?"

Aaron's eyes widen, was Jackson going to leave him? "What? No" he says as Jackson climbs into the taxi, he has a split second to make a decision and he jumps in "get out" Jackson barks but Aaron shakes his head and says "Emmerdale please mate" to the driver but never once taking his eyes off of his boyfriend.

The ride back to Emmerdale is tense and extremely quiet. Aaron knows he's in trouble. How could he have said those things? Yeah, he was thinking them but he knew deep down that Jackson would never cheat on him. He wasn't the type, he loved him. He was just being stupid. He was just hoping his stupidity hadn't cost him his boyfriend.

Xxx

Aaron was left to pay for the taxi whilst Jackson jumped out the car and headed into Smithy. He followed and found the builder sitting in the dark in the living room. It was late, everyone else was clearly upstairs asleep or out somewhere.

"Jackson"

"You think whilst you're away I'm sleeping with anyone that looks at me?"

"No" he answers, before adding "Yeah"

Jackson looks at him, eyes wide and hurt "Really?"

"I think it, when I'm alone but I know you wouldn't. I know you and I know you wouldn't do something like that. I know how you feel about me"

"But you thought I was chatting up that guy in Bar West? When you were sat not far away?"

"No" Aaron answers moving towards him, bending down so they were eye level "I was drunk, I left my feelings get the better of me. I know you wouldn't"

"But you still think it"

"I wonder why you're with me Jackson, why you've stayed all this time. I worry I'm going to lose you"

Jackson stands up, he can't hear anymore, he's too angry and hurt "You'll be sleeping on the couch" he states matter of fact tone and Aaron nods, taking it. He's not about to argue, he knows he deserves it.

Xxx

In the morning Aaron was sitting on the edge of the couch, nursing a mug of coffee when Paddy came in, he stopped "What's this?"

"I slept on the couch"

"Why?"

Aaron shrugs

"You two didn't argue did you?"

"I screwed up Paddy"

"What happened?"

"Let's just say... I don't think we'll be needing that trip to Scotland any longer. I doubt if he'll talk to me again before I leave"

"Oh come on" Paddy says taking a seat beside him "He loves you, he's not going to give up on you and everything just because you had some silly argument"

"I accused him of cheating Paddy"

"Oh" Paddy says "that wasn't good"

Aaron nods

"He wouldn't, you know that right?"

"I know" Aaron tells him "I was just... Insecure, drunk, stupid, I don't know"

Standing up Paddy puts a hand to his shoulder "It'll work out" he says gently squeezing his shoulder as a sign of support before walking through to the surgery. Aaron wasn't convinced, he was sure they would be going nowhere the next day.

It was hours before he saw his boyfriend again, in fact Jackson had somehow managed to sneak out of Smithy without him noticing and to top it all off he had to put up with questions from Hazel about her sons whereabouts.

It was dark but it wasn't late when Jackson arrived home, he'd been to his mates, walked around a little. He was trying to sort his head and his feelings out.

"Where's Aaron?"

"Bedroom" his Mother answers and she's about to ask something when Jackson holds up his hand and says "Later Mum" and ascends the stairs.

He finds Aaron on their bed, with music blaring from the IPod dock, he rolls his eyes and turns it off. Aaron immediately opens his eyes, realising someone else is in the room "Planning on slitting your wrists?"

"Eh?"

"The music was quite depressing there"

"I'm depressed" Aaron informs him and Jackson sits on the bottom of the bed "'Bout what?"

"The fact I screwed up and now I'm not going to spend three days in Scotland with my boyfriend"

"You cancelling?"

Aaron pulls a face "Aren't you?"

Jackson shakes his head

"Oh" Aaron is confused "I thought you were, I mean... You left without speaking to me, didn't answer calls or texts"

"I was thinking"

"About what?"

"About how much of an idiot you are" Aaron has no come back to that. He is in fact an idiot.

"And?"

"And I decided that you are an idiot but I still love you"

Aaron's face lights up "Yeah?"

"Yeah" Jackson confirms "as long as you promise not to say anything as stupid as the things you were saying last night"

"Never"

"Even if somebody hits on me in Scotland, you won't overreact because I'll be telling whoever it I have a boyfriend, yeah?"

"Yeah, yeah" Aaron nods quickly, he wouldn't overreact like that again. He'd been going made wondering what Jackson was going to do "so we're going to Scotland then?"

"Three days alone with you? You bet"

They sealed their reunion and the end of their misunderstanding with a kiss, Aaron pulling the builder down on top of him to show him just how sorry he really was.

Xxx

They spent New Year in Scotland together, in their hotel and for them it was perfect. They had each other, they were alone and they were where they wanted to be. They knew that Aaron would be leaving again soon but they also knew that they had fourteen days worth of memories to keep them going until that time and they needed it because January 5th was the day when Aaron flew out of the UK once more. Jackson hated it and for the first time, he actually cried. Silent tears streamed down his face as he watched Aaron walk away, he didn't know why but he had a horrible, horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. Would he see him again?

Xxx

April came around quickly for Jackson, it meant that Aaron had less than sixteen months left in the army; he was counting down the days. He had just finished work and returned home to find a letter on the kitchen table waiting from him, from Aaron. He smiled, it had been a while since he last had one, and the post seemed to be getting worse. Turning the kettle on he made himself a cup of coffee before settling down to read his letter.

The phone rang. Reluctantly he answered it and a part of him wished he never had. He knew as soon as he heard the very official sounding voice on the other end asking for either himself or Paddy that something was wrong.

"This is Jackson Walsh"

It was a commanding officer from the army. Aaron had been shot, twice. He was being airlifted back to the UK for treatment he couldn't get where they were. Jackson fell to his knees "Is he alright?"

"He's talking" the officer informed him "Moaning quite a lot but... We have to get him back to the UK. We had a duty to inform the family" Jackson thanked him for letting them know and the officer gave him some more information, about the hospital he would be at, when he would be home, the usual, he couldn't believe it. Aaron had been shot. His worst fear had become a reality. What would he do it he didn't get through it? He had to tell the others and wait on Aaron arriving back into the UK so he could see him.

Two weeks later and Aaron was back in Smithy. He had some problems walking, he was a little groggy and he would have a permanent scar on his head but other than that, he was alive. That's what Jackson was grateful for. Once he was better, he would have to have physio to make sure his limbs all worked correctly and he had been signed off the army for six months, when he returned he would have less than a year to complete. Jackson didn't want him to go back at all but Aaron, when coherent was adamant that he would finish his four years just like he signed up for.

Jackson had taken time off of work. He had to, at least until Aaron was better. He didn't care how much money he was missing out on, Aaron was the most important thing. He had been home for twenty four hours and he was fast asleep in their bed. Their room had been moved downstairs, there was a toilet downstairs with a shower and until Aaron could walk the stairs properly he would be using them, whether he liked it or not.

Jackson was watching him sleep, unable to believe that he had him there beside him. He had been shot but he'd pulled through for that Jackson would be eternally grateful. His heart, head and whole body had been numb from the time of the phone call until he had seen those deep blue eyes looking at him.

It was after nine am in the morning and Aaron rarely slept that late but he couldn't blame him, he was recovering from being shot but as the thought crossed his mind Aaron's eyes slowly opened.

Aaron groaned as his eyes adjusted to the light in the room "Morning sleepy head"

"Can I go back to sleep"

"Sure" Jackson says "If you think he can" he adds knowing full well that Aaron wouldn't be able to. Aaron's hand sneaks out from under the covers and fumbles around on top looking for Jackson's, when he finds it he pulls the builder towards him, so he's lying half on top of him and kisses him soundly on the lips. Jackson keeps his weight on both of his arms, not wanting to hurt Aaron anymore than he already was "I'm not going to break" Aaron whispers against his lips "I've missed you"

"You've been shot Aaron" Jackson says, stopping him taking their make out session any further, at least not until he was much, much better. He liked sex yeah but he wasn't about to push Aaron before he was ready, although from what he could feel it felt like Aaron was ready for it.

"I'm fine"

"Oh yeah?" Jackson asks "Going for a run?" Aaron glares, ok, so he couldn't walk or run very well thanks to the bullet that he had taken but he was getting better. They'd operated on him, he was going to be fine and he was even being taken back onto active duty after his recovery. Why was Jackson worrying so much?

"Soon" Jackson grins triumphantly but changes the subject "Hungry? I'll get you something to eat"

"I'll help"

"No!" Jackson says "You just lie there and look pretty" he says handing him the remote and Aaron scowls "Can I at least go to the toilet?"

Jackson could allow that "I'll help you"

"Uh... I don't need help with that"

"I'll help you get there, you knew what I meant. Come on" he helps his boyfriend stand and walks him towards the downstairs toilet.

Twenty minutes later and Jackson is sitting on their bed, watching TV but at the same time watching Aaron and he can't help but think about seeing him for the first time after he had been shot. He had raced to the hospital, Paddy and Chas with him but they had allowed him to go in first. Knowing it's what Aaron would have wanted. The moment he laid eyes on him he had started crying, he looked so frail, so white...so dead but he wasn't dead he just wasn't all that alive either. They had some operations they had to do, that scared him more than anything. He sat by Aaron's bedside cradling his hand in his own, willing him to open his eyes. He needed to see those blue eyes. After an hour of being there his eyes opened "Jackson? Where am I?" He had to explain to him that he'd been hurt and was back in Britain, that was hard but it seemed the more he spoke the more Aaron remembered himself.

He had been terrified for the whole two weeks it took for them to allow him home and when he realised he was home for six months he had been happy beyond belief. He could look after him, make sure he didn't do anything too stupid before he was able but letting him go back would be hard. What if it happened again?

"Why are you staring at me?" Aaron's voice broke him out of memory lane and he smiled at the younger man "I'm not, I'm watching TV"

Aaron scoffs "yeah and I'm really a woman"

"Sometimes you nag like one" Jackson mumbles to himself with a smile "What was that?" Aaron asks, raising his eyebrows "Nothing" Jackson answers plastering on a sickly sweet smile.

"Why are you staring at me?" Aaron asks again "Maybe I fancy you"

Aaron rolls his eyes and gives Jackson a look, a look that says 'we both know I'm not going to shut up until you tell me' so he gives in and says, with a lump in his throat "I nearly lost you"

Aaron's face softens at that and he pulls Jackson forward, holding him close "I'm right here" he says "takes more than that to get rid of me"

"I was terrified when I got that call and when you were in hospital"

"I'm out Jackson, I'm right here" he rubs his hands up and down his back, trying to comfort him. Jackson clings to him, holding on and hiding his face in the crook of his neck, he feels Aaron press a kiss to his neck, then another and another. He knows what's coming next "let me show you" he asks and Jackson pulls back. He's still weak, still hurt and high on the drugs to stop him being in pain but in that moment Jackson can't fight the look Aaron has in his eyes, so instead he kisses him.

Xxx

Three weeks later and most of the effects of being shot are gone, apart from the fact he still struggles to walk and he doesn't have as much strength or control of his right arm as he once had, that's what the physiotherapy was for, to help him get back to one hundred percent. It was his first week; he was to go three times a week. He didn't want to but he knew he had to. He had just under five months of leave left, he had to be fighting fit before returning to active duty.

"I really wish we we're still in bed" Aaron complains as Jackson's drive him to his physio appointment. Sliding his hand between Jackson's legs he asks "don't you?"

"Aaron"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Move your hand"

"You weren't saying that last night" Aaron points out but removes it anyway "I already get enough exercise"

"Sex isn't the kind of exercise they want you to have"

Aaron shrugs; he quite likes it as a form of exercise. It's his favourite kind.

"When do you start your new job?"

"Wednesday" Jackson answers; it was now Monday so Aaron had him for two more days before he would have to share him with work.

"What am I meant to do whilst you're at work?" the solider asks with a frown. "You could always have a good gossip with Pearl while she's working?"

Aaron glares and Jackson smirks "Get yourself a hobby"

Aaron tuts, a hobby? What kind of hobby could he do? Knit? Like hell.

Xxx

Aaron was tired after his first session which is why he was in bed, they had moved back upstairs even although it did take Aaron much longer than usual to climb the stairs, much longer but thankfully Jackson was a patient guy.

Aaron had stripped completely naked and thrown himself into bed. Jackson had busied himself for as long as possible but he found himself sitting back on the bed, where he found himself quite often these days. When Aaron slept he liked to watch, to make sure he was breathing, he was still scared that he would lose him, he still had to go back. Having him back, looking after him had been great apart from the dreams. Aaron had been having dreams, nightmares about being shot, some making him violently sick but he'd been there, comforting him, listening to him. He was going to get him through it; he wasn't going to lose him to what had happened.

He didn't want to go back to work but he needed the money, they needed the money. They had decided over the past few weeks that once Aaron was out of the army they would move in together. Jackson couldn't wait but that meant they needed money. They had money from Aaron's salary, he hadn't spent much but more would help.

Jackson feels himself being kicked "stop staring and get naked" Aaron mumbles sleepily. Jackson smirks "Is that all you think about?"

"Well" Aaron says defending himself "You're going back to work. I'm not going to have it on tap after that, so I'm taking it while I can get it" Jackson really didn't have a problem with that and was quick to pounce on his lover.

Xxx

Adam and Aaron were in the cafe, Jackson had been back at work for three weeks and he was trying different things to keep himself entertained whilst he was at work.

"So... How's the physio going?"

"Going good" Aaron answers "I'm almost fully healed"

"Does that mean you'll have to go back early?"

"No" Aaron says "I'm signed off until the end of October, so they won't call me back until then, unless I want to go back"

"Do you?"

Aaron lets out a laugh "Jackson would kill me... and I don't really want to"

Just then Debbie came into the cafe, she stop upon seeing Aaron "You busy?" she asks and he shakes his head "Nah, why?"

"I need help at the garage? You up for it?" during his time in the army Aaron had also become a fully fledged mechanic but he'd moved from working on cars, tanks and vans to being on the front line after learning and mastering the trade.

"Paying me?" he asks and she rolls her eyes "Yeah, if you move now"

That was it, from that day until he had to go back and when he didn't have physio Aaron would work at the garage. He loved it, being around Cain, Debbie and the new kid they had working for them. He remembered how good it had been before he joined the army. He also knew what he wanted to do when he left said army. Jackson was pleased he was back at the garage to, it meant he didn't have to worry about what he was getting up to and they were back at home the same time each night.

Xxx

October came around quickly, too quickly and it was Aaron's last night before he had to go back. They had had a party the night before which left them with his final night together. They were currently in bed, staring at the ceiling, neither of them really knowing what to say.

Turning to his side Aaron props himself up on his elbow "I love you, you know that right?"

Jackson's head turns towards him "Of course I know, I love you"

Aaron smiles "I'll be home in ten months, before that with leave"

Jackson nods and presses a kiss to Aaron's shoulder "I know, I've just gotten used to you being here"

"I'll be back soon" Aaron promises before rolling himself over on top of Jackson, kissing him deeply and showing him just how much he loved him and what they would both be missing for the coming months.

Xxx

Ten months later and August had come. Aaron was leaving the army, he had finished his tour and Jackson was beyond glad. He had him, all to himself for as long as they wanted and to top it off a house had come up in the village for sale and they had bought at the start of August, they couldn't wait to move in together.

He was at the airport for the last time to pick him up, he saw him and as soon as they reached each other they embraced. Throwing their arms around one another and kissing passionately, not caring who could see, when they pulled back Aaron whispered "take me home?"

Jackson grinned, home. He couldn't wait to get him there. It would be his first night in their new home as well as Aaron's; he didn't want to live in it without him.

A couple of hours later, both spent and naked in bed Aaron is propped up on his elbow, he had just come back from the bathroom, or so he said. His hand was running up and down Jackson's chest, while they kissed softly. Aaron moved his position so that he was straddling the builder, Jackson looked up at him "already?"

Aaron grins "Yeah but..." he hands the builder a small box and Jackson's eyes widen, he knows what it is without asking but Aaron opens it anyway.

"I've known for ages I was going to do this, it feels right now"

"Aaron..."

"Will you marry me?" Aaron asks, interrupting the builder to ask his question before he loses his nerve.

"YES!"

Xxx

A/N - LIKE IT? HATE IT? LOVE IT? LET ME KNOW PLEASE! :)


	16. Defiant

**Defiant**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

* * *

><p>Aaron couldn't believe it had come to this. He'd tried, countless time he'd tried to get Jackson to listen to him but it seemed the older man was dead set against doing that. Apparently he thought that whatever he decided would end up happening but Aaron wasn't eighteen anymore, he wasn't confused about what he wanted, he knew what he wanted all he had to get Jackson to do now was to listen to him.<p>

They had been together for just over three years, Aaron was twenty one and Jackson had just turned twenty six, it all started a couple of weeks before Jackson's twenty sixth birthday, the weeks running up to his twenty sixth birthday was when Jackson started with his crap again. When he started telling Aaron to move on with his life, he'd already tried to dump him four times and that was all since the start of July, it was barely even mid August.

Aaron had no idea what to do so in the end he had asked Joe's advice and he booked them in to speak to someone, a counsellor, shrink, whatever name you wanted to give this woman that's who they were seeing. The only problem was Jackson had no idea and he had no idea how he would react when he found out.

"Where are you taking me?" Jackson asks as they walk towards the tall building, he's frowning. He had no idea where they are going "Anyway, I shouldn't have come. I told you it's time we stopped seeing each other"

"And I told you that's not going to happen"

"It is" Jackson says adamantly "I'm not letting you throw your life away on me"

Aaron bites his tongue. He could argue with him right there outside the building but he won't because he's hoping to keep what he has to say for inside the building. He's not one for sharing his feelings with total strangers but he's willing to do whatever it takes to convince Jackson to stop pushing him away because he's not going anywhere, ever.

"What are we doing here?" Jackson barks out, having realised just exactly where it was they were heading now that they were inside the building. Aaron swallows the lump in his throat "We need help Jackson" he says calmly "we can't keep doing this every few years. I asked Joe, he put me in touch with this woman, she sees a lot of people that are..."

"That are what? Paralysed?"

Aaron nods

"I'm going home" Jackson says turning his chair around only to be blocked by Aaron "No!" he says "We're talking to her"

"Since when do you talk to people you don't know"

"Since you won't stop trying to split us up!" Aaron snaps "If I have to drag this chair up the stairs with you in it... I will"

Xxx

"I love him" Aaron says "He just can't seem to get that through his head" he stops taking a deep breath and Jackson glares at him. He had basically bullied him into this session "I thought he had but a few weeks ago he started again, telling me how I can't waste my life with him"

"When long ago was the accident?" Sarah, the counsellor asks, looking at Jackson "Ask him" he barks at her "he's the reason we're here. He wants to 'chat" Sarah doesn't tear her gaze away from Jackson "I asked you" she tells him as Aaron says "I'm sorry about him, would you believe he's considered the 'nice' one?"

Sarah could believe that because no matter what Jackson was currently trying to portray she could see it was an act. She could see it in his eyes, he was hurting. He was scared; she had to get him to open up. She knew Joe, she'd cleared her schedule so she could spend a couple of hours with Aaron and Jackson because, Joe had told her that Aaron could get him to come once but twice would probably be a problem plus after reading Jackson's file she wanted to help them.

"The accident was over two years ago"

"And how long have you been together?"

"Just over three"

Sarah nods and Jackson says "Yeah, he's been with me longer like this than when I could walk"

"And you don't like that?"

"I was a builder" Jackson bites out "A builder who could actually touch his own boyfriend. Now i can't. Why would I like it?"

"Is that why you're pushing Aaron away?"

"Better end it now before he gets in too deep and can't-"

"Get's in too deep?" Aaron snaps "What the hell are you talking about?"

Jackson turns to him, scowling "You can't be with me for the rest of your life Aaron, it just can't happen"

"Why not?" Aaron demands "I know what I want"

"Look at me Aaron" Jackson says, "I can't do anything... We can't do anything"

Aaron sighs and rolls his eyes "This is what it comes back to" he says directing his words towards Sarah "Sex. That's why he thinks I should leave him" he faces Jackson as he says "I couldn't give a crap about sex, I want you. We were never just about sex"

"No but it helped"

"We don't need it_. I_ don't need it"

Jackson rolls his eyes "You telling me you don't miss it? Ever"

"I haven't had sex since the last time you had sex, do you miss it?"

"Everyday" Jackson answers without missing a beat

"I miss sex Jackson but I miss sex with you. I don't want sex with some random guy. I tried that remember?"

The tension in the roam was soaring, both men were becoming anxious, angry and annoyed. Sarah was sure that Aaron wanted to storm out and the only thing stopping him was the fact he knew Jackson couldn't follow, she could tell from looking at him that he was deeply in love with Jackson but she could also understand Jackson's fears. She could see that the tetraplegic was scared that sooner or later Aaron wouldn't be able to handle it and he'd stray. She had to get him to share that with Aaron, to see Aaron's reaction to his boyfriend's feelings.

"Do you think Aaron will cheat?" there was no other way to ask the question than to be blunt about it. Aaron's head snaps from Sarah to Jackson, he too waiting on the answer. Unable to look Aaron in the eye Jackson says "I know he will"

Aaron is pretty sure he just heard his heart break. Jackson thinks he'll cheat? He'd never cheat, not once and not for a minute. "I.. I..." Aaron wants to defend himself but Sarah holds up her hand and says "let him finish"

"He's twenty one and he hasn't had sex in a long time. I know he loves me but it won't be enough, not in the long run" he says, still not allowing himself to look at Aaron. He's forcing back the tears and he knows if he looks at Aaron the flood gates will open. "Everyone wonders why he's still with me, why he stayed and I know he stayed because he loved me but I also know he has needs. Needs I can't do anything about. One day, sooner or later he'll go to a bar and he'll meet someone. He'll sleep with them and then he'll probably hate himself but he'll do it because I cannot be enough for him"

"You are" Aaron says quietly, he is and he always would be. He wasn't a cheat, he'd never cheat on him and he was pretty sure the feelings that he had for him would never go away.

"One day we'll split up and I'm really not sure how I'll cope watching him with someone else. I know he'd try to hide it but sooner or later I'll see it. It'll kill me" he looks at Aaron "He's it for me. I knew the minute I saw him that I was in big trouble"

"I won't cheat on you" Aaron says, glaring at Jackson "Ever"

"You don't know that. Aaron, you'll get sick of this life sooner or later"

"Sick of you? Well you're an annoying prat and it hasn't happened in three years, can't see it happening anytime soon if I'm honest"

Aaron turns to Sarah and says "Sorry but... Can you leave us alone? I think we need to talk on our own" with a small smile Sarah nods her head and quietly leaves the two of them alone.

"I love you Jackson" Aaron says, feeling as though he has to remind him "and I might not have known for as long as you that I love you but I know now and I know that you're all I want. I haven't even looked at anyone else, since that guy you kept telling me I should see but I got rid of him back then cause I wanted you, I still want you and in thirty years time it'll still be you"

"You can't know that Aaron but I know you and I know you'd never walk away, you're too loyal"

"You make me sound like a dog"

Jackson laughs at that "You need more than what I can give you"

Aaron is up off his chair and bending down in front of Jackson before he knows it, staring him straight in the eye "I just want you. I've got you, I wake up next to you, I kiss you whenever I want. That's enough, you're enough"

"You avoid going out" Jackson points out "With Adam"

Aaron's brows pull together, he's slightly confused "is that because you're scared if you go out you might meet someone and you don't know what to do if you did?"

"No!" Aaron says quickly, that wasn't it at all "I don't want to go without you. When you could walk Jackson how often did I go out without you after we got together?"

Jackson turns away, not answering the question because the answer would be 'never' after they got together, when he could walk him and Aaron always went to town together, sometimes with Adam and sometimes without.

"Exactly" Aaron says with a triumphant smirk "Never. So why would I want to go when you don't? We go to the Woolpack, that's enough"

Xxx

They had descended into silence, both going over their own thought before Jackson says "You want me to though, don't you?"

"Want you to what?"

"Go out more often than I do, to town"

"Yeah" Aaron answers truthfully "Steve manages it and I know his accident was longer than yours but... He didn't have me. I'm pretty good to have around"

"You mean you scare anyone that might say anything away?

"Same thing" Aaron shrugs "You can't let the accident stop you doing what you want to do and you can't let what happened because of it make you push me away. If I ever want to walk away Jackson I'll go. Nothing will stop me"

Jackson gives him a look, a look that says _'I don't believe you'_ and Aaron says "I don't do anything I don't want to do remember?" He does remember but he also knows that Aaron is loyal and no matter what he felt he'd find it hard to walk away from him in his condition. Suddenly though his thoughts were interrupted by soft lips on his own, it only took him a couple of seconds to realise that Aaron was kissing him and to respond eagerly.

It had been a long time since they had shared such a passionate kiss what with Jackson being determined Aaron should move on, again. Aaron didn't want the kiss to end but Jackson pulled away much to his annoyance. "I wasn't finished yet" Aaron mumbles against his lips and Jackson lets out a soft laugh. He longs to run his hands down the mechanic's body, just to touch him, not touching him is a killer.

"I'm not going anywhere Jackson" Aaron says seriously "When we got back together, I said to you that I didn't want you to keep trying to push me away, it gets kinda boring. It's still boring. I'm not going anywhere Jackson, not now and not ever"

"Aaron..."

"No!" Aaron says quickly "shut up, for once shut up. I want you. Just you. No one else Jackson, do you get that?"

"You say that now..."

"I'll be saying that in twenty years time. Steven and Annie manage, why won't we?"

"They were together for longer than us before the accident"

Aaron's eyes widen at that statement "so because we were only together what? 6 months? It means we won't last like them?"

Jackson nods

"Well, I'm telling you that I love you more than Annie loves Steve, so we will"

Jackson rolls his eyes at that "You do, do you?"

"Yeah" Aaron says with a small smile "Your way more annoying than Steve. Annie would have walked away from you a long time ago"

"Good thing I'm gay then"

"It really is" Aaron agrees "Good thing you found me too" they sit staring at each other for the longest time until the door opening interrupts them and Aaron looks up, it's Sarah.

Xxx

"Everything alright?" Sarah asks retaking her seat opposite them. Aaron is still couched down in front of Jackson, holding his hands but he's looking at her "I think so" he says sounding unsure, he looks at Jackson "he's stubborn though"

"We don't make a good match" Jackson says with a laugh "both of us are quite stubborn"

"Who usually wins?" Sarah asks

"Me" Aaron says with a grin "he can't resist me"

Sarah smiles "So it would appear, from what Joe told me about the two of you and from what I have seen it seems to me as if you're both very happy with each other"

Aaron nods and Jackson stays quiet "Jackson's obviously scared for the future, he's worried about your needs, what you might want and need as you get older and you" she says focusing her attention on Aaron "you're just concerned about him. About making sure he knows how much you love him"

"Not a lot of people are happy he's with me" Jackson says causing Aaron to scowl "what? It's true" Jackson points out because it was and is true. Still, Chas seems to have a problem with them being together.

"And is that where your insecurities stem from? What other people say about your relationship?"

"Sometimes, other times I ignore them"

"I keep telling him to ignore them" Aaron says "but it's clearly not working"

"Who has problem with you two being together?" Sarah asks and Jackson looks at Aaron, waiting on him answering the question.

"My mum" he answers with a sigh "she thinks I feel guilty, think I should live a little more before tying myself down"

"I think that too"

"Yeah, you're just as stupid as her" Aaron points out to his boyfriend "and what do you think Aaron?" Sarah asks

"I think she should butt out. I've told her I love him and I'm going nowhere. When he could walk it was a different story. When he could walk she was telling me not to let him go, I don't know what's changed. He's still the same Jackson, he just can't move. He's still the same boyfriend I had back then. She's just being a bitch"

"So she was fine with you before the accident?"

"Yeah" Aaron nods "She loved him, wouldn't stop banging on about him everytime he left me"

"Everytime?" Jackson asks "It was like... Twice"

Aaron shrugs "Still two times that I had to put up with her telling me to beg you to take me back"

"Which I did"

"Cause your nuts"

"Possibly" Jackson retorts with a smile.

"And does your Mother still want you to leave Jackson?" Sarah asks "She doesn't say anything anymore; she knows I'll bite her head off but she gives me looks sometimes. I ignore her, I'm happy and if she asks me to choose, she won't like my choice"

"You'd choose Jackson?"

"Everytime" Aaron answers with hesitation "He'd do the same"

"You think if the situations were reversed Jackson would do the same?"

"Yeah" Sarah looks at Jackson "Would you Jackson?"

"In a heartbeat" Jackson answers quickly "I wouldn't leave him, I couldn't. Ever"

"What about the lack of sex?"

"I love him" Jackson says "That wouldn't matter, he's all that matters"

Sarah smirks at him and he frowns "but it's completely different" he says quickly, guessing what she's getting at.

"How?"

"Cause he's younger"

"Three years!" Aaron interrupt

"I'm his first boyfriend"

"But you're previous boyfriends, did you feel for any of them the way you feel for Aaron?"

Jackson shakes his head

"So Aaron's your 'one' then"

"Yeah, I think I already said something along those lines"

"So why can't you be enough for Aaron?"

"Because" Jackson says with a sigh "he has nothing to compare it to, I do. I know it's different, he doesn't"

"I do" Aaron tells him seriously "there was that idiot you forced me to date a couple of years back. I didn't feel anything for him. He made my skin crawl when he tried to touch me, I wanted you. I left him and came straight back to you"

"That's cause your an idiot" Jackson points out in a cheerful tone, earning him a scowl from Aaron "I'm not going anywhere Jackson. No matter how hard you push"

Jackson looks at Sarah "You deal with a lot of people in my situation right?"

Sarah nods

"How many of them are in relationships? Or are in relationships that last?"

"It depends on the people, the person"

"How many?" Jackson pushes for an answer

"Not many" she tells him "but" she adds "not many of them have someone who loves them as much as Aaron clearly loves you. He'd do anything for you"

Jackson turns to Aaron "Could you leave us alone for a minute?" he asks him and Aaron's eyes widen "What?" he asks "No" he answers quickly afterwards

"Please?" Jackson pleads and Aaron gets to his feet, he's wary but he has to do as he was asked. "I'll be back in five minutes"

"It's all I need" Jackson promises.

Xxx

With Aaron gone Jackson says "He's amazing" he states "He's helped me so much, you have no idea"

Sarah just looks at him, waiting on him continuing, knowing he will.

"Not long after this happened, after we got back together, after he told me he loved me. I wanted to die. Really, I couldn't handle being this way, being like this, not being able to touch him. It was killing me"

"What changed?"

"He told me that it wasn't happening. He wasn't about to let me die and he set about showing me life was worth living. He did everything he could think off and eventually I started to enjoy it. I started living, for him"

"And now you're having the feelings that you want to die again?"

Jackson is quick to shake his head at the suggestion "No" he says quickly "He's got me to a stage where I've accepted it, my life"

"So what's the problem?"

"I feel like I'm taking the best years of him life. That when he's thirty he's going to look back and regret staying with me because he missed out on having fun"

"Is he happy? Does he love you?"

"Yes"

"Do you go you together? Does he go out with his friends?"

"Yeah" Jackson says "he goes out with his best mate. I don't like going out all that much" he says sadly "but sometimes he forces me"

"Couldn't you make the effort? For him? For you?"

"I guess"

"He brought you here so you could sort things out, do you think you've managed to do that? Will you keep pushing him away?"

"I don't know" Jackson answers honestly just as the door is opened once more "alright if I come in?" Aaron asks, looking at him, asking him.

"Course" he answers because he'd actually missed him a little. Aaron's face lights up and he walks in, sitting as close to Jackson as he possibly can "Are you alright? What couldn't I hear?"

"I just told her about when I wanted to die...and how you helped me get over that"

"Well I wasn't about to live without you, was I?"

They spend another hour with Sarah going over things, their relationship, the past, the present and what they wanted for the future and it was half past four before they arrived back in the village.

Xxx

"Hazel?" Aaron calls out when they walk through the front door but he doesn't get a reply "she must be out"

"Probably with Bob" Jackson tells him "I'm glad we're alone though"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah" Jackson nods at the chair "sit?" he asks and Aaron drops down into the chair as Jackson moves his chair closer "I'm sorry" he says honestly "for the way I've been. I'm just letting my worries get the better of me"

"You don't have to worry about me Jackson, or us. I'm not going anywhere. I need you, more than you know"

"I need you too" Jackson tells him "but I love you more than anything and the thought of losing you scares me"

"Then stop thinking about it cause it's never going to happen" with that Aaron leans up, his hand sneaking around the back of Jackson's neck and pulling his lips towards his. Their lips meet and their kiss is just as passionate as their earlier one, this time though it's full of promise. Promise that Jackson is going to stop pushing him away and he's going to forget about his worries and focus on the good things in his life, namely Aaron.

The door opens and Jackson tries to pull away but Aaron isn't finished yet and his grip on the back of Jackson's neck tightens, holding him in place.

"Don't mind me" he hears Hazel say and then a shuffling as she moves into the kitchen. After a few more seconds he finally pulls away "I'm finished now" he says with a grin "Couldn't let you pull away from me again"

Jackson smiles and says "How about we go somewhere tomorrow?"

"Where?"

"Anywhere, you can take me on a date"

"Can I?" Aaron asks with a huge smile "does that mean I have to pay?"

"Of course"

"Alright "Aaron says with a nod "You sure?"

"Positive. It's about time we did more things together"

Aaron stands up, dropping a quick kiss onto his waiting lips "going to see if your Mum needs help, I'm starving"

Aaron walks into the kitchen and Jackson watches him. He knows it'll take him a long time before he can completely let go of his insecurities and his worries but he's willing to give it a try, for Aaron and for his Mum.

Xxx

A/N - LIKE IT? LOVE IT? HATE IT? LET ME KNOW!


	17. Daybreak

**Daybreak**

_A/N - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

* * *

><p>"Where is he?"<p>

"Where do you think?" a twenty seven year old Stacey said as she gazed out of the living room window.

"It's freezing" her brother states and she rolls her eyes whilst shrugging "I think he knows that"

"I'm going to get him" her brother says moving towards the front door only to be stopped by her "Joe, leave him" she says with a small, sad smile, her eyes flicking back out the window and across the street.

It was Christmas eve and this would be their first Christmas without him, he had only passed away four short months ago, her Father wasn't taking it so well, which is why she had her husband had moved back into the village, she had to be close by him. He had already been found asleep at the grave and at his age it wasn't good for him.

Joe comes to a stop at the side of her and follows her gaze towards the cemetery "We miss him too" he says "Shouldn't he be thinking about us? His kids?" Joe doesn't deal with his emotions very well, he takes after his Dad in that sense, he bottles everything up, even at the funeral he didn't cry and Stacey doesn't know if he has shed a tear since the passing of their Father.

"He's lost his soulmate" Stacey says "Could you imagine? They've been together for over fifty years; it must be like losing a part of yourself"

"It's Christmas Eve, it's snowing. He can't be out there, I'm going to get him" A firm hand on his bicep stops him again "No!" Stacey says adamantly "You stay here, you'll only start arguing. You have no tact"

Joe pulls a face

"I'll go" she says pulling on her coat "I'll be right back"

Joe scoffs, not believing it. He believes it'll take his sister a good long time to convince their Father to leave that cemetery, to leave the only man he'd ever loved.

Stacey carefully makes her way into the cemetery, trying hard not to fall on the slippery ice. She finds him, crouched down by the headstone, talking in a hushed voice. She can't make out what he's saying but she doesn't really want to, it's obviously between the two of them. She stands behind him for a few minutes, waiting on him noticing her and if he does he doesn't show it.

"Dad" she says, alerting him to her presence.

He turns, a frown on his face "What are you doing out here?" he scolds her "It's freezing"

"You're telling me" she quips "Come inside, you've been out here ages"

"I can't" he tells her "I'm not leaving him. He loved Christmas, I can't leave him alone"

"Dad!" she moves forward, bending down and wrapping her arms around his shoulders "He wouldn't want you to do this; he'd want you inside, in the warm. Safe"

"Yeah, well" he scoffs "He's not here, is he?"

Stacey takes a deep breath before standing up and pulling him up with her "We're going home"

"I'm not a kid" he fights "I'm a grown man. I'll do what I want"

"And you don't want to spend Christmas with your family? Your kids? You're grandchildren?"

"My family isn't whole anymore is it" he says looking at the grave, trying hard to hold back the tears "come on" she says and when he looks into her big brown eyes he knows he can't resist her and he shakes his head "Fine" he reluctantly agrees "but I'll be back out later"

"I'll come with you" she tells him because that way she can make sure he's wrapped up warm and not staying in the cemetery for too long.

Xxx

He sits through the yearly Christmas eve dinner, the party games after. He watches the same films they have watched every Christmas for the past however many years and he knows he should be happy. He's spending the day and night with his kids and his grand kids but he just isn't happy. He hasn't been happy since that day four short months ago. That day ripped his heart into shreds, the day the man he had been with for over fifty years quietly slipped away.

He remembers it well, it was the 22nd of August at precisely ten past nine in the morning when he took his final breath and where did he take this final breath? In their bed, he wouldn't have it any other way. He'd fought with the hospital to have him home; he wasn't going to die in some hospital, away from everyone they knew. When they got the news that nothing more could be done they talked about it, about what they wanted to happen and what they were going to do. They both agreed that whatever happened he should be home, in his, in their bed to see it through to the end.

It was cancer that killed him in the end, when they'd first found out he'd been angry, lashed out. Told him that he should have quit long ago, he'd been telling him to quit for years but he'd never listened. He continued to smoke and through the years he'd stopped complaining, _'Millions of people smoke and never catch Cancer' _but as it turned out he wasn't one of those millions of people.

"Dad?" it was Stacey, he turned towards her, smiling or at least trying to smile "You're not enjoying this are you?" she asks although she's already painfully aware of the answer. Ever since the funeral, ever since he had died her Dad had been practically wasting away, it was as if he had nothing else to live for.

"I'm trying" he admits "It's hard"

She turns, looking over her shoulder at her husband and they share a small smile and she wonders what it would feel like if he were to die and they'd only been together for five years, nowhere near as long as her parents had been together "I can't imagine how much you're hurting" she says "I know how much I miss him, how much I hurt but I can't imagine what you're going through"

"I can't sleep" he tells her "ever since... you know. I haven't had a decent night's sleep. He was murder to sleep with but it turns out I can't sleep without him"

"Dad, you have to sleep" Stacey says "Maybe we could swap rooms"

"No, that's our room. Has been since the day we moved in. I'm not moving"

"Then see the Doctor, you need to sleep"

He huffs out a long breath, rolling his eyes. He knows she cares but he doesn't want her fussing. She should be getting on with her own life, not moving in with him, worrying about him "You said you'd come back out with me? How about now?" he says not really waiting on an answer as he stands and makes for the coat hooks. She follows, throwing a look at her husband. He just nods and smiles, he gets it and she follows her Father out of the door and back towards the cemetery.

Xxx

It was Daybreak on Boxing Day, Christmas day had seen her Stacey watch as her Father snuck out to the Cemetery, he'd been ill and she managed to get him in, back into bed and was tending to him. He was after all eighty three years old, he couldn't handle the cold. It could kill him, she didn't want to lose another parent before the year was out.

He opened presents, ate Christmas dinner but there was no spark in his eye and she had a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know what it was but something woke her up. Getting out of bed she opened the blinds, the sun was just starting to rise. She had no idea what time it was but it was at least seven.

She made her way out of the bedroom and down the landing towards her parents' bedroom. Opening the door she found the room empty, the bed hadn't been slept it. Her eyes widened and she knew, she just knew. There was something in the air, wrapping her dressing gown tightly around her and pulling on her boots as she made it to the front door she ran, she ran as fast as she could to the cemetery, she knew that's where he was.

He was there, lying on the ground, curled up. She stopped, happy that he was there but scared. She stepped closer and it became painfully aware that he wasn't breathing. "Dad!" she screamed but there was nothing, he was gone. He was cold. Tears came from nowhere as she screamed for someone to help her, someone would hear her. He was dead, he was gone. Had he known? She thinks so, but her worst nightmare had just become a reality, she had lost both parents within six months of each other. One to cancer and one, she guessed, to a broken heart.

Joe heard her screams and came running from the house "No" he shouted, from the gates, he could see her, bent down cradling the still body of their Father "The selfish..."

"Call an ambulance or something Joe" she snapped at him, not in the mood for his remarks, her Father was dead, and he was in his arms. He could save his drama for another day.

It was the sixth of January before they could finally lay there Father to rest, next to his soulmate. Jackson Walsh was buried on the sixth of January at precisely 12pm. It was a small service, family and friends. When they lowered him into the ground Stacey couldn't cry, Joe was crying but Stacey was happy. It was where he wanted to be, back with Aaron, back with his husband, his soulmate. He knew they were fine, if they weren't fine she knows he never would have left. As she turns to go home a cool, crisp wind brushes past her and she can't help but smile, it's them, she knows it's them and she can only hope they're together and happy.

Xxx

REVIEWS, AS ALWAYS ARE MOST WELCOME.


	18. Wishing

**Wishing**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N – This idea wasn't mine. It belongs to RandomPast but...I decided to write it. I'm pretty sure he won't mind but hey! Even if he does it's too late now. I'm sure he could write it better than me and who knows? Maybe one day he will. Enjoy! :)_

* * *

><p>Tuesday morning and Aaron was on his way to work, Jackson was walking him mostly because he had nothing better to do.<p>

"Don't you have some work that you could be doing?" the mechanic asks "I don't need to be walked to work"

"I'm bored" Jackson points out "Waiting on my next job starting aren't I?" he bumps his shoulder against Aaron's and adds "and anyway, you should make the most of having me to yourself, this job is going to take up a lot of my time, you'll barely ever see me you know"

Aaron frowns at that, he doesn't like the sound of it. It sounded as if he would barely see his other half "Planning on moving out are you?" the mechanic asks with a laugh although deep down he's dreading the answer. He had just gotten Jackson to move back in, after the whole breakup in October.

"No" Jackson answers honestly "but I'll start work early and finish late"

They've reached the garage, there's no on in because Aaron is opening up and he's going to be on his own most of the day, until Debbie came in that was, god knows where Cain was. Jackson stands by as Aaron unlocks the gate and pulls it open. He's watching his boyfriend and can see from the unhappy scowl on his face that he's less than pleased about how many hours he'll be working once he starts this new job but there's not much he can do about that really. It's a job and it's good money, he'd be nuts to turn it down just because he might not see Aaron as much for a few weeks.

"You hanging around or what?"

"Don't want to distract you now do I?" Jackson says with a smirk "Although... I do like to watch you work"

Aaron rolls his eyes "is that a yes or a no to the staying? Cause if you're staying you can make me a coffee"

"I've always known you only want me for my skills" he mumbles as he heads into the back to make himself and Aaron coffee.

"Ha skills" Aaron scoffs as he takes a look at the work he has on for that day and luckily for him it's not that much, two cars needing an MOT and that was about it. He was starting to understand why it was just him that was in, there was really no need for more than one person to be in, at least not until later because he guessed that the cars they had to sell would need to be checked over.

Xxx

An hour later and Jackson was beyond bored. For the first fifteen minutes or so they sat drinking their coffee and enjoying their time spent together, their usual cheeky, flirtatious banter going strong as usual.

Aaron was currently bent over a car and as much as Jackson was enjoying the view and how Aaron looked in his overalls he couldn't stand the boredom a minute longer. Getting to his feet he crossed the small distance between himself and Aaron. Placing his hand on the small of Aaron's back to get his attention he says "I'm bored, I'm going to head"

Aaron stands, turns towards him and scowls "Where you going?"

"Anywhere that isn't here" Jackson answers honestly "Because as much fun as watching you is if I do it much longer I feel I might kill myself"

"Cheers for that"

Jackson smiles and moves forward, kissing him quickly "I'll see you later" he says and Aaron nods before asking "Lunch time? I'll need food and seen as how I'm the only one here..."

"Fine. Lunch time" Jackson agrees "I'm I having to buy the lunch?"

Aaron nods

"See you later then" he tries to step away again only to be pulled back by Aaron grabbing his arm and soon finds their lips crashing together. He's not surprised by Aaron's kisses anymore, especially the public ones, ever since they had gotten back together after their first major fallout that caused him to move out Aaron had been different, more open in public or at least more open in the village. Jackson quite liked it.

Pulling away Aaron licked his lips and grinned "See ya later"

Xxx

It was half past twelve when Jackson walked into the cafe to get himself and Aaron something to eat. He had gone home, watched TV for a bit then nipped into town to see one of his mates but now he was back, as promised, to buy Aaron lunch.

Coming out of the cafe he meets Adam "Hey, where's Aaron?"

Jackson pulls a face "In the garage?"

"Nah, mate I was just there, couldn't see him. It was open like but I didn't see him, must have nipped out somewhere"

Jackson pulls out his mobile but there's been no missed calls or text from his boyfriend "Hmmm" he holds up the two brown bags he has in his hands "I just bought him lunch, suppose I'll head up there, wait till he turns up"

"Get him to give me a call eh?"

"Will do" Jackson says nodding his farewell to Adam before walking to the garage all the time wondering just where the hell his boyfriend could have gotten too, without calling him as he knew he would be coming with lunch sometimes around twelve.

The garage was quiet and he couldn't see Aaron anywhere. Pulling out his mobile he called him, to see where he was and maybe go a little mad for making him come all the back from town to just get his lunch when he wasn't even around.

He could hear the ringing, it sounded as if it was coming from inside the garage. He pulled the door open a bit more than it was and the ringing became louder. Allowing the phone to ring but pulling it away from his ear he walked in, his stomach suddenly dropping. His worst fears were confirmed when he spotted a pair of legs that he knew belonged to Aaron, in front of the blue car. He rushed to his side, killing his current phone call as he went.

"Aaron!" he exclaimed rushing to him, running his hands over his body, that's when he noticed it, his head. There was a jack or something he wasn't sure what it was but it was covered in blood and Aaron's head was cut wide open, blood was everywhere. Doing the only thing he could think of he quickly dialled 999, not wanting to move him incase he did something he just sat beside him, telling him everything would be alright and demanding he open his eyes.

The ambulance was on its way, they told him not to move him. Whilst waiting he had no idea what to do but he knew he had to call someone. First of all he called Paddy, then Chas and finally he called Debbie. Debbie was the first to arrive as she lived closer followed by Paddy and Chas.

"What happened?" Chas screams, running to her son's side "I don't know. He was just lying like this, I've called the ambulance"

The four of them stood anxiously waiting on the ambulance, they could hear it but it wasn't coming fast enough for any of them.

Xxx

The ambulance came and he was quickly bundled into the back of said ambulance "Can we come with him?" Chas asks, stepping closer.

"Just one of you" the paramedic says looking at the four people standing around. Jackson steps back, he loves him and he's his boyfriend but Chas is his Mother and Paddy is like a Dad to him, he could drive.

"Jackson" Chas' voice surprises him and he looks up to see her staring at him "He'll want you when he wakes up" she says "you go, I'll get a lift with Paddy"

"You're his Mum" Jackson argues but Chas is quick to shake her head "He'll want you love" she says and this time she grabs hold of his arm and pushes him towards the back of the ambulance "hurry up, get in there" without arguing Jackson jumps in the back of the ambulance and sits at the top, never once taking his eyes off of his boyfriend.

"Will he be alright?" Jackson asks, he knows it's a stupid question but he has to ask, the paramedic just smiles at him and says "we'll know more once we get him to the hospital"

As expected the ambulance was at the hospital before Chas and Paddy which meant Jackson had to stand alone, whilst they took Aaron away to assess him. He was terrified and he was blaming himself. If he hadn't left him in the garage alone, to go see his mates just because he was a little bored would this have happened? Probably not.

He was pacing when Paddy and Chas found him. Chas wanting to know what had happened but Jackson had no clue "I don't know" he tells her "I just walked in and there he was, on the ground"

"I really hoped I wouldn't end up here with him again"

Jackson nods, he hadn't been here the first time around and that fact still makes his heart hurt. Aaron had tried to kill himself not long after punching him; he could have lost him before he ever really had him. He shivered at that thought, he couldn't think about it. He hadn't lost him then and he wouldn't lose him now, he knew it. He felt it. Aaron wouldn't leave him.

It was an hour before someone came to find them, to tell them "He's OK" the doctor says "physically anyway. He hit his head pretty hard, we've sedated him just to give his brain and head sometime to recover and then when he wakes up we'll know what we're dealing with"

"And what? He's going to be OK?" Chas asks and the Doctor nods "All the signs are good, but he have to wait until Mr Livesy wakes up until we know the full extent of his injuries"

"What are you talking about?" Chas asks although Paddy and Jackson had already guessed what he was talking about; he was talking about brain damage. Jackson dreaded the thought, he silently prayed his boyfriend would come through this healthy and without brain damage.

"There could be some brain damage" the Doctor explains "but it could be temporary, it could be long lasting and he could maybe be perfectly fine. We have to wait until Mr Livesy wakes up. We didn't have to perform surgery which is a good sign"

Jackson didn't want to hear what the Doctor had to say, he wanted to see his boyfriend. He needed to see him because listening to the Doctor would only make him worry more.

"Can I... Can we see him?" he asks looking at the Doctor expectantly

"And you are?" the Doctor asks "I'm his boyfriend" Jackson says. The Doctor nods quickly and says "Of course but only two at a time please"

Jackson rolls his eyes and says "There are three of us, he's asleep. We're not going to do anything"

"Very well" the Doctor nods before showing them to where Aaron was.

Xxx

After a while Paddy had to go home which left Jackson and Chas alone in the hospital room, both staring at the teenager in the bed, willing him to wake up. Jackson had called Adam, told him about Aaron and Adam said he would pop up to the hospital sometime later, once the usual crowd had been and gone. The usual crowd being the Dingles, Jackson knew they would all turn up at some point but he wasn't going anywhere, he was going to sit in the chair next to his bed and not move until he was ready. Without a work Chas disappeared from the room only to reappear some five minutes later explaining the reason for her departure.

"Called me lot" she tells him as she sits back down "told them not to bother coming, there's no point" she nods at Aaron "not like he'd want them all trailing up here anyway"

Jackson stays quiet, unable to comment on what Aaron would want, although secretly he thinks she made the right call.

"He'll be alright" he hears her say and he's left wondering if she's trying to convince him, herself or the both of them.

"He will" Jackson says with a nods, "the Doctor said so, there's no major damage right? He just has to wake up" he laughs to himself and Chas gives him a look

"What?" she asks

"He's hard enough to wake up at the best of times, but with them sedating him? God knows how long it'll take him" he informs her after all, he'll know more about his sleeping habits than she will.

Jackson knew that if he were to sit at the hospital all day and night it would be madness, sure he didn't want to leave him but he wasn't in any danger, he wasn't about to die they were simply waiting on him wakening up and he really didn't want to sit in a cold, hard plastic chair with Chas opposite him all night, as much as he liked the woman. He wanted his own bed, yes, he wanted Aaron in it but he would be back in the morning and all he could hope was that Aaron would wake up and everything would be back to normal before he started his job for Declan next week. He just wanted Aaron out of the hospital and everything back to normal because then he could stop worrying.

Getting to his feet he surprises Chas "I'm going to head back to the village" he says

"You are?" the surprise is evident in his voice "Yeah" he nods "I could stay here but I'll end up driving myself mad"

"Alright love, I'll probably stay a bit longer, if not the night"

"Alright" Jackson nods "Adam said he'll be up at some point" she stands up and pulls him into a hug "I'll call you if he wakes up yeah?"

"Thanks" the builder smiles before making his way out of the room and the hospital.

It was just before six when he stepped out of the hospital, it was dark and it had started to rain. He'd been in that hospital for almost six hours, the fresh air was a welcome change. His body felt as if it was shaking, it was shaking but he tried to reign in it. Aaron was fine, he would be fine. He needed a drink, quickly he walked towards the taxi rank, and he needed to get back to the Woolpack as quick as possible. He needed to calm his nerves and the only way he wanted to do that was with a drink... or ten.

Xxx

The morning came around and not as quickly as Jackson had hoped. He had gone straight to the Woolpack after the hospital and he could vaguely remember Declan and Jai helping him back to Smithy before passing him over to his Mother. It was quite humiliating but he wasn't the first person to get drunk, was he?

His Mother had put him to bed, well, she dropped him onto it and left him. From there he'd managed to strip and get himself under the covers, he hoped sleep would soon follow but it didn't. His mind was quickly drawn to the thing that was missing from the bed, to Aaron. Aaron who was currently laying in a hospital bed. He grabbed his phone, checking that he hadn't missed a call from Chas whilst he'd been drowning his sorrows, luckily he hadn't. It was around 4am before he finally managed to fall asleep, not that he got much sleep though because four short hours later his eyes were opening and he had a pounding headache.

Rolling out of bed he makes his way downstairs, he needs a coffee, a strong one and some paracetamol. Unlucky for him though his Mother is already up and about "Morning sunshine" she says in a voice that's way too cheery for him this particular morning.

"What's good about it?" he grumbles whilst raking in the cupboard for painkillers, he feels a tap on his arm followed by his Mother handing him two painkillers and a glass of water "thank you" he says smiling gratefully.

He sits down at the table and mumbles something about coffee, to which Hazel turns the kettle on to boil. She stands against the kitchen counter, arms crossed and giving him a look, a look Jackson knows "What?" he snaps, a little harsher than he liked.

"This is what you decided to do instead of staying with your unconscious boyfriend?" she asks "it's something I'd expect from Aaron"

"Well you know what they say" he fires back "you live with them you go like em'"

Hazel rolls her eyes "are you going back to the hospital?"

Jackson gives her a look, a look that says _'Are you nuts of course I'm going back'_ and again she rolls her eyes once more and says "When?"

"As soon as I've showered and finished this coffee" he tells her "so about forty five minutes. He hasn't woken up yet. Chas would have called"

Xxx

At the hospital Aaron had just opened his eyes, Chas had quickly assured him that he was OK before going to get the Doctor; she was left outside of the hospital room whilst they did whatever it was they had to do which gave her time to call Jackson. It was just going on nine; whether or not he was awake she knew he would want to know. He'd answered and said he'd be there as quick as possible, she could hear him pulling on clothes as he spoke to her. He wouldn't be long. Aaron would be pleased.

A few minutes after her call to Jackson had ended Paddy turned up "How is he?" he asks, slightly panicked by seeing Chas standing outside "He's awake" she says with a grin "he's awake" They were allowed back inside the room, the Doctor telling them that everything seemed fine and all being well, after he'd been assessed a little later he should be allowed to go home. Chas and Paddy were beyond relieved.

"Alright son?" Chas asks upon walking back in, a grin firmly on place. Aaron pulls a face and says "why am I here?"

"You don't remember?" she asks and he shakes his head.

"There was an accident at the garage, Jackson found you lying unconscious, he called the ambulance. You worried us all sick"

"Jackson?" Aaron asks, with a frown

"Yeah, I called him, he's coming. Don't worry" she says patting his arm which is quickly pulled away from her. Aaron looks at Paddy "When can I get out of here then?" he asks "I hate hospitals"

"I hoped you wouldn't have me back here for a long time, second time in a year eh? You gotta stop giving me a heart attack" when Chas is finished she notes how Aaron is looking at her, he's looking at her like she's stupid but she just shrugs it off, putting it down to him being his usual charming self.

"Jackson came in last night, completely off his face. Think he was drowning his sorrows, Declan had to bring him home" Paddy offers up and Aaron just pulls a face and nods as Chas says "Poor lad, he was worried sick"

As Aaron and Paddy talk Chas sits back and can't take her eyes off of her son. There's something niggling at her, something wasn't right. She could sense it. First of all there was the fact that he hadn't asked for Jackson. He hadn't asked for him when he woke up or since then, and when she brought him up he just looked confused. Then there was his reaction to her comment about putting her through this twice within one year, he looked confused about that. Maybe it was just her being paranoid and she hoped it was but she had a weird feeling that everything wasn't right with her one and only son.

Xxx

After getting the phone call from Chas Jackson pulled his clothes off as quickly as he could, luckily when she called he was just out of the shower otherwise he would have been heading up there stinking of stale alcohol. He pulled into the car park at just after half past nine, he was rather proud of how quickly had had gotten there. He quickly found a space to park before running towards the entrance and towards Aaron.

He hoped that Aaron was still in the same room as last night as that's where he was headed. Two minutes later he was outside of the hospital room and pushing the door open. A pair of blue eyes were on him instantly and he was ignoring the other two sets of eyes that were now on him aswell. He was pretty sure he had never been as happy to see those familiar blue eyes as he was at that very moment.

"Hey" he smiled, walking further into the room, the door closing behind him. When Aaron frowned though he stopped walking and he himself frowned. Aaron looked at Paddy, Chas and then back to Jackson "Alright mate" Aaron says with a tight smile.

Mate? Jackson was beyond confused. Aaron didn't look in the least bit happy to see him, in fact he was looking at him as if he'd never seen him before in his life.

"Do I know you?" Aaron finally asks after having had enough of being stared at by some guy "It's Jackson" Paddy says and Aaron turns to him "the guy that found me?" he asks and shrugs before turning to Jackson and saying "Cheers mate"

Paddy, Chas and Jackson share a look "It's Jackson Aaron" Chas stresses. Slowly Jackson is taking steps towards the foot of Aaron's bed "Am I meant to know him or something?" he asks "cause I've never seen him before in my life"

Jackson's eyes widen, never seen him before in his life? What the hell?

Paddy being Paddy, with his tendency says "Yeah, your boyfriend, remember" nudging Aaron in the arm.

"MY WHAT?" Aaron demanded his tone angry his eyes wide as Paddy's words registered in his brain. His eyes were once again on Jackson, looking him up and down "I aint gay"

Chas looked at Jackson who just looked lost right now as he stared at his boyfriend "Aaron" she says to get his attention but he's not about to give her it easily "who's been saying I'm gay?" he demands looking between Jackson, Paddy and Chas.

"Aaron!" Chas snaps and he finally looks at her "What age are you?"

He looks at her like she's crazy and she says "humour me"

"Eighteen"

"What month is it?"

"February" he says quickly as if she was once again asking another stupid question.

Chas shakes her head "what? What are you on about?" Aaron asks, again his gaze flicking to Jackson who's just standing there watching his boyfriend, he's concerned and worried but he's letting Chas do the talking.

"It's November Aaron, almost December"

The three other occupants of the room watches as Aaron took in this information; he frowned, scowled and looked completely lost all at the same time. Jackson just wanted to hold him but knew he couldn't. This Aaron, the Aaron in front of him wasn't out and hadn't been in a relationship with him for the past five, almost six months.

"You're lying" he says, glaring at her "It's not November" he turns to Paddy "give us your phone" Paddy does as he is asked and Aaron scrolls through the phone, his eyes widening as he does so. He immediately looks at Jackson, then Chas and back to Paddy.

"You're saying I've forgotten stuff?"

"I'll get the Doctor" Chas says and makes her way out of the hospital room, Jackson follows her and together they inform the Doctor of their suspicions.

Jackson and Chas wait outside of the room, whilst the Doctor speaks to Aaron, he wanted Paddy there. Jackson knew it hurt Chas that he pushed her away but he couldn't say anything, he was too lost in his own thoughts.

"He'll be alright" Chas says to him

"Alright?" Jackson asks "do you remember how hard it was for him to come out the first time? It's going to be even worse now. At least then he knew what had happened to get him to the point of coming out. Now he doesn't"

"But it's different, we all know now. You'll help him won't you?"

"Of course I will" Jackson says immediately "but I'm not putting up with the old Aaron, the old Aaron and his temper"

"He won't do anything"

"You don't know that and I know that if, or when he gets his memory back he'd hate himself for doing something stupid but I'm not willing to risk it. Not again. We almost split up not long ago because of that temper and since then he's been better but..." Jackson left the words unspoken, knowing Chas would get what he was meaning.

Silence reigned between the two of them until the Doctor comes out of the room. Chas approaches him; Jackson follows "What's wrong with him?"

The Doctor explains that the hit on the head has caused some memory loss but that he doesn't think it will be permanent. Once his brain has had time to heal he thinks his memory will return "So what do we do?" Chas asks

"Just try and be normal, get him back into his routine, remind of things if you have to, it'll come back" he says with a small nod of his head and a smile.

When the Doctor walks away Chas turns to Jackson "Ready to go back in?"

"What are the chances he's going to want to see me?"

Chas takes a deep breath "I don't know" she admits "but you heard what the Doctor said, normal routine and that includes you" she grabs his shirt and pulls him into the hospital room "so move your ass"

Xxx

Inside the hospital room the atmosphere was a tense one. Aaron's eyes had barely left Jackson as he stood at the foot of the bed. Chas was talking at him, telling him that he'd get his memory back soon, Paddy agreeing with her.

"Right" she says clapping her hands together and finally Aaron gave her his attention, as did Jackson "We'll leave you two alone"

"What why?" Aaron says and it's the most Jackson has heard him say since he came back into the room.

"Because" Chas says "I think you two need to have a talk, he can tell you more than I can and I'm sure you have questions"

With that Chas pulled a reluctant Paddy out of the hospital room

"You sure we should leave them alone? You know what Aaron was like before he came out"

"And so does Jackson. He can handle him; he can also tell him things we can't. They'll be fine, come on" she says pulling him "take me back to the village"

Xxx

With Chas gone Jackson moves himself to where she was standing and Aaron's eyes follow him "How are you feeling?" he asks, it's a stupid question but he couldn't really think of anything else to say.

Aaron grunts a response to which Jackson smiles "Must be weird right? You think no one knows and everyone knows, not only do they know but you have a boyfriend?"

After the longest silence between them in maybe forever Aaron finally finds his voice "I was never planning on telling anyone" he says "I was going to be..." he lets the words die and Jackson nods "I know" he tells him "I know how you feel and how you felt"

Exhaling loudly Aaron says "So... I came out?"

"Yeah"

"How? When?" he asks still unable to believe that he had in fact came out. He'd always known he was gay, one way or another but he was never going to give into it.

"It wasn't easy" Jackson tells him "but you managed to do it"

"You were there?" Jackson nods "You've been there since?"

"More or less"

"What does that mean?"

"It means me and you are complicated. I was there when you came out, but getting there, getting you to come out it was...It wasn't easy"

Aaron pulls a face "What do you mean? What happened?" he asks "I clearly can't remember a thing"

"I don't know if I should tell you or not"

"Tell me" Aaron barks, it's an order and Jackson frowns but eventually gives in, those blue eyes always make him give in in the end. "You tried to kill yourself"

Aaron's eyes widen "There was a lot more to it, some of it I know, some of it you've never told me but I don't want to tell you anymore"

Aaron nods taking a deep breath "I want my memory back" he bites out "I can't believe I've forgotten the past nine months, how crazy is that?"

"The Doctor said you'll remember sooner or later"

"Doesn't help me all that much now does it? I can't remember the fact I came out or anything else I've done"

"You will"

"That's not helping"

Jackson sighs "well what do you want me to do?" he asks "I'm trying to tell you what I can"

That was it, somehow from nowhere an argument started and they started trading insults. Aaron clearly annoyed at losing him memory and finding out he's gay when he can't even remember admitting it to himself let alone anyone else and Jackson frustrated at the situation also. Having his boyfriend look at him like he didn't know him was quite a bad feeling, he didn't like it. He didn't know what the next few weeks would be like but he was betting they weren't good.

"I'm not a fairy" Adam pushes the door open and immediately senses the tension between the two of them, "everything alright?"

Jackson had never been as pleased to see the farmer as he currently was "Thank god" he says "He's getting right on my nerves" he says pointing at the mechanic "he's lost some of his memory" Jackson explains "he can't remember anything since sometime in February"

"I can speak for myself you know" Aaron interrupts causing Jackson to roll his eyes and say "usually you just grunt, quicker for me"

Aaron scowls at him and Adam shakes his head laughing "seriously?" he asks "You can't remember anything? Court? Coming out? Trying to kill yourself"

"No" Jackson says "but you've just given him questions"

Adam pulls a face "Crap. Sorry"

"Whatever" Jackson says with a sigh "I need to get out of here for a while, you can answer his questions" with that said Jackson pats Adam on the back and with one last glance at Aaron he walks out of the hospital room leaving the two friends' alone.

Xxx

"So I'm gay huh?" Aaron says to Adam once Jackson has gone "surprised you want anything to do with me"

Adam rolls his eyes and perches himself on the edge of the bed "Yeah, you're gay. Tried to kiss me and everything"

Aaron's eyes widen "I didn't?"

"You did" Adam tells him "but that was after you had hit your head, we were in an accident. I think it's what started you coming to terms with this whole thing. I wouldn't let it go" he tells him "I was a bit of a prat but we're good now"

"And Jackson?"

"What about him?"

"What's he like?" Aaron asks "I can't believe I came out"

Adam laughs "Jackson's a good guy; he has to be to put up with all the crap you give him"

Aaron pulls a face "You'll get used to it, everyone knows, you just have to realise that and Jackson? He's a good guy"

Adam and Aaron spend the next few hours chatting, talking about what Aaron couldn't remember and other stuff, unimportant stuff just to pass the time and before they knew it, Chas was walking through the door.

"Alright" she says stopping short when she sees Adam "Where's Jackson?"

"He left earlier" Adam explains and immediately Chas glares at Aaron "what did you say to him?" she demands to know "You push that lad away when you get your memory back you're going to regret it and hate yourself by then you might have lost him for good"

Adam's eyes widen but he stays quiet, scared to interrupt the Dingle "I swear it Aaron, you better get over the fact that you're gay and get to know Jackson because you'll regret it"

"Alright, alright" Aaron rolls his eyes "he left earlier, he said he'd be back"

"He wouldn't have just left, you must have said something"

"They had a little tiff" Adam admits to her, causing Aaron to scowl at him "but Jackson will be back, you know Jackson"

"Yeah" Chas agrees "but I also know that they just went through a hard time and he was lucky Jackson gave him another chance. He screws this up he won't get another one"

Eventually Chas calmed down and stopped lecturing him, by that time though Adam had left promising to look in on Jackson and tell him he was wanted at the hospital. At half past five the Doctor came and told Aaron that apart from the memory loss he seemed to be healthy so they would allow him to go home but he was to take it easy, not go back to work until his head had healed and that he was to visit his nurse to get the bandage on his head changed. He had asked about his memory loss but the Doctor said he couldn't do anything about that, it was up to Aaron and his family to somehow bring them back.

"You're going home tomorrow then" Chas says "I'm going back to the village, I'm sending Jackson up here, you'll have to sort things out before you go home"

Aaron pulls a face and shrugs his shoulders "Whatever" he says and Chas hands him the bag she had brought up with her. It contained his phone, IPod and some clothes for him to wear, he was grateful.

Xxx

Once Chas is gone Aaron pulls out his mobile from the bag she had given him, it was the same mobile as he remembered, at least something's hadn't changed. He pulled out his IPod too, turning it on and sticking the ear phones in as he turned on his phone. Surely his phone would contain something that could help him remember the last few month or at least jog his memory a little bit.

He scrolled to the text messages; his last message was from Adam, telling him to come visit. He also seemed to have quite a lot from Jackson. He looked at the messages he had sent to Jackson and the replies to his text messages. He couldn't quite believe it. He was flirting with the guy, by text. He was clearly more accepting of this whole gay thing than he thought. How could he accept it so quickly? He had no clue but he was sure he would find out. The text messages he had seemed to go back quite far, in fact his text messages to and from Jackson seemed to stem all the way back to March. He decided that reading them would be a good idea, just to see what kind of guy Jackson was and what they had been saying to each other. He would also read messages from other people, hoping they could help him too. Victoria's messages were bound to be helpful, what with the fact she has something to say about everything.

Aaron was pulled from his reading sometime later when someone walked into the room, looking up he saw it was Jackson. Keeping his phone in his hand he smiles at him "hey"

"Alright?" Jackson asks, looking a little nervous "Your Mum told me if I didn't get up here she'd kill me" he points out "but if you don't want me here I'll just go back, make sure she doesn't see me obviously"

"I've just been looking through my phone" Aaron explains, pulling the earphones from his ear "Oh yeah?" Jackson asks "Find anything interesting?"

"Texts" he says with a small nod and Jackson notes how he looks quite thoughtful "Read one I sent you telling you I wished you had bird flu?"

Jackson smiles and a laughs, remembering the text

"And then another one after that begging you to come see me"

"Yeah, that was a while ago"

"According to the date on the text it was just the end of September"

"Long time ago" Jackson points out "We're over it, and over the texts that got sent not long after that, at the start of October. We're good now, for once. Well, except for... you know" he finishes gesturing towards Aaron.

"Except for the fact that I can't remember you at all?"

"Except for that"

Aaron laughs out loud "I've had a lot of people telling me that I can't let my memory loss affect me and you"

"But it's hard right? I mean, you're not comfortable with the thought of being gay, are you?"

Aaron shook his head "I get it Aaron and I'm not here to push you into anything. I'm quite patient"

"But I'm your..."

"Yeah, you are which is why I'm not about to push you into anything, I'm just here for when you want to talk, if you remember or want to know, just think of me as your new best friend"

They descend into silence and as it drags on Jackson knows he'll have to be the one to say something. Even with his full memory intact Aaron is never that good at starting up a conversation.

"Your Mum says you're getting out tomorrow?"

"Yeah" Aaron says with a nod "Adam told me we live together"

"In Smithy yeah" Jackson agrees "but I gave that some thought on the way up here, what with the current situation and everything"

"So you're going to move out?" Aaron says guessing what the older man was about to say.

Jackson nods

"Why?"

"Well you can't remember me, or the fact you came out. I don't want you to be uncomfortable"

Aaron takes it in, nods before saying "But where will you go?" with everything that he had heard, read and seen, from pictures, texts, his Mum and Adam he was sure they all thought he wouldn't be best pleased if Jackson had moved out when his memory returns.

"I'll find somewhere, don't worry"

Aaron pulls a face "Everyone knows I'm gay right?"

Jackson nods

"Everyone knows you stay with me?" another nod

"Then just stay" Aaron says

"In bed, with you? Aaron you can't remember me"

"We share a bed?" Aaron says quickly, hiding a smirk and feigning ignorance "I guessed we share a bed"

"Well you are my boyfriend" Jackson retorts, with his own smirk "it's what you usually do with your boyfriend"

"Look" Aaron says turning serious "Clearly people know I'm gay, the only one that has to get used to it is me. I can't do that if you avoid me can I?"

Jackson shrugs, the mechanic has a point. He has a point but also he knows that it's not going to be that easy for Aaron to accept, no matter how much of a brave face he puts on it. Jackson knows him better than that and he probably knows him better than anyone ever has.

Xxx

"You sleep naked" Jackson feels he has to point out to the young mechanic

"Yeah" Aaron says scrunching his face up

"Probably shouldn't do that for a while"

"Why not?" Aaron asks having stopped himself from saying _'It's not like you haven't seen it before, right?'_

Pulling a face "You probably won't like what it'll do to me"

"Oh" he says, eyes widening as he realises quickly what it was that Jackson was getting at.

Xxx

"What are you doing?" Hazel asks as she stands by the door of the living room, looking in on her son. Jackson sighs "Mum" he says calmly "He can't remember coming out, he can't remember me, sharing a bed with me. I'm not going to make him uncomfortable by sleeping right next to him"

"So you're going to sleep on that ratty old thing?" she asks pointing at the sofa

Jackson shrugs, he had fallen asleep on it before, granted he had been with Aaron on a number of those occasions but still, he could sleep on it for a while "Or I could move out for a while"

"Does he want any of this?"

"He's putting a brave face on it" Jackson explains "He doesn't want to share a bed with a man and not even me because right now? He's not the Aaron that I know"

"He can make up his own mind!"

"Mum" Jackson sighs "just leave it eh? Stay out? I know what I'm doing"

"You're not going to get a good night's sleep on that thing" she points out once more before walking back into the kitchen.

Aaron was home from the hospital and in the short space of time he had had numerous visitors which had meant they hadn't really had much time alone, just the two of them to talk things through and bedtime was fast approaching. Jackson could sense that Aaron was dreading it.

It was eleven and Paddy had already gone to bed and Hazel was on her way "I'm going up" she pops her head back around the door frame to say "Leave you two to chat and sort things out"

Hazel passes Aaron on the stairs and they share a quick goodnight greeting. Jackson is also aware that it's going to take Aaron time to get used to his Mother, again. It had taken him a while when he had first met her anyway, it should take about the same length of time only this time he was sure his Mother wouldn't be quite so in his face.

Xxx

"What are you doing?" Aaron asks upon seeing Jackson with the sheet and duvet on the arm of the couch "I'm going to sleep here" the builder explains

"Why?"

"Because" Jackson says taking a step closer to him "You're bricking it"

"I'm not"

Jackson's cocks an eyebrow and his point is made, he runs his fingertips lightly down the side of Aaron's arm, watching as the muscle in the mechanic's jaw tightens and his whole body becomes tense.

"See" he says "You're not actually comfortable yet and sleeping next to me, isn't going to work, not your first night home anyway"

Aaron hates to be proved wrong and grunts something before looking away, Jackson grins "Hey" he says softly, touching Aaron's elbow "Wanna just watch a DVD or would you rather go to sleep?"

Aaron thinks about it for a minute before saying "I'll watch a film, got any beers?"

"In the fridge" Jackson says throwing himself onto the couch "You can get them" he adds "Cause I'm too tired to move"

With a roll of his eyes and a complaint about how he was the one that should be waited on as he was just out of the hospital Aaron did as Jackson said and retrieved the beers from the fridge. Back in the living room he had a silent debate in his head. Where did he sit? In the chair? The sofa with no one on it or beside Jackson? Deciding that he was going to have to get on with the life he had, he sat down beside Jackson, handing him a beer. Aaron was aware that they're legs were touching but either Jackson hadn't noticed or it wasn't as big a deal to him as it was to him. Of course it wouldn't be a big deal to Jackson, he was used to him. He was used to parts of his body touching his, intimately even. Thinking about that, about sex and how Aaron was sure he and Jackson would have had sex at some point he tries to stop himself from feeling sick. He clearly had no problem having sex with the older man because they shared a bed, in his house. He wished he could remember, he prayed his memories would return quickly.

Xxx

When the film was over Aaron noticed that Jackson was fast asleep, he was curled up on the sofa, his feet pushing against the side of Aaron's thigh and for the first time Aaron was able to watch him. To look at him without anyone around, he knew he was gay he'd just never thought he'd admit it. Jackson was good looking, extremely in fact. He could see why he was with him, what would have attracted him to the guy but he still couldn't believe they were a couple that lived together. He wanted to touch him, to see what it was like to touch another man but at the same time he didn't. He was scared to get too close. It wouldn't be right. Grabbing the duvet from the chair arm he threw it over Jackson's sleeping form before disappearing up stairs.

Xxx

It has been two days since Aaron had gotten out of hospital which made it Sunday night. It had been decided that he would go back to the garage the following day, so that everything continued like normal, well almost anyway.

"You know" Aaron says interrupting the silence between them as they sit in the Woolpack "for a builder you don't do much work do you?"

"It's the weekend" Jackson points out "So are you working tomorrow?"

"No" Jackson answers with a laugh "We decided before the accident that I was going to give up work and be a kept man"

Aaron is eyeing him suspiciously wondering if he's telling the truth of not "I start next week" Jackson finally relents "You weren't looking forward to it" he adds "though now you probably are"

"Why wasn't I looking forward to it?"

"Cause I'll be busy, we'll hardly see each other apart from at weekends and even then, I might be working them"

Aaron nods, allowing the information to seep in "but like I said, you'll probably happy about it now"

Suddenly, out of nowhere Aaron says "Where's Clyde?" it had only just occurred to him that he hadn't seen his dog since getting out of hospital. The way Jackson's expression changed Aaron knew whatever came out of the builder's mouth wasn't going to be good.

"He's dead Aaron, he died last month"

"What? Why? How?"

Jackson sighs before looking at the bar, the floor and the ceiling before finally locking eyes with Aaron again "It's a long story. We scattered his ashes in the woods though"

Aaron can't believe that his beloved dog is dead "Can't believe it. He was as tough as old boots"

Clearing his throat Jackson gets up and says "Another pint?" Aaron nods but it's clear to him that Jackson is changing the subject. He'll just have to ask someone else what happened to Clyde, probably Adam, Adam will tell him.

When Jackson returns to the table he says "Bar West, what do you think?"

Aaron stares at him "Am I meant to know what that is?"

"Gay bar. I thought we could go"

Aaron's eyes widen "A gay bar?" he croaks out "I dunno"

"Come on Aaron. We go there almost every week; we're going before I go back to work. We'll go on Tuesday once you've finished work"

Aaron looks far from pleased with that idea "We'll take Adam with us, Adam likes it there"

"Adam goes to a gay bar?"

"You don't have to be gay to go there you know" Jackson points out "You can go just to have a good time"

"Yeah, I know" Aaron says with a look on his face that tells Jackson everything he needs to know. He smiles to himself because he loves the front Aaron puts up mostly because he can see right through it.

Xxx

Later on that night and Jackson has just finished up his shower. The couch is killing him and it's only going to be his third night. He longs for the bed he shares with Aaron and secretly hopes that after their trip to Bar West Aaron might feel a little better about sharing. He can't stay on that couch much longer and if he has to move into Dale View for a few days/weeks he will.

With a towel wrapped around his waist Jackson has to go into their bedroom to change. Aaron was downstairs when he decided to shower and he was hoping that's where he still was although Jackson had no problem with the mechanic seeing him naked, Aaron would be the one with the problem.

Fate would have it though that as he's walking the short distance from the bathroom to the bedroom they practically collide with each other. Jackson having to grab the towel to hold it in place. This would be the first time, since the accident, that Aaron has seen Jackson anywhere close to naked.

Aaron's eyes are drawn to the droplets of water currently running down the builder's neck. He keeps telling himself to look away but he can't and Jackson isn't moving either. He's knows deep down that he's gay. He can smell another man in his bed, he's read his text messages and he's seen the marks on his body left by Jackson. He wants to touch the other man; he wants to know what it feels like because he is attracted to him. Who wouldn't be? He's hot but he's scared what if he flips out? He's taking things slow because he doesn't want anyone to get hurt and whenever he thinks about moving things on, his heart rate increases and he starts to sweat.

"Enjoying the view?" Jackson asks and Aaron's eyes immediately meet his "Uh..." he stutters "maybe?"

Jackson grins "I'm just going into the room to change" he explains, pointing at the bedroom door "are you coming or not?"

After a few more seconds of hesitation Aaron shakes his head "I'm going to the bathroom" he says before hurrying in the said direction. Leaving Jackson to laugh and shake his head. It seemed Aaron was coming around, slowly but it was coming. He could wait.

Xxx

Tuesday came around quickly for both Jackson and Aaron and as Jackson suggested they headed off towards Bar West with Adam. The night however didn't last very long. Some guy, a guy slightly older than Aaron hit on him whilst he had been at the bar ordering a round for the three men and Aaron? Well he hadn't taken it very well which resulted in them being asked to leave rather than thrown out and they were only not thrown out because Jackson knew the manager and had explained about Aaron.

Jackson wasn't talking to him though. He thought he had been making progress. He had even managed to remember small things from the past nine months. He had remembered him, briefly but it had been their argument about his birthday and he had also remembered the day in which he tried to kill himself, that had happened on Monday when he had gone back to the garage, small things were coming back but it wasn't quick enough for Jackson. Aaron's accident had only been one week ago but already it was taking its toll on him and on their relationship.

Xxx

Aaron didn't know what to do. Yeah, he had freaked out at the gay bar but the guy didn't just hit on him, he started touching him. What the hell was he meant to do? Jackson hadn't spoken to him since then, not even in the taxi home and Aaron wasn't sure why but he wasn't very happy about that.

It was now Thursday and almost two full days in which Jackson would avoid him at all costs. He needed to pin the builder down and talk to him but it seemed as if it wasn't possible. He'd nipped back to Smithy on his lunch break hoping to find him but he didn't and instead he found his Mother. He'd tried to back out of the house before she spotted him but it was too late and she was saying "Don't you dare move, we need to talk"

"I've gotta get back to work" he says trying to get away but she's not having it and she's pulling him back and forcing him into a chair "Not until we've had a chat huh? About how you fix this mess that you're causing between you and Jackson?"

He was late back to work in the end but he didn't care. Hazel had actually spoken some sense. He knew that he liked Jackson, there was just something there that told him he didn't want to upset or lose him. He may not have had his memories but it seemed to him like whatever feelings he may have had for Jackson were there and he could still feel them even without the memories that put them there. Hazel suggested he make a gesture and so he'd decided that they would try Bar West again only this time they would try it alone. All he had to now was get Jackson to agree, he quickly sent off a text to the builder.

**I'm sorry, Bar West tonight at 7? **

What seemed like hours between the text being sent and his phone receiving a reply finally came and it turned out he didn't actually wait that long, just five agonising minutes.

**Alright. You screw up again and I'll kill you**

Aaron smiled at the text and sent another

**I won't. See you at home around 6? **

Jackson's reply was a simple

**OK**

From then on out Aaron's mood improved greatly, he felt better and he wasn't dreading his trip to the gay bar as much as he had been on Tuesday which he guessed was progress of sorts.

Xxx

At half past six Aaron and Jackson were in the kitchen of Smithy when the door went, it was Adam "Ready boys?" he says with a grin slapping his hands together.

"What are you doing here?" Aaron barks, looking between his best friend and the builder "I invited him" Jackson points out "thought it best"

"But..." Aaron trails off, unwilling to admit in front of Adam that he had wanted it to be just them "Safer this way" Jackson adds just as the taxi appears outside "come on"

Adam hangs back and grabs hold of Aaron's arm "Want me to go home?"

"No" Aaron answers "he wants you there, safer. Whatever that means" with a nod he grabs his leather jacket "come on"

Inside Bar West Jackson is at the bar and Aaron is less than pleased "Is it me or is he trying to avoid me?"

Adam sighs, currently wishing he'd stayed at home "He's just worried Aaron"

"Worried? About what?"

"Well, he can remember what happened when you were struggling to come out the first time, he's just trying to avoid that happening"

"What happened?"

"Doesn't matter"

Aaron isn't about to let it drop though "Adam, tell me"

"You were seeing him and he turned up at the Woolpack, he touched your arm and you couldn't handle it. You hit him"

"I hit him?"

Adam nods and Aaron is left wondering why exactly the builder was still with him "He got you arrested and he charged you"

"He charged me?" now he was wondering why he was with the builder

"You got community payback, there's more to it but I'm not telling you anymore. He's just worried you'll fly off the handle again if he gets too close before you start to remember"

"Can you go back to the village?" Aaron asks suddenly and Adam pulls a face "Come on man" Aaron adds "Just go"

"You owe me pint" Adam says as he grabs his jacket and makes for the exit.

Aaron has no clue what he's going to say when Jackson gets back but he's going to at least try to talk to him. He doesn't have to worry that he's going to hit him again because he's not. He may have done that the first time around but this time, yeah he couldn't remember him but he had reminders of him. He had reminders of him everywhere he looked and there was the fact that Cain had spoken to him about Jackson and Ryan. Everyone seemed fine with him being gay, so fine in fact that he was starting to accept it.

Jackson hadn't seen Adam leave "Where's Adam?"

"Told him go"

"Why?"

"Cause I think we need to talk, Adam told me about what I did"

Jackson sighs "Adam's never been good at keeping his mouth shut"

"How did we even get back together after all of that?"

"Adam" Jackson answers "He got me a job in the village, right next to the garage and the rest...Well, it's history as they say"

"Can we just... get to know each other? I want to remember and the only way I can do that is to spend time with you, alone. I mean, we did do that right?"

"Yeah, we did that"

"So can we? Just spend tonight getting to know each other?"

"Yeah" Jackson smiles, he could give him that. Anything that got him his Aaron back he could do "We can do that"

Aaron's face lights up at that and Jackson can't help but grin back at him, there may not be any memories as of right now but Jackson was sure they weren't far away and he was also pretty sure that Aaron had feelings for him, of some sort at least.

It's one am in the morning when they stagger out of Bar West, they're both drunk. Along with getting to know one another again, or rather, Aaron being filled in on what he didn't already know about Jackson they had consumed mass amounts of alcohol, it had helped the evening pass quickly. To Jackson's surprise when a couple of his mates turned up at the Bar and joined them Aaron hadn't kicked off, he didn't look too pleased about the situation but he didn't kick off. He just grunted a little when they spoke about him or two him, it was progress because normally whenever his friends would turn up Aaron would spend his evening taking ages to get served at the bar until he'd return to the table jacket in hand and say "I'm going, are you coming or what?" That hadn't happened and Jackson was happy, maybe this memory loss would have a good outcome in the end, even if it was Aaron talking in a civil tongue to his friends.

Leaning up against the wall of the bar to support himself Aaron says "We need a taxi"

"There's always the night bus"

Aaron scoffs "That takes ages and they're every hour, taxi!"

Xxx

It was closer to two by the time they stumbled through the door Smithy, trying and failing to keep their noise to a minimum "Paddy'll kill us"

"He'll get over it" Jackson assures him, he knows that Paddy won't mind, especially if it might help Aaron get his memory back and hanging out with him, at Bar West, like they would usually do was bound to help that.

Inside the kitchen Jackson is making coffee, to at least try and sober himself up "Want one?"

"Yeah thanks" Aaron answers quickly and Jackson doesn't even turn around, which is why he fails to notice the way Aaron is looking at him.

"What the..." Jackson says, jumping when he feels something, someone behind him. He turns to find Aaron standing behind him, with a look that he recognises but hadn't been expecting to see until his memory returned. He couldn't speak, couldn't move all he could do was wait and see what Aaron's next move would be.

Aaron could feel his heart beating against his chest, the rhythm was fast and furious. He was as nervous as hell as he stood there in front of Jackson. He was going to kiss him and he found himself wondering if Jackson knew that. He wasn't moving, he wasn't even saying anything. He seemed to be waiting on him making the next move.

Eventually he did. Eventually he gathered up the courage to kiss the older man and when he did, he kind of lost himself in the kiss. It was as if his body craving Jackson and wasn't about to let him go until it had had enough, after being deprived for so long. He was pushing the builder back against the kitchen counter and it felt good, it felt right. It didn't feel wrong, he thought it would.

Jackson didn't know what to say when they pulled apart. Aaron was panting, desperately trying to catch his breath. His blue eyes were wide and lust filled, Jackson didn't want to see that look that look would have him grabbing him, pulling him up stairs and doing something he wouldn't regret but something Aaron would. At least until he regained his memory.

"Don't sleep on the couch tonight" the words are out of his mouth before he's even thought them through but even with that he doesn't want to retract them when Jackson says "are you sure?"

He wasn't sure, not really. He knew he was drunk and that his body, his hormones were merely reacting to the kiss and his close proximity to the very attractive builder but he wanted Jackson in his bed even if it was just for sleep.

"Just to sleep though" Aaron says, making himself clear, he wasn't sure he was up for anything else at this stage. They could take the step to share the bed, test the waters so to speak before trying anything else.

"Ok" Jackson says, he can handle that, it would mean his back wasn't being put to the test by that old sofa "come on then" he says grabbing the mechanic's hand and leading him upstairs.

Inside the bedroom Jackson expected Aaron to turn away or go in the other room to get undressed but he didn't nor did he hide the fact he was blatantly perving on him as he stripped for bed "liking the view?" Jackson couldn't help but ask

"Yeah" Aaron admitted and Jackson was sure he was blushing but with the dim light he couldn't tell for sure. They climbed into their sides of the bed and Jackson killed the light. He had never felt this awkward laying in bed next to the mechanic, maybe it was the way Aaron couldn't have gotten further away from him. He didn't know but he felt a little awkward, he just prayed that sooner or later sleep would take him.

Xxx

The alarm clock was what rudely interrupted their sleep the next again morning. "God..." Jackson groaned, reaching out with a hand to turn off the alarm, he didn't want to get up. "Do we have to get up?" came the muffled voice of Aaron. Jackson realised that Aaron was no longer at the opposite side of the bed from him, oh no, he was wrapped around him with his head on in the crook of his neck. He felt the soft breath against his neck causing him to shiver followed by a very gentle kiss. What the hell? Was Aaron drunk "What day is it?"

"Fr... Friday"

"The weekend, good" Aaron mumbles but Jackson had tensed up, he's busy wondering just what the hell Aaron is doing. Feeling his boyfriend tense Aaron opens his eyes and pulls back, peering down at him "What's wrong with you?" he bites "You don't have to work"

"Aaron..."

"What?"

Testing a theory, he leans forward and kisses the teenager and to his complete and utter surprise without hesitation he kisses him back, he pulls back quickly which earns him a disapproving grunt from the mechanic "What's up with you?" Aaron asks and Jackson merely says "You've got your memory back?"

"I've got my..." Aaron's eyes widen as he suddenly remembers "Oh" he looks around the room then back to Jackson "I've got my memory back"

Jackson nods

"How did that happen?" Aaron asks out loud, not really expecting an answer "did you whack me over the head during the night?"

"I wish"

Aaron shrugs "The Doctor said it could just come back"

Jackson nods, he's in shock

"Maybe it was that kiss" Aaron says "Or all the drink"

"Don't care" Jackson says reaching up and pulling the mechanic down on top of him. They have some lost time to make up for and he intends on making it up. Between kisses he says "You'll have to tell Cain you're sick, you're not working today"

Xxx

Reviews are most welcome. I'd love to know what you think.


	19. Cry

**Cry**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale does not belong to me. _

_A/N - I'm aware the ending of some of these stories may seem a little quick, the problem with me is though that I can type for fun and I end up having to end the story otherwise each one shot would end up being in excess of 20,000 words, we can't have that. So I wrap them up quickly! Enjoy! :) And I'm struggling to write the remaining three chapters for this story mostly cause I'm losing the will to live but hey ho..._

* * *

><p>It had been three short years since that first cold, October night where the two had first met. Three years in which a lot had happened to the two of them. They were both now twenty, with Aaron being close to twenty one and Jackson not twenty one until the following summer. When they'd first started their relationship neither one of them were prepared, not really, for the depth of feelings, emotions and problems they would face. They were just kids, stupid kids who thought that they would be alright.<p>

Jackson is and was the sensible one; he thought things through whereas Aaron barged in feet first always making a mess of it, but that quality was one of the many things he loved about the mechanic.

They had barely been together for seven months before they were first tested. Aaron, as always being the cause of it to begin with and from there on out it slowly got worse, the rift between them widened. It widened beyond repair at some point and it all started with Aaron having a confrontation with one of Jackson's friends.

Xxx

_**Just under three years ago **_

"Tim's car's been stolen"

It was Friday afternoon and every Friday afternoon Aaron could be found at the garage in Emmerdale. His cousin owned it but her Father was looking after it and Aaron was being trained up. It's what he wanted to do and it meant he could get out of school sooner so he'd take it. He'd practically left school though. The only reason he still attended was for Jackson, to see him and to spend time with him.

"What you telling me for?" Aaron asks without looking over his shoulder. He heard Jackson come to a stop and guessed he was a few feet behind him but he still didn't turn around and instead he focused on the car in front of him.

Hearing his boyfriend sigh Aaron soon found him standing by his side "Why do you think I'm telling you?" questions Jackson.

"Making conversation?"

"Hmmm. No"

Aaron shrugs

"Well" Jackson goes on "it's just a little suspicious that the night after you and him have an argument his car gets stolen, don't you think?"

Aaron straightens up "You blaming me?" he asks raising his eyebrows and giving his other half a look.

"I know it was you Aaron"

Jackson knew it was him; it was far too much of a coincidence for it not to have been him but he suspected that Aaron would deny it. He wasn't good at admitting things, unless caught and this time he hadn't been caught.

"When was it stolen?"

"Some time early Thursday morning"

Aaron takes a step closer to Jackson and smiles "I was with you then" he reminds him "In your bed, remember?"

Jackson's brows pull together momentarily as he thinks about it. Aaron had a point, they were together then. Aaron had stayed over at his, sleeping on the floor, obviously, well as far as his parents knew anyway. Suddenly though his eyes narrowed "I woke up and you weren't in the bed or the room" Jackson says "I had no idea where you were"

"Bathroom"

"I don't know when you came back either, I fell straight back asleep"

"Why are you so sure this was me?" Aaron demands to know, feeling a little annoyed.

"Do you remember how we met?"

"Going to hold that against me for the rest of my life?" Aaron retorts "anyway, when was the last time I stole a car?"

"Thursday apparently"

Aaron groans loudly and his head rolls back "Jackson" he complains "are you only here to complain to me that someone stole that dicks car?"

"I was just thinking that someone could get it back like I got mine back" Aaron can't help but grin as he says "I doubt it, whoever stole it probably already sold it on. Probably done it that very night. He won't get that back"

"Why do you think I did then?"

"Cause I stole your car" Aaron points out "And I'm a nice guy"

"Nowt to do with you fancying me then?"

Aaron's head straightens up as he glares at Jackson "Shut up" he snaps, anyone could hear him. Jackson rolls his eyes "Who's going to hear me? A fly?"

"Just shut up" Aaron says pushing Jackson back and walking into the garage, Jackson follows "Aaron, calm down eh?"

"You know I don't like you talking about us like that!"

"I'm sorry" Jackson says because he is, he doesn't want anyone finding out just as much as Aaron although, he was closer to gathering up the courage to come than Aaron was. Pulling Aaron into a secluded part of the garage where they would hear someone coming and where they couldn't be seen from anyone walking past. He moves forward and brushes a kiss against Aaron's lips, teasing him, waiting on his responding and eventually he did. With all good things though, it came to an end just as quickly as it had started, before it got out of hand.

"When do you finish?" Jackson asks, not allowing Aaron to move, his fingers massaging the small of his back through the overalls he wore.

"Three"

"Time is it?"

Aaron turns his head to catch the clock "Just after one" he says scrunching his face up "I've been here ages"

"Guess I won't be seeing you tonight then" Jackson says with a frown, a frown that is matched on Aaron's features "Why not?"

"I'm going out" he reminds him "I told you on Wednesday"

"I'll come" Aaron says "I'll bring Adam"

"No" Jackson laughs "I'm going with Tim and all of them, you won't like it. Spend time with Adam and I'll see you on Saturday" he drops a quick kiss onto Aaron's lips and takes his hands from around his waist "I better get back, see if you can find out about his car yeah?"

"Yeah, right" Aaron scoffs, his mood suddenly sour at the thought of Jackson dumping him in favour of spending time with Tim. He hated Tim, he was pretty sure Tim had a thing for Jackson.

"Call you later yeah? And I'll see you tomorrow"

Aaron shakes his head and says "Or not. I might be busy"

Jackson stills, eyeing him carefully. He can tell that he's pissed off, that's clear but why? He would only start a fight if he was around Tim and his other friends; they were allowed out without each other. Shrugging it off he says "I'll call you" and walks away, Aaron watches him go thinking_ 'yeah, but I won't answer you' _

Xxx

At half past three he tried to call only for his first call to ring out to voicemail and his second attempt to be cut off and sent to voicemail after one ring. He tried a couple more times only to be sent to voicemail repeatedly, after that, he got mad. He left Aaron a less than pleasant voicemail telling him to grow up and a few other choice words that he used to hurt the trainee mechanic. He could be a annoying git sometimes. He was sure they would patch it up the next day though, even although he had told him in the voicemail that he wouldn't be calling him for the rest of the weekend but he would, he knew he would and he was pretty sure Aaron knew he would.

Xxx

Aaron was a stubborn git though and he was determined not to answer Jackson's calls. He knew he would call and he did. In fact on the Friday night Jackson called him at least twelve times when he was meant to be at a party all of which Aaron ignored. It had been hard, at first, to ignore the calls but it got easier for the mechanic and the fact he was throwing back can after can with Adam helped a lot.

"Where's Jackson?" Adam asked, wondering where the other boy was. He had gotten used to him being around Aaron, the three of them were quite good mates now.

"At a party"

"We're not invited then?"

"You would be" Aaron answers with a scowl "But I stole the car of one of the guys, sold it. Jackson wasn't too happy"

With a laugh Adam asks "Why'd you do that?"

"He got in my face"

The farmer knew not to push it anymore. Aaron had a short fuse, pushing it would only end in an argument and he didn't want that. Not when it seemed he had already had one of those with Jackson.

"You'll make it up" he settled on because he didn't really know what the deal was with Aaron and Jackson and he didn't want to know, knowing would be dangerous but he had his suspicions, suspicions that he would be keeping to himself until Aaron or Jackson decided to tell him.

Xxx

It was Sunday before Aaron couldn't take it anymore. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed him. He missed him a lot. He tried calling him only for Jackson not to answer. He didn't blame him. He guessed he would be pissed off about him not talking just because he was going to a party but the problem was Aaron didn't really want to spend so much time without him, they barely got alone time together as it was. Jackson taking off to spend time with a bunch of idiots when they could be spending time together just didn't sit well with him. He would work on it.

Jumping out of bed at ten am he quickly pulled on some clothes and made his way to the bus stop. He was headed to Jackson's. He didn't know if he would be there or not but it was worth a try, at least anyway. On the bus journey he tried calling a couple more times but it rang out, again. By the time he got to Jackson's house he was convinced he wouldn't want to see him. Knocking on the door, he waited a couple of seconds before it was answered, by Hazel, Jackson's Mother.

"Is Jackson in?"

"Yeah love, still in his bed though"

"Oh, i'll come back later"

Hazel quickly shakes her head "No!" she says quickly "You go and get them up, they stumbled in sometime this morning, they deserve it"

Aaron's eyebrows pulled together when she said "they" but he didn't question her on it. He would see for himself soon enough anyway.

He climbed the stairs that led to the bedroom, with a growing feeling on unease in the pit of his stomach. Who had Jackson came home with? Why had they stayed? Where had they stared? He decided not to knock; he wanted to see whatever was behind the door for himself. Pushing the door open he was faced with the last thing he wanted to see. Jackson and Tim, in bed and Tim was practically wrapped around his boyfriend. It pissed him off, the only thing keeping him calm was the fact that they both still seemed to have their clothes on.

He couldn't take his eyes off of Jackson's slumbering form; he was hoping that Jackson would sense him or at least sense someone watching him and wake up but no. In order to wake them up Aaron slammed the bedroom door closed behind him as loudly as he possibly could. It worked. The two of the quickly jumped up rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"What the..." Tim mumbled sleepily but Jackson had already seen him "What are you doing here?"

"You're Mum wanted me to wake you" Aaron says trying to keep his tone as neutral as possible "What time is it?" Tim asks but Aaron isn't about to answer him. Jackson grabs his phone from the bedside drawer; he notices the missed calls but answers Tim "Almost eleven"

"Shit" Tim says jumping up and fixing his hair "I've gotta get home" he makes for the door throwing "I'll call you" over his shoulder as he goes. Once he was gone it left Aaron and Jackson alone, with a very uncomfortable silence between the two of them.

"What are you doing here?" Jackson barks, after the silence has dragged on long enough, both of them staring the other out. It was pointless and Jackson would like to get back to sleep. He had a killed headache.

"Interrupt something did I?"

"Hardly, we were asleep and fully clothed"

"You've ignored me since yesterday"

"You ignored me yesterday and Friday, because I didn't want to play with you for one night, I do have other friends Aaron"

With his arms folded Aaron leans back against the chest of drawers behind him "Are you going to complain all morning or are you going to get over it?"

"Why should I?" he demands to know and Aaron takes a step closer towards the bed. Jackson's eyes move to the door, it was closed but it wasn't locked and his Mother had a tendency not to knock.

"Cause you've missed me" the mechanic points out "don't pretend you haven't"

He had missed him, terribly. Missing Aaron was part of the reason he had such a bad headache, he'd lost himself in alcohol to stop himself from answering or calling him.

"Missed you?" Jackson scoffs "I had a great time with Tim" anger flashed through Aaron's eyes at that point and his hand was on Jackson's shirt pulling him forward before Jackson even knew what was going on "Tim's a knob" he points out before capturing the lips of his boyfriend in a fierce kiss. They fall back onto the bed, aware that the door was unlocked and that anyone could walk in.

Xxx

Over the next two weeks it became obvious to Aaron that Tim had a thing for Jackson. Wherever Jackson was, Tim seemed to be. It was getting on his nerves. He didn't have to be at school yet he turned up to spend time with Jackson, Tim was ruining that time.

Lunch time and Aaron had no idea when Tim would show up so he had to say what he had to say as quickly as possible.

"I'm going to stop coming to school" Aaron says quickly earning him a confused look from Jackson "Why? It's only February"

"Yeah and I don't have to be here. I don't want to be here. I only come for you"

"So what? I'll get to see you after school though, yeah?"

"If Tim lets you out of his sight"

Jackson is confused "What are you talking about?" he asks pulling a face and sometimes Aaron wonders how Jackson can be so dense.

"He fancies you"

"No he doesn't"

"Yes he does"

"How do you know?" Jackson asks "Tim isn't gay"

"I know how someone looks when they're attracted to someone" the mechanic points out "he practically drools all over you and he makes it pretty clear he can't stand me"

"Not many people can" Jackson points out which earns him a glare from his boyfriend.

"I know he fancies you" Aaron states "because he looks at you like I look at you"

"Do you fancy me Aaron?" Jackson can't help but ask and he's unable to contain the grin that is fast spreading over his face.

"Unfortunately"

Looking at him Jackson aches to touch him, he wants to touch him. He wants to press his lips against his and kiss his worries away but he can't. Not in the middle of lunch, whilst sat on the field for everyone in the school to see so instead he bumps him on the shoulder with his lightly and grins "You love it"

They had been together for five months, give or take a week or two. It wasn't easy, what with the sneaking around and everything but they'd managed to make it work. People just assumed they had become friends, friends that stayed over with each other quite a lot; they had also mastered the art of having sex almost silently. They had to, they both lived with people they did not want finding out about them and the odd occasion they had a free house, well, it was rare.

Aaron had turned eighteen just a few weeks ago although Jackson wasn't eighteen until the following August and he was staying on at school until that. He wasn't planning on going anywhere after school, such as University or anything because he wanted to be a builder but he thought he should stay on and he wanted to. On the weekends and during the holidays he worked with a builder's firm, learning the trade. He loved it and Aaron kinda liked it to, not that he'd admit it out loud though, he didn't want Jackson to know he had a thing for him in his building gear, he'd never live it down.

"Seriously though, I'm through with this crap" Aaron tells him "So... if you want to see me you'll have to come by the village"

"Oh right, I'll have to? So what? If I don't come by the village we'll never see each other?"

"I'm sure Tim would be pleased by that"

"I don't care what Tim would be happy by" just then Tim appeared "Alright guys?" he asks "Don't mind if I join you do you" without waiting on an answer he drops himself down next to Jackson and Aaron moves himself further away from him, he was sitting a little too close anyway. He gives Jackson an 'I told you so' face when Tim all but commands his attention and starts touching him a little too often.

Getting to his feet after a few minutes "I'm going" Aaron announces, unable to watch Tim pawing Jackson for one more minute "I'll come with you" Jackson says trying to get to his feet only for Tim to pull him back

"You can't leave now" Tim tells him "They'll notice"

Aaron glares at Tim and looks back at Jackson, wondering what he's going to do and for a second he thinks he's staying with Tim but Jackson pulls free and says "They won't and if they do, I can't help being sick can I?"

"I'll come"

"Nah" Aaron says taking a menacing step forward, with an almost deadly look in his eye "Don't want to leave Tim, they'll notice you've gone" patting him on the shoulder he adds "be a good boy and stay"

After that they quickly make their way over the field before they can be spotted by a teacher, they have nowhere to go, they can't go home because there's more than likely someone in both of their houses but it doesn't matter, they just want to be together.

Xxx

Aaron didn't return to school after that day, he was done. Which meant the time in which he got to see and spend with Jackson was greatly reduced, even more so now by the fact that he was working full time at the garage. In the month since he had left school Aaron was sure that he could count the amount of time they had seen each other with both hands. It was getting to him.

What was getting to him more than anything though was the fact that whenever he called, Jackson always seemed to be with Tim. He hated Tim, Tim had a new car, he really wanted to steal it but he was trying to go straight. Jackson's lectures were beginning to annoy him.

It was Wednesday afternoon and he was in the garage, he wasn't alone, Cain and Ryan were there also but there wasn't that much work to be done. He'd checked his phone at least one hundred times but there was nothing, nothing from Jackson and not even anything from Adam. He was beyond bored. That was until he got a text on his phone

**I kinda like you in those overalls **

The text made him grin quickly, he tried to control it as his eyes scanned the immediate area and then he spotted him. Jackson was standing at the bottom of the drive, staring at him with a smirk. Without a work to his uncle or Ryan he moved towards him.

"Hey"

"Alright" Jackson grins as the mechanic comes to a stop a foot away from him. Jackson wants to kiss him. He hadn't kissed him in so long. He ached to but not in the middle of the village, not with everyone around.

"What are you doing here?"

Jackson shrugs "School was boring, thought I'd come see you. Don't mind do you?"

"Course not"

"Can you get off?"

Aaron pulls a face, it was unlikely but he really wanted to "there's a party tonight I wanted you to come, what do you think?"

Aaron wants to say 'You'd rather go to a party than spend time with me' but he doesn't instead he turns on his heel throwing "stay here" over his shoulder as he walks towards Cain, hoping his uncle will let him off, there was after all nothing to do.

Cain agreed but not after telling him he'd be making up the time and after that the two of them had headed back to Smithy to spend time together until leaving for the party. The party Aaron really didn't want to go to.

Xxx

The party had been a waste of time Aaron knew that, half the people hated him and the other half were scared of him. He was in the garden when his night suddenly became a lot more interesting and very, very weird.

"Where's Jackson?"

He was in the garden when Tim suddenly appeared at the side of him, he turned to face him, eyebrows raised questioningly "You're his stalker, shouldn't you know?"

Tim laughs out loud at that "Jealous?"

"You what?"

Tim smirks "I know" he says simply "Who would think bad boy Aaron Livesy is gay?"

Anger flashes through Aaron's eyes but he doesn't say anything, just glares "But you know Jackson's too good for you, which is why" he says "Either you dump him and leave him for me or I'll tell everyone" he says before pulling out his phone and showing him a picture he has on it. It's a picture of him and Jackson in a compromising position. He wants to ask how the hell he got that but he doesn't. He continues to glare "Don't think he wants you" he grinds out

"Well" Tim shrugs "When you dump he'll need a shoulder to cry on"

Aaron shakes his head unable to believe the words that are coming out of Tim's mouth "Can you not find your own boyfriend Tim?"

"I've found him"

Aaron's temper is getting the better of him, he can feel it. He has already let his can of beer drop to the ground and both hands are curled into fists "if you know what's good for you you'll walk away" he warns the other boy, but Tim is quite clearly stupid "You're not going to hit me" he points out "cause then I'll tell everyone"

"Oh no? Then I'll tell them you're lying and so will Jackson" Aaron spots Jackson coming towards them over Tim's shoulder, he smirks "Why don't you tell Jackson here what you were just telling me?"

Tim's eyes widen and he spins around "What's this? What you got to tell me?"

"Nothing, nothing" Tim says quickly backing away and Aaron laughs "You sure?"

Tim nods as he backs off, leaving Jackson confused "What was that?"

Aaron laughs and shakes his head "I'll tell you later" he says "How about we get out of here?" he suggests, his eyes darkening slightly as his intentions become clear.

"Let's go" Jackson says all but pulling him out of the house.

Xxx

They didn't know it but that night was the beginning of the end for their secret relationship. From then on out it became apparent rather quickly that they were going to have to come out or someone was going to do it for them.

With him no longer attending school Aaron had no way to stop Jackson from spending time with Tim and after a couple of weeks it was getting to him.

"Tim tried it on yet?" Aaron asks out of nowhere during their Xbox game "What? No" Jackson rolls his eyes "you're paranoid"

Aaron wasn't paranoid, he knew he wasn't but he didn't want an argument because that would be playing into Tim's hands. He had to keep his cool, it wasn't easy.

"I'm going out on Saturday" he says, changing the subject "Who with?" Jackson asks, curious

"Adam, Holly and a few of Holly's mates"

"Right, am I coming?"

"Aren't you busy with Tim?" Aaron's reply was a glare from his boyfriend, "If you want to come" Aaron says finally "but I thought you'd have better things to do, like you have for the past however many Saturdays" They went to bed angry and annoyed with each other that night and Jackson left before Aaron was awake the following day, not only that but he didn't go out with them, instead he found himself in a gay bar. It was over a week before Aaron found out about Jackson's trip to a gay bar, thanks to a slip of the tongue by Jackson himself.

Xxx

"You went where?" Aaron demands, unable to believe what had just been said. Jackson winced at his mistake. He hadn't planned on telling Aaron for this very reason, he knew he would over react. He was prone to doing just that over silly little things.

"School finishes soon" he points out, trying to change the subject but the look on Aaron's face said he wasn't changing the subject. He wanted answers.

"You went out, playing it straight, I was at a loose end"

Aaron tuts and rolls his eyes

"I had a great time though, thanks for asking"

"I didn't ask you" Aaron points out "Cause I couldn't really care" he stands, grabbing his jacket "Where you going?" Jackson asks with an exasperated sigh

"Home" was the curt reply before the bedroom door had swung closed. He let him go because if Aaron wanted to sulk then he could, he wasn't about to stop him. He had gone to a gay bar and yes, one or two guys had hit on him but he had turned them down, telling them he was with someone. He was with someone who at that very moment was playing it straight with his best mate doing god knows what. Just then a text came through on his phone, he grabbed it quickly, guessing who it was from and as expected it was from Aaron.

**For the record, I didn't do anything on Saturday night. Can you say the same? Doubt it. **

So Aaron thought he had cheated, he obviously didn't trust him but then... Jackson hadn't trusted him not to kiss a girl which is why he had gone to the gay bar, to see what was out there. What the hell was happening to them?

Xxx

A week later and they were back on speaking terms, they hadn't touched, well nothing except a quick kiss but apart from that they hadn't really touched intimately in a long time. Aaron was going on holiday with a couple of his friends, friends Jackson didn't know but Jackson was glad, because it gave him time to do what he had to do and that was; come out.

He hadn't told the mechanic that he was going to come out because he knows how he'll take it, he won't like it but he can't go on pretending to be something he isn't.

Saturday after the Friday Aaron left for Ibiza and Jackson is sat in his living room, terrified. He had no idea how to say what he has to say and his Mother keeps looking at him like she knows what's coming.

His coming out hadn't gone as planned. It resulted in his Father practically disowning him and when Aaron returned from his holiday? Well, things got worse. He couldn't handle Jackson being out and quickly ended their relationship. By the time he was eighteen Jackson was out, boyfriend-less and arguing with his parents constantly. It wasn't where he wanted to be.

Xxx

That was all three years ago though because today? Today he was a builder, he was out, he didn't have a relationship with his Father but he had one with his Mother and his boyfriend? Well, he couldn't love him anymore than he does; he's loved him since the minute he laid eyes on him on that rainy October night.

"Oi, you" he hears as he's nudged, he looks up into the deep blue eyes off his boyfriend and smiles.

"Hmmm?"

"You look kinda...lost"

Jackson shrugs "Just thinking"

"Bout what?"

"Us" he says to which Aaron pulls a face "Us? What about us?"

"Past us, you know and how you left me for six months" again Aaron pulls a face before saying "We don't talk about that, remember?" it's true. They don't talk about that because after Jackson had come out it had taken Aaron a further six months to do it himself and it had took him that long to realise that he had to come out because he missed Jackson more than he ever thought possible.

"I know" Jackson says, dropping a quick kiss onto the mechanic's waiting lips before standing up "no need to worry"

Aaron nods

"Buying me this pint then?" the builder asks nodding at the pub "Yeah...Yeah" Aaron says getting to his feet and following his boyfriend, a small happy, content smile on his face as he does so.

Xxx

A/N - REVIEWS ARE MOST WELCOME

A/N


	20. Whispered

**Whispered**

_Disclaimer - I do not own Emmerdale or any of its characters. _

* * *

><p>His eyes opened but the room was in darkness, that's how he liked it these days, complete darkness. Being in the dark helped him avoid the day a little longer, he had no idea what time it was, he couldn't actually believe he had fallen asleep at some point. Sleep, for him, had been few and far between ever since Jackson... Jackson, he was still the first thing on his mind in the morning and the last thing on his mind at night. He couldn't shift it, not that he wanted to. He missed him, everyday he missed him.<p>

His alarm sounded and on instinct his arm swooped out shut it down, turning it off quickly. It was eight am, which meant it was time to get up, go to work and start his day all over again. It was repetitive and without Jackson, it wasn't a good combination.

Swinging his legs out of the bed he was a little surprised to find himself in his bedroom in Smithy. Hadn't he been in the Woolpack? He was confused; maybe somehow he'd fallen asleep in Smithy? Last night was a bit of a blur after all, he couldn't remember what he had done. He walked into the bathroom and quickly showered, he could hear Paddy pottering around downstairs, Rhona and Pearl too. He wanted to avoid him but his stomach was making noises, should he go downstairs and eat or go to the cafe? Maybe just make a quick exit, Rhona and Paddy didn't want him around after all.

His cupboard and room were full of his clothes, this too confused him. What the hell? Had he moved back in? What? Making his way downstairs he headed straight for the door only for Paddy to call out "Not so fast, come in here"

Groaning at being caught but doing as the vet asked Aaron made his way into the kitchen, cautiously just in time to see Rhona and Pearl disappear through the kitchen door. Making themselves scarce?

"What?" he asks with a shrug

"How's the head?" Paddy asks and Aaron's face scrunches up "Fine" he says "Why?"

"Have you spoken to Jackson?"

Aaron's eyes widen, was he trying to be funny "That's not funny" he states "You're sick"

Paddy's eyebrows pull together; he's confused "Aaron, he'll come around. He was just angry last night"

Aaron's eyebrows pull together, last night? What was he talking about "What are you talking about?"

"Our night out? When Jackson left you in the middle of nowhere and you came back here, I found you on the couch drowning your sorrows when me and Marlon got back"

Was he dreaming? Aaron was pretty sure he was dreaming. It's a dream right? Grabbing the paper off of the side he reads the date 7th of October 2010. He'd had dreams like this before right? Wishing Jackson hadn't had his accident.

"He'll come around, just talk to him, tell him you're sorry-" Aaron didn't hear the rest of what Paddy had to say because he quickly made his way out of Smithy. There is was. Parked just down Main Street was the van he hadn't seen in so long. He'd missed that van.

He slumped down onto the bench outside of Smithy, was this real? Was he awake? What was going on? He had a million questions running through his mind but there was one thing he had to know. Jackson. Was he alive? If this was a dream then he would just go along with it, just to see Jackson would be enough.

Xxx

Jackson was in Dale View, at least that's where the van was parked. That is exactly where he would be if this was the seventh of October. Getting to his feet he suddenly rushed towards the house, he had to see him.

Andy was just coming out of the house as he got there "Jackson in?" he breathed and Andy left the door open "Kitchen" Andy says allowing him to go in. Suddenly he was nervous. He couldn't believe it. Jackson. He was going to see him, and it was feeling less and less like a dream with each step he took. Had he been dreaming? Was the thing with Jackson being paralysed and dying a dream? It couldn't have been could it? This had to be a dream but he was awake, he was pretty sure he was awake.

"Jackson" he calls out his name and he hears a sighing as he walks towards the kitchen. "What do you want?" came the voice, Jackson's voice. Without really thinking through what he's doing and acting on emotions, emotions that were welling up inside of him at seeing the builder, seeing him alive, alive and moving overtook him and he was suddenly pulling the older man into a tight hug. Jackson was resistant and pulling away but Aaron wasn't about to let go until he was satisfied.

"Aaron... What..." Jackson struggles to push the mechanic off of him and it's only when Aaron pulls back that Jackson manages to get free "What the hell are you doing?" he demands to know "I told you last night, we're over"

Aaron wasn't listening to the words that were leaving his mouth, far from it. He was too busy staring him; reaching out his hand he touched the builder's chest "Aaron! What the hell?"

Their eyes finally locked and Jackson could see the tears brimming just beneath the surface of those blue eyes he loved so much.

"Are you drunk?" Jackson asks as Aaron says "You're alive... You can move"

"What are you-" Jackson starts to say something but stops midway, changing it before saying "Oh, I get it. You were hoping something had happened to me yeah? What did you dream it? Sorry, I'm fine"

Aaron scowls "Am I dreaming?" he asks, he's confused, his brain is all confused. What the hell? What was the dream, both felt so real.

"You're drunk, how much did you drink last night?"

"Nothing" Aaron answers quickly even although he couldn't quite remember and Paddy did say something about him drowning his sorrows on the couch when he had gotten home. Was this a result of the alcohol?

"I dreamt you were dead" Aaron says quietly

"Wished more like it" to that Aaron violently shakes his head "No!" he says "I did it, I killed you, you asked me to" the tears were running down his face now, he couldn't stop them and Jackson didn't know what to do.

"Aaron, I think you're drunk"

"I'm not drunk!" he says banging his fists against the wall before sinking to the ground. For the first few seconds Jackson can only watch. Wondering just what the hell was wrong with him, he was convinced that he'd just had too much to drink.

"I killed you" he heard him mumble "You asked me to, I didn't want to"

Kneeling down in front of him Jackson put his hands on Aaron's knees, begging him to look at him "Aaron, I'm right here. I'm not dead"

"Paralysed, you were paralysed, it was my fault"

"I'm not paralysed either" he adds "Come on, tell me what's wrong?" Jackson slides down onto his own bottom and sits in front of the mechanic. Aaron is a mess, there's no way he can go to work and there's no way Jackson could just walk away from him, doing it the night before had been hard enough.

Xxx

It took forty five minutes but after those minutes were up Jackson now knew exactly what was wrong with Jackson. He couldn't quite believe it

"Wow" he says sitting back against the back of the sofa "that was some dream"

"It wasn't a dream!" Aaron snaps quickly to which Jackson's eyebrows raise "Clearly it was cause here I am, alive and not dead"

Aaron's face scrunches up, yeah, that part confused him too "It was too real, I can feel how I felt"

"It obviously scared you Aaron but it's not real, I'm right here" with that the builder reaches out and takes Aaron's hand in his "You didn't kill me and I didn't ask you too" he says before laughing

"What?"

"Although you saying you and my mum were close is quite a funny thought. I thought you hated her"

Aaron shrugs "She's annoying at times but I don't hate her"

Aaron can't take his eyes off of the builder, his dream or whatever it was had shaken him. He was convinced when he opened his eyes just a short time ago that Jackson was dead and that he had killed him. Now, now though, he was sat in front of Jackson and he wasn't paralysed or dead but apparently they were now separated, again. The dream had shown him one thing though, apart from scaring him to death it had also showed him the depths of his feelings. He knew exactly how he felt about Jackson and how much he couldn't bear to be without him. Would the builder believe him? He didn't know but he was going to have to tell him, he couldn't risk losing him.

"Jackson..."

Jackson looks up, into those blue eyes and he loses himself, the depths of the feelings he can see, or at least that he thinks he can see floors him. Had that look been in his eyes the previous night? When they had had their heartbreaking chat on the side of the road? The chat that had caused him to get in the van and drive away? Leaving him in the middle of nowhere? He didn't think so.

"Aaron..."

"No" Aaron butts in "let me say this?"

Jackson nods

"I woke up this morning thinking you were dead and that I had killed him" Jackson opens his mouth to interrupt and Aaron says "I know, I know, it was a dream" it didn't feel like a dream "but I thought you were dead and now... Now i'm here, sitting with you. You can move, you can talk and you're alive. I know I haven't been the best boyfriend, I'm crap, I know that and if I was you I'd dump me too only I wouldn't take me back, your too good for me"

"Aaron..."

"Shut up" he says quickly, taking a deep breath "let me get this out before I bottle it"

Again Jackson nods

"I know how I feel about you, that dream or whatever you wanna call it has shown me that I don't want to be without you, I can't stand not being with you. We belong together. I want you where you belong" he was currently hating how much he sounded like a girl but he had to get Jackson back and he'd do anything he had to to do that.

"I love you Jackson" his heart was racing and Jackson was just staring at him. He hadn't moved. There had been no reaction to his declaration. He could guess what the builder was thinking. He was thinking he had only said it because it's what he wants to hear and that he didn't mean it.

"Aaron... Don't" Jackson attempts to stand up, to pull away but Aaron doesn't let him "No, listen to me. I love you"

"You didn't last night, remember?"

"That was before"

"Before what?" Jackson scoffs "Your dream in which I died? Which I was paralysed and it was your fault? It was a dream Aaron"

"Maybe" the mechanic agrees "but it showed me how I felt and how I would feel without you in my life. We belong together"

"You don't know that" Jackson points out "After all, you've nothing to compare it to, have you?"

"You said I'd know. I know. I know that you're the only one I want to be with. I've been a crap boyfriend and I don't know if I'm going to get any better but I'm going to try"

"Aaron..." Jackson didn't know what else to say. What could he say? Aaron had just told him he loved him, he should have been happy but he was too busy worrying that he hadn't meant it. That he was only saying it to get him back and to make him feel better.

"You've got to mean it" the builder finally says and Aaron's nodding his head quickly "I do, would I say it if I didn't?"

Jackson shrugs

"If that's the case I would have said it days ago. I didn't know then. I know now"

Aaron's phone begins to ring, interrupting the two of them. He pulls it out of his pocket, it's Cain and he's late for work "It's Cain"

"You better go"

"Jackson..."

"Please?" Jackson all but begs "I just need some time"

"Can I see you later?"

"After work" Jackson agrees "I'll come up to Smithy"

Aaron can't help but smile and he leans forward, intent on kissing the older man only for Jackson to pull away "I... I can't. Not right now" his emotions were still too raw, especially the ones from the previous night. That chat they had on the side of the road almost killed him and now Aaron had declared his undying love. It was a lot to take in.

"Ok" Aaron says quietly before slipping out of Dale View leaving Jackson alone with his thoughts.

Xxx

It was around forty five minutes later before Jackson finally pulled himself up off of the floor. He couldn't believe it. When Aaron had appeared in Dale View that morning he had been sure he was drunk. Sprouting nonsense about him being paralysed and dead but then he'd explained that. It had been a dream but Jackson was now wishing that's all it had been. The declaration of love had come out of nowhere. He was rarely speechless and Aaron had left him unable to utter a single word about the declaration. There was only one thing to do; he had to talk to his Mother. She wouldn't be that much help but at least she would listen to him. She's more than likely be at Smithy but he didn't want to go there. He didn't want to step outside of the house. The garage was straight across from him and Aaron was more than likely watching the door like a hawk he couldn't speak to him right now, so he called her and asked her to come down.

"He said what?" Hazel says, her eyes widening at her son's words. She couldn't believe it. "But I thought..."

"He had some dream where I was dead, says it made him figure it out"

"And you don't believe him?" Hazel asks, able to read her son like a book. If someone were to ask her if she thought Aaron loved her son she was sure she'd stumble on the question, she wasn't sure, she'd have to think about it.

"I don't know. How could a dream make him realise that?"

"That's what dreams are"

"I died in the dream, he killed me. Said he hated it and missed me like mad"

"He's scared of losing you and clearly a dream like that would make you think"

"Do you think he loves me?"

Hazel shrugs, she wasn't about to answer that. She didn't want to interfere and have Jackson blaming her for whatever did or didn't happen between him and his on/off boyfriend. She liked Aaron, really she did but sometimes he was a handful.

"You knew what you were taking on all those months ago, you could have walked away but you didn't. Why?"

"I already loved him" Jackson admits "I was in deep and I couldn't get out"

"And now?"

Jackson scoffs, looks away and says "I'm still crazy about him" his Mother didn't know about their little 'chat' last night. He had planned on telling her but what with Aaron's declaration he didn't see the point.

"Do you think he meant it?"

Jackson nods "Aaron doesn't say things he doesn't mean. It's not him"

"Well then, the boy loves you. Be happy"

He wants to be happy, really he does but Aaron always has a knack of doing something that screws up their whole relationship.

"What if he does something stupid again? Something like this car again? I don't want to go through that"

"You'll just have to figure out if he's worth it" Hazel gets to her feet and squeezes his shoulder gently before silently leaving him alone. She knows her son, he needs time to process everything but she knew, just like he knew, what his end result would be.

Xxx

Aaron had been home for over an hour, he'd showered, had something to eat and now he was pacing. He was pacing the floor of his bedroom; he had run up and down the stairs countless times. He was doing everything he could possibly think of to avoid looking at his phone. He wanted to call Jackson, ask where he was but he knew he shouldn't. He had to wait. Jackson had to figure this out on his own.

Every time he stepped foot downstairs Hazel seemed to be there and she kept looking at him, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary but she had this look about her like she knew something he didn't. It was annoying.

It was almost eight o'clock before Jackson finally turned up; Aaron was in his room, listening to music and hadn't heard the door. He had however been clutching his mobile, waiting for a call or text. The bedroom door being pushed open was what finally alerted him to the presence of the builder. He quickly sat up.

"Hi" he says swinging his legs off of the bed and sitting properly. Jackson closes the door and rests back against it, staring at him. Aaron is pretty sure things aren't going to go his way, Jackson doesn't look happy.

"I've spent all day thinking about what you said" he starts to talk and Aaron can only sit and listen "that must have been some dream you had"

Aaron nods

"You didn't know if you loved me last night but less than 24 hours later you know"

Again Aaron nods

"I was thinking about us splitting up" all colour drains from Aaron's face which doesn't go unnoticed by the builder "imagining what it would be like to watch you with someone else"

"I couldn't do it" Aaron says quietly "I couldn't watch you with someone else. I'd kill him"

It's Jackson's turn to nod "Yeah, I thought you'd react something like that... and it turns out even just the thought of it makes me feel sick... So"

"So?" Aaron repeats waiting on him continuing "So I've decided I don't want that to happen. You might be an idiot but... your my idiot" by the time he's finished talking he's grinning, a grin which is mirrored on Aaron's face.

"Really?" the mechanic asks, getting to his feet and closing the distance between the two of them.

"Yeah"

Quickly, before anything else can be said or even thought about Aaron has closed the distance and is kissing him, making up for the kiss he was denied earlier on that day. After a few minutes they pull apart, both smiling "So love me huh?"

Blushing Aaron nods

"I am quite the catch"

"If you do say so yourself" Aaron laughs "I like you"

"I like you too" Jackson says, kissing him quickly once more "this is our last chance Aaron, you know that right? No matter how much we love each other if this screws up; I don't know how we'll fix it"

"We'll always fix it" Aaron assures him "Plus, nothing's going to go wrong. Promise"

"Ok" Jackson says shrugging off of his jacket and pushing Aaron back towards the bed, locking the bedroom door at the same time "we have some making up to do"

Two hours later and after some much needed making up Aaron was sat up against the headboard of the bed whilst Jackson propped himself up on his hand, whilst his other hand ran up and down Aaron's stomach.

"We could make last orders at the Woolpack" the builder suggests but Aaron groans "don't want to move" he tells his boyfriend.

"Well what? We stay here all night?"

Aaron nods, he quite likes that idea "Why not?"

Jackson can't think of a reason for them not to stay in bed but then his stomach reminds him "I'm starving"

"You're always starving" Aaron points out but he slips out of bed and pulls on his boxers and jogging bottoms, throwing Jackson's jeans and boxers at him "let's go get you something to eat. You're mum probably cooked something earlier"

Xxx

They were both sat at the table, topless and tucking into the food left over from Hazel's cooking when the door opened. In walked Hazel and Paddy.

"What's going on?" Paddy asks and Aaron rolls his eyes, sometimes the vet could be quite dense "we're eating, what's it look like?"

"You back together?"

"Good to see you're taking advantage of the leftovers"

"We were starving" Jackson tells her before his gaze settles on Paddy "Yeah, we're back together" he tells the older man with a smile "Oh great!" Paddy exclaims with genuine happiness "does that mean you're moving back in? This one!" he says slapping his hands down onto Aaron's shoulders "has been a right grump since you left"

"No I haven't" the teenager says shrugging off the older man's hands and looking at his boyfriend. He wanted him to move back in, desperately but they hadn't really spoken about it so he was as eager to hear his answer as Paddy was.

"Um...Uh..." Jackson stutters feeling like a deer caught in the headlights "Not sure yet, we'll have to talk about it"

Paddy nods and Hazel, sensing the atmosphere that had quickly developed between the two younger men said "Why don't we go through to the living room, eh?" to Paddy and pushed him, Paddy quickly caught on and didn't argue.

With them out of the room Aaron pushed his plate to the middle of the table "You don't know?" he asks, glaring at the builder "What don't you know?"

"Aaron..."

"No!" Aaron cuts him off "I love you, you love me. I want you to move back in"

Jackson rolls his eyes "Do you not think we moved in together too quick?"

Aaron quickly shakes his head "Maybe then" he admits "but not now, now I want you here. Come on, this place has me and it's cheaper than Dale View"

Jackson pulls a face. If he's honest with himself he wants to come home, Smithy, or rather wherever Aaron was is home to him but he doesn't really want to leave Andy in the lurch. With Ryan in prison still he was left to pay the rent all by himself.

"What about Andy?"

Aaron pulls a face "Andy's a woman beater" the mechanic points out "Screw Andy"

"Not my type" Jackson mutters with a smirk, causing Aaron's eyes to narrow "good to hear it" he says "didn't think he was anyway"

"Is he yours?" Jackson asks and Aaron rolls his eyes "Oh yeah" he nods "cause you and Andy look so much alike"

"He might be..." Jackson is cut off by Aaron standing and pulling him up out of the chair "Shut up" the mechanic demands as he pushes him up the stairs "You're moving back in and you talk much more about Andy I'm not going to be in the mood for anything but sleep"

"Who says I want anything other than sleep?" Jackson wonders but he doesn't get a verbal response because Aaron shoves him roughly into the room and onto the bed before climbing on top of him and showing him that he really didn't want sleep for a good long time that night.

Xxx

He wasn't sure what time it was when he woke up and he really didn't care. He knew what it was that had woken him though. His dream. He wasn't convinced it was a dream but it had to be right? It's not like somebody granted his wish and took him back to October. Either way he had Jackson, he was alive, he wasn't paralysed and he loved him. He wasn't going to screw this up. He had felt what it was like, even in dream world, what it would be like without the older man. He didn't like it and he didn't want it. It wouldn't be happening anytime soon, not if he could help it anyway.

Xxx

REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS MOST WELCOME :)


	21. Chocolate

**Chocolate**

_Disclaimer - Nope. They're not mine. _

* * *

><p>When Jackson finally pushes open the door to the Woolpack it's already gone eight. He should have gone home really; after all he was cold, wet and above all starving. He'd been working like a maniac trying to get the job finished for Declan as quick as he possibly could but at just after seven he'd had to give and throw his tools down. It was time to go home. He had fully intended to go home, shower, curl up on the couch or bed with Aaron and beg his Mother to make him something to eat but before getting in the van to make the short trip from Home Farm to the village he'd text Aaron only to receive a texts minutes later saying that he would be home closer to ten, he was helping Adam. Getting the text message is exactly what lead him to the Woolpack instead of home, he didn't want to go home without Aaron, he'd just hope that Marlon was still around and willing to make him something to eat.<p>

As luck would have it Marlon was still taking orders and he'd managed to order himself his first hot meal of the day and he was damn sure he was going to enjoy it along with a pint. It was the closest heaven he had ever been, he was sure of it. Forty five minutes later he had finished his meal and was on his second pint of the night, looking forward to his lie in the next again day and knowing Aaron wasn't working made it all the better, he was really looking forward to that. When neither of them were working at the weekends they would sleep until around eleven or until one of them woke and wake the other before spending some 'quality' time in bed for a few hours before dragging themselves to the Woolpack. It was simple and that's what Jackson loved most about it. The simple things in life are what he enjoyed more than anything, especially when they involved the teenager who he was deeply in love with.

What Jackson didn't realise was that his mobile had been left in the van, a fact he didn't realise until his eyes landed on his boyfriend walking through the doors of the Woolpack and him calling out "Where was my invite"

At his voice Aaron had turned and frowned "I called you about twenty times"

"No you didn't" Jackson said, rooting in his pockets for his phone, his eyes widened quickly though and he grinned sheepishly "the phone must be in the van"

Aaron pulled a face at that and said "See, I thought you were asleep" Jackson shrugs and says "Get me another pint eh?"

Aaron had done as he asked and gotten him another pint before joining him at the table with Adam. Adam had commented on how knackered he looked to which the builder laughed and said "tell me about it" Adam had shook his head and said something like 'Tell Declan that you're not going to finish in time" to that Jackson had merely shrugged and said "I always finish on time"

After twenty minutes Adam disappeared, turned out that he was only waiting on his Mother finishing which left Jackson and Aaron alone, Jackson leaning heavily on Aaron, he was keeping him upright and awake.

"Wanna go back to Smithy?"

"No" Jackson says with a shake of his head "Get another round in" Aaron extends his hand out and Jackson looks at it, with one eyebrow raised he asks "what's that for?"

"Your wallet" Aaron says as if it was obvious and Jackson pulls a face, trying to appear offended and annoyed, it doesn't work "I'm tired and over worked, shouldn't you be buying the beer?"

"I want to go home, you wanted to stay here so you buy" it was Aaron's logic and Aaron's logic was never right but Jackson didn't have the strength to argue and two seconds later he was handing over his wallet "no dipping me mind"

"Yeah yeah" Aaron threw over his shoulder as he slipped out of the booth and headed to the bar. The pub would be closing soon, Jackson knew this but he wasn't sure his feet would carry him home. He really was exhausted; he was hoping that Aaron wasn't expecting anything remotely physical once they got home because it wouldn't be happening.

A further fifteen minutes they spent in pub before Aaron eventually decided that they would be leaving and heading back to Smithy Jackson looked too knackered to hang around the pub a minute longer.

Xxx

Having to practically carry the builder back to the house meant that Aaron deposited him onto the couch as soon as he walked through the front doors and to his surprise no one was in. He threw Jackson down onto the couch, switched the TV on then made his way into the kitchen to make coffee, not for himself, for Jackson, for himself he helped himself to the last remaining chocolate in the fridge. It was Jackson's but it wasn't like Jackson would care, he was too tired and he was, after all, his boyfriend.

Five minutes later he walked back into the living room carrying coffee and his chocolate. Jackson had made himself comfortable by kicking off his work boots and slouching back. Aaron sat beside him, shoving the mug of coffee into his hands and not letting go until he was sure he had it securely. It took a couple of seconds but Jackson was finally clutching the mug and taking small sips. They sat in comfortable silence, side by side as Aaron flicked through the channels. They really should have gone up to bed but Aaron didn't want to carry him, so he was trying to wake him up a little first.

"What are you eating?" Jackson asks after he realises that Aaron is stuffing his face with something "Chocolate" Aaron says, pulling a face "why?"

"My chocolate?" maybe it was the lack of sleep making him so possessive over confectionery, he wasn't sure but there he was "It was the last one" he complained.

"You can get more tomorrow" Aaron tells him with a roll of the eyes "Give me what you have left"

Aaron laughs out loud and says "No" before popping the last remaining piece of chocolate into his mouth and smirking at his boyfriend. Jackson's eyes narrow and before Aaron knows what's going on he's pinned to the couch with Jackson hovering over him, a smirk on his face "That's mine and I want it back" he says, making his point clear before swooping down and capturing the mechanic's lips in a fierce and demanding kiss. Jackson's tongue found its way into Aaron's mouth and before he knew it Aaron realised that the piece of chocolate he had been intent on swallowing was no longer in his mouth. Jackson had stolen it! He couldn't care though because the kiss they were sharing was really quite intense and passionate and the way Jackson was pressing against him, who was he to complain? He wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

He wasn't sure how long they had been kissing for and he was pretty sure they would have continued their little embrace if they hadn't heard someone clearing their throat. Reluctantly Jackson pulled away and glanced over Aaron's head to the door, there stood Paddy, an amused expression on his face. Aaron pushed Jackson off and turned himself "alright Paddy" he said, a blush creeping over his cheeks. Paddy just shook his head and smiled "Looked like I had to stop you, you weren't coming up for air"

Aaron scowled, it wasn't the first time Paddy had caught him and Jackson making out but it didn't make it any less embarrassing. Grabbing Jackson's arm Aaron pulled him up "Right, well, we're going to bed"

"Night" said Paddy

"Night" Jackson said back as he followed Aaron up the stairs. Once on the stairs he pressed himself along the length of Aaron's back, kissing the base of his neck and whispering "I'm not so tired anymore"

Aaron grinned.

* * *

><p>AN - REVIEW IF YOU WISH. If you do though, I might be nice and post the next one. It's already written you see.


	22. Audience

**Audience**

_Disclaimer - Nope, still don't belong to me. If they did pretty sure I would have sent Aaron into space never to return, that or Danny Miller. _

_A/N - Most of these stories were written ages ago, I've been putting off uploading them until I had finished them completely as I've been stuck on number 27 for a while now but I'm hoping posting will inspire me to finish. Here's hoping. _

* * *

><p>It had been three weeks since Aaron had gathered up the courage to end things with Flynn and start dating Jackson. Three short weeks and in those three weeks Aaron had realised, quickly, that he liked Jackson, a lot. Their relationship had quickly progressed and five days after their first day, their fifth date, they ended up in bed together and it was the best feeling Aaron had ever had, ever since Jackson had barely gone back to his own apartment but on the odd occasion he had gone back, Aaron went with him.<p>

It was Thursday morning and Aaron wasn't working, nor was Jackson which they could enjoy the fact that both of them were able to sleep in. It was a rare occurrence, especially for Jackson who sometimes had to work the weekend and he was going to take full advantage of it, which is why at eleven o'clock that very morning both of them failed to hear the front door bell ringing.

Flynn had realised one week after they had split up that he had left his IPod at Aaron's. Aaron had packed up most of the stuff that was at his but he had forgotten the IPod. He hadn't planned on going back for it, he kept hoping Aaron would realise and drop it off but he was going away and he needed it to listen to on his journey, and there was only one option. He'd have to go to the village and get it himself. He wanted to avoid Aaron though; it would be awkward so he has chosen a time when he suspected the mechanic would be at work. Paddy would be the only one home and he could avoid any awkwardness with his ex. That is why at eleven o'clock on the Thursday before he left for his holiday he found himself ringing the door bell of Smithy cottage.

It took a few seconds before the door was opened and it was Rhona, smiling Flynn said "Hey, I uh...left my IPod? Is alright if I go upstairs to check it?"

"I uh...I...Uh..." Rhona stuttered unsure of whether or not Aaron was still in, Jackson was clearly still in the village, his van was parked just over the road but before she could say anything Flynn was inside the house saying "I didn't want to bump into Aaron, I'll just pop up and find it and be gone. He doesn't even have to know I was here" he's already climbing the stairs and Rhona can do nothing to stop him, she is however, preparing herself for what's to come next. Aaron yelling, blaming her, Flynn storming out because she was pretty sure Aaron and Jackson were still in bed. She really liked Jackson, he was too good for Aaron but clearly Jackson didn't think so, she liked him much more than Flynn anyway.

Without missing a beat Flynn pushes the bedroom door open and walks in, only to stop dead in his tracks mere seconds later when his eyes rest on the bed. There, in the bed was Aaron wrapped around some other guy whose face Flynn couldn't see.

Out of the two of them Jackson was the lightest sleep which is why when he heard the bedroom door being pushed open he was stirred from his sleep. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he turned around to see who it was, he knew it wasn't Aaron, he could still feel him in bed beside him. Never in a million years did he expect to see who he saw standing, wide eyed at the bedroom door staring at him. Flynn. Aaron's ex.

The guy in bed with Aaron turned around and Flynn couldn't believe his eyes. It was the guy from Bar West all those weeks ago. He had sworn to him that there hadn't been someone else; clearly he had lied to him. Flynn didn't know what to do, he was too shocked.

Upon spotting Flynn Jackson quickly elbowed his boyfriend in the side, trying to wake him, it took a couple of times before Jackson finally managed it and he heard Aaron complain "Why are you wakening me up?" he asks and only to be rewarded with another jab in the ribs this time, he opens his eyes and peers over Jackson's very tense body.

His eyes widen and he can't believe his eyes, before he can stop it "Flynn" rolls off tongue and he hates how high pitched it sounds.

Flynn licks his lips and blinks a couple of times, trying to find the words but unable to take his eyes off him the two of them. Jackson feels extremely awkward; he couldn't recall ever being in this position before. He wanted out, he needed to get out because clearly Aaron and Flynn had to talk. As he looked around for his clothing Flynn spoke.

"I uh... You've got my IPod"

"I...Uh... Flynn" Jackson could hear his boyfriend stutter, he felt bad for him, really he did but he had to get out of there. Unfortunately for him though he was naked and his clothes were all over the room, he didn't want to have to get up naked. Deciding there was nothing else to do as quickly and efficiently as he possibly could he slipped out of the bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist as he did so. Aaron tried to stop, tried to hold him back but he managed to break free. Now all he had to do was pass Flynn who was still effectively blocking the door.

"Uh...excuse me" he says politely, making eye contact with the younger man as he slipped past him, cluthching the sheet to his waist. Once past he threw a look at his boyfriend who was still in shock in bed. He had to get up and deal with it, there was nothing else to it. Jackson let himself into the bathroom and wondered just how long he would have to stay there for. Aaron wasn't good in a crisis; in three weeks he had learnt that and the time it had taken him to dump Flynn in the first place.

Xxx

Watching Aaron saw Jackson enter the bathroom and his eyes met Flynn's "You could have called" he tells his ex, scanning the floor for his boxers, tracksuit bottoms or basically anything he could pull on.

Flynn, having finally found his voice now that Jackson was no longer in the room said "I thought you'd be at work, didn't think I'd bump into you did I?" he stepped into the room and scooped down "Looking for these?" he asks having picked up a pair of boxers and throws them at him. Aaron catches them and frowns as Flynn adds "Not like I haven't seen it all before anyway"

Slipping his boxers on Aaron stands from the bed "Yeah, well, we're not together anymore. You don't get to see" he starts rooting around in a drawer, he can't find the IPod "do you know where this IPod is?" he snaps and Flynn nods before moving to retrieve it from another drawer.

"You can go now" Aaron says. He doesn't want to be horrible but this situation is beyond awkward and then there's the fact he has no idea what Jackson's going to say once Flynn has gone. He just doesn't want to argue with the builder, it had been going so well up until Flynn.

"You said there was no one else" Flynn says, unable not to say anything. Aaron had lied; he at least wanted the mechanic to admit it.

"Flynn..."

"Don't" Flynn says "Don't lie to me again" he pleads "was he the reason you left me?"

Unable to meet his gaze Aaron nods and looks at the floor. He hears Flynn scoff and he looks back up "You could have told me"

"I didn't want to hurt you" Aaron says "I never expected this"

Flynn nods, takes a deep breath and his head rolls backwards, when he faces the mechanic once more he says "Are you happy?" the smile on Aaron's face at the question answers his question before the mechanic does "Yeah, I am"

"That's all that matters" Flynn tells him "I've got what I came for, I'll be going. Take care"

"You don't hate me?" Aaron asks and Flynn shrugs "I will later, right now I'm still in shock" with that he walks out of the bedroom and Aaron listens as he descends the stairs, he knows that once Jackson hears the front door close he'll come out of the bathroom.

Sure enough as soon as the front door closes the bedroom door opens and Jackson pads across the landing to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. For the longest of moments they stare at each other. Aaron desperately wanting the builder to say something and finally he does.

"Well, that was awkward"

"You're telling me" Aaron says with a small, nervous laugh and he crosses the gap between the two of them "was he mad?" Jackson asks

"No" Aaron answers "Not then anyway, he said as long as I was happy then that's all that matters"

"And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Happy?" Jackson says

"Course I am" Aaron says rolling his eyes "Are we alright?"

Jackson pulls a face at that question, why wouldn't they be alright? "Yeah, unless you're dumping me for Flynn?"

Aaron pulls a face and his hand sneaks out pulling Jackson forward by the sheet wrapped around his hips "Don't be stupid" the mechanic says as their lips meet and they quickly tumble back onto the bed.

Xxx

At seven thirty Aaron was sat at a table in Bar West waiting on Jackson coming back from the bar. After Flynn had appeared on the scene they spent the next few hours trying to forget about him by getting lost in each other and at four pm they got up from bed, showered, had something to eat then headed out because Jackson was meeting one of his friends, he had asked if Aaron wanted to tag along.

"Where are these mates then?" Aaron asks when Jackson returns to the table, two pints in hand "are they invisible?"

"Haha" Jackson retorts, sliding into the seat next to Aaron "we're early, they'll be here later"

"Ah" Aaron says nodding his head and grinning "wanted me all to yourself first did you? Scared one of them will hit on me?" in the three weeks they had been together they hadn't really socialised outside of the village all that much, they'd mostly socialised with Adam, Jackson's friends hadn't really got a look in. Aaron knew he had to give them all a chance, he couldn't ask Jackson to keep both parts of his life separate.

"Nah" Jackson answers with a smirk "they've all got taste" Aaron glares him at, his eyes narrowing but he knows he's joking. Leaning over the pints on the table, closer towards his boyfriend Aaron smiles and says "clearly I haven't" then pulls back. Jackson is more than disappointed, he was expecting a kiss "dick" he says affectionately and Aaron merely grins.

A couple of hours later and Aaron is returning from the toilets, Jackson is at the bar with his best friend from school, Amy. She had turned up not long before he nipped to the toilets; they'd only had time to get introduced. Instead of heading back to the table once out of the toilets though he headed towards the bar to see his boyfriend and get to know his friend, she seemed quite alright. As he neared them, hidden by strangers, he could hear her talking to Jackson, could hear every word she was saying.

"...you're really into this one, huh?" she asked and Aaron froze on the spot. Should he listen to this conversation? What if he didn't like what he heard? His head was telling him to move but his feet weren't getting the message because they weren't going anywhere.

"What are you talking about?" Jackson asks his friend as they wait to be served. Amy rolls her eyes "how long have we known each other?"

"A while" Jackson answers with a shrug and Amy grins "Yeah, a while. I was the first girl you ever..."

"Yeah we know that" Jackson says cutting her off quickly "so what?"

"So... ever since you and him hooked up you've been off the grid"

"New relationship"

"Bullocks" Amy answers with a roll of her eyes "You can't keep your eyes off him"

"He's not that bad looking" Jackson points out

"I get that" Amy says "but it's more than that. You have that look, but it's more, there's something there I've never seen in you before... are you?"

Jackson groans and his head falls forward onto the bar just as the barman appears, Amy is left to give him the order and once she has Jackson composes himself, lifts his head and says "It looks like it"

Aaron had been listening to all of their conversation. He wasn't sure what was being talked about. What did it look like? He didn't have to wonder too long however because Amy was quick to say "You're in love with him?" Aaron jaw literally hit the floor at those words. Jackson was in love with him? How? When? Jackson was quick to answer her.

"No...Yes... No" he says taking a deep breath "Not yet but it's going there. I like him a lot"

"And does he feel the same?"

Before Jackson can answer that Aaron pushes his way through the crowd in front of him. He doesn't want to hear what Jackson thinks he feels because he's not really sure himself, he already knows how Jackson feels when he shouldn't. He'll have to keep it to himself until Jackson is ready to tell him.

"Cheating on me?" he asks as he slips in-between Jackson and the guy stood at his side. Jackson grins and turns to him and as he does Aaron kisses him, completely surprising the builder but when he pulls back he can see by the smile on Jackson's face that it's a happy surprise.

"Yeah" Amy says throwing her arms around Jackson's shoulders "You'll have to find yourself a new boyfriend"

Aaron laughs at her "You can have him" he says "I was getting bored anyway"

Amy nods her head quickly and grins "he is kinda boring"

"Talking about me like I'm not here why don't you"

"We will" Amy says as she grabs one of the trays placed down in front of her by the bartender. Jackson takes the other and Aaron follows them back to the table.

Half an hour after they get back to the table Jackson has slipped off and it's only him and Amy. She's staring at him "Fancy me or something?" he asks taking a drink of his beer. She grins and says "just trying to figure out what he sees in you"

"Why don't you ask him?" Aaron suggests "I'm sure he'll tell you. He's good at that kind of stuff"

"Are you?"

Aaron scowls at her and she laughs "Guess not. You like Jackson though right?"

"Yeah"

"You're a big talker" Amy laughs and Aaron shrugs "don't hurt him" she warns him "you hurt him I'll chop your balls off, alright?" Aaron almost spits his beer everywhere but he grins despite himself "Alright"

Amy grins "Glad we know where we stand"

The night wore on and more than one drink was consumed by the two of them. Aaron was enjoying himself. Jackson's mates were good fun, all of them, even the camp ones when they weren't being overly camp. The bar was almost closing and they were playing one last song. He was drunk, he had drunk at last count 9 bottles of beer, two shots and a vodka which is probably why when the last slow song of the night was played, he pulled a very willing Jackson onto the dance floor.

That night they didn't make it back to Emmerdale and instead of going there they found themselves walking the fifteen minute walk back to Jackson's apartment, Amy in tow as she was too drunk to get herself home. She would be taking the couch; no way was Aaron giving up the bed for her. He wanted Jackson, desperately.

Xxx

At seven am the next morning Jackson's alarm clock blasted the radio in the room, wakening them both or at least attempting to. Jackson had a tendency to set his alarm half an hour earlier than was needed as he struggled to get out of bed in the morning just like Aaron struggled to actually open his eyes.

"It can't be morning yet" Aaron complains, hiding his face into the pillow. Jackson is feeling just the same and lets out a small laugh "looks like it"

"Thank god we left the van here last night; I really don't feel like getting the bus all the way to the village"

"That's cause you're boyfriend here has great ideas" Jackson points out dropping a kiss onto Aaron's shoulder "come on" he adds pushing Aaron "We need to get up before we fall back asleep" Jackson knew that was likely because they had done it before but luckily then they had a short distance to get to work, today they had a few miles they had to drive first.

Aaron moaned something about not getting up only to have Jackson pull the duvet from him. He was naked and it was cold, he quickly tried to grab it but it was useless, Jackson was quicker. He was standing at the bottom of the bed smirking "Shower, breakfast then work"

"Then bed" Aaron says swinging his legs around and sitting on the edge of the bed, suddenly he smirks, looks at Jackson and says "Shower together? It'll save time"

Jackson looks less than convinced that it will save them time but he doesn't say anything, just throws Aaron his boxers and says "hurry up" before the two of them make a mad dash towards the bathroom.

They had been in the shower for five minutes and they were just beginning to enjoy themselves when the door swung open and in walked a very rough looking Amy. Aaron's eyes widened and Jackson exclaimed "What the hell?" she stopped immediately and looked up, wakening up "Oh!"

"Yeah, oh!" Jackson repeats "turn around now" but she wasn't turning around, she was eyeing up Aaron "Nice view"

Aaron scowls and nudges Jackson "Amy! Please, get out"

"Alright, alright" she says turning her back on the couple and backing out of the bathroom "spoilsports" she closes the door and Aaron is no longer in the mood "I thought you locked that"

"You were last in" Jackson reminds him "You should have locked it"

"Whatever" Aaron shrugs, attempting to get out of the shower only to be stopped by Jackson "Hey" Jackson says pulling him back "We're not done yet" and before the mechanic can protest Jackson's lips are on his and he's being pressed against the glass of the shower stall.

Forty five minutes later and they were dropping off Amy at her house "See you later guys" she says with a smile whilst rubbing Aaron's thigh with a smirk before jumping out of the van.

"She fancies me" Aaron states as Jackson pulls away and laughs to him "Yeah Aaron, she fancies you" he rolls his eyes

"She does!" Aaron insists "Did you see her rubbing my leg? And eyeing me up?"

"She was winding you up Aaron" he tells him "It's what she does"

"We'll see when she comes onto me"

"I think she knows she's not your type"

Aaron isn't convinced by that "Clearly she thinks she can turn me"

Jackson just shakes his head, sometimes Aaron can come out with the craziest of ideas but they were highly amusing.

Xxx

They were fifteen minutes early for work so they sat outside in the van chatting, chatting about their plans for the lunch and their plans for lunch "See you in the Woolpack?" Jackson asks and Aaron nods "You bet, you can buy me lunch" he says before slipping out the van and heading towards the garage. It was Friday which meant they didn't have work for the next two days so they could basically get as drunk as they wanted even although neither of them felt like drinking so soon after getting so wasted the previous night.

Xxx

In the end they didn't go to the Woolpack, they were tired and Paddy was out which meant they had a free house. They spent that Friday night sat curled up on the sofa with a Chinese takeaway, a DVD and a couple of cans. To Jackson and Aaron it was a pretty perfect night; they were together, comfortable and happy there was nothing more either of them needed than each other. Before nine o'clock that night they had moved from the living room into the bedroom and ended their night there.

Xxx

REVIEW AND I POST THE NEXT ONE.


	23. Shame

**Shame**

_Disclaimer - I do not own Emmerdale nor do I claim to. _

_A/N - I don't like this story but I really couldn't be bothered to change it. _

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><p>They had met at the age of twenty three. Well, Jackson had been twenty three Aaron had been twenty. There was a three year age gap between the two of them, now though Jackson was thirty and Aaron was twenty seven. Not long after they met they had gone into business together, Aaron wanting a change from being a mechanic and Jackson wanting to expand his building business. They not run a multi-million pound company which dabbled in all different kinds of business but it was mostly mechanical and building business, they liked to keep to what they knew.<p>

Jackson had been off in America for the past almost a month though which meant he hadn't seen Aaron in just as long and he missed him. Not only were they business partners but they were also partners in the romantic sense and he was missing him terribly. He had been in America scouting for new businesses, Aaron had been meant to accompany him but he had to stay behind to deal with things in the UK. Getting home to him was his top priority.

It was late when he got home, he had expected Aaron to still be awake, waiting on him but walking up into their bedroom he found him fast asleep on their bed. He couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips at the sight of him and he was just glad that it was Friday which meant, bar any emergency, they had the whole weekend to spend together. He couldn't wait. He needed a shower but he also needed his bed just as much and in the end the bed won out. Shrugging off all clothes bar his boxers Jackson climbed into the bed and wrapped himself around his lover, hearing his lover moan as their skin touched, aware even in sleep of his presence Jackson quickly fell asleep.

Xxx

When Aaron woke up the next morning he was a little confused. He could feel a weight against his back but last he remembered her had been lying in bed watching TV and waiting on Jackson coming home. He was determined to stay awake for him, he'd missed him terrible but a quick look outside the window told him it was daylight and suddenly he was worrying. Why was Jackson not back yet? That was until he turned around, coming face to face with a sleeping Jackson. He couldn't help but smile. He was home, he was glad but he was also a little annoyed that he hadn't woke him up when he had gotten home. He had to rectify Jackson's mistake. He had to wake Jackson and kiss him how he wanted to kiss him the previous night.

Rolling over onto his side he propped himself up so he could look at his other half. They had been together for seven years and sometimes it amazed him that they had lasted as long as that. Not because they didn't love each other because they did but because they were just so different that they tended to argue about almost everything but it worked. They worked and they were happy. The past four weeks without him had been torture, he was making a new rule that Jackson wasn't allowed to go anywhere without him ever again.

Leaning forward he gently ran his finger down Jackson's chest and stomach whilst blowing gently at his ear and neck. It was a technique he had used previously to wake his sleeping lover and it worked, within a few seconds Jackson was opening his eyes and smiling sleepily at him.

"Hey"

"Hey" Aaron answered with a smile that mimicked Jackson's "You should have woken me up last night" he says frowning.

"You were asleep" Jackson points out "and I was extremely tired"

"Are you still extremely tired?"

Wrapping his arms around the younger man's neck and pulling him over so his body covered his own Jackson says "I'm sure you can wake me up"

"I'm sure I can" Aaron agrees before kissing him deeply, intent on making up for lost time.

Xxx

Monday morning came around all too quickly for the two of them, they spent the weekend in bed, only leaving to shower together, eat and go to the bathroom but Monday came and they had to get back to reality.

"Whose car are we taking?" Aaron asks as they walk into their garage. Jackson had a mature, sensible car whereas Aaron? Well, Aaron had a very fast, sleek sports car. Stopping by his BMW X5 Jackson pondered the question for a few minutes before finally saying to an ecstatic Aaron "Let's take yours" Aaron's car was a black Ferrari and he loved it.

"I knew there was a reason I loved you" Aaron says with a grin as he rounds towards his own car and opens it "Get in then" Jackson stalls saying "maybe I should take my own one?"

Aaron rolls his eyes and says "get in" and Jackson does as asked, quickly pulling on his seatbelt as Aaron pulls out of the garage as quick as he possibly can. Their office isn't that far away from their home and less than ten minutes later they pull into the car park. Jackson shaking his head "What?" Aaron demands.

"You, your driving has gotten worse in four weeks"

"Pfft" Aaron replies upon climbing out of the car "I had to do something to entertain me whilst you were away"

Once inside the building they separated both had their own things to do, own people to see "See you at lunch?" Aaron asks guessing that it would be the next time he set eyes on his other half "You buying?"

Aaron pulls a face but nods anyway "I guess" then with a grin he adds "I get to pick where we go too"

"Is that just so you can drive us somewhere and give me a heart attack?"

"Could be" Aaron admits before dropping a quick kiss onto Jackson's lips and walking in the opposite directions. Their offices, their own office were on opposite sides of the building as they both dealt with different aspects of the business and it stopped then wasting their day with each other which in the early days, when they shared an office, had been exactly what they would do, they rarely got any work done in those days.

Xxx

At half past ten Jackson was at a loose end. He didn't have a meeting until half eleven so he found himself wondering towards Aaron's office. He missed him and it wouldn't hurt to see him for a little while, he just hoped he was free.

He was standing by the desk of Aaron's receptionist, waiting. He could always just walk in, after all he did own half of the company but Aaron could be in a meeting, he would wait and hear from Rebecca as to whether or not he was free.

"Hey Jackson" she smiles "How was America?"

"Good" he nods "How are you?"

"I'm good"

"Aaron been working you hard?"

Rebecca laughs and shakes her head "No, not really"

"Is he free?" just as he asked that a twenty something brown haired guy walked past and casually strode into Aaron's office. Jackson pulls a face and looks at Rebecca "Who's that?"

"Oh" she grins "That's Dylan"

"Who's he?" Jackson had never seen him before and why the hell was he just walking into Aaron's office?

"Aaron's new PA" Rebecca says "Didn't he tell yo-" the words die on her lips as he looks up at Jackson. No, he clearly didn't know about Dylan "I'll see you later" Jackson says as he walks towards the office door and walks inside.

"Who are you?" the PA asks, looking Jackson up and down. Jackson laughs and looks at his other half, whose eyes have widened and he's standing making his way around the desk towards Jackson and the other guy.

"Uh...this is Jackson" he says directing his comment to Dylan "Jackson" he smiles thinly at his boyfriend, he can read Jackson and he knows he's getting a mouth full once they are alone "this is my new PA"

"So I've heard"

"Oh" Dylan says stepping forward "I'm so sorry" he extends his hand for Jackson to shake, which he does "it's nice to meet you"

"You too" Jackson says his eyes never once leaving those of Aaron. Two seconds later Aaron is clearing his throat and saying "Dylan could you give us a minute please?"

"Sure, right away" he says quickly making his exit leaving the two of them alone. They stood, for the longest time, staring at each other both waiting on the other making the first move.

"I know what you're thinking" Aaron says breaking the silence and Jackson scoffs "I seriously doubt that"

"I just forgot to tell you"

"You don't need a PA Aaron"

"Yes I do" he argues and Jackson retorts "What's wrong with Rebecca?"

"Dylan does the things Rebecca can't do"

"I bet" Jackson says, rolling his eyes and walking towards the window to look out over the city. Aaron's eyebrows pull together, was Jackson jealous? Why was he jealous? He had no reason to be, he followed him.

"Keep you company whilst I was away did he?" he asks without looking back at him "How long was I gone before you hired him because before I left you didn't mention anything about hiring a PA"

Aaron stops behind him and they lock eyes in the reflection of the glass "What are you trying to say?" he asks "You think I..."

"Did you?"

Aaron's face hardens and he steps away, annoyed and angry that Jackson could think something like that "What even makes you think that Dylan is gay?"

"The fact that I'm not stupid"

"I'm with you" Aaron points out

"I was in America"

"I love you" Aaron points out "And I hired a PA because I couldn't do everything without you, I needed help"

"Well I'm back now, you can't sack him"

Aaron looks away, takes a deep breath before looking back and saying "I can't. He signed a contract. He's a nice guy"

"I bet"

Having had enough of Jackson Aaron grabs his arm and spins him around "Did you sleep with someone in America?"

"No" Jackson says quickly, pulling a face "how can you think that?"

"Well you're accusing me of sleeping with someone, maybe it's cause you're feeling guilty"

Jackson shakes his head, looks at the floor before saying "Sorry"

Aaron nods

Jackson looks up, steps closer and wraps his arms around Aaron's neck, hoping for forgiveness and it only takes a couple of seconds before Aaron is wrapping his arms around Jackson's waist, pulling him closer.

"I like it when you're jealous" Aaron admits "Even after all these years"

Jackson laughs "At least it's not as bad as when you're jealous, you tend to deck people and we have to pay them not to take it any further"

Aaron shrugs "shouldn't come on to you when I'm standing right there should they?" Jackson smiles and they share a tender kiss, when they pull apart Aaron asks "Why'd you stop by anyway?"

"Not got a meeting until half past, thought I'd come see you"

"Ah!" Aaron says "Good thing I'm free until quarter past then isn't it?"

They chat for the next fifteen minutes until Rebecca rings to tell them that Aaron's appointment is waiting "Guess I should go" Jackson says and Aaron nods "See you at lunch?" Aaron checks

"Wouldn't miss it for the world"

Xxx

Lunch time and Aaron was waiting outside of Jackson's office to take him to lunch, when he came out, Mandy, his receptionist asks "Should I cancel you're afternoon meetings?"

Jackson laughs and shakes his head "No" he says "We'll be back in time for them"

She gives him a look "Promise" he adds with a grin and she rolls her eyes. Walking towards the car park Jackson suddenly remembers that they came in Aaron's car "Oh god"

"What?"

"It's your car; I'm going to have to let you drive me"

Aaron laughs loudly "I'll get us there faster"

"You'll probably kill us"

"Quit your complaining" Aaron demands, he was sick of Jackson's reaction to his driving. He was a perfectly good driver just a little...fast at times.

They made it to the restaurant twenty minutes later, Aaron not being pleased about the fact they were stuck in traffic. Which meant that they had less than an hour for their lunch, it wasn't ideal but at least they got to spend some time together.

"We have that thing tonight" Aaron says, reminding lover of the function they had to go to. Jackson pulls a face "Can't make it"

Aaron scowls "Why not?"

"I promised my Mum I'd go see her"

"Do it tomorrow"

Jackson rolls his eyes "I can't do it tomorrow, I haven't seen her in a month"

After that the mood for the lunch turned sour. Aaron wasn't pleased at Jackson was leaving him to go to the party on his own just because he was going to see his Mum. He could see her the next night and they both could have gone even although after all these years Hazel Rhodes still didn't like him all that much but she'd realised that he wasn't going anywhere. The atmosphere wasn't any better by the time they returned to work and the car journey there had been a quiet one. Once inside the car park Jackson had jumped out of the car and walked away quickly "See ya then!" Aaron barked at his retreating back but received no reply.

"Dick" he yelled as he followed him into the building.

Xxx

It was Thursday before they finally spoke to each other again. Aaron being the one to break the ice, it was nearing finishing time and he knew Jackson wouldn't be busy, so he walked into his office.

"What do you want?" Jackson barked, still annoyed at him for going off on one. Aaron ignored him, crossed the distance between them and pulled him into a fierce and passionate kiss, only pulling back once he really needed to.

"Does this mean you're sorry?" Aaron's jaw tightens at that, he doesn't want to take the blame but he's willing to if it meant they could talk, touch and not argue anymore

"I guess"

"Good" Jackson says closing the distance between them and kissing him soundly "I'll see you at home?"

"Can't wait" Aaron grins because he really couldn't. It was perfect timing for their reconciliation to, they were having a party and he didn't want it to be weird. It was a party for the whole company and companies that they work with.

Xxx

There are many things Jackson loves about his other half, some of them he couldn't list but the one thing he loves about him is how naive he is, the man can never tell when someone is hitting on him. Which is why Jackson felt so bad for accusing him of cheating, he'd never do it. When they were out, at gay bars Aaron wouldn't even look at other guys, he only had eyes for him. Although he was sure he hadn't hired his PA due to his qualifications, he knew he hadn't hired him for anything other than someone pretty to look at. Which is why, being stood at the bar whilst this PA flirted with his boyfriend was really making Jackson annoyed. He was normally a mile mannered man, didn't let a lot of things bother him but when it comes to Aaron? With Aaron he's possessive.

He knew, from his spot way across the room that Aaron had no clue what was going on. He was just being friendly whilst Dylan was flirting. Unable to take it anymore he crossed the room as quickly as he could, making straight for his other half and hoping no one would stop him.

Aaron felt a hand on the back of his neck, he knew who the hand belonged to and when he turned towards him, he had a grin on his face "Hey you" he smiled "wondered where you'd gone" surprising him Jackson leaned forward and kissed him softly. He was surprised, they didn't usually give such public displays, especially not at one of their parties but he wasn't about to complain about it.

"Interrupting something?" he asks, glancing at Dylan. Dylan who looks less than pleased with the interrupting "course not" Aaron answers "just chatting, couldn't find you earlier"

"But Dylan found you right?" Jackson says "Kept you company?" he asks all the while staring at Dylan.

"Yeah" Aaron nods "Excuse me" Aaron excuses himself and Jackson watches as he walks away, towards the toilets.

"Nice guy, Aaron"

"You're telling me?" Jackson asks "I've been with him quite a few years thanks"

"Hot too" Dylan says, his eyes widening at what he had just let slip, he couldn't believe it "I mean..."

"I know what you mean" Jackson tells him "I'm not stupid. He might not see it but I can"

Dylan just stares

"But it's never going to happen"

"Never say never"

Jackson lets out a laugh "I can say never" he tells him "Because I know my boyfriend"

Xxx

It's three am before the final guest exits their house "thank god!" Aaron says, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing his tie onto a chair.

"Tell me about it" Jackson says coming downstairs and he's only wearing boxers. Aaron look him up and down "That was quick"

Jackson shrugs and Aaron closes the distance between them "how about we go to bed?" he suggests

"You know Dylan fancies you right?"

"What?...No he doesn't"

"Yes he does"

"Is that why you were all over me? When he was there?"

Jackson doesn't admit it but Aaron grins "I like it" he says "Now how about you take me upstairs and show me why I only want to be with you?"

"With pleasure" Jackson says, slipping his hand around the back of his boyfriend's neck and pulling him up the stairs as they kiss.

Xxx

Reviews are most welcome! :D


	24. Words

**Words**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - I need to know what you think. I was thinking about writing a new story or adding to 'Long lost love' what do you think? Would you read it? Let me know! :) Or if anyone has any ideas for me I'm happy to take em' I'm lacking in the inspiration department ever since they killed poor sexy Jackson. _

* * *

><p>"Daddy I'm cold!"<p>

Aaron turned around to see his two year old daughter stood behind him, arms crossed and a foul look on her face. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her as he pulled her towards him. "I'll warm you up" he tells her and hugs her close into his chest as she stands between his legs.

It's December, it's cold and it's snowing. He shouldn't have made the journey but he couldn't not, when he'd opened his eyes that very morning something inside him told him he had to come. He had to visit this place and thank him. He had to thank him, after all without him he wouldn't be where he was today.

"Why are we here Daddy, I'm cold"

"Just a few more minutes baby, I have someone I have to see"

"Who?" she asks, looking around "there's no one here"

She was right. There was no one around but that was because they were currently in a cemetery. He wanted to explain but he wasn't sure how to go about explaining a cemetery to a two year old. "Just because you can't see him doesn't mean he's here" Aaron says as a cold crisp wind passed over his back. He smiled to himself, was that Jackson? Probably, maybe, he wasn't sure but he liked to think so.

"Hey you" he says with a smile, touching his hand to the cross in front of him. The cross that read 'Jackson Walsh' "How are you?" he laughs out loud shakes his head "Stupid question right?" he nods "Sorry, I just" he takes a deep breath and tears form in his eyes. He's wanted to do this for so long but he'd never had the courage before.

"I know I haven't been around in a while and I'm sorry. Really, I just... I had to sort my head out. I've never stopped thinking about you, not once. I'm not the same screwed up teenager, I promise, I'm nearly thirty now" his voice breaks with emotion "and I wish you were here still, everyday" he told his daughter a little closer as she looks up at him, wondering what's wrong with him.

"I wish she was ours" he tells him honestly because he does "You'd be amazing. You'd be... Amazing" he repeats "I hope you're happy wherever you are Jackson because you made all of this possible for me. You made me comfortable with being gay and after everything that happened, helping you, my breakdown I just had to get away from the village and I've wanted to come back for years. I knew you'd be missing me, I missed you"

He bent his head and cuddled into his little girl as he got the words right in his head. He'd thought about this moment for years, what he would say but now he was faced with it, now it was here, he had no idea what else he was going to say.

"I'm 28 now" he says "but you probably know that. I met someone, six years ago. I like him... I.. I... I love him" he finally spits out before making himself clear "not as much as I loved you though, I still love you but with him it's different. I'm older and I'm not as stupid. He knows all about you, about what happened. I thought he'd run but he didn't. He reminds me of you sometimes, maybe that's why I love him because he reminds me of you"

He feels small hands on his face and he looks at her and smiles, she was wiping away the tears from his face that he could no longer hold back "daddy?" she asks in a worried little voice "I'm fine baby" he tells her "I'll take you to get a hot chocolate soon ok?" she nods happily at that and settles herself back against his chest.

"This is Kimberly" he says with a huge smile "My daughter, well, mine and Rhys' daughter, Rhys is the guy I'm with. You'd like him, as a person. She's our daughter. I was a little worried about doing it at first, getting her, having her but I couldn't be without her now. I tell her about you. I told her we were coming to see a very special person, she was looking forward to it. She's a little confused as to where you are now, I'll tell her when she's older" he presses a kiss to her cheek "Like I said earlier, I do wish she was ours. I wish things were different but they're not. You're not here and I have to live with that every day, I have to miss you every day"

It was Christmas soon and Aaron couldn't wait, mostly to spend it was his daughter. He had just moved back to Yorkshire, he was in Hotten now. He was closer to the village which he was happy about because it meant he could come by and see Jackson more often, although the grave didn't look uncared for, someone was clearly looking after it. He suspected it was his Mum or one of the dingles or even Paddy; he hadn't been to the village to see any of them for a long time either, it was too hard. He hoped now that he had managed to visit the grave that that would change; he didn't have to hurt when he came back here now. Now he could remember the good times he shared with Jackson and there were a lot of them. Jackson remembering Jackson was a happy memory.

It was too cold to keep his daughter out much longer "I have to go mate" he says "but I won't stay away as long again alright? I promise" with that he touched his fingers to his mouth and then to the headstone "See you soon mate" he stood up and scooped the little girl into the his arms.

As he turned around he almost collided with another person "sorry" he says as he looks up, to look at whomever he had just bumped into. His eyes widen, it's Jerry.

"Sorry" he says taking a step away "Still?"

Jerry's voice stops him and he turns back around "I'll be sorry until the day I die" he says honestly "I still miss him every day and I still love him as much as I did. You might not believe that but it's true. I'll leave you alone"

Jerry doesn't say anything else and Aaron walks out of the cemetery towards the cafe, his daughter was freezing and he had promised her a hot chocolate. Now he knew who it was that was looking after the grave, Jerry. Jerry who was probably trying to make himself feel better, if that's what it took then Aaron could understand.

"Who was that Daddy?"

He doesn't know how to answer her so instead he says "What do you want for Christmas from Santa huh?" he tries to put Jerry out of his mind and focus on his daughter as he walks into the cafe that he hadn't been in for a number of years. He wouldn't stay away from Jackson for as long as he had again, he couldn't. He'd be back soon, maybe next time on his own so he could spend longer by the grave.

Xxx

Reviews are most welcome! :)


	25. Tease

**Tease**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - This was meant to be number 15, but I was made to swap to get number fifteen out quicker, so here it is finally! :)_

* * *

><p>It had been two years. Two long years since they had had sex, it was torture for both of them. Jackson knew that no matter what Aaron said he had to miss sex because if he didn't then what the hell did that say about their sex life? It had taken over two years for him to recover from his accident but now he had. He was fighting fit, had been for the past few months but even so, they hadn't done anything apart from the odd heavy petting session and a couple of passionate snogs. Jackson wanted more, Jackson needed more before he burst. It wasn't as if his boyfriend was ugly, he was hot, to him anyway and he wanted him, badly. They still lived in Dale Head, Aaron had moved out of Smithy and into Dale Head not long after Rhona had given birth to Leo, he wasn't very kid friendly. The house was one again looking like a house though and that was down to him, to Jackson. He had put it back the way it was, it felt good to be able to build again, it felt like him.<p>

Aaron was sat on the couch watching some stupid car show when Jackson got home. Hazel was out, he knew his Mother wouldn't be back that night, he had told her to make sure she wasn't. He wanted some time alone with his boyfriend. Locking the front door behind him because you never knew who could walk in Jackson crossed the distance between himself and Aaron. He had a plan. He snatched the remote out of Aaron's hand and turned the TV off "Hey!" Aaron complains "I was watching that"

"Tough" Jackson replies with a sly smirk "Cause I'm doing this" he slides down on top of the mechanic, straddling him.

"Jackson... What..." Aaron says shifting uncomfortably; he can already feel himself becoming aroused. He didn't want this; it was too soon, right?

To shut him up Jackson kissed him, the kiss wasn't that exciting, it was sloppy, almost lazy, he just wanted to shut the mechanic up and make him feel instead of think. He had spent _way_ to long thinking.

Within a few minutes Aaron was responding to the kiss though because he felt his hands in his hair, pulling slightly and he could feel him tugging at his bottom lip. Jackson couldn't help but smile into the kiss, he had him. He wasn't about to let him get away now, they were going to do this and if they had to do it right there on the couch then they would.

Jackson presses himself against Aaron, hoping beyond hope that Aaron doesn't push him away, he's pretty sure he'd tell him to piss of if he did that. He needed this, _they_ needed it. As he pushes back he feels Aaron trying to pull away but he's not letting it happen, he wraps his arms around the mechanic's neck and slips his tongue inside his mouth, seeking out its playmate. He finds it and Aaron moans. Jackson loves that after so long he still knows what buttons to push to get Aaron to cave.

After a few more seconds they come up for air and just kinda look at each other, both of their eyes glazed over with lust "Jackson..."

"Shhh" Jackson pressing a finger to his lips "stop thinking, just feel"

Aaron looks into the brown eyes of the man he's crazy about and he caves, he can't say no. He's thought about this ever since Jackson started walking again, leaning forward he captured his lips, kissing him deeply as he changed their position on the couch. Lying down and pulling Jackson down on top of him. Quickly Jackson felt the mechanic's hands at the hem of his top and then it was being pulled from his torso and flung somewhere across the room. If feels as if Aaron's hands are everywhere at once and Aaron can't get enough of his lover and his hands start on the belt, Jackson could feel how turned on Aaron was already, through both layers of denim, it pleased him to know he could still turn him on.

Shuffling out of his own jeans Jackson pulled Aaron's top off and disposed of the mechanic's jeans all in one swift go before climbing back on top of the younger man and making himself comfortable. For a moment he stares in awe of the younger man's chest and allows his hands to roam over it. He's done it before but this time it feels different. Leaning forward he presses a soft kiss on his chest bone before continuing his path back up to his mouth, his kiss was welcomed and Aaron wrapped his arms around him, pulling him flush against his body.

"...Bed" Aaron gasps just as Jackson's hands finds its way between his legs, palming his erection through his boxers "too far" Jackson tells him honestly because it was. He couldn't move from the couch, they would never make it up the stairs and the stairs would just be uncomfortable.

Within seconds their roles had been reversed and Jackson wasn't quite sure how it happened. One minute he had been touching Aaron, the next he found he was on his back completely naked as was Aaron. He had no idea how that happened but he liked it.

"I've wanted this for so long" Aaron admits as he kisses the builder, Jackson bends his legs, effectively pinning Aaron between them. He knows what's coming and he can't actually contain himself and a few seconds later he feels Aaron's fingers enter him. The moan of satisfaction he lets out at the movement has Aaron smiling into the kiss and quickly deepening it. Aaron felt Jackson's muscles tighten around him, it had been far, far too long since he had been intimate with his boyfriend and he was grateful to whoever was allowing them to be again, he hadn't realised just how much he had missed sex until this very moment.

"Aaron..." Jackson moaned, practically begged. Aaron's fingers were all well and good but Jackson wanted something else inside him, something he'd longed for for almost two years.

Looking down into those brown depths Aaron felt he had to make sure, he wasn't going to push "Are you sure?"

Jackson rolls his eyes, of course he was sure "Aaron, I can build again, we can do this" he tells "Stop worrying, feel" he says and to emphasise his point he runs his hands down over Aaron's muscular back, coming to a stop on his firm, round buttocks and squeezing. After a short, quick kiss Jackson could feel the tip of Aaron's cock, nudging him, teasing him. He allowed his eyes to roll into the back of his head and closed his eyes, waiting. He was sure it was be sore, tight but he didn't care.

Aaron kissed him, as his cock slid into his tight, hot, oh so hot entrance and Aaron couldn't remember ever feeling as hot or as turned on as he currently was, had it been like this before? He didn't know, he didn't care, after a few minutes Jackson's hips were rising and falling on the bed; he took the hint and began to move, setting his pace. It was quick and rather frantic but god it felt good.

Jackson was surprised when he felt Aaron's hand encircle his very hard cock but at the same time he was glad, Aaron knew what he wanted, knew how to give it to him. He loved this guy, more than anything.

As they both neared their orgasm, their ultimate high that neither had experienced in two years their pace and rhythm slowed and suddenly it became apparent to Aaron that it wasn't just sex, they weren't fucking. He was making love to him, making love. That wasn't a term Aaron had ever found himself using before but it was what he was doing. Looking down he found Jackson looking up at him, smiling, his eyes glazed over and he had to kiss him. Swooping down he captured his lips in a fierce but sweet kiss, as both their orgasms hit. Aaron felt Jackson shake beneath him but at the same time he couldn't be sure if it was just himself he could feel too because he was shaking, he couldn't feel his legs.

Lifelessly he slumped on top of his lover, both panting, trying to regain control over their breathing. Jackson's hands ran lazily up and down the mechanic's back.

Soon enough their breathing was back to normal and Aaron looked down "We should try that again sometime" he says with a grin

"Yeah" Jackson agrees "Tonight"

Aaron laughs and reluctantly pulls himself out of his boyfriend and stand up, retrieving his boxers and Jackson's "We should really..." he was about to say 'Get dressed before your Mother gets home' but Jackson says "Shower? My thoughts exactly" and drags him up the stairs. He doesn't have the heart to say no and that's mostly because he doesn't want to.

Xxx

REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY AND MAKE ME POST :)


	26. Agony

**Agony**

_Disclaimer - Nope, they don't belong to me. Sorry_

_A/N - I got bored and wanted this chapter over with. I can barely remember what's in it. Anyway, enjoy! :)_

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><p>Aaron was in the garage when Paddy came walking up the gravel towards him. He looked worried and slightly anxious "Alright Paddy?" the young man asks, dropping what he was doing and heading towards the man who was his father as far as he was concerned.<p>

"I...Uh..."

"You what?"

"I just had a call"

Aaron nods "You came all the way here to tell me that?" he laughs but the words that leave Paddy's mouth next quickly wipes the smile off of his face "It was from Hazel"

"Ha... Hazel, Hazel?"

Paddy nods, watching the younger mans reaction. They hadn't seen or heard a thing from Hazel for eight years, ever since she had left the village with Jackson.

Aaron was scared; he didn't want to ask the question on the tip of his tongue "What did she want?" Paddy pulls a piece of paper from his pocket "she asked if you could call her"

Call her? Why would she want him to call her? Was Jackson... No, he couldn't even think that. He couldn't be, could he? Would she call to tell him that? He takes the piece of paper and reads the number "did she say why?"

"She just said it was important" Paddy informs him before walking away and leaving the younger man to it.

He watched Paddy walking away all the while clutching his piece of paper, he was shaking. He was shaking even more as he pulled out his mobile and dialling the number. After a couple of rings Hazel answered, after a few pleasantries she informed him of the reason for the call and her last words to him were "Get here"

"Get here" Hazel's words rang through his head, as a text message with address details came through on his phone. Get here? How could she call after all these years and expect him to drop everything. Five minutes later he had closed up the garage and he was on his way. He had to get there. There was nowhere else he wanted to be at that very moment. He had to see Jackson, Jackson who dumped him and left him without a word eight years ago.

Xxx

Forty five minutes later he was sat outside of the address given to him by Hazel. Forty five minutes. Forty give minutes had been all that separated them for all these years? How could he have done it? How could he have left him? Did what they have really mean so little in the end? Really? He couldn't believe it and... it seemed he couldn't get his feet to move. He wanted to get out the car, he knew he had to get out of the car but he just... Couldn't.

After fifteen more minutes sitting in the car he finally gathered up the courage to get out and walk up the path towards the front door. His heart was pounding in his chest, he was pretty sure it would come straight through. After two knocks the door was opened and Aaron's eyes widened, what the hell was he doing answering the door?

"What the hell?" both men demanded at the same time, both sporting shocked expressions and neither one of them able to believe their eyes and both for different reasons.

"MUM!"

"HAZEL!" Aaron yelled out through the door. What was she playing at? She had called him and lead him to believe that Jackson was ill, that clearly wasn't the case, far from it. A few seconds later she could be heard shuffling towards the door "What's going..." the words died on her lips as she spotted the mechanic "Aaron" she smiled "What a surprise"

"Surprise?" Aaron barks "Surprise? You told me to get here"

"You did what?" Jackson asks, turning to her, he'd guessed it was her but she'd called him and told him to come? Why? After all these years, she knew how he felt.

"Well" Hazel shrugs "Neither of you were doing anything"

"You told me he was ill" Aaron points out "Why do you think I dropped everything and came here so fast"

"Wait, when did she call you?"

"About an hour ago" Aaron answers, finally looking at his ex again, he looked good. He looked tall.

"Mum!" Jackson spat "What are you playing at?"

Hazel rolls her eyes at the pair of them "Look" she says "It's like this. He didn't know you could walk, move even and I felt like he should know. You weren't going to tell him so I did it for you"

"Now?" Jackson glares, why now? He had a feeling he knew but still... She could have done this years ago.

Aaron, with his anger finally setting in snaps at Jackson "Don't talk to her like that" he says causing his ex to look at him, eyebrows raised in question "You what?" he asks "She's my Mother, I'll do what I want"

Aaron shakes his head "No you won't, what's annoyed you Jackson, the fact that I'm here or the fact your mother had the balls to do something you didn't?"

"I didn't want you to know!" Jackson yells out "I would have told you if I had"

Aaron recoiled slightly at that, feeling like he'd been slapped. Why wouldn't he want him to know? He had been all set to stick by him until Jackson up and left the village. The look on Aaron's face immediately makes him feel bad and he says "I didn't mean that"

"Yeah you did" Aaron says with a nod because he knows when Jackson means something or not. Hazel, being as perceptive as she was steps out of the house after grabbing her jacket and saying "You two need to talk" with that she pushes Aaron inside the house and pulls the door closed behind her "and when I come back you better have talked, no storming out"

Xxx

Awkwardly Jackson led Aaron into the dining room. It was the best place to talk. He motioned to one of the empty chairs as he sat down, it took the mechanic a few minutes as he stood there, deciding what to do. Jackson wondered if he was going to sit down, he was just standing there, looking around the room but finally, with a sigh he dropped down into the seat directly opposite him.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever but in reality it had only been silent between the two of them for mere minutes "How the hell can you move?" Aaron demands, his anger bubbling to the surface. He'd been trying to suppress it but it was useless "I mean... Did you know you'd be able to move when you left the village?"

"You know why I left the village Aaron" he points out and Aaron looks away, yeah, he knew "You told me to" he reminds him "You said you wanted it"

"And you said I was enough for you" Jackson bites back "clearly we both lied about what we wanted"

"I didn't lie" Aaron says defending himself "I just wanted to prove you wrong"

Jackson just stares at him, a vacant look on his face, he'd thought about this moment for years, rehearsed it in his head countless times but now, faced with Aaron in front of him the words just weren't coming.

"I'm sorry" he finally says because he was. Really, truly sorry, he was sorry for leaving it so long and for never telling him he was getting better or that he was better.

Aaron wanted to argue that 'Sorry' wasn't enough, that he wasn't accepting it but looking at him, looking in his eyes he found he couldn't. He had to accept it "I know" he replies with a small smile "it still hurts though" It hurt in ways he couldn't explain, he had turned up under the impression that Jackson was ill, that he needed him only to find that Jackson wasn't ill and he didn't need him. What was he meant to do? Did they walk away from each other? Pretend it never happened? What did they do?

"You want the full story?" Jackson asks and Aaron's reply is a slight nod of his head. Jackson takes a deep breath gets to his feet and says "Still take the same in your coffee?" he asks as he heads to the kitchen. They would need a drink, this could take some time.

"You remember?" Aaron asks not believing it "Course"

"Still the same" Aaron nods, not giving anymore just to see if he could indeed remember how he liked his coffee. With Jackson in the kitchen Aaron stood up and walked around the dining room, taking in the sights, the pictures on the wall. His eyes were drawn to one picture in particular though, it was of Jackson. He was with another man; they were smiling and had their arms around one another. It made his stomach twist but when he heard Jackson coming back through he quickly put it back and slipped back into his seat, taking the coffee mug from his ex's hands and tasting it.

"Perfect" he says with a grin "Good memory"

"There's nothing about you I don't remember" Jackson admits, eyes widening as he realises just what he had said. Aaron clears his throat, trying to suppress the smile those words had caused, he couldn't let Jackson know he was happy about his admission. It wasn't long before Aaron tried to fill the silence by asking questions and quickly he didn't have to ask because Jackson told him everything, well, almost everything and before they knew it they had been chatting for over two hours and Hazel was walking back in through the door.

"Is it safe?" she calls out causing Jackson to pull a face "We're in here" he calls and after a few moments she pops her head around the door frame "You haven't killed him then?" she asks, directing her question to Aaron. He lets out a small laugh and gets to his feet "No" he says "But I should get back to the garage. I just kinda... left it"

"Oh ok" Hazel says, trying and failing to hide her disappointment "don't be a stranger now though, yeah?" she asks pulling him into a hug. She had missed him; it was strange considering she hadn't liked him all that much when she first met him.

"I won't" he says looking her in the eye but they both know that he doesn't mean it. This is more than likely the last time they'll see each other.

"I'll walk you to the door"

At the front door Aaron is stood just outside, hands stuffed into his pockets as he and Jackson stare at one another, each waiting on the other saying something. "I uh... should go"

"It was good seeing you" Jackson says, silently adding _'real good'_

"You too" Aaron meant it, really he did and he found himself wondering how he was going to get his feet to move but he knew he had to. He had a boyfriend, Jackson said he was seeing someone, there was no reason to hurt anyone. Jackson probably didn't have feelings for him anymore, at least not feelings like he used to have.

"I might see you around"

"Definitely" Aaron agrees before walking away. Turning his back was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and he found himself wondering if it was as hard for Jackson to walk or move away from him eight years ago. Had he found it hard? Or had it come easy because he didn't love him anymore? Either way he didn't know and he wasn't ever likely to get the answer to his question.

"You didn't tell him" Hazel's voice makes Jackson jump, he was expecting it. He was too lost in his own thoughts and watching Aaron drive away.

"I told him everything"

Hazel scoffs, not believing it "You told him you were getting married?"

Jackson pulls a face and moves back inside, Hazel has her answer "Why didn't you tell him?"

"Wasn't like I was going to invite him"

"Why not?"

Jackson gives her a look, an 'are you serious look' which she returns before saying "Is it because with him there you couldn't fool yourself into believing you love Doug?" Hazel liked Doug, really she did but she knows her son and she knows when his heart's not in it.

"Leave it Mum" he says "We've been over for eight years and I marry Doug in four weeks. I know why you went and got Aaron but it's not going to work"

He walked away from her but Hazel wasn't about to give up that easily, she wasn't that type of woman. She had a plan.

Xxx

Three weeks later and Hazel was going insane. The wedding was still going ahead and as far as she knew Jackson hadn't seen or heard from Aaron since the day he had turned up. That wasn't good; it wasn't part of her plan. Why did they both have to be so stubborn? Damn them. She knew that Jackson was still in love with the mechanic and the way he had looked at him that day in their house had just proved it to her and vice versa with Aaron. She knows that there would be no way in hell that Aaron dropped everything just to race to theirs unless he still had feelings for her son. Why couldn't they just admit it to themselves and each other? It would save a lot of people a lot of heartache.

There was only one thing for it, she was going to have to go to Emmerdale and talk some sense into Aaron or at least try and talk some sense into Aaron. He was a stubborn git, just like Jackson. Two hours after deciding she would have to visit the mechanic she turned up in the village, she headed straight for the garage hoping he was there and to her luck, he was.

"Hazel? What are you doing 'ere?" he asks making his way towards her and wiping his hands on a rag before discarding it "I need to talk to you"

"Here to tell me Jackson is dying or something?"

Hazel shakes her head "Great" Aaron replies sarcastically "What is it-" he's cut off by Hazel talking over him, she shuts him up completely when she says "He's getting married" The shock is clear to see on Aaron's face and it takes a couple of minutes before his mouth snaps shut and he stops looking so shocked.

"He's what?" he asks, licking his lips, his mouth suddenly very, very dry.

"He's getting married" she repeats in a somewhat softer tone of voice. Aaron looks at the ground, absorbing the information. "Good for him" he nods, with his best fake smile "Why didn't he tell me?"

"Why do you think?"

Aaron shrugs and Hazel rolls her eyes "Will you answer a question for me Aaron?" she asks, completely changing the subject for a minute "Yeah"

"Honestly?"

Aaron nods

"Do you still love my son?"

His mouth opens and closes a couple of times. He hadn't expected that question, "I...uh...I..." he stuttered "It's an easy enough question. Do you still love him?"

"I'm seeing someone"

"That's not what I asked" Hazel points out "Do you?"

Unable to actually say the words the mechanic resorts to nodding his head frantically "and are you really willing to let him marry someone else?"

"He must love him"

"He does" Hazel says and she doesn't miss the look that flashes across the mechanic's face "just not as much as he loves you. It's not even in the same league"

"Then why isn't he here?"

"He's stubborn, a bit like you"

"Why are you telling me this Hazel? What do you expect me to do?"

"Stop it" she answers quickly as if it were obvious "Tell him you love him and you don't hate him for not getting in touch. You two belong together"

"I thought that" Aaron reminds her "I would have still been with him now, paralysed or now. I loved him, I still do but he doesn't want me" with that he turns his back on the older woman and walks back inside the garage.

"You can't just give up without a fight Aaron. You did that once before, you have a second chance, don't let him marry someone else" with that said and knowing he could hear her Hazel walked away all she could do now was hope that one or both of them came to their senses before the wedding... The wedding, Aaron didn't know when it was "He gets married on Tuesday" she proceeded to tell him the date, time and venue just incase he might find he needed it then left him to his own thoughts.

Jackson was getting married? Why hadn't he told him? Part of him knew the answer to that but it didn't stop it hurting and yeah, he'd said they would keep in touch but he just couldn't. Knowing he was with someone, he couldn't be friendly he would more than likely end up decking the guy plus there was the fact that he was seeing someone. It was better this way. It had been eight years.

Xxx

Monday night and Aaron was sitting in the Woolpack drowning his sorrows, he didn't want to think about what would be taking place the next day. He hadn't told anyone about it but Jake, the guy he had been seeing had practically broken up with him a couple of days before. Ever since Hazel's visit his mood and temper have gotten worse. He was snapping and biting everyone's head off, he had a lot on his mind.

"What are you doing here?" Aaron barked, it was Adam.

"Mum called" he says dropping into the seat opposite his best friend "said you were drowning your sorrows over something and scaring everyone away"

Aaron scoffs

"Gonna tell me what's up?" Adam asks and after a long drawn out silence Aaron finally says "Jackson's getting married"

Adam almost spits his pint everywhere "Married? What? How? Huh?" Aaron had neglected to tell Adam about the fact that Jackson had gotten in touch with him or that he could walk. He set about righting that and twenty minutes later Adam was sitting back, eyes wide "Wow, what you going to do?"

"Nothing" Aaron shrugs "He can marry who he wants"

"Say that like you mean it" the farmer smirks and Aaron scowls "I mean it, I couldn't care less"

"Looks like it" Adam says, eyeing the countless empty glasses and beer bottles on the table. "Shut up" the mechanic barks half heartedly "it was bad enough last time, at least then I didn't know where he was or what he was doing" he suddenly gets to his feet and says "I need another drink"

"They're not going to serve you mate" Adam tells him "It's me Mam's pub" he reminds him "I'll get served"

"No you won't" Adam insists "she's not here and you wouldn't have been served half of them if she was"

"Whatever" he says with a roll of his eyes before pushing the farmer out of the way and storming out of the pub. He doesn't follow him because he knows he has to deal with in on his own and come to a decision.

"What's up with him?" Adam's mother asks, over the years and when he's not being so crazy and argumentative, she really quite likes the mechanic.

"Jackson's getting married in the morning" her eyes widen and Adam sets about telling her the story he had just heard from Aaron.

Xxx

The morning after the night before and Aaron felt rough. His head was banging and his throat was as sore as he could ever remember it being. It didn't help that he could hear a constant banging on his front door, he hoped someone else would answer it but as it continued to persist he guessed no one else was home and rolled out of bed to answer it.

It was Adam "What do you want?"

"Why aren't you dressed?" the farmer demands and Aaron pulls a face "cause you woke me up, what have I to get dressed for? I'm not going to work"

"No" the farmer nods "But you are going to a wedding"

"No, I'm not" Aaron states "I'm not about to go to some wedding and watch him marry someone else"

"No" Adam repeats "you're going to stop him making a mistake and tell him you want him back because if you don't the two of you will regret it"

"He's the one getting married, I'm sure if he didn't want to he would" he says walking away from the door, Adam follows. He steals a quick look at his watch, Aaron had said Jackson was getting married at eleven, it was currently half past ten, he didn't have a lot of time to make him see sense.

"Do you love him Aaron?" the question stops the mechanic but he doesn't turn around "because I know you did but if you tell me you don't anymore and you're just feeling sorry for yourself then I'll leave it but if not, if you do love him then you can't let him go again. You might never get this chance ever again"

"Adam..."

"You have to at least try Aaron, you never know until you try"

"What if he shoots me down?" he asks, continuing his walk to the kitchen and dropping down onto a stool "I'll make an idiot of myself"

"Isn't that better than not trying at all? I mean, you never knew he might declare his undying love for you too"

Aaron smirks and shakes his head, embarrassed slightly "We'll never get there" he says and Adam groans "Get dressed and we'll give it a shot!" Adam barks and Aaron runs from the kitchen.

Xxx

"We're gonna be late"

"We won't"

"We are!" Aaron exclaims as they pull onto the road that the registry office is on "It's already past eleven. I'm going to go in, he's going to tell me I'm an idiot and... Let's just turn around"

"We're not turning around Aaron" Adam says as they pull up outside of the registry office "what you waiting for?" Adam barks "Kinda scared" Aaron admits only to be pushed out of the car by Adam "Go get him... stud" that earns the farmer a slap around the head just before Aaron dives out of the car.

Anxiously Adam waits in the car, he thinks about getting out but he doesn't think Aaron would want another spectator added to the other ones he already had. He could wait and just hope that Aaron came back out with Jackson.

Ten minutes later a dejected looking Aaron walks out of the office. Hands stuck into his jeans and his head hanging. Clearly it hadn't gone his way. He knew he was going to blame him. A couple of minutes later he slipped into the van and barked "drive"

"What happened?"

Aaron didn't answer, just shook his head and not wanting an argument Adam drove them back to the village. After five minutes Aaron finally spoke "He wasn't there. I was too late"

Adam didn't know what to say to that "He's married him. I was too late" thumping his hands against the dash board "damn it!" he yells "Why didn't I call him?"

The question was left unanswered as they drove back. Adam didn't know what to say to make it right and every now and then Aaron would start mumbling about missing his chance and the farmer could only listen.

"Can't believe I was too late"

They were back in the village now and Adam could see him before anyone else "Uh... don't think he got married mate?"

"What?" Aaron asks, looking at him then looking back. That's when he saw him. Crouched down outside Dale View with his head in his hands was Jackson. He was wearing a suit "looks like he had second thoughts"

They hadn't even stopped properly and Aaron was already outside of the car and making his way towards Jackson.

"Jackson?"

At the sound of his voice Jackson jumped to his feet and looked around anxiously "Sorry"

"What are you sorry for?"

"Being here" Jackson shrugs "I don't know if you want me here or not"

"Why are you here?"

"I was meant to be getting married today" Jackson says "don't know if you know that"

"I know that"

"I couldn't. Turns out all I can think about is you. I don't know how you feel-" he didn't get a chance to finish because Aaron had grabbed him and before he knew it he was capturing his lips in a tender kiss. Aaron knew they had a lot to talk about. He would have to tell him about the fact he had gone to stop the wedding and talk about the past but it would come. They would sort it all out.

Xxx

REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY. YOU WANT ME TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE THEN I WRITE!


	27. Foolish

**Foolish**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

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><p>He had no idea why he had agreed to this. He didn't want to do it. Maybe he had wanted to when he agreed to tag along but that was a week ago and a lot can change in a week. He did not want to go to a stupid dinner at Home Farm but what he wanted less than not go was to not fight with Jackson. Things had been going well for them, ever since he had convinced the builder to take him back and that had been months ago so he didn't want to argue over something so stupid as going to a dinner at Home Farm with Declan. He was pretty sure that Declan didn't want him to go, they had barely spoken to each other the whole time the guy had been in the village but he and Jackson were mates plus Jackson was going because Declan said he was going to throw more business his way and there was always the chance of Declan's contacts needing a builder too. He had to go, he couldn't back out now.<p>

He was standing admiring himself in the mirror, doing up the last remaining buttons on his shirt when Jackson walked in. Towel wrapped around his waist, he was just out of the shower. Aaron couldn't help but roll his eyes "and you call me the late one" Jackson's reply to that was to scoff. Aaron was always the late one. Jackson was far more punctual than the mechanic but not today. Today he had been helping a mate whilst he was between jobs and the traffic on the drive home had been terrible. "I'll only take two minutes" Aaron rolled his eyes. In all the time he had been dating the builder he had never known him to take 'two minutes' getting ready. Sometimes he was sure that his boyfriend was worse than a woman and had told him that very fact on more than one occasion. He was watching his boyfriend dress via the mirror, he couldn't help it. Jackson's body was practically flawless, he liked looking at it. Their eyes meet and Aaron smirks at the builder before winking causing Jackson to let out a laugh "you scrub up not bad huh?"

Admiring himself in the mirror once more Aaron pulls a face. He hadn't made that much of an effort. He was wearing boots, jeans and a shirt, nothing spectacular. When Jackson was finished getting dressed he too was wearing boots, jeans and a shirt luckily though their shirts were nothing alike. That would just be too awkward. It was bad enough that he was fully expecting Declan's mates to be staring at them. They were likely to be the only gay couple there. He was going to have to try hard not to react to any murmurs or stares that he or they might get.

"Ready?"

"Is it too late to back out?"

With his hands on his hips and a scowl on his face Jackson as he studied him "You're not being serious, you said you would come"

"I know" Aaron pales; he really didn't want an argument. He shrugs off his comments "Ignore me. Come on" he grabs his boyfriend by the hand and pulls him down the stairs "I guess we're walking then" he comments as they reach the bottom step. He didn't fancy walking all the way to Home Farm but it wasn't worth waiting on a taxi either.

"Guess so"

"You guys heading to home farm?" Andy asked, walking out of the kitchen "I'm on my way up to Butler's I'll give you a lift"

"Uh...yeah"

"Cheers" Aaron said with a grin, he was happy not to have to walk that distance. It may have been June and it may be hot but he could be lazy at times. The two of them made their way into Andy's jeep and he drove them to Home Farm "Have fun" he said in a sarcastic tone, looking at Aaron. Knowing full well that fun was the last thing Aaron would be having.

"Adam's here" Jackson informed the farmer "He'll be fine" with that he grabs hold of Aaron's sleeve and pulls him towards the front door. Mia is there waiting on them, she grins at them and throws her arms around Jackson "thank god you two are here" she exclaimed "I've had no decent conversation"

"What about Adam?"

"Don't know where he is" Mia informs them as they walk into the house "Or my Mum, it seems the two of them have dropped off the face of the planet" behind them Aaron almost chokes. He has a pretty good idea where they are "I'll get you a drink" she tells them before moving off in the direction of the kitchen.

Xxx

Not long after they arrived Jackson was whisked off to talk to someone by Declan which left Aaron more or less alone and wishing that Adam would hurry himself up. The farmer had told him about his relationship with Ella around a week before; he still hadn't gotten around to telling Jackson. He wanted to but he'd just never had the time and there was the fact that Jackson was big on honesty and he wasn't sure if he would keep the secret or not. He wasn't sure if the builder's loyalties would lie with Adam or with Declan. He hated keeping secrets from him, they had promised that they wouldn't but this wasn't his secret so he wasn't really keeping any secrets about himself from him and eventually he would tell him. He tells him everything. It wasn't long before his wish was granted though, the farmer stumbled through the door and made straight for him. Cocking his eyebrows Aaron looked at him knowingly "Where you been?"

"Helping my Dad at the farm"

Aaron scoffs "Yeah. Ella's missing from this party too" The farmer's eyes widen a little and he smirks at his best mate which makes Aaron laugh "When you get caught, you're so dead"

"Let's just hope I don't get caught then"

"ADAM!" a voice rang out through the room, the voice belonged to Mia "Be right back"

"You better be" Aaron mumbled under his breath. He had come to this stupid party for Jackson, only his boyfriend had left him. Why the hell had he done that? He knew he was trying to drum up some business and Declan was helping, so why exactly had he had to come? Just as he was thinking that he felt a hand slip up the back of his shirt. There was only one person brave enough, or stupid enough depending on how you looked at it, to do that. A smile spread over his face "Finished with Declan are you?"

Smiling sheepishly at his boyfriend Jackson nods "Sorry, just some guy. I'm yours for a little bit more. They're waiting on Ella before they start the meal"

"Alright" he says avoiding making eye contact with the builder. Jackson notices straight away "What's up with you?"

"Nothing" he answers quickly, too quickly which is exactly why Jackson's now studying him "You will tell me you know"

"I know" he admits "Later"

"I won't forget"

Aaron knows he won't forget, he doesn't forget anything, he smiles at his other half. He wants to kiss him but there are too many people around. He doesn't want to be stared at but before he knows it Jackson had closed the distance and drops a quick kiss onto his lips. When he looks at him he's smiling, one eyebrow raised as if he's waiting on him making some sort of statement and instead he just says "Get us another drink will ya?"

"What did your last slave die of?"

"You're not dead yet" Aaron replied with a grin "got a few more years to get out of you yet"

"Glad to hear it" Jackson replied as he weaved his way through the bodies towards the kitchen. It was then that Aaron noticed that Adam still hadn't come back since Mia had shouted on him. Maybe she was killing him for being late? Well if she was he wasn't about to save him. He deserved it.

It was another hour before Ella turned up and she did so as they were all making their way through to the dining room. Declan pulled her through to another room, more than likely demanding to know where she had been. Aaron could help but glance at Adam, he looked terrified. They had been at home farm for almost two hours and in that time Aaron had consumed more than one drink and he was annoyed. There were things annoying him, he was trying to use alcohol to block them out but then things at the party started annoying him. For example he was sure one guy gave him a dirty look when he saw him standing too close to Jackson and then there was the fact he had caught some twat in a suit trying to chat Jackson up when he had returned from the toilet. That hadn't pleased him, or the fact that even with him stood there the guy still handed Jackson his card and said "Call me" That had caused a minor tiff, Jackson insisting it was for work and Aaron insisting it was because he wanted to sleep with him. They had separated not long after that, both wanting to calm down before it could go any further, so Jackson mingled and he sought out Adam.

"Right guys!" Mia said clapping her hands together, clearly trying to take the attention away from her parents in the next room "Let's eat yeah?"

He had to find him then. He couldn't sit at the opposite end of the table from him, more than likely that guy from earlier would attempt to get close to him. He couldn't let that happen. Pushing his way through the crowd he quickly found the builder and as expected he was with that guy again. Rolling his eyes he pushed his way between the two of them and grabbed Jackson's hand "come on" he said, pulling him into the dining room, Jackson smiling at the guy apologetically for his boyfriend's behaviour.

"Was that really necessary?"

"I don't like that guy"

Jackson rolled his eyes at that, Aaron didn't like anyone. Especially not someone that would show the slightest bit of interest in him and sometimes he liked it but other times he just went overboard on the testosterone display.

Xxx

It was safe to say Aaron was drunk. Jackson knew it, Adam knew it and Aaron knew it but there wasn't much they could do without causing a scene so Adam and Jackson were just hoping Aaron could keep it together. Aaron had other plans. He was angry at Jackson for something he had found out whilst at Bar West the night before, he was angry at the guy for trying to chat him up and he was just in the mood to be a dick.

"I have no idea why I'm here" Aaron said in a rather loud tone to the whole table "I didn't want to be here, had better things to do"

"Aaron"

"Adam!" Aaron grinned "My mate Adam"

Adam glared, silently telling him to shut up. Aaron cleared his throat then looked at Jackson, he smirked "he thinks I'm going to kick off" he looks at the rest of the table "I should" he glares at the guy from earlier "but I'm not"

"I think he's drunk" Ella comments which caused Aaron to burst out laughing "Me drunk? You'd recognise the signs wouldn't ya darlin'"

Jackson's eyes widen at that as Declan looks at him, he can only shrug. He has no idea what's gotten into his boyfriend.

"You know what I'd never do?" Aaron asked the table "Cheat. I'd never cheat. Paddy was cheated on, I didn't like that"

"Aaron, come on. You're talking nonsense"

"No I'm not" he said looking around the table "I'm sure someone here is cheating, I mean... It's the thing to do when you're bored isn't it?" he looks back at Jackson "But I'm not bored" he slapped the builder's face gently whilst saying "you don't have to worry"

Adam knew it was only going to get worse. He suspected with the mood that Aaron was in that he could out his affair with Ella, he had to get him home "Why don't you get him home? Let him sleep it off?"

Jackson agreed with that and Adam helped him walk the mechanic to the door "Want me to call a taxi?"

"We'll walk" Jackson tells them "It'll sober him up" he looks at Declan "Sorry about this"

Declan was shaking his head with an amused smile "No need mate, it was... Entertaining"

Jackson laughed, it was entertaining for other people clearly, not him "I'll see you in the morning about everything"

"Yeah mate"

"Come on!" he barked at his boyfriend, grabbing him roughly by the shirt and pulling him from the house.

Xxx

The cold air seemed to sober Aaron up because before long he was marching ahead leaving Jackson to wonder just what the hell was wrong with him. He had noticed him being a little off but he just assumed it was because he was tired. What was wrong with him? Why hadn't he told him?

"Are you going to stop acting like a kid and tell me what's wrong with you?"

Aaron ignored him

"Are you staying at mine?" he tried, hoping something would make the mechanic speak. He didn't want an argument. They were nearing the village and he guessed he would just have to wait and see which direction Aaron went in before he did anything.

To his surprise Aaron headed for Dale View, he had expected him to go to Smithy, lock the door and ignore him. When he got to his place the door had been left open. Ryan was still up and in the living room "You two had an argument?"

"No" Jackson answered, closing the door behind him "He's just in a mood; you know what he's like. See you in the morning"

He heard Ryan call out "Goodnight" but he didn't reply, he had other things on his mind. Aaron was going to tell him what was wrong whether he liked it or not.

Aaron was stood facing the window when he entered his room; he closed the door behind him and waited. He knew Aaron would speak in his own time.

"Why haven't you moved back into Smithy?"

Jackson had not been expecting that question, it floored him and threw him a little "I...Uh..." he stuttered "I just haven't. Things are good, why rock the boat?"

Aaron turned at that, staring straight at him "Rock the boat? What's that mean?"

"It didn't exactly work out did it?"

Aaron sighed "It did, I hate it that you live here"

"Aaron we spend most nights in the same bed, why does it matter that I no longer live in Smithy?"

"Cause I want you to. I want us to live together. I liked it"

"Right" Jackson nodded at that, he liked it to. He liked wakening up next to the mechanic every morning "Why don't you move out of Smithy?"

"Move where?"

"Here, with me"

Aaron scoffs "Smithy is better"

"Why? Cause it's Paddy and you don't care what he sees or hears?"

"No!" Aaron growls "Cause the rent is next to nothing, why pay more when he has a perfectly good house there?"

"Rhona is pregnant; they'll have a baby soon"

"So?" Aaron shrugged "He's not likely to kick us out, he wants you back as much as I do"

Jackson didn't believe that Aaron's problem was him not living at Smithy "Is that why you were acting like a complete jerk at Home Farm? Because I don't live with you?"

Aaron looked away and Jackson had his answer. He closed the distance between them "Gonna tell me what is?"

"You're going on holiday"

Jackson laughed "Gonna miss me?"

"It's more who you're going with"

"What are you talking about?"

"Sol told me"

"Told you what?"

"Well, when you thought it would be a good idea to leave me with the founding member of the 'We hate Aaron' club he told me all about how you're ex is going on holiday with you too"

"My ex"

"Yeah" Aaron nods quickly, a tight smile on his face "The guy you were screwing before me, ring any bells?"

"Yeah Aaron, he's my ex. I'm with you"

"Why you going on holiday with him?"

"Why not?" Jackson fired back, unable to see a problem unless... "You don't trust me?"

"That's not it"

"It's what it sounds like"

"I trust you" Aaron points out "Just... you didn't ask me if I wanted to go then I find out that. I don't know why you never told me"

"I didn't think I needed to Aaron" he runs his hands up and down the mechanic's arms "I'm with you. Not him. I dumped him for a reason"

"What was that?"

"Found him in bed with someone else"

Aaron's eyes widened at that. Why would someone cheat on Jackson? "I'm not a cheat and even if I was... I'm in love with you you idiot"

Aaron looked at the ground and then back at Jackson "I know" He did know that "I love you too" Jackson shook his head "Are you going to stop being so stupid?"

"Are you going to move back into Smithy?"

"After my holiday" Jackson said, agreeing. He wanted to live with the mechanic again. They had been together nearly a year if you didn't count the breaks inbetween. He had something planned for their anniversary, he wasn't sure if Aaron even knew what time it was coming up to but he left for his holiday the next day. He wanted to do something

Aaron doesn't like that idea "No, tomorrow, you don't go on holiday for like eleven days. Move back in tomorrow" he flashed the builder a grin and he knew he had him "Fine"

"Thank you" Aaron said, leaning in and kissing him deeply "thank you"

"Is that it?" Jackson asked with a laugh "Nothing else you wanna tell me?"

Aaron knows he has to tell him about Adam and Ella, he can't keep that a secret any longer "One more thing but you have to promise you won't tell anyone, for me"

"OK"

"Promise?"

"I promise"

"Well, it goes like this..."

Xxx

REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS MOST WELCOME :)


	28. Caring

**Caring**

_Disclaimer - Nope, they're not mine._

* * *

><p>It was getting late and he'd been waiting on his mates for forty five minutes already. Conveniently no one was picking up their phones. Where the hell were they? He was just about to get up and leave the restaurant when someone said his name "Jackson Walsh?" looking up he was faced with a pair of mesmerising blue eyes and he was pretty sure he couldn't even remember his own name "Are you Jackson Walsh?" all he could do was nod. The guy smiled and slipped into his seat "Sorry I was late, something came up" Jackson was now staring at him. He was hot, younger than him but hot and there was the fact that the guy clearly knew who he was and he had no idea who he was.<p>

"Do I know you?"

"Uh... You hired me, didn't you?"

"Hired you?" he's rather loud upon saying that "Hired you? What are you talking about?" the guy is now looking at him like he's from another planet "You called the company, hired me for the night..." he trailed off, noticing the confusion on the older man's face "or not" he adds "someone must have thought you needed some fun"

He scowls. His friends, they had set him up "You're...an...a... Are you an escort?" the guy merely nods and Jackson sits back in his chair, eyes wide once more "I'm going to kill them" he states "they're dead"

The guy chuckles and smiles at him a little "they clearly think you need it"

"They're clearly dead" he states and goes to get up but the guy puts his hand onto his arm, stopping him "It's your birthday right?"

Jackson nods

"They've paid for all this, might as well use it right? You're hungry right?"

Again Jackson nods

"I'm not about to sleep with you"

"You don't have to" the guy tells him "Just eat and chat, nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Jackson shrugged "Do I get to know your name at least?"

After a minute or so of hesitation the guy says "Aaron, my name is Aaron"

"Is that you're real name?" Jackson asks, not convinced that it is "Could be" the guy answers with a smile just as the waiter comes to take their order. They order their meals and sit there staring at one another, well, Jackson is the one doing most of the staring. He can't take his eyes off of the guy in front of him. He wasn't his type, far from it but he was beautiful. Deep blue eyes, shaven head, around six foot, maybe a little shorter and there was just something about him. How could he be an escort? It was also obvious to Jackson that he was young, he looked like he was about seventeen or eighteen, he was only twenty one but still, he wanted to find out this his age.

"You keep staring at me"

"Sorry" Jackson says looking away quickly, embarrassed at being caught out but eventually looks back and says "What age are you?"

"I don't think that's any of your business" the guy points out with a small smile "I'm not asking you what age you are"

"You're about eighteen" Jackson tells him "Why the hell are you doing this?"

Aaron gives him a look "Do you know how much I get paid?" Jackson shakes his head "That's why. I need money and hey... Something useful has to come out of being gay, right?" Aaron didn't know what he was doing or why he was doing it but there was something about the older guy he liked, something about him that was making him talk, making him truthful. He had only been at this escort thing for a couple of months, he lied to everyone else why wasn't he lying to this guy? He knew why, he fancied him. He'd never been hired by someone his age before or someone that looked like him.

"So... you do this to make yourself feel better about being gay?"

Aaron shrugged, that was about it.

"That's pretty stupid"

"Makes money"

"So you're in it for the money?" Aaron nods "I already said that"

"Yes you did" Aaron changes the subject quickly and Jackson lets him, it wasn't his place to tell Aaron he was being stupid and it wasn't his place to question his choices, they'd only just met after all. Instead he focused on chatting to the younger man and getting to know him, he had nothing better to do with his birthday after all.

It was just before ten when they finished their meal, walking out into the cool summer night air Jackson didn't want the night to end yet. He was pretty sure he wouldn't get to see him again, ever. He wanted to get to know him better, everything about him. He wanted to ask him out but do escorts date? He didn't know. His thoughts were interrupted by Aaron's voice "Do you want to come back to the hotel?"

"Sorry what?" Jackson hadn't heard what he said.

"I said do you want to come back to the hotel"

Jackson's eyes widened and Aaron was making himself clear "Not for that" he points out "You're mates have paid, shame to waste it. We could pick up some cans, have a drink? Unless you have somewhere to be?"

He didn't have anywhere to be "Alright" he says with a nod and follows Aaron.

Xxx

Twenty minutes later they're at the hotel, sitting on the floor with cans of lager in front of them. Jackson can't quite believe just how surreal his birthday was turning out to be, he kinda liked it. Well, he kinda liked Aaron.

"So what do you do?"

"Haven't you guessed?"

Jackson rolls his eyes "I'm guessing you have a day job"

"What makes you think that?"

Jackson shrugs, he just has a feeling "You're right though, I do"

"What is it?"

"It's private"

"Like your age?"

"Like my age" Aaron confirms with a smile "Well, I'm a builder and I'm twenty one, incase you were wondering"

"You look like a builder"

"What does that mean?" Jackson asks but Aaron just shakes his head and laughs it off.

As the night goes on Aaron finds himself relaxing more and more with this guy. He really likes him, he wants to get to know him. He can only do that if he's honest though "I'm eighteen" he says before he really thinks it through "and I'm a trainee mechanic in Emmerdale" his eyes widen, he had just given away where he lived, what he did and what age he was. He was definitely drunk

Jackson couldn't help but grin "Thank you" Aaron shrugs, somewhat embarrassed "Does this mean I can take you out on a date then?" Jackson asks and he silently prays that he won't be shot down in flames for the question.

"I don't date clients. I can't date clients"

"I'm not your client" Jackson points out "My friends hired you not me" As much as he wants to he can't date him, he can't date a client, he may not have been the one paying but if word got out, well, he was sure they would sack him. He fancied him, he wanted him but he couldn't date him, could he? No.

"Is that why you're doing this?" Jackson asks changing the subject "So you can afford your own garage when you're fully qualified"

"Something like that"

Jackson doesn't know what to say to that, he still doesn't see why someone who looked like Aaron and who was as young as Aaron would want to do this. He wanted to know more, he wanted to get to know him better but he couldn't see it happening.

It was getting late. He wasn't worried anything would happen if they drank anymore because he wasn't the type to sleep with someone on a first date, even although it wasn't a date and Aaron was an escort, he wouldn't be sleeping with him. He didn't want things to become awkward

"I should really be heading home"

Aaron scoffs "Why? What's wrong with this room?"

Jackson looks at the one double bed and Aaron lets out a laugh "You've never slept in a bed before?"

"Not with..."

"With what? An escort?"

"I was going to say stranger. I don't do one night stands"

Aaron gives him a weird look and says "Why the hell did they hire me?"

"'Cause they're idiots"

"Well" Aaron says pushing himself to his feel "I'm used to sleeping with strangers, we may as well make the most of it" he stops, he stares at Jackson for the longest moment and the builder feels a little awkward. Why was he staring at him like that? A few seconds later he starts pulling off of his clothes until he's left in just his boxers "I've been up since six" he says "I'm knackered"

Jackson was too busy trying to keep his eyes from roaming Aaron's body. He was built like some sort of Greek god, and he was only eighteen? Jackson really liked what he could see. It's hard not to notice the way Jackson's eyeing him and Aaron laughs, it makes him feel quite good to know Jackson's attracted to him, if only he could date him, god how he wanted to see his body. He was quickly aware that he wasn't about to get to though because Jackson kicked off his boots and lay down on the far side of the bed. Without a word Aaron climbed into the opposite end and tried to sleep. It was hard for the both of them, but eventually they both fell asleep.

Xxx

The morning after the night before and Jackson woke to find that he was alone in the bed and in the room. Aaron was gone. Aaron was gone and he hadn't left a single trace of himself. Jackson couldn't help but frown. There was something about the guy that intrigued him, he wanted to know more. Luckily for him Aaron, when tipsy had given up more information that he probably wanted about his real life. Jackson knew exactly how he was going to see him again. Fate had a strange way of making things happen.

Xxx

At nine am Jackson pulled up outside his next job. It was in Emmerdale, which is exactly where Aaron had said he was from. Jackson couldn't help but wonder if they're paths might have crossed paths whilst he was in the village anyway and when he pulled up outside his new boss' building he knew it was likely. Right next door to the house was a garage and he guessed it was the only garage in Emmerdale, it was after all a small village. What would Aaron think? He didn't know but he was pretty sure that at some point that day he would find out.

Stepping out of the van he couldn't help but look in the general direction of the garage and he spotted him. He had blue overalls on that were tied around his waist and he was laughing at something a good looking blonde had just said. Thankfully, before he could start drooling, Declan came walking out of the house "Find it alright again then?" he had been in the village before, a couple of days prior to today, pricing the job. Why hadn't he seen the mechanic/escort then? Things would have been much simpler although he suspects that he probably wouldn't have found out about his night time job if that had been the case.

"Yeah, sound" Jackson grinned "Shall I get started then?"

Declan smiled at him "It's all yours" he tells the builder "Although mind if I spot you lunch? We can go over some more of the plans?"

"Free lunch?" Jackson quips "I'd never say no"

"Good, good. I'll meet you in the Woolpack at say... Half one?" Jackson looked in the direction Declan was pointing. 'The Woolpack' seemed to be the local pub.

"Sure, see you then"

Xxx

He was sat eating lunch with his new boss when he heard the pub door open and someone laughing. His stomach flipped at the sound. He knew that laugh. He'd heard it hours before. It belonged to Aaron. Nervously he lifted his eyes from his plate and glanced in the direction the sound had came from, sure enough Aaron was stood at the bar with the guys he had seen at the garage when he arrived that morning. Noticing he was looking over he hears Declan say "That's them from the garage next door, mostly harmless apart from the boss, he might be difficult"

"Difficult how?" Jackson asks impressing himself with the fact that he could tear his eyes away from Aaron.

"I'm just expecting him to be difficult" Declan says and Jackson looks back over, only this time Aaron is looking his way. Aaron looks shocked; shocked could actually be an understatement. He's standing at the bar, glaring at him, eyes wide and mouth almost wide open. All Jackson can do is smile and nod a little before turning back to Declan and trying to make small talk. It did not look like Aaron was pleased to see him. He expected some sort of confrontation to happen once outside the pub.

Twenty minutes later Declan had left in his car and Jackson was just making his way out of the Woolpack when someone grabbed his arm. "What are you doing here?" It was Aaron, he knew it was Aaron.

"I'm working for Declan" he says "It has nothing to do with you" Aaron scoffs, clearly not believing him and Jackson rolls his eyes "You think I managed to bag myself a job in Emmerdale all within four hours? Come on"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't really ask where I was working, did you?"

Aaron pulls a face at that. He had him. He hadn't asked where he was working just what he did for a living. "You're not gonna..."

"Tell anyone?" Jackson finished for him "Course not" he answers quickly before adding "Only if you give me a date"

"I told you!"

"That you can't date clients; I didn't know mechanic's had a code of conduct with clients"

Aaron couldn't help but smirk at that "I've never looked at your car"

"It's a van actually and if I have to bring it in just to get a date with you I will, come on. One date?"

He wants to. He really, really wants to which is the exact reason he finds himself saying "Alright, if it'll shut you up"

"It will"

"When?"

"When you free?"

"Tonight?" Aaron asks before realising that he might sound a little too keen, he is but that didn't mean he had to show it. He could play it cool.

"I'm free tonight" Jackson tells him "Can I walk you back?" Aaron nods "You're working at Dale Head?"

"Yeah"

"Guess I'll be seeing a lot of you"

A few minutes later and they've both reached their destination "So where is this date then?"

"Thought we could keep it casual, say Bar West at seven? You know it?"

"Yeah, I go there quite a bit"

"Me too" Jackson says wondering how it's been possible that the two of them had never met before "I'll see you later" Aaron says before leaving Jackson stood outside Dale Head with his thoughts.

Xxx

Seven pm and Aaron was in a panic. What the hell did he wear? He had no idea. Not only did he have no idea he also couldn't help but wonder if anyone of his 'clients' would be at the bar. He knew the bar, he liked the bar but he didn't hang around it all that much for fear of people recognising him. Which in turn made it hard to find a boyfriend... A boyfriend? He wasn't even sure he wanted one of them. He's pretty sure no one would like the fact that he was an escort and slept with other men. No one would put up with that, would they? He didn't want to keep Jackson waiting, he knew he'd only show up at the garage the following day demanding answers or... He could even show up outside Smithy. It wouldn't be hard to track down where he lived if he didn't already know. No, he had to go. Why was he so nervous? He was an escort, he dated strangers all the time? What was different about this? He knew the answer to that straight away, he liked this guy. Like, really, really, _**really**_ liked him and he didn't really want to screw it up. Pulling on a black jumper, black jeans, a pair of boots and grabbing his leather jacket from a hanger he headed out the door. He had to get to the bar before Jackson thought he was being stood up.

Xxx

It was almost eight and Jackson was sure he had been stood up. It didn't help that his friends were sat not too far away and were grinning at him with looks that said they too thought he had been stood up. He should have expected it really. He had almost bullied Aaron into the date, although, thinking of the mechanic/escort he couldn't see anyone making him do something he didn't want to go. He was just about to give up, give up and join his friends when he heard a voice say "Sorry I'm late" he turned around to be faced with a slightly red faced Aaron looking as if he had been running.

"You been running?"

"Yeah" Aaron says slipping onto the empty stool "didn't want to be any later, thought I'd run"

"Thought I'd been stood up"

"Nope. I'm here"

Jackson nods

"And I'm thirsty" Aaron adds on with a smirk and Jackson rolls his eyes "my round?"

"Course, you asked me out remember?" Shaking his head Jackson slipped from the stool and made his way towards the bar. Stealing a glance in the direction of his friends he could see them staring at Aaron. Clearly they were wondering where he had met him, he wasn't about to tell them though. It was none of their business, even if they had paid for him to have Aaron's company the previous night.

Xxx

"Any good?" Aaron asks nodding at the now empty pool table, looking to see what his date was asking about Jackson's face lit up upon seeing the pool table "the best" he tells him already slipping from his chair "ready to lose?"

"I had a misspent youth" Aaron tells him as he follows him towards the pool table "Pretty sure I'll win"

Jackson doesn't look convinced "I'm certain you won't" he tells the younger man "I've never lost a game yet" he smirks "You're not about to make me lose my winning streak"

Aaron smirks and pulls a face, a face which says 'We'll see' and Jackson grins back before setting up the table, ready for the game. Not even five minutes later and the game was over. Jackson wiped the floor with him. After breaking, he missed his shot and after that... Well, that was it. Jackson didn't take prisoners when he was playing pool and Aaron was left to admit to defeat "Remind me who just won?" Jackson asks with a grin and Aaron scowls.

"Lucky break"

"Pfft"

Not wanting Jackson to continue to gloat Aaron says "My round then?"

"Should be" Jackson says "Loser should always buy the winner a drink" Aaron made his way to the bar hoping that Jackson would stop gloating soon but he didn't mind. He was enjoying himself. The builder was fun, he made him smile... He made him... Happy and being happy was rare.

Whilst waiting on his turn at being served he glanced back in the direction of Jackson only to see him stood talking to two guys. He didn't know them but clearly Jackson did and they kept nodding over in his direction until one of them glanced and noticed him looking. His eyes went wide and he must have mentioned it to Jackson because he turned and looked over, smiling at him. Aaron gave a slight nod before the bartender spoke to him, he turned and ordered their drinks. By the time he got back to Jackson the two guys were gone but he had to ask.

"Who were they?"

"Just a couple of my mates"

"The mates that..."

Getting what he was meaning Jackson was quick to nod and say "Yeah, they don't know though. I didn't tell them"

That was good. He didn't want anyone knowing how they met "How did you say we met?"

"You work next to my new job... I'm a quick worker"

"And I'm clearly that easy" he says sitting down at the table and Jackson fires back with "Either that or the truth?"

"Shut up and drink your pint"

Xxx

Three weeks. They had been seeing each other for three weeks and it was going... Well, except for the fact that a few nights Aaron had cancelled on him. He knew why... He had told Aaron that he didn't have a problem with his night time activities but it had been three weeks and all they had done was kiss. He would only kiss him but he'd sleep with other men? What did he have to do? Pay him? He wasn't about to pay his own boyfriend for sex. There was another thing, he didn't even know if he was his boyfriend or not. They'd never really had that chat. They were just dating, dating and having heavy petting sessions on Aaron's bed almost every night but it never went any further than that. He was beyond frustrated. Aaron was incredibly good looking and his body was amazing, he'd seen it the first night they met but... He hadn't seen it in the way he really wanted to and judging by Aaron's behaviour that wasn't about to change.

It was Saturday night. They hadn't planned to meet due to the fact that Jackson had been avoiding the teenager as much as possible since being turned down on Thursday night. He was in Bar West and he had no idea where Aaron was, he did however have one or two missed calls from him on his phone. He wasn't going to call him; he was teaching him a lesson. He wasn't sure what the lesson was but he was teaching him it whilst having a night out with his friends. He just hoped they wouldn't ask about his new boyfriend... He didn't want to talk about him.

Xxx

Aaron was at a loss. It was Saturday night and he was trying to get hold of Jackson but his calls would either ring out or he would be sent to voicemail. He really wanted to see the builder. He hadn't seen him in a couple of days. Well, he hadn't seen him since the last time he cancelled on him. He didn't want to keep cancelling but the agency was lining up dates for him. It was his job what was he to do? He knew Jackson was growing tired of it... Tired of that and the fact that he hadn't touched him yet, it wasn't that he didn't want to, boy, he did. It was just that he was scared of what taking that step would mean because he really, really liked him. He was pretty sure he wouldn't have to worry about any of that thought because Jackson was going to dump him. He knew that was the only reason he could have been avoiding him, he was trying to figure out how to let him down gently. Great, he had told his agency not to line up any dates for him as he was having a couple of days off. Days that he had hoped to spend with Jackson whereas now he was sure he would be using them to mend a broken heart. He needed a drink, so he was going to Bar West trying to convince himself he wasn't on the way there in the hope that Jackson would be around.

Xxx

Forty five minutes later Aaron was sat at the bar inside Bar West and he was surprising himself. He was surprising himself by the fact that he wasn't scanning the room for Jackson. No, he needed a drink before he could do that. Dutch courage and all that, he was sure a drink or two would make being dumped easier to deal with. He was convinced he was being dumped, guess he was going to just have to take it like a man and listen to Cain and Ryan winding him up about how he had been dumped. Turning around he scanned the room, the first place he looked though was the pool table and after that he didn't have to look much further. He had found him.

He didn't like what he could see. Which had him slipping off the bar stool and making his way through the Saturday night crowds. He hadn't even dumped him but he was flirting with other guys? What the hell?

"Interrupting something?" Aaron asks, coming to a standstill behind Jackson and glaring at the guy whom he had been chatting too. Jackson throws the guy a tight smile before turning around and facing his boyfriend "Aaron!" he says in a cheery voice "What brings you here?"

"Who's he?"

"A friend"

"Does your friend know you have a boyfriend?" Aaron asks but he's still glaring at the guy over Jackson's shoulder but the next words out of Jackson's mouth have him focusing his attention back on the builder.

"Do i?"

"Oh am I dumped?" he barks at the older man, trying to control the hurt that he's sure is clear to see on his face "Could have told me before finding my replacement"

Not wanting to have an argument in front of his friends, Jackson says "I'm not the one that keeps cancelling dates" before walking away from Aaron and his friends. After a second Aaron turns on his heel and follows.

Outside the bar he finds Jackson leaning against the wall "Why'd you walk away?"

Turning Jackson looks at him "Didn't think you'd want to talk about why you keep cancelling on me in front of the whole bar"

"You knew what I did when you started seeing me" Aaron reminds him and Jackson scoffs "I didn't think it would mean that you'd cancel all of our dates... and..."

"And what?"

"Doesn't matter" Jackson says shaking his head "Maybe we should just end this here. Now."

Secretly Jackson was hoping Aaron would be against that idea because he really didn't want to end it. He liked him too much but he didn't want to be continually put last on Aaron's list of priorities.

"That what you want?"

Jackson shrugs and Aaron takes a step closer. Reading Jackson's body language, he quickly guessed it wasn't what the builder wanted "It's not what I want" he breathes out "Far from it. I mean... I took the weekend off to spend with you"

"You did?" Jackson says, surprise evident in his tone of voice. "Mm-hmm" Aaron answers, he's now standing directly in front of the builder and he's smirking "Tried to tell you but uh... You wouldn't answer your phone"

"You deserved it" Jackson points out "Don't cancel on me again"

"Promise" Aaron says holding his hands up as a sign of defeat in front of him "Now..." Aaron changes the subject "How about you take me back to yours and show me your bedroom?" he was being blunt but he wanted Jackson to know exactly what it was he wanted.

"You mean?"

He gives a single nod as his answer and Jackson nodding enthusiastically at the suggestion "It's not far" he says, nudging Aaron with his shoulder before walking ahead of him.

Xxx

Four weeks later and they had been together for almost two months. Jackson couldn't quite believe it at times. They argued, they fought worse than a cat and dog but they always made up, there was just one underlying problem for them. Aaron's night time activities, he was having trouble coming to terms with them, dealing with them. When Aaron would come home smelling like some other guy he hated it and it would cause most of their arguments. Take last night for example. Aaron had came back to his, early hours of the morning, jumped in the shower then preceded to curl himself around him in bed. Even although he had showered, he always showered, he could still smell the foreign smell and he'd had to pull away, it was still playing on his mind as he stood at the stove making breakfast. Too lost in his own thoughts to hear that Aaron was up and currently making his way into the kitchen.

It was only when Aaron's arms slipped around his waist and he fitted himself along the length of his back that he was aware of his presence. Usually he would smile, lean back and bask in the arms of his boyfriend but he couldn't. As much as he wanted to he just could pretend to feel at ease. Placing a kiss on the exposed skin of Jackson's neck Aaron sighed happily and said "What are you doing up? You should have woken me" Jackson is tense. He's so tense that he's pretty sure he's almost rock solid, how can Aaron not have noticed? Apparently he hasn't though because he's still talking on and on but Jackson has no idea what he's saying as he's not listening.

"Making breakfast" he says pulling out of Aaron's arms and moving towards the fridge. He didn't need anything, he just needed away from Aaron. "Come back to bed" Aaron says with a smirk and grabs hold of the builder's arm only for him to pull away "I'm making breakfast" he repeats causing Aaron to raise his eyebrows in question.

"You're making breakfast?"

Jackson nods

"You'd rather eat than have sex?"

Again Jackson nods

"Liar" he says pinning Jackson against the fridge and kissing him. It only takes his a couple of seconds before he realises that Jackson isn't kissing him back. He pulls back "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing"

Aaron scoffs "What's wrong with you?"

With his back to him Jackson closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He has to tell him because he's pretty sure they can't go on like this. He can't.

"I can't do this anymore"

Aaron's eyes widen and he's pretty sure his heart has just plummeted to the bottom of his stomach. With a shaky voice he asks "Do what?" just as Jackson turns to face him.

"This" he says pointing between them "Us"

"You're dumping me? Why?" Aaron is in shock, he had no clue this was coming. They had been together nearly two months, things were going great. Things were great, why was he being dumped? What had he done? "What have I done?"

"It's not you..."

"I swear if you say 'It's not you it's me' I'm going to hit something"

"It is" Jackson is pretty sure his own heart is breaking as he stands staring at the mechanic. He can see the hurt in those deep blue eyes, the shock. He wants to wrap his arms around him and take it away but he can't. He's not about to be one of those people who makes their boyfriend chose between them and their job, even if said job is as an escort. He just couldn't do it.

"We we're fine yesterday! When you told me to come over. What happened? Have you met someone else?"

Bingo. Jackson had a way out, a way that was guaranteed to have Aaron agreeing to the split without argument. "Yeah"

If he had been punched in the stomach Aaron was sure he would have been able to breathe better than he currently was. Jackson had found someone else. He had found someone else on the nights he had been out working and unable to go to Bar West with him. It was his own fault. Turning Aaron walks out of the kitchen and back into the bedroom. He has to dress, he has to get out of there.

Xxx

Jackson knew he had two options. Let Aaron walk out thinking he had met someone else or tell him the truth and deal with the consequences of that. He didn't want to lose him and before he knew it his decision was made because he was standing at the bedroom door watching as Aaron pulled on his jeans and top.

"It's your job Aaron. I haven't met anyone else. I don't anyone else"

Aaron has his back to him but he stills when Jackson talks, listening. "My job?"

"I can't take you sleeping with other people. There, I've said it. I can't do it. I just wanted you to know the truth. There's no one else, at least not for me"

"You knew what I was when we started dating" the teenager says, still not facing him.

"I know that but I can't do it. I can't sleep with you when you smell like someone else. So.. we can end it. Now"

"I'm meant to meet your Mum on Tuesday" Aaron says turning around "can't meet her if we're not together anymore"

"I can't do it Aaron"

Forgetting to fasten his belt Aaron crosses the small distance separating him and his other half "You don't have to" he says "I'll stop. I'll call them and tell them I'm not working for them anymore"

"I don't want you..."

"Hey" Aaron says in a soft voice "I'm not doing it just for you. I started this because well... I wanted something worth while to come out of being gay and the money I've managed to save up is great, really but I like being a mechanic and..."

"And what?"

"And I've got something worthwhile out of being gay I think?"

"What?" Jackson asks, confusion evident on his features "You" Aaron replies simply "You're better than anything I could have imagined and I only met you because of that job, so I can't hate it but... If I have to choose which I want then... I want you"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" Aaron confirms with a nod "Now are you still hell bent on cooking breakfast or are you going to come back to bed and uh... Celebrate?"

Jackson didn't have to be asked twice. He kicked his bedroom door closed before pushing Aaron down onto the bed and settling himself down on top of him. He was pretty sure they wouldn't be leaving said room until it was dark again. He had no problems with that.

Xxx

Reviews are most wanted. I'm lacking inspiration. You review it might inspire me.


	29. Stumble

**Stumble**

_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to ITV_

_A/N - Number 29! Almost finished I am!_

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><p>"Behave yourselves"<p>

He couldn't help but roll his eyes at that. It was Jackson looking pointedly between him and his Dad before he followed the Doctor with Hazel. He thought he was funny well, he didn't think he was funny and he'd much rather be anywhere than sat in a waiting room with Jerry Walsh. The guy hated him and if he was honest there wasn't any love lost there. He didn't like him either, he'd told him to stay away from Jackson at the hospital and then he had found out about how he had hit Jackson when he found out about him being gay. No, he really didn't like Jerry Walsh but he put up with him, for Jackson's sake which is what he was sure the older man did with him.

Five minutes after Jackson had gone through the doors and he was bored. He was bored and slightly anxious. He wanted to go with him and if Jerry hadn't have been there he would have followed Hazel and Jackson into the Doctors room but with Jerry there he couldn't because it would only cause an argument. An argument he knows Jackson wouldn't want. He wasn't about to upset his boyfriend, not for Jerry anyway.

"Will you sit down" Jerry barked at him. Stopping what he was doing he glared at the older man. Who the hell was he to tell him what to do? Instead he ignored him and carried on his pacing. He wanted to stop but now he had a point to prove and that point was that he wasn't about to do what Jerry Walsh wanted him to do. Five more minutes and he was bored of pacing so he sat down directly opposite the older man and stared at him. He could tell Jerry was uncomfortable with the way he was staring at him because every now and then he would shift around in the chair or pick up a magazine before quickly putting it back down. It made him feel good to know he wound the older man up. It also pleased him to know that no matter how much he did wind him up he wouldn't call him on it, for Jackson. He found himself hoping he would though, every now and then because he was sure that if it came down to a choice, if Jackson had to choose between him or his Father that he would be his choice. Not that he wanted to make his boyfriend choose; he just wanted Jerry to know that if it ever came down to it, Jackson would choose him.

Xxx

He wasn't happy. In fact that would probably be an understatement, he was pissed off. Pissed off about the fact that he was currently sitting in a hospital waiting room with his son's boyfriend whom he couldn't stand and that was mostly because he didn't trust him. Just by looking at him he could tell he wasn't good enough for his son, nothing about him was good enough not to mention the countless times in the short space of time since Jackson's accident that they had split up. No, he did not like Aaron Livesy one little bit but he knew that there was nothing he could do because if he were to air his concerns Jackson wouldn't listen and he'd more than likely be told to go and never come back. He didn't want that. He had already spent way too much time apart from his son, all because he couldn't accept his sexuality and it he was honest with himself he still couldn't. He still wasn't ok with the idea of two men in a relationship but he loved his son, he'd almost lost his son. He could work on getting used to it.

"Will you sit down" he had to say it because Aaron's pacing was getting on his nerves and when the younger man stopped he was surprised, was he about to do it? No, he just wanted to glare at him before continuing his pacing. The kid was an idiot, it was that simple. What had Jackson ever seen in him? It's only five more minutes though before he bores even himself and has to sit down although, he chooses to sit directly opposite and stare at me. I'm sure he does it just to wind me up, to get me to start an argument with him. Sometimes I wonder if he's trying to prove a point to me, something along the lines of 'Jackson would pick me over you' I know that. I'm not a stupid man, I know that after everything I did to him there is no way on earth that Jackson would choose me over him and I'm just hoping to avoid the day when that choice has to be made.

"I'm not going to hurt him you know" his voice penetrates my voice and I look up to see him staring at me still "You what?"

Xxx

"I'm not going to hurt him you know" I don't know where the words come from but they tumble from my lips before I've even had a chance to think them through. I don't have to explain myself to this guy. What happens between me and Jackson is none of his business but still... I feel like I have to tell him I'm not going to hurt him.

"You what?" I hear him ask and take that as my cue to speak once more "I know you don't trust me and that you don't want me with Jackson"

"Do you blame me?" I can't blame him, not really. He's worried and I get that but he doesn't have to be. I would die for Jackson and I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt him, I just would. "I don't blame you" I tell him "but you don't have to worry. I'm not going anyway. This is it"

He rolls his eyes and I fight the urge to throw some sarcastic comment at him about how I wouldn't abandon him like him because I love him but I don't. I'm trying to be mature and have an adult conversation with a homophobic pig and I don't see it ending too well but at least I'm trying.

"You've left him about three times already"

I resent that. I haven't left him. Jackson pushed me away and the first time I was a scared kid, scared of the severity of Jackson's injuries and the second time Jackson was pushing me away when all I wanted was him.

"Twice actually" I find myself saying "and he dumped me"

"He dumped you before you could dump him"

I roll my eyes because if that's really what he thinks then why does he think I'm still around "I love him" I watch him roll his eyes and I bite my tongue but I can't stop the words that come spilling out of my mouth "but of course... two guys couldn't possibly love each other... Right?"

He glares at me. I've got him, I know I've got him but he denies it anyway "That's not it. You just don't strike me as the type to stay around with his injuries"

"And yet I'm still here"

"For now"

"For good" I said and he scoffs. I really want to punch him, it would make me feel better but it would probably cause me and Jackson to argue. He's not worth it so instead I take deep, measured breaths and try to calm myself down.

"You'll walk... Cause you can still do that and just be told that if you hurt him. I'll hurt you" he doesn't scare me. Not one little bit and I feel the need to tell him "You don't scare me, so quit trying. I'm not your son and I've not just come out. I'll stand up to you, for him and for myself if I have to because I'm not about to let **you** hurt him"

I'm fully aware that this is the longest we have ever spoken to each other and it probably will be the first and only time we share such a long conversation but I'm trying to get my point across. My point is that I'm not going anywhere, I love his son and that if he ever thinks of hurting him I will stop him. Even if that means getting Cain in for back up because there's nothing I wouldn't do for Jackson.

"You'll walk before I do" I point out "back to your cosy little wife and your new kid. Jackson doesn't need you and that's what kills you. What kills you is that fact you know you screwed up when he came out and you missed so much. You'll never get that time back, you hate that" he glares at me and I can't help but smirk.

He opens his mouth to reply but before he can the door of the waiting room is pushed open and in walks Hazel followed by Jackson. They both stop and look between the two of us though Jackson is the first one to speak "Everything alright?" I grin at him. I always grin at him, he just has a knack of making me that happy. I don't know what it is about him but my stomach does a little flip every time I see him.

"You were ages" I ignore his question and get to my feet, closing the distance between us and stooping down in front of him, using the arms of the wheelchair to hold myself up. He squints at me, clearly wondering what I'm doing but before he can ask I kiss him. Ok, so I kiss him mostly to piss Jerry off but it's also because I want to. I love kissing him; I'd kiss him all day if I could. Hazel clears her throat and I pull back and smirk at him, he smiles at me and gives me a look. He knows why I kissed him "ready to go?" Jerry is already on his feet and putting his jacket on "Yeah, let's go" he walks past them and out into the corridor.

"What did you say to him?" Hazel asks me as we walk to the front entrance. Jackson has caught up with his Dad "Nothing" I tell her but I laugh and she knows me better than that but she doesn't push the issue.

Xxx

Back in the village and Hazel and Jerry make for the kitchen to make tea or coffee which leaves me and Jackson in the living room. "What happened in that waiting room?" he's looking at me with that look and I have to tell him.

"I told him I loved you" he smiles and I can't help but smile back "and that I'm not going anywhere. Not that I had to but... I was bored"

He smiles at me again, getting it. Getting why I told him, he knows me better than anyone ever has or ever will. God, it's quite pathetic how much I love him and how the hell I didn't notice before I did. I'll always regret that.

Hazel and Jerry walk back into the room and it turns out Jerry is carrying my coffee. He hands it to me and I share a smile with Jackson as Hazel and Jerry drop into the seats opposite and the four of them discuss, for the first time, what happened at the hospital.

Xxx

Review please, Thank you!


	30. First Kiss

**First Kiss**

****_Disclaimer - Emmerdale & its characters do not belong to me, they belong to itv_

_A/N - Here endeth the story!_

* * *

><p>"Can I help you?"<p>

The voice from behind startled him, he hadn't been expecting anyone to come home, he'd seen the only people he thought had access to the house leave in a taxi not long before which is the only reason he let himself in with the key that amazingly still worked after all these years.

"Uh... Sorry" me mumbled whipping around and coming face to face with a woman who looked to be in her early forties with a bobbed head of straight blonde hair.

"You might be sorry love" she tells him "but who the hell are you and what are you doing in here?"

"I used to live here" he tells her as his gaze flicks around the room, taking it in. It hadn't changed much in the years he'd been away and somehow he'd imagined it would have "I didn't think anyone would mind, the door was open" he said, quickly covering for the use of his key "The door was open?" she asks with a frown "damn that Joe"

He stands there with his hands shoved deep into his pockets and he looks at the older woman. He wants to ask who she is but it's not really any of his business "Must have changed a lot since you last lived here, eh?" she smiles at him as she looks around the room also.

"Not really" he answers with a sad smile "Not really?" she asks with raised eyebrows "I was told it only got changed like this for Jackson, when did you live here son?"

Before he could answer her though he watched as her eyes widened and a loud gasp escaped her lips "You're him aren't you?"

He could only stand there like a deer caught in the headlights as she continued to stare open mouthed at him "You're Aaron"

He swallows the lump in his throat and nods "Jackson didn't mention you coming around or that you were back?"

"He... He doesn't know" Aaron admits to the woman "I'd like it to stay that way"

"You want me not to tell him that I found you walking around the house? Why not?"

"It's a flying visit" he explains to her "Just here to see my Mum, Paddy and Leo then I'm gone. I don't really want to bring up the past. I just wanted to see the place"

"Oh but he'd be so happy to see you" she coos and he can't help but roll his eyes. Happy to see him? Yeah, like he'd believe that.

"Please don't tell him? I've seen the place, I'm good" he smiles at her "I even seen Jackson from afar, he looks good. Is he... is he alright?"

"Jackson? Oh yeah, he's fine. Sarcastic and thinks he's funny but apart from that he's grand" Aaron can't help but smile as the woman talks about his ex but he manages to catch himself before it goes too far and takes a step back "I better be going but thanks and please don't tell him?"

The woman looks unsure but eventually she nods her head and she says "I won't breathe a word. I promise" With that Aaron disappears out of Dale Head and makes the journey back up to the pub, letting himself in through the back door. He didn't want to risk anyone seeing him, not yet anyway.

He had lied to that woman. It wasn't a fleeting visit. He was back. He couldn't stay away any longer. He had been away from the village for six years, six years too long for his liking. When his contract with his last job had expired they had been all set to renew it, wanting to keep him on but he turned them down. He told them it was time he got home and it was. The village was his home and he'd felt empty without it but six years ago he'd had to leave. Things were too much, it hurt too much. He was back now. Six years older, six years wiser. He wasn't the stupid kid that left. He was a man. A man that knew what he wanted but just wasn't sure what to do about it. He'd have to tell Jackson he was back in town; obviously it wasn't as if he could sneak past him like some ninja every time he spotted him in the village but... Would Jackson even want to see him? He had no clue.

Hearing the door open Aaron looked up to see his Mother walking towards him "Alright love? Where'd you run off to?"

"Dale Head" he answers, dropping his face onto his hands and looking a little lost. "Dale Head?" Chas asks, unable to keep the surprise from her voice "What'd you go there for?"

"Just to see it, see if it changed"

"Did you see Jackson?"

Aaron shook his head, no. "He went out in a taxi with Joe, I thought no one else would be there but there was some woman"

"Probably Wendy, she's Jackson's other carer, nice woman"

Aaron nods "She found me, she guessed who I was. Said she wouldn't tell Jackson she found me there"

"She won't" Chas assures her "She's nice that Wendy" Aaron doesn't respond to that and Chas just has to ask "Why didn't you want Jackson to know? I thought you were back for good? You're going to see each other"

"Wanted to tell him myself"

All Chas can do is stare at her son. Six years he and Jackson had been apart but she was pretty sure that as soon as they set eyes on each other the old feelings would come rushing back. They had separated, well Jackson had ended things between them and she had never seen Aaron so hurt. Not even after the crash. It was as if Jackson having ended their relationship killed a little bit of him deep inside. It was painful to watch. She hadn't had to watch it for long though. He left the village about two weeks after splitting up, he moved to London. Some big car firm had offered him a job and he'd taken it. She hadn't known it at the time but that's what had caused Jackson to end their relationship. Aaron had been offered the job but he hadn't told Jackson but Jackson had found out due to seeing one of the letters lying around and asking Joe to give it to him to read. He'd read it, asked Aaron about it and Aaron had said he didn't want to go. When asked why he'd made some excuse up but Jackson assumed it was because of him, he didn't want to hold the mechanic back and the next day he ended their relationship. He told Aaron to take everything that belonged to him out of Dale Head because he no longer wanted to be with him. Aaron hadn't believed him though, said he knew why he was doing it and that he was going anywhere but he moved out, intent only on giving Jackson space to realise that he wasn't really going anywhere but... That's when things got worse. To push Aaron away Jackson turned nasty and the things he said to Aaron, the things she heard were heartbreaking, so what he said to him in private god only knew.

"Are you back for him or are you back to buy the garage off of Debbie"

"To buy the garage, obviously"

"Sure?"

"Yeah" he says quickly but neither of them are really convinced "anyway, didn't you say he was seeing someone?"

"He ended that relationship too" she points out "ages ago"

Aaron nods, he hadn't asked about Jackson ever since his Mother had told him that he was seeing someone else. He couldn't. He was too hurt, too annoyed that Jackson had split them up because of his condition but seen fit to date someone else. Someone that wasn't him and wouldn't know him anywhere near as well as he did. How could he do something like that?

"You never did tell me what happened between you and that Brett"

"Didn't work out"

"And that's it?"

"Yep" Aaron confirms with a nod. He wasn't about to tell her that Brett left him because as he put it 'you're still mooning over your ex and no one wants to be with someone doing that' he had been right. He was still pining for Jackson and he was sure he'd always pine for him. The older man had a part of him that without him was missing and that no one else could fill. He'd tried filling it but it didn't happen. After he and Brett split he went from guy to guy just looking for that spark that he had had with Jackson but he never found it.

"He'll be in later" Chas says "Jackson, perfect time to tell him you're home, right?"

"Right"

Xxx

It was eight o'clock when there was a knock on the bedroom he was currently occupying "Come in" he called guessing it would more than likely only be one of two people as they were the only ones who knew he was back. He was right. It was his Mum "Jackson's just came in" she says "Come down" without waiting on a reply she stepped back out and closed the door.

Aaron could feel his heart racing. Jackson was here, they were in the same place at the same time for the first time in six years. He can still hear those words, those words that broke his heart and convinced him Jackson didn't want him "I don't love you" looking back now though he has no idea whether the builder meant them or he had just been saying them to push him away and he'd been too stupid to notice. He could lie to his Mother, to Paddy and to anyone that asked but he couldn't lie to himself. He knew deep down that he still loved Jackson Walsh just as much as he had done all those years ago. Checking himself in the mirror he slowly made his way downstairs, pausing to catch his breath before stepping through into the bar.

It was a Monday night and the bar wasn't all that busy although, people seemed to notice him, the whole place went scarily silent as soon as he stepped into it. Joe was the first to notice him, before Jackson anyway, his eyes widened and he could vaguely hear Jackson ask the carer what was wrong.

Knowing the carer didn't quite know what to say Aaron stepped towards the bar and said "He doesn't know how to tell you that I'm standing behind you"

From where he is he can see Jackson's head freeze and he can imagine the look he was currently sporting. After a few minutes of agonising silence as the whole bar waited to see what would be said, Jackson finally turned himself around to face the younger mechanic.

"Aa... Aaron?"

"One and only"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm home" he says honestly "I missed this place" he wants to say 'I missed you' but he doesn't.

"You look good"

"You two"

Jackson rolls his eyes and says "Don't lie"

Aaron frowns at that because he could never lie to him and he wasn't about to start now "I'm not lying" he says "You look good"

"Yeah, yeah whatever" Aaron can't help but continue to frown at his ex. Why did Jackson think he would lie? He wasn't that kind of person, not with him anyway.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" he asks because he's aware that the whole place is listening to them and judging him.

"I don't..." Jackson had been about to say no but the look the mechanic was sporting, the hopeful look had him changing his mind "Yeah" he says "Come on then"

Aaron is around the other side of the bar faster than he was sure he had moved in six years before following Jackson out into the cold night air.

Five minutes later they were at the bench just outside the church. Aaron sitting on it with Jackson in his chair directly in front.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"What you said, what you said to make me leave"

"Aaron..."

"Don't Aaron me, just tell me. Did you mean it?"

"That was six years ago, does it really matter?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because it does"

"No it doesn't. You've moved on. I heard all about it"

"I heard all about you moving on to! Bit stupid wasn't it? Ending us because of your condition but seeing someone else? What did he have that I didn't?"

"Nothing" Jackson answers truthfully "But I wasn't holding him back"

"You weren't holding me back"

"Yes I was. You never would have taken that job if I hadn't made you"

"I was thinking that job through. I didn't want to go without you, I didn't want to lose you but I wanted you to come with me!"

"Like that would have worked!"

"I wanted you Jackson. You meant more to me than some crappy job"

"It wasn't crap"

Aaron took a deep, shaky breath. They were getting off course. This wasn't what he wanted to happen. He didn't want to argue he just wanted an answer to his question.

"Did you mean it Jackson?"

"Why?"

"Because I need to know"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU!" Aaron yelled out loudly, quickly, his anger and Jackson's constant questions getting the better of him.

That was the last thing Jackson had been expecting to hear "You what?"

"I love you" the mechanic replies, more confident and quiet this time "I love you. I've never stopped"

"Aaron..."

"I came home for you Jackson. Can we do this again?" he asks "I could spend time being your friend and pretending I don't want you but I don't want to. I just want to be with you, can we do this again?"

"I... I don't know Aaron"

"Unless you did mean all those years ago?"

"Of course I didn't. I just wanted you to go and have a nice life"

"My life was with you. I wanted my life to be with you. I tried normal for six years, it sucked. I hated not being with you. Can we do this?"

"I... uh..." Jackson didn't get a chance to finish because Aaron kissed him, kissed him and waited and hoped Jackson would respond. He did and the kiss quickly deepened, taking both their breaths away. Aaron pulled back "Can we?"

Jackson nodded his head, he couldn't say no. Who could? With that he leant forward and captured Aaron's lips in their first kiss of their new relationship, this time nothing would pull them apart.

Xxx

REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS WANTED, WELCOME AND APPRECIATED


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